Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: An Unbridled Rage

What was your reaction at the end of the film? But don't use words. Well, I'm going to count to three, two, one, it's actually a lot worse than that, let's get

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ted. Never has the Lucasfilm logo been more cursed than on this miserable bag of lies, although I hoped, we open with the title crawl, the dead speak. What we get the first three words actually gets even better with the translation on the camera copy. The deaths are speaking. Oh my goodness, anyway, the galaxy has heard a mysterious transmission of a threat. of vengeance in the sinister voice of the late Emperor Palpatine, yes, Palpatine is alive and is sending his voice to the galaxy for what I'm sure is a very good reason why General Leia Organa sends secret agents to gather intelligence, OK?

Industrial Intelligence I guess intelligence is the most sophisticated computer in the world as Rey, the last hope of the Jedi, trains for battle against the evil first order trains she now trains. I'll have to see it to believe, oh my god, look at a girl. Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren goes on a rampage in search of the Ghost Emperor determined to destroy any threat to his power, although I will say that the translation seems to be more accurate. Kylo Ren is angry, yes, that's true. I wonder if this movie will have Kylo on both sides of the line. between light and dark and maybe he will have to commit to making a decision at some point, that would be a big change, so what a great

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t, the good old sheaf is alive and plotting.

Rey is gaining more power and Kylo is the de facto head of the Empire. We begin by following Kylo to some planet with a red and white aesthetic. I've been told he's Mustafar, but you know it's hard to say these things and I think a lot of viewers have some PTSD regarding the red and white planets right now. At that moment we discover that Kylo is murdering everyone to collect a MacGuffin number one. The villager simply says wow! I like that he listens to a McMuffin. Oh I'm sorry. McMuffin number one. The McMuffin gives you direct references to Mr.

Palpatine's location, so you might be wondering why Kylo would need the McMuffin. He will get there once he finds out which planet he is on from the McMuffin pit. Jeeves Planet that space cancer only represents a specific direction of approach to the planet, so no one could get here at any time. from many directions, as long as they know where the planet is, I mean, couldn't someone have found this by accident right now? Why would they need a McMuffin once they see space cancer? Just turn it over, don't get wet too. I guess she actually survived episode 6.

He's a little worse for wear with the white eyes and Tizen fingers, but it's him. Congratulations, friend. I thought you were dead for sure in Lucas's mind. Palpatine was absolutely dead after Return of the Jedi, who else is that idiot George? Unfortunately, this is subjective with almost everything in Star Wars, but I suppose we can explore that a little later, at this point in the movie, they increased the lighting and sounds to the point that epilepsy warnings had to be given. committing to this for so long that I legitimately couldn't focus on the people in the scene, it's to support the creepy factor, but holy hell, calm down as Kylo walks forward, we see a bunch of test tubes with containers that, um, I can't.

I think I'm about to say this, this is real, this is a thing, okay and no, I'm not lying to you, okay, as Kylo walks forward, we see a bunch of test tubes and containers with failed clones of Snoke, say. Again the failed Snoke clones literally attempt to create Supreme Leader Snoke, meaning that Emperor Palpatine can create a hyper-powered force user from scratch from his bedroom in an instant. Snoke has been around since before Luke tried to murder Kylo while he slept, so yeah. cream Eve has been busy, I mean, she could have somehow made an entire army of scrotums take on Andy Serkis' hyper-powered CGI now she hasn't, but you know, the precedent is that not anymore, it takes a whole life of training and fighting to become the most powerful force user in the galaxy, you can just pull one out of a test tube and drop it into the head seat of the most powerful Empire clone to ever exist, but yeah, apparently Snoke was his own guy who trained Kylo well, but in the end he was. created by Palpatine, he's like a meat puppet, maybe so why did he exist if it was all Palpatine anyway?

We'll just replace him as soon as he dies, why would you be there to begin with? I know we wonder where he came from, he appeared out of nowhere and what for the people of this universe they just took him seriously. I always thought we just didn't know the things they knew, but they knew just as much as we did. This was always the plan to surp

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us when about a year ago we said we were thinking about bringing back the Emperor, how? Feel good, so what was Snoke Luke Han and Leia's interaction? Did everyone think he was a real guy?

Apparently, Vader's voice was faked by Palpatine, as well as possibly Snoke's voice in Kylo's head or claims as such a voice different from yours. ever inside, which is quite uncomfortable, isn't it? First we have to acknowledge that Vader simply abandoned his family as a force ghost and when his grandson was told that he should follow the dark side with a fake Vader voice, Anakin just let that happen. Not to mention Kylos' entire motivation was what it was again. I will finish what you started so that discovering that the voice you have been following for years is false shatters your entire worldview, perhaps calling into question every last action.

Have you ever taken it well, no, actually, it's still fully intended to rule the galaxy as users of the dark side, so I'm going to take this opportunity to say that for the last year and a half, a podcast that I've been running with rags I had a bet. with the guests the bet was to choose who you thought would be the most inconsistent character in the

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of Skywalker in reference to his past appearances now all the characters were on the table except Palpatine because we didn't actually know he was going to be in the movie before make this bet and I think a lot of people would have chosen it, so you know it wouldn't be fair.

I think there's reason to assume that he wasn't going to be in this movie, but someone else was disqualified and that's Kylo. Ren, because my god, this character is so utterly inconsistent that he has become the personification of tangled Christmas tree lights soaked in yogurt and acid. I'm not even going to pretend that he has anything resembling a line in these movies, be good, be bad. I don't care anymore, just commit, you greased weasel, Kylo threatens to kill Palpatine and Palpatine responds that you died before. I don't think death means what you think it means and even if you are like a dead ghost inhabiting your own corpse.

How does your body survive the explosion twice? It gives us an explanation. He repeats the line we've all heard in episode three. The dark side of the force is a path to many abilities that some consider unnatural and that's it for the entire movie. it only says that he is alive despite having died due to the dark side. Thank God, they were able to arbitrarily bring back old enemies. What would we have done for the steaks? Otherwise, imagine they had to create a new enemy, one that could unite the old and the old. a new one who might have been pulling strings in the background of a new hope, one who might have had a close relationship with the character whose soul is being torn apart in two ways, and one who isn't motivated entirely by power, well, come on kill that guy and turn him into a test tube baby created by the guy who died twice thirty years ago the absolute state of Lucasfilm just what Kylo is instructed to kill Ray and become the supreme power of the universe the way buddy P can make this happen is by combining your forces with the first order to create the final order remember order 66 remember the prequels because that is the point to which disney has sunk this franchise now they are desperately clinging to the chance to be as good as the Santo prequels, regardless of this being the final order, which implies that he had it planned for a long time and it is his end.

