UNHhhh ep 159 - Theater

yeah, look, how is this different? Well, let me see the other one, I'll tell you if they're different. The nipple is out smuggling raisins. I can't believe you work with me every day and I look like this and you haven't arrived. I'm not for lack of trying not for lack of trying me about weird ladies with big tits oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god what happened are the cameras rolling yeah oh no you got like the skin got stuck the zipper caught this yes He zipped my Adam's apple, no ma'am, he just got a right when it hurt too.

Hello, I'm the ninja of the south, I play katana, hot tin roof, trixie mattel and I was the sleeper hit star, the fiddler on the roof, leaning towards the center. the roof oh katya and welcome to the show where we talk about whatever we're live because it's our showdown encore to the

theater

all the right places thank you five girl thank you bye thank you bye you need to calm down dreaming about it oh god I'm not involved in

theater

anymore no, except for the fact that I perform in theaters for a living, that's different, yes, in the theater of the absurd, yes, where do we start with theater?

How do we have this? Well here we go, first of all, life is a play everyone has a role what is what is what is shakespeare what is that quote life is a play and everyone has back rolls everyone is the stage everyone has a background I mean listen my theater experience is a little bit on the fringes like off-Broadway and off-the-rails theater, yeah, have you ever been to those no, you've never been to sleep, no more, that lets me see, this sounds like another call, no, no, no, no, so it's like immersive theater and they set it up. all these paintings I walked into this room all dark except the deer carcass in the corner you never liked it evil okay I hate that, oh I hate musicals I hate it you hate music here I come I'm walking on the side of the stage you have a bad guy oh god just say it just say it what day slime shines I feel great in defensive musical theater and by the way I went up well I liked music right I like to use that I'll take you back I like music Okay, I'm 18 .

I go to music school and then I go. Musical theater sounds like fun, it's like singing and then comedy, that sounds like fun. Behold, when I get that degree, I know. I don't want to do musical theater but I'm stuck in it I'm stuck in this I'll say this learn to move my body learn to act learn to sing it hasn't happened yet look look where it took me not me I mean, I think I'm going to like it here, yeah , pop squish, well there wasn't a green basement option at my university. You were doing what you set out to do with your college degree and you were being paid handsomely for it.

It's beautiful, I mean, exciting. I could buy my university, no, you couldn't, no, I couldn't, no, you know what I could do, although I could give an incredible amount of money and demand a bench or something, a bench or a nice awning, yeah, or a Vending machine. machine where everything is free that would be cool or like a vending machine where everything was 25 oh maybe that's my contribution there's a vending machine that you pay me to use it's really a business it's really a business um you know what I don't like? What happens when people make movies and it's a very transparent ploy to get an Oscar oh yeah, Oscar bait, awesome mom, I think it's cheap and lousy, just go make a movie and do a good job and I'll decide if you get an Oscar?

Plus, by the time that movie is in the running for an award, you'll have moved on, you should've moved on, you should've moved on, you should've moved on, like 18 months of your fake shock, do you understand the words, give me a break ? you mean you mean you like it you waited wait a second it's too long yeah like she was discovered yesterday you're nominated there's a chance you can win get ready for the speech like I have to go and write it for you and don't you thank God don't you thank God God? I can thank God and you don't name someone I don't know because he guesses what I love.

I just didn't repair anything. First person means steven steve steve bob bob and ross like they're like oh oh my god wow I'm kind of excited I did it but I never thought it was I don't know what you know what I would do you're a world class actor tony goes with trixie Mattel, I'd go, I just said I wasn't ready, I just wanted to say, sure, look right at the camera and let it out and they wouldn't have time to cut and it'll be like Sally Field talking about if women ran. There would be no wars in the world and they tried to cut it off, but I was going and they couldn't catch me and I'll be on TV, oh my God, okay, so give me a Tony and I'll do it.

When I'm famous enough to have paparazzi, they'll be like me leaving the 7-eleven, the big trixie, how do you feel about season 6 onwards and you'll say you're right? Every paparazzi photo will be me like this, like now. uh, and please welcome to the stage the nobel peace prize winner, miss trixie mattel, yes, inside the actress, it will be me and daniel dave lewis and he will go, so when you were voicing shrek six, Puss and boots, pussy back, how did you do it? I know how to take your character, let me go okay, thanks for asking what I did.

