Trump Addresses the Nation on the Coronavirus Pandemic: A Closer Look

-Hello everyone. Welcome to Casual Thursday "Late Night." So, we were planning to do our show tonight and then on Monday we were going to start doing shows without an audience, but basically, things are moving very fast, I don't need to tell you that, and our guests, rightly so, decided They weren't feeling good about coming and doing the show tonight, so we decided to cancel it and we don't know when we'll start doing shows again. But we had written "A Closer Look" last night and "Closer Look" is about everything that's happening right now and, really, the reason we're doing this now is that once it's in the cards, Wally does We do that.

So, here's the "Closer Look" that was written last night about the president's address to the

nation

... And, yes. Go next, Wally. Sorry, I skipped you. ...and the administration's botched response to the

pandemic

and we thought we should go ahead and do it, so to learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." So we're in this strange moment, where it's hard for the media and public health experts to convey the severity of what's happening without sounding hysterical. It's like being the only person in a horror movie who knows they're in a horror movie. Like all sexy teenagers, they say, "Guys, I have an idea.

Let's go skinny dipping in the pool during the full moon," and then there's a doctor in a lab coat standing there, yelling, "Statistically speaking, this is a werewolf". time!" Public health experts are warning us that we are failing badly and that these are the people we should listen to. For example, today one said "the lack of testing in the United States is a debacle," and another said: "This is an absolute disaster that the administration has brought upon the population," and on top of that, things just feel very surreal and strange right now An example: if you tuned in a few minutes earlier to watch the president's speech to.

nation

at 9:00 p.m. last night and you chose to watch it on Fox, you would have caught the end of "The Masked Singer," In which case, this is what you would have seen moments before the president addressed a worried nation from the Oval Office -♪ I like big butts and I can't lie ♪ ♪ You other brothers can't deny it ♪ ♪ When a girl walks in with a tiny waist ♪ ♪ And a round thing on your face ♪ ♪ You get jumped on ♪ - Yes!

Yes, we are liberated. That's Sarah Palin singing "Baby Got Back." That was so depressing that Sir Mix-a-Lot immediately wrote a sequel called "Baby Got Prozac." Also, if we're encouraging people to avoid large crowds, I'm not sure it's the right message to promote a song by someone called Mix-a-Lot. In any case, Cardi B should be careful and, if she feels bad, stay home like an Outkast. And by the way, I should let you know that we also have a full audience tonight. The strangest thing about that clip was that the president immediately gave the speech of him as the Frog.

So, that's what you saw, if you tuned in to the speech early, but if you watched it on C-SPAN and stayed until the end, you may have seen an equally strange moment where C-SPAN forgot to turn off the broadcast . and we got a rare glimpse of the president after he finished his speech. Now, during the speech, you could see how hard Trump was trying to read the teleprompter and adopt a somber tone. I mean,

look

. He

look

s like a long-haul trucker who blasts the radio and slaps himself in the face to stay awake. If you ran into your teenager and his friends in the basement and his eyes looked like that, you'd immediately say, "Okay, who brought the doobies?" Because you would be an older generation.

You should be surrounded by a cloud of marijuana smoke. Then Trump's face froze in this strange, forced grimace in a desperate attempt to project strength amid his hectic response to the

pandemic

. But then, after he finished the speech, C-SPAN forgot to cut the broadcast and this happened. -We are clear. -Well. Okay... -Oh, man! He reacted to his speech the same way the rest of us react. "Okay...! That was strange." It's as if FDR said, "Yesterday, December 7, a day that will live in infamy, the United States was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

So that just happened." Also, it's very strange to see a rare glimpse of Trump dropping the pretense of being a competent person. When he tries to act like a president, he screws up his face and squints and then, when he thinks the cameras are off, he's like a grandpa unbuckling his belt after a big meal. Well! Oh! That Sizzler buffet didn't know what was coming. The relief on Trump's face was palpable, probably because he struggled, as usual, to squint during a teleprompter-prepared speech without making a mistake, yet repeatedly failed. Right off the bat, for example, he had trouble reading the word "continue" and, in his usual style, he tried to pretend that his mistake was actually correct. -I'm sure that by counting and continuing to take these harsh measures... -I'm starting to think that the president could be a runaway and an idiot.