I wonder if there will be any comparisons to that movie in this one, as Palpatine is referring to about a thousand Star Destroyers in terms of his strength, I'm not sure. How he managed to get thousands of Star Destroyers manufactured let alone one individually equipped with the ability to destroy planets seems impossible in what is a desolate wasteland riddled with lightning, and during the delivery of this information, the Emperor takes out all of his Star Destroyers. from My ex's apartment does with the big gay apparently these things were built underground and he just carried them across his own planet to lift them up and they come fully equipped with all the crew members that a huge spaceship would require, what? what new hell is this?

Why wouldn't you build these things on the surface prepared for takeoff? The whole point of this place is that no one can get there without a bagel and the first person who finally got here that it doesn't work for Palpatine was shown right away. There's no need to hide them, it can't have to do with bad weather either, as they will run around on the ground and sit in the sky throughout the entire movie. I don't think Mr. Sheave cares about their structural integrity, so why would they be embedded in the floor and have people on them unless this planet is hollow and there are a bunch of scaffolding and workstations underneath?

I really doubt it, but let's stick with it, what is it about the integrity of the entire area that prevents your weird science room from being buried? There's a good reason why contractors exist. Wrap it in a tortilla and I'm sorry, but which one? What will be the damage on these Star Destroyers because you know I'm a pretty strange guy, so here? This with a grain of salt, but when you're making your maiden voyage on a new ship, I don't think it's good practice to plant it in the ground. None of that makes sense, but it sure looks cool.

It must be a JJ Abrams movie. Anyway, we cut to Finn and Poe, who are meeting with an informant who wants to give them spy information. In the first order, they managed to transfer the information to r2d2 and boldly escape before it's too late. This is on the ice. comet, by the way, the glorious image from the trailer, now you may have been asking yourself the old question of wait what's going on, who was the informant, who is the spy, how did the first order find these guys so easily? We don't get any information about that, we've jumped a nebulous amount of time into the future and they're just in this situation, it's a perfect setup for some action, stop complaining, stop asking questions.

I also want to highlight that this creature tells you. to win the war thanks to this information he has provided when it essentially amounts to confirmation that a so-called EXA exists. Palpatine is alive and has a Star Destroyer fleet numbering in the thousands because yes, they were already losing, but now I'm sure this will turn the tide. in their favor and it's not really like that, how is it possible that they can escape from the first order contracted people through hyperspace and they have been found, so it's too late, but of course, you need a star destroyer for that, like it takes a big structure and a power source or whatever like a switch so it's not like the Tie Fighters can do it right that's where you're wrong twice in fact the Tie Fighters can now track through hyperspace to the point of being instantaneous, almost as if they were traveling with the person.

They are chasing him but that is not a problem because there is a new invention in this world called light speed jump and light speed jump is essentially a hyperspace jump instantly multiple times in a row. This is how PO can lose anyone who is tracking him now. I didn't know. It was possible that no one would do it, in fact I'm pretty sure there's a very cheeky line in the original trilogy that is designed to tell us that they shouldn't do it because it's a very quick way to die, but this is a no-choice situation anymore. that Ryan has locked JJ in with hyperspace tracking, but again it was JJ's decision to have them chased in the first five minutes, so what do I know?

I think it's relevant to say that he gives JJ an excuse to lead us into a lot of crazy things. places quickly love the pictures of him that JJ, but it doesn't make much sense, does hedoes it first? If the coordinates are random, then you should hit dead space almost every time, considering the ratio of things versus not. stuff out there, meaning I would never have missed the TIE fighters; However, if these were places he actually knew and was headed to, then he was very lucky to be alive, he seems to show up at these places with no idea exactly where he will go. earth, do you understand how lucky you are to have landed on each of these wills with a thousand obstacles each and not hit any of them, you should have turned into whole dough soup and that brings us to the third and final location that has a random location?

Cthulhu's space worm that technically saves their lives by stopping the remaining Thai fighters from clumsily flying towards him for some reason. Was this Poe's intention? Does he know when the network moves? The almost instantaneous jumps are these worlds so close together. Do you remember how long it took to get from Tatooine to Alderaan? I guess none. Anyway, it matters, it's stupid space stuff, plus Ryan ignored his own rules with the hyperspace tracker at the end of the last Jedi, so who really cares? Finn seems to be vehemently against Lee's entire idea, by the way, which is interesting since it's the only option they have to save their lives, although Poe admits that yes, this is the best they have because Ray isn't in this one. mission, she only seeks to clarify that Ray is now better than the poet at piloting and he laments the fact that she is.

He is there to save them in a more effective way when it comes to piloting, what can she do other than jump light speed and would she exactly save you from the first order? I mean, piloting is Poe's only thing, but I guess he sucks. was compared to Ray because everyone sucks at everything compared to Ray and hey if your neck hadn't already been broken by the different characters and local tones we suddenly cut to Ray she is being trained by Leia who knows how to train a Jedi, it's okay now, Ray. she is meditating in the air while he moves a bunch of rocks because this was boring.

I guess we have to turn it up. JJ style. More rocks. Consistent levitation. This is Ray. He even floats down with a frustrated sigh, as if the whole flying part was easy. I guess. Palpatine should have investigated that the problem is that he can't get them to be with her, apparently he's trying to hear the voices of all the past Jedi through the gay, that's something he can meditate on I guess, regardless of whether the lair is here and she. she gives Ray Anakin's lightsaber, it's been repaired, rip tlj, we see a lot of running, jumping, and oh look, the droid Luke used alone, this is Ray, so we have to get him up.

He not only he is blind, not only is he taking many shots at once, he is balancing on thin log over an abyss, yeah, go girl, wait, why does this person need training? At the end of this little segment, lightning drops a tree on bb-8 and she says oh no, sorry and starts pushing the trunk, what are you doing? you can literally do this, just do it with your god powers, you're irritable right before Finn and Poe came back. Rey is taking a look at those sacred acts of the Jedi and happens to see a page about McMuffins, yes, that's what happens to her.

See you right before the plot begins with the need for McMuffins. I'm sure it has absolutely no relevance when Finn and Poe get off the Falcon, meet Rey and we get some instant chemistry, just adding years of off-screen history. they have this weird thing made up out of nowhere that Poe and Rey don't like each other because they have different approaches to everything, it's a conflict that is introduced, developed, and then discarded, which actually applies to a lot of things in this sense. PO is angry at Rey for not helping them and for harming BB-8 and Rey is angry at Poe for harming the Falcon, you know, harming him while saving his own life, Chewie's lives and the end, and he secured the information because to Poe He's just not allowed to do things. right in this fit saga he even backs it up by saying that poe is always in a bad mood since when he wasn't always the fun lover in the test first milestone first i took first fishing to jump on the next wing and blow something It's hard to understand, it you search I guess he had fun with the surgical removal during tlj, as if the rest of the characters were leaving anyway.

