UNHhhh Ep. 151 - Superheroes & Villains

Boner City Boner City What's that all about? Oh, that's just the skin. Today I was a new podcast. Sarah Silverman's podcast and someone called and said I'm in this weird place where I don't want to live but I don't want to die. mom that's the middleware I said you should be a drag queen play the music also welcome 90 of the entire human population god this is ladybunny I think when the bunny dies it's only logical that I put myself in his coffin if the bunny dies. I'm their stunt double who's dying and you're replacing them um uh lorena herrera I was going to say nicole paige brooks okay are you talking about the girl who interrupts the guy who is lorena bobbitt?

No, understand your Lorena, Lorena Herrera is Mexican now. You're thinking about La Roma, that's what you're thinking about, which is different, Trixie Mattel, Bone Docker, but it's dark upstairs. Now I'm fighting the darkness. Can someone accompany me? Welcome to the program where we talk about anything. We want because it's you and not yours I'm a fool from France I want to talk to you without demons or angles demons and angles heroes and

villains

I love everything who are modern

villains

well, we're talking about comics, we're talking about movies We're talking about myths, We're talking about Greek sandwiches, I think we're talking about all the TV news anchors, we're talking about the real world, who's your hero, God, God, oh, you know a lot of gay people, I know trans people, I know they love to Wonder Woman? she is naturally wonderful linda carter no i mean wonder woman like mythology like superman yes she is from a super race of warriors of violence so she wasn't bitten by a spider no no she is who she is oh, looks the same as how superman is yeah he simplifies it yeah while batman gets batman increases any power just rich he's rich and resentful what about mary i mean the irony is batman really wants to be effective he would just change public education. system in Gotham and everything would be fine I love the x-men what I like about this is like what is it? it's the story of the monsters of the world that persecute people for who they are yeah I can't identify the content especially since it's supposed to be like a gene like gays are it's literally gay it's like a gay metaphor I wish it was I almost said I wish I was gay I wish I was gay Do you wish you couldn't be gay for a day like my X-Men power does? you like superhero porn, yes I do, didn't we have a friend who was into superhero porn?

I think it was me, no wait, a friend or manila or something like a superhero, oh manila, she was the good break up between men. one men.com I have it saved on my computer she looks fantastic, that's nice, she asked me to act like a Russian spy and I flat out said no, because she would kill my own erection and that would make me sad, so typically traditionally. as an outsider as a person who identifies on the fringes of society, yes I know it's hard to believe, yes I'm usually more inclined to relate to the villain, especially because, well, they usually wear cooler outfits, the sleeping beauty and the evil girl, she just sleeps, that's her, that's what she really likes, I heard, I mean, she sleeps and the guy has blonde hair, the other one has some crazy things and he's really scary, that's much more interesting to me, plus she's not even really a villain, she's a scorned woman, come into this you think she's not a villain, I know she's not, didn't you see the Angelina Jolie movie?

Well, villain, villainy is all point of view, right, it's all in the editing, yeah, look at the bad guys, yeah, look at our relationship, most people think I'm I'm the hero, but actually I'm the villain. That's not even funny. Oh, I know it's not. I don't even want to joke about Bunny. How true is it? Do you know what would happen if she disappeared for a year? In reality, there is no day, two people. be like wow that's really up to her wow wait wait so i have poison mom did you see the movie with tom hardy?

It's a spiderman movie no, it's just poison oh no, I've never seen it oh, who is tom hardy really? he's the Englishman I would do it with I have the most legal sex in the world let's look at it Edward Party maybe it's basically movies he's not Bane but of course he's wearing a mask that's Bane yeah he looks a lot bigger than Bane I guess movies, movies, uh, apple boxes, yeah, my name. That's bad, that's it, that's good, that's a good personification, yeah, my gay bean, yeah, mom, tear down the house for the gods, a gay bane, that's a huge bane, well, how about a cat woman where you're not necessarily good or bad, you're just yourself? -Interested, I recently tried to watch Halle Berry's Catwoman, well Sharon Stone, you want to talk about villains like Sharon Stone's character is scary, that's not a villain, a woman in a white pantsuit, she looks like you punching Jamie Lee Curtis in the face, that's what it looked like the movie is so terribly bad michelle pfeiffer went to the premiere saw it and got up and was yes, that's what I thought yes, I would have walked it I would have drunk that babysitter on fire michelle pfeiffer you wanna talk about villains yeah no one wanna be batman that's why they wanna be catwoman yeah she's so hot i know she is so that pink apartment hell here hell yeah spray paint on the dollhouse, yeah, that's you after a dragon on a bender, me on a Jack Daniel's bender after driving. urinating on the product that didn't sell no one bought it no one will understand it serious question what kind of animal is licking you back to life oh god I mean cats she seemed to have gotten a lot of good powers from that yeah but nine . live nine lives, but think about what you get from beavers, I think I would do otters and then, you know, otters sleep on their backs holding hands, I'm sure their eyes are closed, but honestly, what I want to say is not to bite Spiderman. or anything, an insect seems to be better, right, larvae, sure, yeah, I want to get bitten by larvae and I just want to be like I'm going to get you.