You're right, you'll never be able to stop me. No, let me say this. I have to tell you about some of my theater teachers. You have Stanislavski and everything? those things, yeah, okay, tell me, I'll tell you about my senior teachers, uh, theater acting teachers are what you think they would be, she would wear a long, stretchy, all-black, tight-fitting scarf, she would walk into class at least 10 minutes late. Every day the door would open and she wouldn't look at any of us and she would say why isn't there anyone rehearsing and she would sit down and go there and open her book and then she would sit there and we would all be behind her. and she would say who goes first, I love it, like she came from a Hollywood movie shoot, yeah, and you have 45 minutes to do your little peanut butter play of your good man Charlie Brown, yeah, the class is self-paced , I think You would be good in many different types of plays in the future as a disgusting old creep in a dry outer drag in a drag without creepy outer drag yes, without feeling trite derivative girl in the front row you should be moved to the back row and girl in the back row you should die the lead actress will be played by a jar of peanut butter yeah dance theater do you know about dance theater so a dance recital?

No, no, no, like dance theater, it's called dance theater, I understand what you're saying. I can't hear you, I don't know what you're saying, so it's not quite dance, it's dance theater, oh, so it's theater, but dance, yeah, exactly, are you talking about moving? No, maybe I don't know. It's um, I'm talking about German dance theater in particular, okay, so just say that, but if there's a lot of dancing but it's very theatrical, are you trolling me? You're just saying the words dance theater in new formations and you're not giving me anything new. information is dance theater so it is theater with dance and they are dancing but as theatrical it is theatrical dance yes, I have mentioned that theater is very danceable no, I love all dance except uh lyrical, what is lyrical?

Do you want me to prove it to you, yes, thank you for attending tonight's performance of the American What's Lyrical American Lyrical Dance Theater featuring the talents of Receiver Ammunition No, it's kind of like the jugs are usually that big oh, it's usually like yeah, it's very like it's very um like uh melodramatic um stupid and horrible in a lot of cases like oh that's really cool, that was a really good show, if you want to see us, we have a very exciting show called Trixie and Katya Live, a 90-minute theatrical experience touring the United States, oh my goodness, speaking of theater, that is.

It's true, we are literally about to embark on a real large-scale theatrical event, yeah, I mean, when I think about how we have to learn all the songs, all the songs, dancing, choreography, uh, lines, stage directions, uh , wardrobe changes, quick changes, um, sex changes, all of this. things, it's going to be crazy, yeah, it's going to be crazy, but you know what, although in six and seven shows we'll be on autopilot wanting to kill ourselves, oh, that's when we put the thumbtacks in our shoes just to feel something, there That's when I started to be a showgirl.

Me with girls just to drown Yes, come see our play Trixie and Katya live Real lines Real action Real scenes Real sets and real dancers' costumes Costume changes Yes Plot points Videos Initial audience I have an idea for that, by the way , OK? I know I think the most stressful job would be a dresser, a dresser backstage. Can you imagine Bernadette Peters? The zipper is stuck and she throws you to the ground. Well, don't come back, yeah, get, yeah, that's stressful, have you ever had that? what's wrong with you oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh uh a woman just attacked Peter uh she cut my throat you know they also say that television makes you famous movies make you rich theater makes you good, yeah , I think that as probably real artists aspire to at least do well in theater, that's what prestige is for the um, the credibility of the acting, uh, people from Hollywood go to Broadway, this is what I want for We, okay, I want to jump to Broadway, I want us. so I can do a residency in Vegas and I want us to be able to do the West End before I die, okay, how about Jordan?

We'll do uh shakespeare in the park two weekends in the method, I'll tell you. What will we attend the Utah Shakespeare Festival? We will buy tickets. We're not actually going, but I'll buy. How about we do a cabaret version called Taxi Ray? I would like to see it. You know, my version. uh cabernet and I'm just drunk applause oh that's good that's good what if what if what if we make fun of our show trixie and katya live and then people come to see it and it's plagiarized word for word with a bit to catch a stone, uh right? catch a mocking writer kill your heart kill a bird catcher on the trip there's a queen in chicago named tequila nightingale oh that's good once i saw her fall off the stage through a table yeah but you didn't catch her on the trip oh No, we just looked at me, I think Kim and I looked at each other and we were like, oh, okay, I think Kim said, oh my god, that's it, yeah, that's all the help for Kim.