Ray and Finns are friendly as always. They all talk in a group and the movie tries to make it better to pretend that they have been there. together for a long time, Ray says the compressor is off and the SPO can't jump lightspeed, but then he says he can and he did, yes, then the Falcon is repaired in about 10 minutes for the next adventure, so who cares, the conversation heats up when Poe says that it's essentially stupid of Ray to be training to talk to past Jedi when she's the best fighter they have and they need her help to win this war.

She has no answer to that because there is no other answer than saying yes. she really shouldn't be training. I figured she would know that she is the best at everything she has ever done and that she would be helping them, but she just stands there and asks about the spy. There is a lot to be said about this interaction from a writing perspective. I'm sure someone will at some point, but this story really wants us to accept these people as friends with an unbreakable bond along with values ​​that conflict even though two of them share less than a minute of face time. the screen, it's so rushed to talk about it with the intelligence recovered from the spy the resistance confirms that Palpatine has returned and everyone cringes gasps, of course, several members try to reconcile this impossibility and a Hobbit gets involved.

Mary suggests that it's dark science cloning and the like. He describes the cloning technology as secrets that only the Sith knew even though there was a galactic war, half of which was fought by clones, but by law, it is a Sith secret and goes on to say that Pal P is building the largest fleet the galaxy has ever known that will attack all three worlds in 16. hours, which is interesting for many reasons first, if that's all you had to say in the message, then why did you need this transfer? You could have literally yelled at these guys or thrown a USB with a notepad file at them, it would have been a hell of a lot faster than this, for some reason, to transfer a sentence of information, it takes like a minute to run it through a big cable. from floppy to r2d2, you can literally set it up like this is your r2, it's a USB 4.1 connection. right, because that's what the guy and I have to find an adapter, if he's not that thing, we should have the cable it's so huge and he's alive, he has a fleet of ships on this planet, no matter how cold it is and will attack in so many days, that's the whole message right there, I said it correctly, written on a piece of paper excited to rock it and throw it there, but as far as information goes, I don't even know what free worlds are in this moment, did he do it first? order take control of everything or they are not going to destroy each of the free wills they are not really going to capture them control them if this is the plan then shouldn't the free worlds be mobilizing their own attack?

Isn't this something the good guys should look into whether or not they have a plot to find a bunch of McMuffins and wait, wasn't Palpatine interested in having an empire and not pieces of planets floating around the galaxy? Wasn't there actually a point to the Empire beyond? killing people and destroying Alderaan was a message for the rebellion, this simply seems to be a desire to destroy many powers with strong resources for no other reason than to be the evil empire improve all systems it touches security prosperity business opportunity peace there is no evil on the way friends and his origin is exha objective, now we have the stakes in Return of the Jedi, but we are JJ's, so we have to get it going and this all came up between movies because Ryan left JJ, it was nothing in the end by T.

LJ. Unfortunately, however, ago, like maybe a person who just read a passage in a book about it about McMuffins in an unrelated note ray talks to Leia about Luke apparently having searched for a long time almost found McMuffin 3 but failed and put his notes in the sacred act for some reason he did it and then he went into exile I guess, although Luke somehow discovered that it takes a McMuffin to get to X ago and Luke's trail from 1 went cold somewhere in the desert and that's where are going to find one, just go to a desert, not just an entire planetary desert, okay, so yeah, that's a good enough clue, but let's look for clarification because you guys might not be following, they want to stop the new emperor fleet, but they can't even get to it, they have accepted this information as true without any confirmation because a first order spy told them that a spy who supposedly has only been active since the events of tlj is not like attracting everyone the main players of the resistance to a desert planet does not sound like a trap nor does it sound like a trap to attract all the resistance ships to a very rocky planet, but hey, let's trust the information, the plan is this to reach the fleet of the Emperor, the book says that they will need a McMuffin, specifically a McMuffin, because Kylo has one and there is only one. two McMuffins that can get a person to the EXCI objective for some reason, but to get the location to McMuffin, they'll need McMuffin 3 and McMuffin 3 is apparently in this desert.

This is a very smart plan before they go. Finn makes sure to ask. an old friend along with Shrek has returned, but since we're looking to right the wrongs of the last Jedi in this movie, JJ opts to have Shrek spend the story pointing at consoles and scanning things, if I'm specific, however, Shrek says that the endurance. They are scanning old Star Destroyers to exploit weaknesses. I wonder if that throwaway line will be relevant later, but the important part is that Shrek doesn't come in pink as the centerpiece, it's a great move, so the adventure begins and the Falcon takes off with ease. has become lighter thanks to the guaranteed elimination of shrek, tlj fans will miss you, we see our cast of characters, our wonderful team happily celebrating the path they have taken together for the first time in this trilogy, hell back to kylo and we see he literally repaired the damage that Rian Johnson caused.

I have nothing more to say about it when I got this job. I was very excited to start working without him. One of the first things I thought about was that we had to figure out a way to get that mask out of the way and I thought, well, it seems really natural that the idea that you know Stokes' reaction to the mask is to ridicule it and suddenly turn it into this symbol. his of his immaturity behind which he hides. this mask that seems to make sense to me. I love that the scene exists. It fuels the hilarity of Lucasfilm and its stale approach to what humanity used to describe a narrative while shattering the putrid dreams of a maniac and his goal of sabotaging Star Wars alone. to give it to a person looking to torpedo the series anyway, although I think I should point out that Kylo must have picked up the pieces of his mask after leaving it in a random elevator, even after the supremacy was forked, he wanted it so much. and apparently he picked up all the pieces good job kylo then walks down a hallway with the Knights of Ren what is that kind spectator?

You don't know what a Ren night is nor do you know how I managed to recognize them well. I got some useful exposure on it. They wrote that they filmed. They left that in the edit. Wow, reminds me of something. Kylo actually establishes that there is a spy in the middle of the first order, but that spy won't be able to do it. something worth mentioning because they will surely win no matter how interesting it is. I wonder if this spy is just an excuse for our heroes to participate in the plot at the beginning and be saved when they desperately need it later.

I wonder if there will be any exploration into how such a spy came to be or what his character entails anyway, Kylo says that soon they will have the Mexico fleet and nothing will stop them only for some guy to say that the ex's people make it sound like some kind of sect. of fortune tellers, why would you say your boss is the only person who stood there and saw a literal armada of Star Destroyers willing to give you? Who cares if the fortune teller's general pride in him points out that same information and then the guy?

