UNHhhh Ep. 119: Gurl, You Gay

Is this the gay episode I've been training for my entire life? You know, I love that I like every tenth comment on this channel. It is always so. This is what mental illness looks like. This is mental illness. The thing hit. That's the worst. he says that's what mental illness looks like and I'm about to disagree and then I'm like, well look, that's going to be sexy even though it's sexy sexy energy gay energy I survived Vulcan's death grip Trixie Mattel and I was a girl in falsetto Katya and it's not yours, oh my god, gay, gay, gay, I can't, we've taken a hundred episodes of lavalla to think about talking about being gay, being gay, I'm so distracted by how good I look now because gay, gay, I know this is what I love being gay, think about how cute you are as a kid if you were straight it would be horrible it's going to be horrible you would be so fair it would be so bad it would be so bad if every bar How good, you are rotten to the core and yet people are sick in my car, did you know I think they hate us so much?

Because? Because we are very grateful. You have so much of what they will never have. We are good at. all yes, we are smart, we make more money, yes, we are fine, we are better with women, better with women, yes, I think we are more pathetic, we have a more vibrant life, nightlife, yes, straight bars, what? Are you kidding me, yeah, the best you can do I have to look forward to what roll, maybe a few times, a few days a month, you can play a bocce ball, bocce ball, extreme people, for, yes, the straight guys They take the bocce ball and say, yes, no, no. this feels like a boob they do can you imagine if you weren't gay what your straight self would be like like you know you met another straight youniverse you he's like you easy Joe I'll be in jail for why heroin because I think he's gay?

It's very Gabe, it speeds up, it's not too restricted to heroin, it sees Alabama in the baby book, happy, happy, we have to keep that deep energy. It's like all the memes about gays walking fast. Yes, my God, you know my gays walk fast. in our heads it's okay by Irene by superstar where are you from how are you doing we all sing womanizer all day in our heads what made you gay what did you choose to be gay I remember sitting down one day and saying I think I'm going to have a terrible life. I am one day.

I was afraid to cross my legs when people left the room. I would cross my legs. I know it's so sad. I just wanted to cry. I love that you say GOODBYE MOM, goodbye dad. I can tell you? Can I show you how awesome it is to be gay? Surely there is no sound or television - gay sound totally gay girls well gay girls that's something else yeah well gay boys gay boys gay girls are a kind of superior race because there is nothing more punk rock and anti-patriarchy, they mean not just doing something not to do, man I like, I don't need, no man, I don't need it, no man, suck, yes, suck them, play with your teeth and do interesting things, solve problems and be happy, I mean, I collect Barbie , that's a pretty sight, you're so fucking hot, let me tell you about yourself, hi, you're gay, so sweet, you were the game, he's the leaf I've ever known in my life, so gay, so gay, so completely. clearly gay game did you know that I always describe myself as maybe nothing is a person who acts no no no no no I'm not talking about that I'm not talking about acting like I'm not like but not my accessories and my lifestyle that are the things to like and do and say yes couldn't ego couldn't be guided musical theater BFA and then I went to beauty school and then I did drag racing and then you walk out of the condo and she's the only thing that would make you gay if you had a bucket of that type that fell I didn't open the door you have to come sometime yes, the renovation maybe new me, you mean if she maybe something good when you're surrounded by straight people and you say things like the work plan for that day they're like you're working now yeah when I talk to straight people are we talking more like goose yeah yeah we're like super hello Brian yeah yeah I go really deep and they're like are you even talking?

Like when I think of a straight man, I think of a dirty one. I remember reading this on Reddit. The straight woman was saying that my husband doesn't really clean himself well because he said that he is gay to touch her butt. How can I bring him a wife? it's like straight people in comedy to straight people in comedy ah, straight comedians uh they just show up in t-shirts and jeans and talk about my three daughters, yeah, and just this the other night I got real on all my tits, I'll say people We gay people talk to each other in a way that straight people would find shocking that we've earned it.

