Craig Ferguson fun with guests compilation - part #1

What do you do, go to strip clubs and stuff? Yeah, yeah, what do you think about that? I think it's amazing. I thought maybe you knew. I think it's about a woman who just lets it all out, she takes it off, she just dances and shakes it. dancing I could go on I could go on and on, you haven't really looked at Donald or me, have you? I'm looking at you now yes you are and I'm looking at you studs up here this is easy access. button yes, yes, I'm always happy when you come to the show, it just makes me feel, yes, that's true, but the shoes stay on, that's good, yes, that's very good, come on ladies, the shoes stay on, the clothes come off, look, here it is, here's the thing, let's do a little role play here I like role plays, okay, I'm the head of the studio, okay, and you're throwing this movie about hitchhikers at me, okay, are you ready, okay, okay, go, can I do something sexual?

Hey, it depends if you want. Your movie is done or not, I really have to present it now. I feel horrible even though I'm not at work. I am an actress. I go in and just do the lines they tell me to do right and then you don't do it. I have to release it just do something sexual can I see? Oh, do you think one of those up there is okay? We're really going to do this, yeah, look at that sucker. Wow, Greg loves them and you know we made sure to say hello. Jeff, can I chime in?

I like it when you do that with your finger again. Right there, we should do everything. We do so. Everything like that. Tell me about you. Wait. I can't think of breaking a sweat. It's a little uncomfortable what I love is your shoes wow is that you dazzle yours or is it a big guy who high fives tonight the jazzle or dazzles if you want to talk to Jazlyn I am and come on wait I've kissed a lot of women in the screen and it's weird because when we go out together, a lot of people think we can kiss again and I'm like, do we really still like what's going on here?

I don't think men get over that, no we don't know, well you see, what's the charm and the mystery of you know, lesbian sex for men is this, it's like girls getting sexually aroused without another guy. there waste it for you, that's what straight men think, so when you see two women like you know the difference, it's like, oh look, they're kissing and there's no guy involved and I could be the one to help them, yeah , Yeah. I could go in there and you know, do it for everyone, no, I'm having a crisis right now. I'll tell you why, but it's because when you went out and your microphone didn't work, uh, it kind of got thrown away. kinda oh, he did it right, no, no, the microphone, it scared me, I thought I'm being too creepy today, I am, what about you, yeah, I guess I don't think so.

I think I think you're the same creepy guy as always. but it's kind of cool, creepy, it's nice, I mean, when you have an accent it's like, oh, thank you, so if you say, put some lotion in the basket, right? But if you say, put the lotion. in the basket it's okay, can you say it now? Put the lotion in the basket, yes that's not good, but it's not like everyone does it. What's frustrating is how when you go out sometimes us guys think that just because you're the girl and like just because I go on a date with you or kiss you or have sex with you, suddenly I want to be with you forever because I just broke up. faint inside, guys think that because they think, oh, you're the girl and I'm the guy and I the thing is sometimes you're the girl and I'm the guy that's just how things are sometimes like really I wouldn't want it sometimes I just need you sometimes you just want them to do it shut up stop talking so much be pretty I love you I think children are our future yeah it's okay if I love you you're in the gospel and even fish like fish crash against me, I don't know why I believe.

They would crash into me, no, they would dive, uh, they often crash into you, yeah, and sometimes they get up and go. Have you seen Emily? I wouldn't mind crashing into it and they're all a little off, but they're perfect. and they have a kind of cockney accent. Oh, you're welcome to Hawaii and I say Let me swim away. You should try it. Is incredible. I imagine a box in my head, but I don't know what's inside. Only Jeff knows what's in the box. you try to guess what's inside if you're right he'll tell you if you're wrong you have to pay four feet what does that mean? it means something sexy is happening to you I like how they cut pieces of your dress in it you can see through uh-huh cool, it's one of the magical illusions, even if you think you can see through it, you can't.

I'm happy to think I can see through it, back it up, Secretary, back it up, let the Miss, look what you've got, what kind of music would they play if elephant seals had music? Yes, you may have been on my list. Craig Ferguson, my husband is probably watching the show trying to see if I'm throwing any signals at you that he'll figure this out. not at all I mean this is very subtle yeah he's not going to see he's not going to notice anything uh no that's what yeah yeah I'm fine you know all the bees usually only sting you if you bother them that That's what my mother always said, she's a bee.

She'll only sting you if you bother her, so I shouldn't have walked up to her like, oh RB, yeah. I guess I know better now. You shouldn't work out and do all those things. I do, what do you do? I do yoga. Oh, what kind of yoga Kundalini Yoga I like Kundalini Do you know? Do you know what Kundalini is? Oh yes, I do. Wow, I do it. Kundalini is the one you practice for a long time. It is not like this? You know you have it. the paws and Kundalini for a long time you almost have to go more than they think you will have to go there Kundalini your love affairs I am known for being international I like them so you like to have international love affairs So tell me that one of your Spanish boyfriends has moustache.

Actually, I dated Mr. Madrid for half a second, right, and then I dated a matador, okay? no, it looks good, it fits you better than on a mat or not, but a lot of people are, yes, that's right, yes, yes, with the swing and yes, yes, we have to guest star on that one. I wish you could do it. that as long as you want is fantastic thank you wow ah, do you mind if I try it? oh really, yeah, sure, great, oh, thank you so much, oh my god, oh my god, yes. I have one word for you: Liberace, you know.