He says well, what are they asking for in return? Did you know? Okay, that's a fair question. I guess let's explore that. Okay, so Kylo is throwing another tantrum and he chokes the guy so hard he slaps him against the ceiling. Why are you so? Angry for no reasonThe whole time you come in whiny and among the chatter they say that this Armada will make up for the failure of the Starkiller base while you look at Huck's even though it was Captain Phasma who allowed the shields to fall and Kylo who failed several. times throughout the movie, including letting the droids slip through the First Order's fingers, Hux literally couldn't have done anything about it when they arrived at Starkiller Base if it wasn't clear that they want you to understand the reasoning behind Huck being the Double Agent, you see, that explains his constant mistakes and I guess the fact that everyone thinks he's useless and doesn't command respect is having an effect.

Then there are comments about taking more young people from different areas of the galaxy. This is on top of Kylo. Saying that they will crush any will that challenges them, which means that at this point, just from this couple of sentences, more will is being built than the last excellent Jedi, it still doesn't make sense, although our heroes later reach Tatooine or not. sorry, not to jakku, I guess it's a completely new one, they use the specific coordinates that Luke chilled at to get to a desert. The plan is to literally just look around. I guess this is a plot.

Upon arriving, they discover that searching the desert is going to be difficult considering there is a festival going on, although if it wasn't there you would still have to search a desert, which is obviously unfortunate, but this festival is quite common. c-3po informs us that it takes place over 42 off years, why are you writing this? In the way you smoke an absolute skunk, but Mahler references the liberation of a new hope, that's an explanation that's no excuse as they approach the vast desert. Poe explains that there are always first order patrols in these areas, so you have to be careful.

Would a first order patrol be here? What reason would you have to be at a festival on a distant planet? What did I do. Which I'm sure won't be relevant. Luckily for our heroes in various locations the shots show us that there is no first order in sight they will be fine as they progress through this celebration looking for McMuffin 3po suggests talking to the locals as if he does I can't believe this is the plot, we are going to talk to the locals about McMuffin number three that Luke Skywalker couldn't find that is in this desert somewhere what the plan anyway Randy sees lightning and gives her a necklace while asking her last name and she stops Think about how each movie in the sequel trilogy can't do.

She's made up her mind about this, but before she can give a more detailed answer, Kylo gives her a Skype call, does that hurt? They discuss the idea that Kylo is closer to the light now and that Rey is closer to the darkness while threatening to kill her. Plus, you know the standard dialogue between these two walking infections, but then Kylo grabs Rey's necklace and drags him across the universe to her ship. No, I'm not kidding, that happens. We had water in tlj, then we had invisible ice and now you can just teleport objects across the universe do you know the applications for this?

What exactly are the limits? Can you get through it? Can you get their weapons through their clothes? Can her friends help you get through and make everyone pile up? What's this stupid fight because Kylo took the necklace? Ray immediately concludes that the first order will arrive on this planet in a few moments and warns his friends before they can think that the necklace is analyzed and the specific planet is identified, pushing Kylo Ren to our heroes immediately and then before we can recover from that, they're running away from the thought of being captured and a random stormtrooper is standing here, but before you can think about that, the soldier gets shot in the eye by an arrow from Lando Calrissian, which I guess It's good to be back friends, first of all is how sacred this random necklace design is, it definitely means that person is the planet they are on.

What if this was something Ray obtained years ago? What if people who visit Persona take these? things to other places, this is really enough to continue. I love the idea that we have a scene with Kylo intending to find Rey and he had absolutely no clues and then he just took one off her neck and you'll also wonder where on this planet. Would Kylo know how to search well? That's because they ran into a random stormtrooper who was just chilling there like a poem and glowing in a throwaway line earlier. What are the chances of them running into that guy at that very moment?

He means that the necklace didn't matter anyway, you could have just said that these guys alerted the first order. Can you please follow up on your own movie? How can Kylo get here so fast? Yes, hyperspace exists. but it's not like teleporting, it still takes time, even the force awakens recognizes that secondly, assuming the necklace really mattered, what are the odds that a random villager would decide to put it on one of our heroes and then the entire selection, it turned out to be the one who has random Skype calls with the only guy in the universe who is looking for them and has the ability to teleport items away from a person.

Wow, thirdly, how the hell is Lando here? Of all the coincidences that he was ever on the planet they need. to go in this plot, he was also in the right place at the right time to save their lives. Just kidding, I like the idea that he's not only in this right area, but he noticed them in general, he had a gun on him and Murder is apparently cool in this culture because there's a wide shot shortly after and everyone's dancing, There's a guy lying dead on the floor with his eyeball hanging from the back of his head and these people don't care about anything.

More than luck, then, or does Lando explain that Leia sent him a transmission that our heroes are on their way? Lando looked for Chewie and was here earlier with Luke looking for McMuffin 3, which explains why he was still on this planet. We did it, guys, everything. makes sense, except you haven't explained why Lando would look for them at this general festival and that he was really lucky to see Chewie considering the size of this celebration, luck like, where's Waldo's fucking level of luck? You've also explained why. He would have been here at some point long ago, but not why he is here now.

Did you just relax on this planet? What about the best container? You know the people you betrayed the rebellion for and why Leia didn't tell our heroes about her encounter with Lando. before he leaves, why wouldn't he be the contact to meet on this planet that would make the most sense and save time? But I guess JJ wanted to give us the shocking reveal, as usual. Lando explains that there are only two McMuffins that can achieve it. Your ex makes those McMuffin one and two, this planet has McMuffin three and that can also get you to McMuffin, but to get to number three you'll need to get to Archie's ship, it's parked on a hill somewhere somehow not has been broken. for parts or stolen, he's been there for decades, although you can blow him up with some tweaks, okay, we're also chilling Archie youichi Darth Chi.

I don't respect that character any more than Lucasfilm respects Star Wars, so Kylo Ren arrives and our heroes have to steal some speeders to evade the incoming soldiers, Poe's Hotwire and Finn asks how he would know how to do that. That's an interesting question that you could apply very generously in this trilogy, but not so much here, he is the best pilot in history. resistance or it was anyway, why wouldn't it know how to connect a slider? It sounds like something I might know, but my mistake is not realizing that they are soon going to reveal a shocking Poe story and this is the setup, stay tuned, folks.

First order, then send some soldiers after our heroes and they start flying while chasing them. Oh my god, I've never seen a jetpack in this movie series before. I'm sure none of them had seen something so unique before, why wouldn't they? just open with the jet packs if they are that fast it would save you a lot of time and you are a harder target to hit and you are not limited to a treaded speeder wait why are they treaded speeders as expected? We get some action-packed chases and gunplay, the rain affects driving and aiming, and the wonderful visuals just spill out onto the screen, even though bb-8 touches a canister and it explodes exactly as one would need to shoot a soldier.

