UNHhhh Ep 69: "Reunions" with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova

right, oh my god, I just had the strangest dream that we were on hiatus from the show for months. Have you ever liked it when a pet ran away and discovered it or something? I had a lizard that I burned in this case, there will be nothing. See you at the grave from now on I'm not a girl, you'll go to hell and that lizard will be there charred as if it trusted you. It will move towards me. Hey, oh, he was already dead. He was already dead. How did you do it? burn it and a son, how did you burn it? illusions what do you think I will concentrate on?

So what's the point of fun meetings? Oh, it's a meeting, so who would you like to meet? Probably with my dad dead somewhere on a beach, okay, we're back hello, I'm Grammy Award-winning artist Snoop Dogg Trixie Mattel and I'm a golden envelope full of hot, sweaty flesh, Katya, and welcome to the show where a more and more we talk about whatever we want because it's still ours So, and not yours, listen, the meetings come to us because you have an important relationship and then there is a breakup and then you move on, yes, it may be for legal reasons, the circle of life as if we died, it will happen, you will meet everyone who died, oh yes, and them.

I'm just waiting there, yeah, hey mom, hey Brittany Murphy, do you know what other kind of meetings there are? I'm not him for meetings in general because most of the time, if I haven't talked to you in a while, it's because I don't want it every time I meet someone I've slept with and then like to meet up with a friend. I will immediately announce the lie and that person is following it now. Oh, this is my friend Stu, we went to college together. lies and suddenly the person says oh really what you study and then it just snowballs creating a creative scenario honestly any narrative I make up is going to be more interesting than a sordid story of me and stew hitting our hot dogs together, hit your hot moment. know gay sex like you greet your high school reunion.

I was supposed to go to All-Stars, but I was going. I was going to be like a helicopter and knock down the doors of the 30 people with the dice I made. and meeting everyone's kids I feel like hello hello hello oh you have twins I'm famous have a good day and then you punch him in the throat and instead I was going to send an eight by ten with champagne I could do it like this a big flower arrangement I got a funeral with the photo inside like I was dead yeah oh did you get Aries Chloe Union oh I went to the parking lot?

Well, traveling was difficult back then for three weeks of wagon travel, how do you know your location? like in class, yes, high, but not like velvet or something. I was 15 out of a hundred and sixty, really, yeah, really smart, no, okay, were you likely to be something? No, I think he was most likely I don't think he was most musically talented and I think he was most likely famous, actually, yeah, I guess most likely when you see high school kids who have children, do you feel pressured as if I am not, no one knows? I felt that pressure to smother your children, okay?

It's not that your kids in high school like you, my kids, um no, I'm not going to like kids as much as I like doing this. I'm going to be mad, you know, I always fix your gays so people stay like you. You have that child, what are you doing? Are you doing something bad? Does that still happen? Yes, why do you keep doing that? I thought it would be fun for a year. I treat my friends who are parents as if I treat them like I treat them. you're in better relationships, like you need to get out of there, you know you deserve better than this, take your CDs and go, do you think people with kids don't you think they look at us, for example, and say, oh my god, they just put? with wigs and going to restaurants and drinking, yeah, they don't know we're rich.

I would love to go to the meeting because I have something to show. What do you have almost successful at home? Oh, yes, yes, that would have been equal parts. I would die to be a gay friend. I would be a side he would flirt with. Did you hear that I'm sure I'm not? But I would also say yes and that he has a money printing machine named Tracy. I would have appeared with that as the most. annoying as a summary of how here are all the posts I've been to, just bring copies of my album, like he said, if a book could be right next to the bar, but I bet you try it and I think it would be like that big.

Splash and no one remembers my name, yes you know I would, but I have to tell you this. I always said that if I went to my meeting, I would have to try to suck some of that. I didn't have that good, that's what I want. doing is not going to work hey, I don't know, yeah, I don't know how drunk you are and I don't know, but I need to tell you that I fantasized if I knew I was gay because you were in a class with me. Yeah, let's see if we can get it hard, come on, and if your wife cares and I want to pop the white head on the tip of your between my incisors, yeah, I just want to suck it like I'm going to the meeting. cool, cool, I'd pretend I invented a sport, but it's not out yet.

I would choose a lie as insurmountable and false as, oh, that's your son. Great, I wrote the Harry Potter book. I would go big. I'm also the CEO of Amazon, so what have you done? I'd be like, "Oh, I'm James Corden." He would wear a pair of fake Hollywood prosthetics disguised as if he were one of the waiters on the cover of the events and it would be like serving dinner. scrolls I feel like I thought you were talking about Brian Fergus, what did you think of him? So as soon as someone was like that, that guy was a little weird, he would say God, yes, but you had too much adhesive, a noticeable real face, yes. yeah it's blood, I probably also wear a sneaker with lights and a tampon in your it's not blood it's just wet with water and they take it out and riggan, you know when you have diarrhea but you don't have access?

Yeah, I mean, who? It's got running water in Los Angeles, okay, and this drought, honey, if I go to my meeting I'll be like I just turned 40 and then the bed's gone three times, that's all you need, yeah, you got it anyway, it probably would have had drama, to be honest, yeah. everyone gets drunk it's a wednesday a reunion yes, it's always on wednesdays high school

reunions

ours on saturdays it's not okay, it doesn't matter, it's always the night before things to give are annual for you i think i'm confused, are you? Alright? your people you'd have sex with since high school, yeah, hands drooping, dead, yeah, they're getting older, even though I always forgot how old I am, yeah, I never forget, wait, you're actually about to have your reunion 20 years, I guess The bottom line is that if you go to a meeting, make sure that when they meet you they leave like, not that they're impressive, but that they feel like you really like who they turned out to be, oh yeah, you know, yeah, If you have a big family that you created with your body and genitals, be like that, I am this, I created lives.

I love the idea of ​​going to a meeting and having your mantra be a focus, stealing a new bar, a newborn, that's the way to focus, yeah. I had a reunion where their class presidents were welcomed to the median ten-year class of 2011 work or I'm better off during the high school reunion presidential address. I want to sneak into the supper club, yeah, in my Prius rental, no, you know what's better than a bolt, a Chevy bolt, yeah, the electric one, okay, and I'd get out of my car with the charger holder like in the middle of dinner, I would say: Can I think like Danny, there's the plastic? bag of meat I don't want it no one wants this meat I gotta go to my Iranian I wanted to get close like hey they used to call me gay number one you're right yeah number two I monetize it yeah yeah I would have been like laughing now yeah, probably no one, yeah, Halloween, are you clapping?

Turn on the lights, oh, sure, oh, thank you, thank you, I'm very talented, well, it's Halloween and that doesn't happen every year, except that I have absolutely sinned. Oh, as always, we look very scary. I think last year we were Romeo Michelle, the year before that we were a witch in a ball. 4-headed person, there you go, fortune teller, fortune teller, that episode was the birth of our vampire. I am a mountain biker. the future yeah fake mom which is cool having teenagers yell at you at the mall.