I just have to move there first if you and I am an angeti. licked by tiny babies, oh, or a bird, some kind of bird, bird man, not like a parrot, like something exotic or hair on fire, you can't take me flamingo, you'd be the faggiest flamingo man, yeah, I don't have any . It would be like it was time to use my special power. They'd say, "That's it. I'd say, Look, I'd say, Did you know I'm pink because I eat crayfish or whatever? Don't they turn pink?" shrimp shrimp strawberries shrimp scrambled scrumps smells um good, I'm asking you what kind of animal you would like to lick you back to life.

I know it's cheating. I know it's cheating. A fire hydrant. I just want to spread so much that I would just do it. it could clear up like you're here mom you're in the grand canyon pump and pump in my leg and I can cover it up so I can cover it up you can control it and you don't get dehydrated it's never okay that's well done. of water pressurized water if you could have a power what is the power would be absolutely fine so fine are the three the three main telekinesis telepathy or didn't I say three powers no, I'm asking you to choose, I'm pulling it back on you, volleyball, yes, volleyball is about throwing balls at each other, no, no, no, you hit it, oh, we'll see that too and throw.

We know as much about

superheroes

as we do about sports. I know, but I learned something about sports. to blow your mind and you know how we do it, you know, super um, athletes,

superheroes

, basically like Serena Williams, Sam Wheat, I think he's kind of a superhero, he's kind of like yeah, so a ghost brings him back to life and then you get your phantom sex dream. also finally i want jeremy scott to lick me back to life jeremy scott the designer yeah and then i'm just chic i have no powers but i'm so stupid i'm the head of the curve what if i get licked look? back to life for bunnies and then i'm ladybunny rupaul licked back to life scorpio score absolutely you know I once gave her a black scorpion on a paperweight and she looked at me like I was a freak I'm sure it was that.

I'm sure that was it, you didn't mention the part where you, uh, I was bleeding too, I had no pants on, it was a red brick wall and you were painted exactly like you did as camouflage, oh, I mean, that it would be a fun power like a mystical power to turn into anything that's what I mean make dating and dragging a lot easier hello hello hello thank you thank you thank you save time half an hour no, uh shapeshifting is absolutely my superpower that I would like Now we wouldn't love to do anything more than simply answer some of your wonderful deep questions that you have submitted online via the hashtag wow help me that world of wonders listen to me enemies with benefits I should do it mom bring the house down Oh.

Hey, why don't you like someone? Don't know. I don't think it's a good idea. I guess. Oh, I'm only going to say this if you love the person you don't hate that much. I guess this applies to an ex that you have a lot of resentment for but are still super sexually attracted to. I guess I mean, I guess you don't like him, you're not your boss from the gap, oh, he's in your gap, hello. Oh my god, oh my god, he's so hot, I don't believe what's wrong with my gap, oh my god, it's such a big gap.

The gap is so united, it's all tight, we're like the MCU, we're like the Marvel universe down here. Yes, that's fine, and if you have any questions, you can tweet us at worldofwonder using the hashtag wowhelme and we will be happy to answer that question. Contact us. We are available and would like to respond. some of your questions: would you ever be in a superhero movie? I would love to be in The Avengers or any Marvel movie. If you know? I cry at every Marvel movie I watch, regardless of whether it's good or not. Do you know about the Captain?

Wonder woman literally the only thing she has is she's so powerful the only flaw she has is she's busy like they can't get her in time to save the world she larson yeah exactly I saw that movie I did I thought. She was a lesbian, yeah she's a lesbian, listen do you think I look like Brie Larson? I say you look exactly like a wheel of love Brie, Brie Larson, thank you, what's that, baked rubble, do you like it, oh do you like cheese, you're from Wisconsin, yeah, yeah. It smells like a foot, put it in your mouth, oh no girl, this is the power that teleports to get to the doors, to the track, but think about yourself and your impatience, you would be unbearable, you don't know how it would appear in the set. for this I go 20 minutes, you have 20 minutes, say my thing, you would wait until I have to understand it, yeah, you would be like Pete, let me know at the last possible moment, you would show up in the chair and then you would be out. from here where would you go while I was playing with my wig and my little jewelry I'm going to your house trying on a bunch of your clothes having sex with that corpse in your bed okay I just want you to know what it's like to be with someone young and strong.

I think I'm getting younger and stronger as I get older and looser. That makes a lot of sense. I just put something together in my mind, but you have martial arts training, yes, you have fantastic outfits, you could patrol the streets. At night you could be helping people. I don't want to do that, although I can't even wash myself. How am I supposed to quickly change into a really spotless suit that doesn't have any stains on it and then go fight crime? I'd have to be in trouble, I'd be like a free Draekon t-shirt with a guacamole stain on it, I'd slip into sweats, and I'd probably want to shave half my face like I was going to save you so soon.

When I'm done with this cigarette, I could probably scare people, but that's it, yeah, hey, you don't want to do that and he trusts me.