It would have been fun. Yeah he just exploded on his speeder but hey, I'm not a droid, what do I know? Also, Finn throws a rope with a hook or something and it gets tangled in the tracks of one of the speeders leaving him alone. Getting blown up by a swimming PO is a nice action moment I guess, but can someone explain why speed even has treads when this is the first rich order driving them? They are going after people who don't use that technology. How is this happening? to mention that these ships apparently have shields to block the laser beam, but they can't bounce a rope with a hook off of themselves, just don't think about it, eventually our two heroes' ships explode like a soldier just shoots in the back from both.

They and everyone fall off of course the ships are in pieces but our team of good guys are absolutely fine because luckily I guess they even managed to take several shots before finally blowing up the remaining soldier and then they quickly sink into the quicksand like sand. he doesn't do anything to them until the drama is over, they're just lying on him and he doesn't do anything to them until the stormtrooper goes down, so they all panic as they slowly get swallowed up by the sand and Ray doesn't use the gay at all . Remember how he can. float with ease, we even see her literally move the earth at will in this same movie much later, but here there is a general acceptance that she and her friends are dead now, how unfortunate that she has forgotten everything.

I hope everything turns out well and I hope it turns out that falling into quicksand is somehow exactly what they needed to do next. It turns out that falling into the quicksand was exactly what they were meant to do and they discover that mcmuffin number 3 is just lying there in a bunch of tunnels. next to Darth Chi's corpse, hang how the quicksand is suspended over a series of caves, how come the quicksand doesn't enter the caves? Is it magic sand? How did Luke and Lando not think to check out the mysterious black quicksand outside of Darth? cheese ship when the trail went cold how did Luke not sense the evil Sith knife apparently this was his only clue to finding his ex ago and they just abandoned his ship was there what more proof do you need to search the area too how did he do it? da Fucci dies as if he were a Jedi assassin, surely he must have some survival instincts, but they just find his bones lying on the ground.

I guess he gave up and the worm decided not to eat him, so McMuffin 3 is a knife that has inscribed on it the details of where to find McMuffin, meaning our heroes can now escape and find the EXA target, maybe just why in the world would the McMuffin that leads to the secret world be placed on a knife, not a ceremonial knife, of course this idiot was his weapon used to kill people, why don't you put the knife on yourself and not a map? Why would a guy in and out of EXO need a knife with instructions on how? to find a guide 2 times ago, wouldn't it make more sense to hide that thing in X ago and if he needed it then you wouldn't have had the McMuffin he drives to?

Isn't it better to have that than a The knife that carries that kind of isn't because it says the other one is sitting in a room that opens automatically in the ruins of the Death Star. He is not safe from scavengers. That's actually proven. Do you leave this stuff there in case people want to find X ago? so whoever Palpatine wants to get to X ago, wouldn't you send people there to go pick them up? Why would you leave two maps there that someone could randomly stumble upon and look at how clumsy this knife is? dagger please, we need it anyway c-3po explains that he knows exactly what's on the knife, but can't read it because he can't translate it to anyone else, then hands it to c-3po, who identifies the writing as a SIF language but it reveals that it can't translate the YT and due to restrictions in its programming, okay, well I can't tell myself what this is to clarify the problem, it's not that it can't read it, it's that it can.

He doesn't translate it into any other language and therefore can't tell anyone else about the information, so why not have C-3po point to a star map or whatever we know? It turns out to be a place at the end of the system, so just do it. that all he cannot do is convert theinstructions to no other language, so it seems like an easy way around it, but before they can decide what to do next, they are attacked by a sandworm or, well, no, they really have a stalemate. and the caprice just looks at them for a while, no idea why Ray then realizes he's hurt and decides to heal him with the big guy, how does he know it's possible?

How do you know how to do it? How is this? that Anakin couldn't catch me how is this something that Obi-wan couldn't do for qui-gon or Anakin when he arrived in pain? How is that something Luke couldn't do for Anakin? Well, maybe it doesn't work at all on humans, huh. maybe you can't just arbitrarily heal a fatal lightsaber stab, maybe you can't heal someone from death to life because if you could, by healing yourself, you could destroy everything, remove the worm, and in doing so, accidentally knock down a pile of rocks and opens a path it's like a video game how wonderfully convenient ray seems to be absolutely fine from the exchange no one questions what just happened outside of bb-8 because apparently this is totally normal and ray explains that everything is fine, it's okay, not how it should radically change your position in the resistance and in this world, but yeah, okay.

Chewie saves Darth from the cheese knife and everyone heads back to the ship to escape, but Rey senses Kylo and just walks away. They are about to be captured. They have the key to victory. they have a very absorbing ship and she just walks away none of them stop her she just says okay she walks away the Knights of Ren are there you don't have time what are you planning to do assuming Kylo Ren? appears, do you understand that you are currently running away from the first order, just return to the ship, diuretic Thunder Wally, what the hell is going on?

She walks away from her so far that they send Chewie to find her and in the process of doing so he is then captured by the Knights of Ren, yes that happens, look at this shot, this is where she is in reference to the ship. Chewie is captured on his way from the ship to here and neither Poe nor Rey nor BB-8 nor Finn. realized this, there is no gunshots or screams, they even dragged it around the corner to make it look like it somehow works logistically, but no one could believe that this is how everyone would be moving and it gets worse, the ship ready.

To go alone, Kylo Ren tries to run over Rey with his interceptor. First of all, his goal has explicitly been to turn Rey to the dark side, so what is he doing trying to kill her? There's a pretty big difference between trying to push someone and running them over, and if he's really trying to kill her, then why not use the lasers, you jackass? find someone else to be in the dyad, I guess in the meantime they put Chewie on a transport ready to be taken to a command ship and Finn tries to go after him.

Rey jumps in and segments Ren's ship to the point that she crashes at about 50 miles per hour. as he rolls in the sand ending with an explosion, don't worry, it's okay, that degree of g-force and an explosion can't be done to Kylo Ren, not as long as the plot protects him anyway, but I want to get away from that stupid man because he's about about to be overshadowed by different stupid and more. Powerful, deafening, stupid and how this works, I need to tell you what happens and then I can talk about it, so here goes Rey tries to use the gay to pull the transport with a captured Chewie inside, but Kylo uses the gay push to counter.

This is until Rey does this, what kind of absolute trophy of cinematic excrement am I forcing myself to witness right now? Who is the carnival penis at Lucasfilm that approved this tumorous fudge we call a scene? Okay, let's start with the whole team allowing Ray to get out of it. It was far from foolish for her to commit to this move instead of simply throwing the lightsaber from a safe position. It's silly to have the first order parked right next to our heroes and not do anything about it. It's stupid that Chewie is going to chase Ray while taking a cheese knife with him instead of leaving it to Poe and Finn, that's stupid that Ray can't shoot down the ship or just damage the thrusters that's stupid, she's a God, don't let Powe or Finn do anything about the soldiers or Kylo.

