Steve Treviño Relatable - Pt 1

Tomorrow I wake up with a big you for me and I tell him I tell him I tell him that I hate him but tonight you are there I respect my wife and her quirks I respect them she wants me to take out the trash I take it out even though I know that the only thing I have to to do is to push it down but mine are the Sometimes I beg my wife, honey, please, honey, it drives me crazy, can you just, honey? Could you please I'm begging you, I'm begging you and then the next morning there you are and I'm going to lose him, I'm going to lose them both, sure, my wife, okay, that came out of nowhere, skip all the toothpaste out of the way she'll just throw it away. away she doesn't pinch the corners you pinch the corners that's what I use every morning I have a corner peeling drawer that I use because I guess for my wife toothpaste is free I guess it's free I never thought, I never thought I would grow up become the boy in the corner.

I never thought that my dad was my dad was the boy in the corner and my sisters and I would sit on the couch and my dad would come one Saturday to whatever you throw, but father, there is this look. don't tell me sister what's wrong now that's me now I'm the guy my dad used to walk around the house turning off the lights talking to himself I guess we're rich I guess we're rich who's going to play who's going to pay I'm going to pay I'm going to pay I used to think it was crazy now I'm that one walking by my house there's not even anyone home alone I guess we're rich I guess we're rich but you do it man you get married and wow they're expensive man women silly I thought I thought they were born beautiful that's not the case all the single men in this audience listen to dad listen to me carefully see a woman with highlights running that's expensive right God God didn't put highlights in his head a gay man did it and he knows more about your wife than You look at me, I don't cost anything, nothing, sometimes it seems like I spend months on nothing, my wife, something like toes, something that costs money, it cost money, oh yes, she goes to see a Chinese lady every week and pays her 50 dollars for her.

I pull out the hairs from the vagina. The Chinese lady sees her more than I do and she comes back red and bruised. I don't even do that to him. She says it's for me I'm doing it for you that's really because I can do it Harry I don't have any problems I used to have in high school I know what I'm doing ah you let me do it in the winter no I don't see what the problem is. You want to do something for me. Let it grow. Send me 50 dollars a hit. You have to be a man.

You will become one. He is a tough man. He is tough. I don't even drive the nice car I do. I don't drive a good car. My wife drives the nice car. I drive the car that is my car with number 1. My wife doesn't care that it is new. Sometimes I don't drive a car for her. I sometimes drive it from time to time. and every time there's no gas, there's no gas, every time I get in the car, this is going to help, you know, like my wife cares, my wife cares that it's a new car.

Do you mind if you don't?, don't you?, she crashed eight times. not the fun part in the same place in the same place in the garage she doesn't care oh my god she's there every day in the same garage hey I even hung a tennis ball there to tell you when to stop but apparently not I do. Don't do anything right, so go straight back. I went out the other day, the fender was gone, it was just gone. I said honey, you know you were going to tell me, oh my God, didn't you see, I don't know where that happened. maybe it happened in the garage where it's hanging maybe that's what happened we're best friends right no no we're not best friends because my best friend wouldn't do that my best friend isn't going to wrap my car much let's do it seven more. times and if my best friend wrecked my car he would feel because he is a person and he would call me outside and say Steve.

I totaled your car and I feel horrible. I'm going to fix it. I'm sorry and I could see that. You're upset right now and if I were a woman to make you feel better I would suck your cock he's my best friend he knows he's my favorite you're saying we're best friends honey he'll be a friend can you be a friend? Oh laugh all you singles, get married, stop, stop, I used to get her everything, she slayed it, she slayed it, oh man, when we were dating like a porn star with a work ethic, she had a work ethic, We are married now she does it as if someone pointed a gun at her head how much time do I have to make things right?

A little more now, honey, you took something that involves not talking, but somehow we're having a conversation, it's a job, honey, she says so. Right there in the title, it's not very fun, it's not a vacation, so she goes downstairs, closes her eyes, waits for the clock and goes to work. I don't know who Louis Vuitton is but if I find him I'll punch him in the throat you gotta cheer you gotta cheer she want a bag you know yeah baby yeah get that one oh yeah that's a different kind of black I can see that Oh Brown We don't have enough browns get another one baby let's get shoes and bags that's what we need who needs a savings account shoes and bags look at this shirt that way when the economy goes we have something to trade honey that's a good job Louis Vuitton and Michael Kors there's a new one in town Rebecca I know, mall I shouldn't, but I know, MA.

