Talking to Strangers: Having a Meaningful Conversation | Georgie Nightingall | TEDxGoodenoughCollege

Then what do you do? When was the last time someone asked you that question? What was the

conversation

like in 2016? That's how most of my

conversation

s started. Networking events. Parties. Talks. Every time I met someone new. It wasn't like I didn't like my job. I actually really enjoyed being a project manager, but conversations about work felt incredibly lifeless, unsatisfying, and boring. People asked not because they cared, but because it was expected. When people ask you what you do, they ask to see your professional work mask and they don't. wondering about the other masks because you own the other colors the other expressions the masks that are in the closet rotting when you wear the same mask over and over again it becomes easy to think that you are that mask and it is more difficult to deviate from expectations because We want to be accepted, so let's wear masks that help us fit in.

I got bored, I was ordered to repeat my elevator speech or I was immersed in

having

the same meaningless conversation over and over again or I was immersed in small talk and felt frustrated, frustrated with being stereotyped and with a lack of connection in my conversations I was surrounded of people and yet I felt disconnected and alone because I am not just my job, I am not where I live, we are not our labels, we are so much more than this. I knew I craved a deep,

meaningful

conversation and I'm sure you've all experienced what these conversations feel like where we talk about the things that are important, that have meaning in your lives and where you feel connected to the other person as if you were. on the same wavelength and that could be sharing.

Interest values ​​beliefs or experiences and it is more than this, conversations are not just exchanges of thoughts and ideas, but an opportunity to transform, reshape and engage in new lines of thinking, as Theodore Zeldin rightly suggests. Conversations don't just rearrange cards, they create new cards when the last time you had a conversation that changed the way you see the world was a conversation in which you learned something new about yourself or about the other person and their perspective. about the world conversations have opened new doors for you in the world that you hadn't noticed before It may seem new, broader writer, so what's stopping us from being online?

We are globally connected and yet how connected do you feel to the people around you? We want to be more connected or better connected if it seems like we sometimes avoid

talking

to each other, maybe. we don't know how to make small talk, maybe it's because of programs or rules that suggest we shouldn't talk to

strangers

, these can be so subconscious that we might think there will be repercussions if we break them, shame, doubt, shame, these. Fears are often wishful thinking and there is so much more to be gained from

talking

to

strangers

- even if you engage in

meaningful

conversations with five or ten close friends and family, you are missing out on the other seven million people and the unique life experiences they represent. opportunities new ideas new perspectives can have the answer to important questions access to new people more potential all of this is untapped and we choose not to talk to strangers the most important thing in these moments of connections with strangers I discovered that I belong, I don't invisible, you are not invisible, we can belong anywhere and everywhere, not only with our friends and family but with humanity, we are part of a bigger family that hardly knows each other, so how do we know each other and have a meaningful conversation with the stranger is easier than you.

I think it's not rocket science, it's more of an art, so how is it done? Here are five tips you can learn and put into practice. Number one, whether the beacon or the beacon, means projecting an unwavering set of light and primarily consuming any constant emotional state. So that others are attracted to you Have you ever noticed how contagious genuine emotion can be, how contagious a smile is, and how warm and special it feels to receive eye contact? Likewise, if you are uncomfortable and in a bad mood, how do you think the other person is? Let's engender you how we are affects how others will be with us so ask yourself how I want to feel how I want the other person Phil set the intention and feel it first within yourself number two being curious becoming curious is the most important habit you will ever develop is a mindset that drives exploration and is the cleanest fuel there is because it is not contaminated with a specific agenda and this is what allows conversations to be organic, unfettered, free of assumptions and judgments, becoming curious is a two-way process.

Steps. process first you notice and then you wonder and wandering can lead to questions notice the red patterns Garf I love your scarf and I wonder where you got it from noticing the book someone is reading ah sapiens amazing book I've read What have you learned? We can also notice the environment. Now this restaurant seems to have forgotten its ceilings. I can see the pipes. Are we simply cutting costs or is it more modern art. The world is rich with interesting things to talk about by noticing and. wander and have a genuine desire to learn about the world, this may be an invitation for others to join you in your expiration and, in doing so, share a moment of real connection number three, shut up, how often, when we are Listening, are we really just? waiting for our moment to respond, you wouldn't run out of conversation mid-sentence, you'd go and plan your vacation or think we're going to dinner and yet we do this all the time in our heads when you're busy thinking about what you're going to do. say next, you will miss that moment and on the other hand, how frustrating is it not to be heard, we can see it in their eyes, people have abandoned the conversation, can't we listen deeply? the space for people to think and sometimes that means silence.

Many of us find the silence so unbearable that we have to fill it immediately. We maintain that silence a little longer and trust that beautiful things will come out of it. Most of us love to talk about things that Things so offer space and people can open up to you and before asking big questions, curiosity leads to wandering and wandering to questions, but some questions are more effective for delve into the core of who we are in each moment, no matter what is happening within it. It is an expression of the deeper patterns that happen in the rest of our lives How anything is done It is how everything is done When we notice these patterns we can ask questions that help make connections in people's minds and trigger moments of discovery and understanding questions are the tools to burn the fire of curiosity sharpen your tools ask questions that help connect the dots number five share your true self when the Pratt staff asked me how I am I tell them exactly how I feel at that moment and often It goes hand in hand with lines of seven and a half out of ten or lack of caffeine and needy or super excited because I'm on my way to a course and I can't wait to know, they are often surprised but also curious.

I have done three things. First I made them an offer to ask me about y-7, half out of ten I broke the manat of a small talk script and yes, I've been a little weird, but they engage with it because it's fun and real. and human, if you want others to show their true selves then put out a mask, if there is something more personal about you, you can invite them to share their thoughts and feelings and join you in a moment of authenticity, this is the power of reciprocity . I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

The conversation is organic when you present yourself as your authentic and sincere self, without defenses or agenda. The patios are down. People are real. Trust is built and connection is established. There is never the right time to start a conversation. with a stranger, certainly, but it's always too late, so give yourself permission to start an open conversation with the stranger, go first, make that opening statement, smile, brighten someone's day, these conversations help us belong, They help us open new doors in our minds. They help us grow and be better connected and if you want to experience, feel and be these things, now there is nothing stopping you from acting except maybe yourself, thank you.