Ren, this whole ship escaping is just silly, Kylo Ren surviving the explosion after rolling at a million miles per hour is just a dumb lightning bolt using one of the most advanced powers for the dark side without a lick of experience in that sense, it is nonsense for lightning to explode. concentrated gay to incinerate you, Barker, although you would actually incite peeing in a waffle, that about two minute series was just silly and you know what after Ray murdered Chewie Finn makes this noise and honestly it makes me laugh, it's like he was saying why you did it. kill him you idiot either way our characters just pick up and don't leave a first order chase them Kylo doesn't even bother trying to stop them.

Well next we see that Chewie is fine, he's aboard the destroyer Kylos and it turns out that Rey just destroyed another random transport ship no I'm not fucking with you this happens the movie kills him and all the characters react and then it's like it's right in Law Pond-Scum's script, so they decide what to do with the inscription that's apparently there. There is not enough time to return to base, but there is enough time to visit a droid manufacturer and work on the translation. Remember this. I'm going to get back to it. Plus, they're being followed by the Knights of Ren on their own ship, so that explains it. why did they let them go oh wait no they didn't why didn't they capture them instead of letting them run free?

I actually have no idea during the trip bb-8 manages to power up a droid from the uchi ship he just relaxes and no one wonders if he has any information that could help them since he's decades old and a sith droid but that's okay , I mean, it would be too convenient for the story to have that option, you know, so that then our heroes arrive. in Kazemi and are ambushed by Zora Bliss, she is a former crew member of a spice trafficking operation. Poe used to be a part of Sori immediately concludes that they can collect the bounty on our heroes until Rey beats them all up and thus Zuri decides that she likes her.

Rey and ironically this is a common trait of MarySue people in the world like them and how lucky that no one was killed or even shot in this back and forth and for her to respond in that very specific way would have been super awkward. if she didn't help them or if the first order was alerted, but well, that's how it happened, then zouri guides our heroes to the Droid Smith whose name is Babu Frick, they take c-3po to a droid Smith named Babu Frick , oh and just as our heroes are walking away, the movie shows us that the Knights of Ren are right behind them, but they still lose them, this entire group moves in unison throughout the city in search of these people they left behind. go despite knowing exactly. where is the ship and yet everyone is looking for everything together and they lost them you are so incompetent that I'm starting to think that you didn't get to the last Jedi because you just got lost, mr.

Frick then concludes that you have to erase c-3po's memory in order to successfully translate the SIF message. Why does that continue in some way? Why would you have to erase all memory of him? That's exactly what, in fact, why can't you? I have translated that it is literally a SIF droid c-3po and then it says that r2d2 does not have reliable copies of c-3po's memory and that this is their only chance, which means that if they returned to the base after the mission where r2d2 he's just chilling c-3po couldn't be restored which means now it's c-3po's death scene why a damn droid Smith wouldn't have any way to create a backup for a droid I was like a tech of IT without a USB For the love of God, do I even need to talk about how absolutely embarrassing it is that you have C-3po essentially dying with no one he knows in the room?

Leia Chewie and r2d2 are gone for four identical reasons and you have this character from the entire saga telling the audience. that he's saying goodbye to his friends and talking to the people he maybe spends a minute on screen with, yeah, I don't believe that, so c-3po dies great and moves on. Zhora Bliss shares that she has a First Order Captain's Medallion which means you get free passage through any blockade, how lucky she just has a magical space coin that can basically push anyone through the plot. It seems pointless, as any captain she belongs to will surely know she's missing and disable her from doing so.

I mention that if this theoretical captain was dead, he would surely have been discharged, but hey, I guess that's how he works. I mean, it's no big deal, she's not going to give it to Poe or the rest of our heroes or anything that's meant for her so she can finally. escape this planet she's been trapped on for so long, a planet full of pain she wants to get away from, this is her only chance anyway, she ends up giving it to Poe and they use him to ambush a first order ship and save Chewie. This gelatinous plumb line of a PO script then shares that no one came to help the resistance in their final hours in the box.

He thinks everyone is too scared and Zora responds by saying that there are more of us than them and that they win when they make us feel alone. In absolute terms, you may be right, but you are aware of the absolute Legion of Death Star Destroyers, as if confronting them could mean the destruction of your entire solar system. My favorite line, they win because they make us feel alone. Yes, no, they win because. The fact that their galaxy-destroying lasers seems like a detail that could prevent this army from forming, but yeah, it's a coincidence, so our heroes are directed to the Endor system for McMuffin to buy a now-blank c-3po.

Kylo Ren arrives, he was a little slower this time despite having his Knights directly behind our heroes compared to being systems away with nothing but a necklace, but who cares about astronomy it's gay when he sees the ship of the wrens. Rey manages to sense that Chewbacca is alive and they decide to go rescue him with space. coin that allowed them to land his ship why couldn't Rey sense that he was alive when he was about thirty meters away from her when he thought he had killed him? I have no idea. I guess the plot didn't care at the time.

I don't even know where to start with things like this, nothing has any cause and effect happiness, it just has this thing that allows them to break through first order blocks and she just gives it to them. Ray, just sit Chewie down with the gay. They have the weight of the universe on their shoulders and immediately decide to go to the belly of the beast to get Chewie out, they don't even take the space coin nor leave it on the ship it was specifically invented for. make it so that Chewie can save himself and recover the dagger and these characters do not discuss anything, they do not give a journey already decided.

Did I mention the pacing is horrible in this movie? I also find it funny that Rey is happy. she didn't kill Chewie and we can all go now, but who knows who she really killed on that transport or if they were prisoners on it, psycho, so Kylo goes to find Rey in the city while our heroes enter the Star Destroyer to save Chewie apparently the Knights have so little idea where they are that they have to search the entire city again, that's the dialogue one by one, well done guys, so you're telling me that you actually managed to land this ship. inside the Star Destroyer because of a space coin, are you sure this wouldn't have set off several alarms?

Ah well, that's where you're wrong. They actually sent two stormtroopers to go check it out. Oh wow, you just murdered them right in front of everyone. hangar bay I feel like you guys now I can't help but think of another scene where they did this where it was much more meticulous and well reasoned in terms of how they got past these systems, but here they just run. through filming everyone good stuff guys moving further into the boat race he separates from poe and finn to go find McMuffin 3 let me repeat that rey separates from them to go find McMuffin three.