My biggest problem with being married is the fact that my wife makes the rules but she doesn't have to follow them if she wants to go out with her friends, she just does them, there is no conversation, she just wakes up and leaves and I'm at home scared because she doesn't I know what I should do she didn't leave a list I don't know what to wear there's no food what I'm going to do I can't I can't, I can't go out with my friends without having to do paperwork. I have to have a meeting. A sales pitch.

I have to prepare a slide presentation. Thanks for coming, baby, on this first slide, you'll see. I've been bringing my lunch to work and have managed to save $30. On the next slide you'll see a golf coupon that I'd like to use on myself. Golf balls. You say no. I'm not going to buy any. I'm going to pass through the forest like a fine, look at me, you can't call my wife, I can't call her, but she is with her friends, if I call her, I understand what, what, why, if she answers, what, what are we busy, what in the history of nails. salons you've never seen women outside of those nail salons talking on the phone you've never seen it but in every bar in America there's a man under the tree I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no I don't even know what I did , but I'm sorry, I was going to have one more beer, no, I don't need another beer, I'll come home, who needs friends, honey, I'll come home, him, that is if my wife answers the phone. sometimes she doesn't answer sometimes she doesn't even answer I'm calling and texting and I'm angry I'm ready to kill him I'll kill her I'm angry and she comes home and I go straight to the phone you were trying to call and she looks at her phone but I had my phone off for four hours while I was with my friends, are you kidding me?

I would come home to the police and my parents and their parents and their grandparents and my dead. my grandparents and everyone would be there and everyone would be scolded. How dare you do that to him? I was worried about Junior Peak, I'm not sure what kind of Amanda Harris on your team isn't, so that's why I don't do it. dating single guys single man you don't understand you think you're a man honor a man all you have to do is take care of yourself you don't even do it that well you're not a man until you have a woman tell you what to do you want you want learning about patience and how not to kill another human being you get married if I play golf with my single friends and my wife calls and I answer my single friends I say my married friends like it oh hey do what you have to do , just let us know if we have something good, she will call, she will call you, she will call you, you better answer, you can't go, can't you understand the conversation you have? to solve your problem whatever whatever your problem is you have to solve it you have to be a man it's always something stupid it's just something I'll be playing golf and here it comes hello yeah honey I don't remember you passed it you're playing golf girl what could do for you?

Would you need to play a DVD? You don't know how to play a DVD. I'm not laughing at you. It's okay sweetheart. I'll fix it when I'm done. No, we will. deal with it right now yeah who needs to hang out with these other three guys they yeah tv and play honey maybe you should let me talk you asked me for help remember on the remote tv input for babies on the remote, no I don't see the remote control TV I'm not yelling I'm not yelling at you Says TV input baby HDMI What remote control are you using?

Yeah, that remote doesn't work. Why were you angry with me? You are the one who called me. I'm highlighting, they are that time hello hello oh, I have to go, let's see what wants to play a DVD, my wife can shop, that woman can shop all day, all the time, that woman can, she comes home. Pinterest Pinterest, then look with trick, look there. in this look in this look there what do you think of this this what's up with this I don't know I should show the store all day all day she will come home with 30 bags on a Saturday the 30th and we have to play with the prices, right?

I will be putting out an item, how much do you think the actual retail price is? Pratt. I don't give him anything serious. Well how much actual retail price did I love? The price is right and you killed it, you killed it for me. I hate that. I play now ask me okay? how much did I pay? how much did I pay? three dollars I got it for three dollars it's worth three dollars if I got it right I got it right and I came back and bought it for three dollars she comes home with all the bags and she puts all the things in the living room she has to put them away she has to tell me everything about everything who becomes an auctioneer let me take Mason to Maci 30% I've had another 20 percent objection A percentage discount of $7.00, right.

I bought it at Macy's. I have that 40% off method. I'm going to go out here, there, oh, so I'm here in the corner two four one one four two two four one one four. two, I bought four pairs of shoes for a cheeky 35 dollars, that's good honey, now how much do we spend? You have to ask, they won't tell you, you have to ask, you don't ask, you don't get an answer. I have to ask how much, tell me how much you have 400, all that, how did you spend $400? Well, these are a million.