The Power of Nonverbal Communication | Joe Navarro | TEDxManchester

Transcriber: Amanda Zhu Critic: Mirjana Čutura Non-verbal is everything that communicates but is not a word. This beautiful theater is communicating with us. How you feel tells us. The things you attach to yourself—a bag, a pen, a fancy car—all of these things are communicating. The way you look at others communicates. And throughout the day we communicate non-verbally. All day. You can observe your child while he sleeps and know if he is having a nightmare or if he is sleeping soundly. While you're sitting there - and now I'm starting to see some of you - you're giving information, even when I'm giving information.

You are evaluating me. If I can speak to you from an anthropological point of view, I am conveying information to you about myself, my beliefs, the things I value, even just who you are. Now that I can see you a little more clearly, how many of you did your parents dress today? Rise your hand. (laughs) Wow! (Laughter) Spouses, it's okay. Your spouses may dr... So you chose to dress the way you did, just as I chose to dress the way I did. They said, "Well, they're TED talks. You can dress down." I said, "You know, I was in the FBI for 25 years.

I don't know how else to dress." (Laughs) "It would be a big disappointment." It's like on television. They always wear suits, even when they walk through the swamp. (Laughs) It's true. I can't tell you how many crime scenes I've been through that ruined really cheap suits. (Laughs) But we look good! But we looked good. (Laughs) I guess humor is allowed. So all day long we are making decisions. We are making decisions. They are based on culture. They are based on peer pressure, personal preferences. And so the things that we use and that we attach to ourselves are transmitting: our bodies are transmitting information.

And the question I am often asked is: how authentic is it? How authentic is it? And as I was reflecting on this, I said, "You know what? What if we think about the

power

of non-verbal

communication

? But let's do it by busting the myths and connecting what you really value, what really is a value, when it comes to non-verbal." How many of you have had a bad handshake? (Laughs) Now, normally, of course, now that we have the coronavirus, I would have them turn around and shake hands, that's really bad. But I'm not going to do that.

I want you to just put your hand in front of you and pretend to give someone a bad handshake. Ready? Let's do it. (Laughs) Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it. Yes. Yes. Do you notice the funny faces you make? (Laughs) It's like I didn't ask you to make a funny face and you still did it. Why is that? Because you are human. And humans betray what we feel, what we think, what we desire, what we intend, what makes us anxious and what we fear. And we do it in real time. We don't have to wait 20 minutes; it happens now.

And our body language, in a way, is exquisite because there is an area of ​​the brain that is elegant. And it's elegant because it takes shortcuts; He does not think. If I bring a Bengal tiger here and walk it, no one sits and greets it. That's like, you know, "Eat me." No! Everyone freezes. And that is due to the limbic system. This rather primitive area of ​​the brain that reacts to the world doesn't have to think about the world. And everything that comes from the limbic brain is very authentic. You hear a loud noise and freeze.

Good? "What? What was that?" You get bad news or you see something on TV and you cover your mouth. (Gasps) "Why is that?" When the conquistadors arrived in the New World, they had no problem figuring out who had the authority. The same behaviors that had just left Queen Elizabeth's court were seen in the New World. Kings sat higher, dressed better and had an entourage. Okay, they didn't have their own TV show, but they were pretty close. So all of these behaviors are very authentic because the limbic system resides within the human brain; It is part of our paleocircuits.

And so when we see the wrinkled forehead on a three-week-old baby, we know that, in this little area called the glabella, something is wrong, there is a problem. When we see the bunny nose, of course, when you wrinkle your nose, yeah, we know what that means: "Ew, I don't like that," "Mm, I don't want that. I don't want that." " "Hey!" Okay? Did I just say that in public? (Laughter) When we squint, we concentrate, but we have worries. Oh, when the eyelids close, "You want me to do what?" And if things are really bad, (Laughter) "Do you want me to talk for 15 minutes?" (Laughter) This is the interesting thing.

Children who are born blind, when they hear things they don't like, they don't cover their ears, they cover their eyes. You've never seen this for millions of years. Smiles are important. And our lips start to disappear when we're stressed, right? Most politicians look like this. being accused, they look like this... (Laughs) dramatic lip tugs, jaw movements and neck covering. (Gasps) You've seen that: pearl clutching. They say, (Gasps) "There's that creep! Oh, he's gone." "He's back!" (Laughs) But did you know why? Big cats. We've seen big cats for so long, taking down their prey, that we immediately cover our necks.

How many Have any of you been told that you can detect deception by using non-verbal means? I'm here to clarify that. When you walk out of here today and say, "Well, I heard that guy Navarro, who did about 13,000 interviews at the FBI. He said there is no Pinocchio effect. There is no single behavior that indicates deception. None." And we shouldn't spread that. We shouldn't tell people that we can detect that they are lying from their behaviors. They may be anxious, they may be stressed, but not deluded. How many of you have been told that if you fold your arms , they're blocking people?

Have you heard that? There's a clinical term for that. (Laughs) Yeah, I said it. (Laughs) It's bullshit. comfortable. Yeah, where does this nonsense come from? You know, I often get asked a question: "So, Joe, you were a spy catcher. You use

nonverbal

words every day. What do you use them for?" To make sure people are comfortable. To make sure we are empathetic. The only way to be truly empathetic is to understand the

nonverbal

. Carl Sagan, the famous cosmologist, said, "Who are we? What are we?" If you think about it, it really takes a smart person to ask that question.

What are we in this universe? And he summed it up this way (and I think it's pretty exquisite): He said that all we are is The sum total of our influence on each other. That's all we are. It's not about how much you earn. It's not about how many cars you have. And the interesting thing is that the main way we influence each other. to others it is through non-verbal means. It is that nice handshake; it is that touch of the hand that communicates love in a way that words simply cannot. If you get out of here, you will have options.

You always have free agency. And one of the things you should think about is: How do I change my nonverbal expressions? How can I become that person of influence? What we really need in this world is to be more empathetic. And when I see this, it says it all. That's why we use non-verbal words: because they are

power

ful. Thank you. (Applause)