McMuffin 3, if you remember, is the knife. the knife had a guide for McMuffin, and now they have it translated from c-3po, so why would they as characters have any reason to go find the knife? Why would they split up the team when they're supposed to find Chewie right? Unbeknownst to our entire team, it's actually very important that they get that knife, let's take a look at what Ray tells Poe as a reason why he's leaving them, why he feels a feeling, a feeling that he needs it. , she's going to risk everyone's lives for a Feeling Oh My God too right before that she does a mind trick on two stormtroopers at once to get information on Chewie and tells everyone to shoot the cameras.

I imagine this is in the hope that notalert the first order about where. They are, although I'm pretty sure the shooting cameras will alert everyone to where exactly you are. It's also cool that she's so good with the force. I guess that's completely consistent at this point anyway, general pride personally considers this ship in the hangar. I don't know why she was headed there, I don't know why she was essentially doing the work of the lowest ranks imaginable, but yeah, that just happens. He immediately asks who it belongs to, which makes me wonder how a space coin can get you through.

Any lock, if demonstrably fake like a ship just by appearance, how far the coin can go, does not need to be confirmed with any type of code or communication beyond a metal chip. This leads to Finn and Poe having to shoot. Twenty or thirty stormtroopers just stand there and shoot them. Honestly, it's sad. There's even a moment where a couple of soldiers appear behind our heroes and decide not to shoot them and then wait to be shot. The first order looks super competent as always. Either way, they end up being captured along with Chewie and sent to execution.

Poe gets shot by the way, but it's in the arm and everyone forgets about it in seconds plus at one point, so Rey actually manages to find the dagger in Chuy's bandolier and his bow launcher because he could sense the gay, that has a lot of sense. I guess Luke couldn't really feel the knife when he was in person, but she can feel it here. I like how they aren't even blocked. This is the knife she allows. a person to find Palpatine's secret mcmuffin that leads to his hidden army and it's just sitting on a white block along with Chewbacca's bandolier, what's this before he can leave?

Kylo calls her on Skype again because of course he wants to find her even though he could have captured her moments ago God this is such a pain in the ass you'd think he'd just keep Skype open at all times or at least make it a little more considering how badly he needs to find her, but no, he spends this discussion looking for a clue to her location and unfortunately for Rey, they have a little battle that involves knocking down Darth Vader's helmet and teleporting him to Kylo, ​​as far as Kylo knows. exactly where it is.

The sheer luck factor in every element of this script is beyond crazy, it hurts to think about. about, but yeah, with how teleportation works, I guess Darth Vader's helmet is now sitting in the middle of koji. I think it's cool, although the funny thing is that they make something like that happen on purpose to drive the plot, like the helmet itself was teleported away when they did. She didn't even need it Rey was already holding the Sith dagger when he opened the call with her, she has it in her hand the entire conversation, how come that doesn't tell Kylo exactly where she is so dumb?

Although I suppose the most interesting part of this scene is Kylo Ren telling Rey about his lineage, his parents were in fact nobody, but there is more to that story, we'll get there, but I want to say in advance that Rian Johnson must have I hated watching this movie, it bothers me everywhere. Last Jedi and as much as that amuses me, it's not exactly cool to see, you know, segmented piles of hot, rotting excrement pouring over a ruined corpse that once used to be something extraordinary. I'm not exactly happy with the extra mint, but I can laugh.

At that, Ray tells C-3po, BB-8 and to make the new droid to go find Poe and Finn. She doesn't suggest how they can escape, she simply says that they should be fine, but before we can even think about how Rey imagines them. you'll escape, you have to wonder how these droids can just find the others, maybe they do a scan like they did with a new hope or maybe they have some communications, no we have a scene where c-3po walks down . down a hallway and suddenly they're out there in the corner, this is just a wonderful new piece of excuse for a script.

Okay, so Huck prevents Po Finn and Chuy from being executed by explaining that he's the spy and that he betrayed the first order because he doesn't like Kylo Ren. he just hates him and wants him gone, we have no idea how long he's been a spy, we have no idea if there's anything altruistic about him, he just doesn't seem to like Kylo Ren very much and he's worth losing. his entire career, his faction and risking his life, he stops the blockade for them and asks Finn to shoot him to make it look like he was forced to let them go even though they took the time to explain that there are cameras everywhere. , idiots. not to mention by the way that when they captured Chewie they wanted to torture him, which apparently they failed to start, but when they capture Poe Finn and Chewie decide to execute them immediately.

I wonder if that has anything to do with the The fact that they were being executed by the only person who could save them is almost as if luck was a huge factor in this script. Kylo meets Rey in the hangar and explains that Palpatine is his grandfather and yes, his parents were nobody. but who cares his grandfather was the fucking emperor palps creamy sheaf which would naturally mean that one of his parents was the son of emperor palpatine who or repellents were no one had dirty trash treasures nothing ever what do you mean you didn't like it?

That doesn't make any sense, what if his parents were Emperor Palpatine's children? Johnson, I'm so sorry but I can't stop laughing at how much JJ must have hated your movie, apparently Rey's parents kept her hidden from Palpatine because they didn't want her to become an evil tizen and he's been looking for her ever since . but what helps not to know is that there was a couple between the two homosexuals who are one, so Kylo suggests that she joined him and killed Palpatine because the couple can overpower the creamy sheaf, but before they can make any decision safely, Finn and Poe pick up Rey and escape through hyperspace.

This time they don't use the jump, although they just go with the right one, so why don't they follow them? How do you literally say why? Okay, we didn't get the answer to why they let you go. before despite immediately choosing to execute them when they were captured and we're not going to get the answer as to why they let you go now, even though the first order has now lost the dagger as a result, it's almost as if nothing does anything. Hux explains that he was forced to let them go and the elegantly played general pride at Richard II's wonderful grant simply kills him.

I can't help but believe that JJ was so angry that Ryan turned his young Empire enthusiast General Mann into a clown that he decided to create a new character that would behave just like Huck from The Force Awakens and execute what was left. of the character he was supposed to be and Ryan shit about how you're doing there, Ryan, it's okay buddy, it's also pretty interesting that they discover the resistance spy, the proverbial thorn in the side of the first order and choose to execute him without questioning him, not even a question; In theory, he would have great knowledge about the enemy, but that would make sense.

Next, we run towards it. Palpatine killed her parents for her to destroy him and Finn says I know you and that doesn't sound like you just for Rey to say movies trying to be like oh Ray has a dark streak to her what's going to happen oh my god and all me . I can't help but say when he's ever made any decision that's even remotely dubious. Remember when Luke strangled the guards at Jabba's or how he demanded work and knelt to his demands or die. Remember how Anakin executed the Tusken Raiders. When does Rey literally do something? that could be considered the dark gay, was it the lightning bolt?