I think I love your ax you move you mean straight people would say why you lie like hey I love your butt so who does it? You love your acts when Billy when we call someone it's a term of endearment yeah hey girl I also love it when I accidentally call a straight person girl or I like her how about her and it's a straight guy like she's going through that oh my brother? She's yeah, well I was at a dinner the other night and I realized I'm not as gay as I thought, it was really good, yeah, because I looked around and I realized I'm the only one at the table who No.

They don't have all the furniture in their ass. I know my butt leaks when you go to bed and wake up on the floor. I swear, I really have that money. Well, the only brush that goes away is the idea of ​​a bed coming up for me. ass a bed out of my ass poster Canada bet with a frame in his box I've never tried to hit bottom and then he says he's having a hard time getting it in you say oh there's a box spring up there there's a box spring it's it's It's funny to me because it's very out of reality, yes, because you are mother, I'm telling you, Mary, I'm telling you, please listen to me, they shove the furniture up their asses as if it were okay, this is child's play, this is nothing , a frozen popsicle. stick, this is intermediate, people do this, yes, they do, yes, okay, not really, it's their ass with Nick Cannon, they are, they really are those, yes, what's up with the street people in gay porn?

I love it when straight guys burp like, yeah, never. I've done ones that I love and don't even like, like spiked blonde tips, a puka shell necklace, anyway, that's the good thing there, it's so fun that I look to see what it is, there are methodical things and very committed ones that the boy was good at. the guy Barry seemed very straight and then the gay guy was trying to like hey relax he's not gay and it was too late he was just taking forever right very realistic yeah all of a sudden like they were kissing and then the straight guys asked to come over. hit I've never done this they had a tattoo this is dumb like they're not even trying like they're not even trying to act can we get something from us like a Stanislavski like get some aspect of Buddha Hoggin you know? some theater classes some improv some yes and yes and some man can get up my ass yes, I think I remember my first gay kiss and I remember it was probably 15 and it felt very affirming.

I think so, I knew what it felt like. Like being gay becomes real I'll kick you so much I swear I peed myself I'm kissing They let me tell you about my penis for a moment Do you care Like I was the last one with girls and I was always trying to be liked? It just feels good, that's a red flag if you're having that, you're here at home and you're making out with someone and you're left with yourself. I wonder if this feels good going bad, but you know I would eat the key. because it has too many reins, yes, because it has acrylics.

Oh, although lesbians have the firecrackers, the firecrackers are too short, yeah, anyway, so I knew I was on the right track when I was making out with this guy named Adam and we were just doing it outside and I was like Falls from Niagara Frankie angel down there Niagara Falls, remember that was a little out? I remember being 18 and being like I was bisexual. People say: are you gay? And I would say yes, and every time. I said it, it was like I had to mentally force myself to get over an offense, oh really, so just say it out loud, are you gay, are you gay, right? because I was in college to do musical theater, no one cared that you were gay, right?

It would be like pulling the ottoman out of your butt. Yes, I even fell on the floor covered in slime. It would be in response to your question. Jennifer convertible is really good, but you know that any group has internal social problems, yes, and I think that homosexuals are still at their core, at their root, you still rise above the rest of my earnings, yes, there is a common enemy that It's security and we got a lot of street fans so we don't need them, don't feel sorry for straight girls or anyone, no straight guys out there I will, yeah, but everyone but you, yeah, I hate everyone else, yeah , you're great, I'll hang up the straight man.

Sorry, sorry, this look is a little oh, and if you are a straight man or a citizen who has a bit of a head for the most part and would love to have sex with me, comment below and if you want to ride this dog in the evening. If you want, write a comment below, copy and paste it into an email. Send it to your therapist. I find out what birthday affirmations hit you, what serums, what's the straightest thing you've ever done? I killed a boy, so straight, very straight, very straight. right