What I believe, Mayor of San Francisco, I just invented abroad. They say you know the idea is that we have to simplify the program, make it a little more. You know, CBS is a little bit more broadcast friendly and not so much. the form of sexual innuendos or you know bad words and stuff, but I have to tell you look how I'm going to go baby look I can't I'm sorry I'm a passionate man I can't keep inside me what I know is true, I look at you and I mean, damn man, my man. He might be a TV clown painted up for you, but inside these pants is a thunderously impressive penis.

Welcome back to the Big Show, where if you haven't seen the for a while we used to be in a small studio and CBS didn't care about us at all and we didn't have to deal with executives, now we've moved to a big, expansive studio and we get to bathe with us every night to make sure we're a quality show for the CBS audience and also to make sure they don't see anything dirty like what's coming before. PBS executive, you should be excited. I'm excited about that, oh. You don't really know your face because you're talking so my face is this is my first time no you don't want me to come out and go like this look I think I've done that haven't I done that? pretty good yeah that was some of your best work people assume it's for a character right it's not for a character I'm just an idiot and no one knows what that is because he's in the twilight movies so Of course, yes, right now someone understands. word I say anyway CBS has a gift for you Beth, why don't you bring her gift?

Beth is a CBS Executive, she could probably help you in your job to know about business, come on, come on, come on, how Beth is a CBS Executive, aren't you two? Yes I am. They have been awarded a dinner for two at Craig's Restaurant. It's not my real restaurant. It's a restaurant called Craig's. It has nothing to do with me, as if your friend had nothing to do with you either. I turned my bag around and just walked away. I could feel the dirt and just wanted to go to the market on the strip. Can you feel the dirty now from the dirty baby?

They are kind, although I did well in the monarchy. I'm just watching the show, uh, you know, I get it pretty weird. I could watch you do that for a while if you want, but I like it, yeah, thanks, yeah, yeah, it's good, I don't think it suits you, no. It wouldn't look good on me I have big fingers and sausages even my pinky is a bit sausagey it's like I have two pounds of sausages how's that going some girls like that? Yes, I'm Danish, actually it's okay, I eat bacon, yes. like bacon, I thought, "I should ask if you like to use Danish bacon as Danish bacon, actually yes, I like crispy bacon or I think you have Canadian bacon.

I think there's something about Canadian bacon and you know what kind of bacon I am." . I'm talking sweater guys, what is Canadian bacon? It's like a ham. Canadian bacon is fat-free. Hey, no, are you a cheese fan? I used to eat. I don't eat cheese anymore, but I just like to be around people who eat, if your husband is French, you will be surrounded by cheese, that's going to happen. Yeah, I mean, people live like there are other people I know who like cheese. I will enjoy heavy use from time to time. Again, okay, look what I did, I spilled water on my shirt right there, classy, ​​yes I do, yes, okay, in Australia we say it's a very Bogan thing, yes, the Australian Bogan Lake for the Rednecks, right?

Yes, yes, so you may like it. spill stuff on you you could have like 18 kids you could be a Bogan if I do take it out oh there you go I'm sorry I got rid of it would you like me to unwrap it? no, it's okay, do you want too? move this, although it might be safer to keep the wrapper that was chicken, no, it's not the same with a wrapper on, I know it's safer, but it's not the same, but let's take an awkward pause from a quick harmonica, shall we? that? Do you prefer? Well, um, uh, the awkward pause is nice, yeah, it's always a safe bet.

You start today. Put your Stitch. God, continue. Doesn't he thank you very much? I think the vehicle stones one side of the hair and once they bring the other, I know, they are very smart, I like symmetries, look at them on all your tattoos and in the places that really hurt, does it hurt? Wait a second, does it hurt? Yes, I will admit it every time I get a tattoo. I like it, you know, I like it too, except when I have it here, which was here like, oh yeah, like that, right, that, no, okay, but just when it stays on your uh, it went up too high, well , I was like let him drag you. too high, yes, tattoos.

I don't really have any tattoos with images. I usually quote it and I had to stop because I always go to this website to get these quotes and if I had kept going it would really be a book of quotes about my entire body. I got too many quotes because okay, I just have to make you, you're pretty interesting anyway, I mean, uh, but, like, if you met you, people could literally read you, you could start a story and then. If you like someone you can say do you want to see chapter two? what's going on yeah, hello, how are you oh, I'm doing pretty good, what's my, how am I, oh, I know where you are, I've always known, say, let's cut right to chapter four, let's try to pick you up saying they have their own reputation, you know, I have my own raft, I have a raft and an outboard motor and I live at home with my mother, oh oh no, that's no, you don't. t, but the Wrath line isn't great either, I think it's that you think you would date if you were a lady, well you don't if I told you I have my own raft, yeah, you would date me, yeah, because I think.

You're crazy and we'll probably have sex the first night. She is so beautiful. She is very beautiful. She was here. She is about 70 years old. She still beautiful. Did she give you that tingle when you saw her? No, I asked her, but she would. I do not do it. I always feel a little uncomfortable with the idea that what I'm doing here is an interview. I mean, clearly no is no, no, it's what happens when you go out and you're wondering what we're going to talk about and it's like no sex, yeah, yeah, sex and rap, sex and rafting, yeah, that's the