You cannot start a sentence with the words "I am confident", if you are not even sure, you can complete the sentence without making a mistake. Seriously, dude, he just wears glasses. I know you don't want to sound like an intellectual, but don't worry. No one will think you're smart. This is a case where glasses fool no one. No one will look at you with glasses and think, "Wow! Who is that man of letters?" You should wear something age-appropriate, like those old man glasses Jerry's dad wore on "Seinfeld"; or glasses with a chain around your neck, as if you were playing Mahjong.

Although I would never expect you to learn how to play Mahjong. I'm confused. Is that your jong or my jong? Now look, if you're at home with someone right now and you give them a high five because of how good their joke was, wash your hands. So that didn't inspire confidence, but worse than that was the fact that Trump said several things in his speech that turned out to be flatly incorrect. And I'm not just talking about the usual stuff, like the fact that he lies non-stop. I mean he got his own policies wrong, forcing the White House to issue several clarifications after the speech, walking back what Trump said. -We will suspend all travel from Europe to the United States for the next 30 days and these bans will not only apply to the enormous amount of trade and cargo, but to several other things, as we get approval. -He said there will be exceptions.

He didn't explain them in detail, but he talked about people who are properly examined will be exempt from it, and something about the burden. I'm not exactly... It wasn't clear. -In the last hour, the acting deputy secretary of Homeland Security posted a tweet saying that travel restrictions do not apply to US citizens or legal permanent residents or their families, making it difficult to see exactly how this will prevent the spread of the virus. virus. Additionally, the White House issued a clarification, saying that the president was wrong and that the ban also does not apply to cargo. -My God, this is a speech to the nation from the Oval Office and they are backtracking like a husband who accidentally called his wife's friend sexy. "No, honey, I think Janet is ugly.

She just meant that she doesn't have air conditioning." So Trump got the big announcement wrong in this speech, about the travel ban from Europe. That was the most important part. That would have been like Sarah Palin rapping, "I like flat butts." Can you imagine Donald Trump trying to spit bars like that? ♪ I like big boats ♪ ♪ And big butts ♪ Plus, public health experts tell us that the idea of ​​banning travel from Europe doesn't make sense. I mean, you know the virus is already here, right? As Trump spoke, there were already more than 1,200 cases in the United States, and that was with almost no one getting tested.

You do not know? Are you two weeks late on his DVR? I can't wait to catch up on "Bachelor." Peter's mother, Barb, seems like a very calm woman. Look, man, you can't build a wall. Someone told me it was a joke that made sense. Look, man, you can't build a wall to keep a virus out, unless you're willing to build 300 million walls around each and every American. Trump also called the pandemic a strange virus in his speech. It's all part of a racist playbook that Trump has picked up from the right-wing media, and it's no surprise since the speech was written by everyone's favorite horror movie lab assistant, Stephen Miller.

By the way, and by chance, she is a year younger than Katy Perry. Just one thing. That's just a reminder that racism is a terrible moisturizer. Regardless, Miller and his ilk in conservative media have been doing everything they can to portray the virus as strange and associate it specifically with China. -This is the most aggressive and comprehensive effort to confront a strange virus in modern history. -When it comes to this problem the country is facing with the Chinese corona-- -They have been working on this Chinese coronavuirus. -The Chinese

coronavirus

. -The Chinese

coronavirus

. -The Chinese coronavirus. -We call it the Chinese virus, or Wuhan virus. -You called it Wuhan virus. -And I haven't...

That's an accurate way to represent where it comes from. -We should probably call it the Wuhan virus, so they get all the credit. -The most encouraging things are actually happening in China, which started all this. -Your measures to contain it have really worked. -Although they started it and they still haven't apologized. -Oh, I'm sorry, Brian, are you waiting for an apology from China? Will that make you feel better? Do you want a Fudgie whale sent to you that says, "Sorry about the virus"? Here's some easy advice to follow during this pandemic: don't be racist. Also, don't be stupid.

If we're going to start changing the names of every bad thing to reflect the country where it started, then we should probably change the name of the KFC Double Down the American Heart Attack Sandwich. Not only is this racist, but it also won't stop the virus from spreading here because that's already happening. What we are seeing now is what experts call exponential growth. We saw it in Italy, where the entire country is on lockdown right now and experts say we are basically on the same trajectory as Italy, which is currently in the middle of a massive public health crisis and has resulted in almost everyone shutting down. the establishments. store in the country. -On January 31, Italy had two infected people.

