Taylor Tomlinson Stand-Up: Anti-Depressants, Settling Down | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

-Our next guest has a new

stand

-up special, "Look At You," streaming now on Netflix. Let's welcome the very funny Taylor Tomlinson. ♪♪ -Thank you very much! Oh Lord. It's so good to be here. It's been a tough couple of years. At one point I had bangs. Things got dark. I didn't want bangs. I just needed people to watch me and... By the way, it works. You post a selfie with bangs and everyone's like, "Fire emoji. Go away, girl!" Then they text you like, "Are you okay?" This is what I did. I got bangs and, two days later, I did mushrooms for the first time.

And as soon as I ate those mushrooms, I thought, "I should have made these first." I probably wouldn't have had these bangs if I'd forgiven myself, huh? But you know what? Having bangs feels exactly like taking mushrooms. The whole time you're looking at your friends like, "Do I look weird?" "You guys would tell me if I looked weird, right?" They say, "Don't tell him. He'll be scared." I finally found an antidepressant that works for me, which is great. Many of my friends scared me by getting on them. I had a lot of friends who were like, "I tried taking anti

depressants

.

I just didn't like how I felt on them. I didn't feel like myself on them." And now that I'm in them, I'm like, "Yeah, me neither. It's the best!" Good? And I feel myself. I feel like now someone is sitting on top of me and saying, "Shh! Stop talking. We're trying to help you. You'll ruin everything. Go to sleep. Choose a different adventure." When I was a child, I didn't know anti

depressants

were an option. When I was in high school, I thought, "Dad, I think I'm depressed," and he said, "You just need some protein. Have a tablespoon of peanut butter." Yes, there are plenty of conservative parents out there white-knuckled through life right now, clutching a jar of chunky Jif like it's the answer.

Just a buoy in the storm. Like, “It will pass!” The only mental health advice my dad gave me is that he was having panic attacks in high school and I didn't know what they were and I was like, "I don't know what to do when I feel like it." this. I don't know what to do. And he's like, "It's okay. All I can tell you is when you feel like this, get as far away from the people you care about as possible." "Until you feel different." That's the advice you give a werewolf. Like... "Just run into the woods until you're no longer a monster.

Don't let them see you change. They won't accept you for who you really are." I read something recently that said that if you had a difficult childhood, you should learn how to be a parent when you are an adult. So I've been trying to do that. I've been trying to be a father myself. But I feel like I got pregnant with me in high school and, uh... ...I wasn't ready for this responsibility. I'm not supposed to shake myself. I just discovered it. And now, every day, I wake up completely overwhelmed. It's like, "Okay. If I let you watch TikTok on my phone for 40 minutes, would you stop crying?" All my friends say, "Are you okay?" I say, "No, I think I have cramps.

I stayed up all night." Many of my friends are

settling

down. Some of them are just calming down, end of sentence. Do you have those couples in your lives? Yes. Yes, where one person in the couple is much more attractive and cooler than the other person in the couple? I like to call those couples chocolate covered raisins. Because they say, "Sure, you can put those two together... if you want." But every time you see them, you're like, "Chocolate, what are you doing? Like... You could have been with anyone. You could have been with caramel, you could have been with marshmallow, You could have been with peanut butter, which I heard cures depression..." "...and you want to be with a raisin forever?

No offense, you're great - but you belong in the oatmeal." Aren't you afraid every day that someone will come and suck your chocolate? I love making that joke because I like to feel that the couples in the audience get nervous. Like, "Am I chocolate or raisin?" "We're both chocolate, right, baby? We're chocolate covered in chocolate? We're like little Lindors in the foil, you know? I'm the creamy part and you're the shell 'cause you're so strong and if I leave, I'll be a mess? Thank you so much, "Tonight Show." I appreciate it ♪♪ -Oh my god! I didn't see the peanut butter callback coming!

Taylor Tomlinson! "Look At You" is streaming now on Netflix.