Within a week, on February 6, that number had increased to three people. Two weeks later, there were up to 17 people. Three days later, on February 24, 219 people. Four days later, on February 28, 821 cases. Just over a week later, on March 6, 3,916 cases. Four days later, as of yesterday, there are 10,149 cases. That was yesterday. Today it has risen: 12,462 cases. -In the United States, four weeks ago, we had 15 cases. A little over a week ago, we had 100 cases. Today we have more than 1,200 cases. -The United States is, right now, following almost exactly the same trajectory, just a week behind. -Italy has blocked the entire country.

He stopped all commercial activity. Just a quote here: "Italy, on Wednesday, intensified the severity of its national lockdown, ordering a halt to 'almost all commercial activity,' apart from supermarkets and pharmacies." -Curse. Can you imagine that all the stores in the United States are empty? If you can't, imagine any CVS at 4:00 p.m. "Hello! Does anyone work here?" "Excuse me! You, in the CVS coat!" But lest you think Italians aren't making the best of the situation, think again. In fact, they offer us some valuable lessons on how to overcome the crisis and keep our spirits high at the same time.

Here's a video of a Roman man wearing a suit designed to keep people at least a meter away from him, to prevent the spread of disease. Amazing. He looks like he's playing Saturn in a school play. Forget Sarah Palin. That guy should be on "The Masked Singer." Before we sing, I have a question. Was the lady with the glasses going to be vice president? Okay...ah. In fact, the outbreak has already had a major impact on virtually every aspect of society, from sports to travel to Hollywood. -Movie stars are not immune to coronavirus. Actor Tom Hanks has revealed that he now has the virus, along with his wife, Rita Wilson. -The annual Coachella music festival in California has been postponed. -In Washington, the National Cathedral will be closed for at least two weeks. -California, Oregon and Washington state have banned gatherings of more than 250 people. -Here in New York City, the St.

Patrick's Day parade, which each year attracts millions of spectators, is canceled this year. -US Senator Maria Cantwell, who represents the state of Washington, has had a member of her staff test positive for the coronavirus. -The NBA announces that it will suspend its season until further notice, once thegames tonight. -Wow. The NBA suspends all games indefinitely. That's crazy. This is terrible news for NBA fans and every team except the Knicks. The defeat ends tonight! Now, we obviously wish the best to Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, and anyone who comes into contact with or is vulnerable to this pandemic, but last night on MSNBC, President Obama's former Ebola czar Ron Klain told Hanks' story .

It's especially telling because they were actually in Australia when they were tested. If they had been here instead, thanks to the testing debacle we are experiencing in the United States, they may not have been able to get tested at all. -The president spoke harshly about travel and, meanwhile, we were not preparing for the tests. We had a warning that this was going to happen, the kind of numbers that were coming, and we're still sitting here, talking about the evidence. Tom Hanks got tested because he was in Australia. If Tom Hanks were in New York, it would be almost impossible for him to get tested. -That's crazy.

Americans would be more likely to get tested if they flew to Australia, just as they would be more likely to be taken on a romantic adventure with a charismatic crocodile hunter in the outback. This is what Trump should have focused on in his speech: massively increasing testing, increasing the capacity of our healthcare system, and taking care of the millions of vulnerable Americans who are about to face personal and economic hardship due to this pandemic. Millions of people lack paid sick leave and health insurance, and layoffs and workplace closures could leave workers struggling to make ends meet.

We should give those people immediate and direct help. Instead, right now, the Trump administration is pressing ahead with a truly sadistic plan to kick 700,000 people off food stamps, just as a global pandemic sinks the world economy. -The president has a plan to take away food stamps from 700,000 people, low-income people. And they said, "Are you still planning to take away food stamps on April 1, when those are the same people who are going to lose their jobs?" And they say yes, they intend to take away their food stamps. - My friend, they are now kicking people off food stamps.

He's like a villain from a Charles Dickens novel. What is he going to do now? Take Tiny Tim's crutches away? I need you to stand up or I will fall on my face. Joking aside, he is a terrible person. Our government is failing enormously. I said, "Jokes aside." Our government is failing us greatly, at a time when the nation is looking for guidance, so it is now up to the media, public health officials, workplaces and individuals to take this seriously, be cautious and lead. Where is the president? flaw. And, every time Trump decides to lie or say something stupid, we all have to ignore it and say... - Okay... -This was "A Closer Look." ♪♪ So, like I said, everyone, we don't know when we'll be back.

We simply ask all of you to stay safe and healthy. Let's not panic and try to be there for everyone. We love you all. Thanks for watching.