I don't think she even knew how to do that and it's clearly not tied to her motives as a person because she just thought she was saving someone at the time, oh boy, they'll do it. Essays on how much you can't say about Rey and a side note will be written during this journey. Poe is dealing with a blaster shot to the arm and since he is the resistance's most talented pilot aside from Jesus, it's very important not to mention him. that he's second in command after Leia, you'd think Rey could maybe lend a hand and heal him since you know she'll do it to a wild animal, but no, he can only have a bandage, let's just hope so be.

It doesn't affect his piloting anyway, we manage to visit Kylo for a moment and Palpatine tells him that he still needs to kill Ray. There is no hologram. They just make Palpatine tell him this in his head through the force. That is now something casual. Alright. Now. we end up at the end of the system where mcmuffin 3 says it's McMuffin and it turns out it's the broken remains of the second Death Star, yes this Death Star, how could this work even if there were pieces of this thing? The earth would have burned up in the atmosphere, created a huge crater, but if those things hadn't happened, it would have surely collapsed no matter how it could be in this kind of condition and how the hell it didn't.

It actually falls on the same moon of Endor from episode six, how did it manage to get to this place? Oh my god, it's terrible too, so they ask Ray what it is and she, uh nayana, Klee says it's a bad place, a bad place, it's a bad place. So are we still going to pretend that the prequels are the only ones with shitty dialogue? Now you might be wondering if McMuffin is also in a single room on this destroyed Death Star, then how could they find the right room? Surely it is impossible to search it. all this with the time they have so they're right well Ray pulls out a piece of the sword ruler yeah just come with me here and she lines it up with the ruins of the Death Star to mark the exact spot where you need to go.

Do you understand the sheer madness of this moment? Can I express to you how stupid that is? You had to have carved the knife before Ray was a kid, like 20 years ago, and you had to do it based on the ruins of the huge fallen ones. ship and then create a ruler prop that extends and points to the correct room based on where you were standing at the time. Are you provoking me? Not only do you have to worry about the ruins moving over decades, which is quite likely. The star of falling and death that is in the ocean, for God's sake, not only do you have to rely on the idea That the resistance rebellion or just Randy in general decide to never loot this place despite having incredibly valuable resources inside, you don't just have to worry. about Ray, finding out that this is what you need to do with this knife, not only do you have to be at the right distance for it to line up with the blade, but you also have to be at this specific angle if they had it.

They looked at this Death Star from any other position. They wouldn't have been lucky. What's going on? Who wrote this? Who would want this attached to the resume? Holy Mother of Hades, galactic with this information, they can also go looking for McMuffin, but the locals. Tell our heroes that they have to wait until morning due to the huge waves preventing travel, for now they can't get the Falcon there because apparently the landing gear is all over. The Falcon can float, just have him leave Rey and Finn. or whatever, why wait a whole day when the first order knows where you are?

It's not like the Falcons have never been harmed before you realize that the Galaxy depends on you right now. Yeah, why are they so stupid? This isn't even. It's no longer a fabrication, it's just sludge, insidious sludge dripping onto the page willy-nilly, everyone agrees to just wait for Rey to run off and leave alone again for reasons like: I don't know why she did this. She behaves very strangely in this movie. She too. She manages to pilot the boat there even though people who probably know exactly how they work told her not to because it's going to be too difficult.

She a hermit in the desert. She is so talented that she can navigate rough seas. Can we even pretend to be? It doesn't surprise me anymore, you know what? Why doesn't she fly there? We know she can why she doesn't teleport. Why is there nothing at this point? So the locals decide to follow her in another skimmer because apparently we can do that now. I thought she made a big deal about not doing it, but what the hell. I also have no idea what Poe is going to do with all this. He doesn't come with them and no one seems to tell him that we'll just see him back at the base later.

You don't know what's going on there, so you seem to go through the dangerous remains of the Death Star just like he did with Jack, who with the Star Destroyers, but it doesn't make sense anymore, he can literally just float with ease, he can also jump heights incredible. Why do you give so much importance to a small space like this? Anyway, she gets to the Emperor's throne room because Star Wars and enters Sheaves' bedroom where he kept McMuffin number two when she's going to leave, she's attacked by an evil lightning bolt, remember her well, she. She tries to talk to Rey and before you can take that in, she shows himbecome a traitor now?

If there was a 999,999 in a million chance of her escaping into hyperspace, then isn't that the obvious thing she was trying to do and was unlucky according to this movie? Admiral Hold. Oh, she is a coward and, what's more, since she failed to flee, also by her own judgment, she is now wet. Remember this, you have bet the resistance's survival on bad odds and put us all at risk. I was one in a million. Being a bag of rats, honestly, how could I be one in a million? How do you lose supremacy when it's so huge?

And if she knew it was a low possibility, then why didn't she just steer the ship towards them? In typical fashion, once again, JJ kicks Ryan right in the balls, although to be fair, Ryan earned it when he kicked the rest of Star Wars in the balls with that stupid scene, although I mean this is exactly what that we all expected. Johnson wrote it so that there could no longer be any betting on space battles without some sort of retcon and JJ Abrams just retconned it into oblivion, what a spectacle, they still don't have much access to reinforcements, so the plan is to send Chewie and Lando to the core systems and called for help like they did in the Last Jedi, only during that movie they actually had a better chance of not being fighting thousands of planet-destroying Star Destroyers and had an actual escape, but sure that can also be So. he tries to kick Ray, reaches the EXCI goal and heads towards Palpatine.

He also arrives wearing Luke's X-Wing helmet. We see the good guys traveling through space cancer and it's kind of crazy, we're getting a ton of huge ships. just going through something that a Thai interceptor had to dodge and go through, but hey, that's only about 20 ships. I'm sure I can believe that as soon as the fleet arrives, they are bombarded with what appears to be thousands of lasers and they make it. okay for a while, I don't know if that's possible, in fact I think it's not possible at all, but okay, then we discover that the tower is just sitting on the surface of ago X, it's not protected by anything and, of course it doesn't have shields because that's not possible below the atmosphere, the plan is to send a ground team to go and disable it but why not just shoot it with a missile or even lasers like just blow a guy up there, everything this?

What I need is a guy, he doesn't have shields, you can't. I still can't believe this whole plan comes from a random droid they found on a 20 year old ship in the desert, kill me general pride, then he finds out their plan and so he diverts the ship's navigation to his own ship to guide them out. , which he can literally guide ships with his own ship because I would like the other ships he knows how to fly to be Christmas, why wouldn't you build all the Star Destroyers to install the tower in your room so the rebels will detect this plan when they see the navigation tower deactivated, they don't shoot it, of course, they simply detect it by deactivating it.

Finn quickly realizes that it is the Prydz ship that has the new navigation source and so they invent a plan to assault his ship and destroy the navigation part of it, even if that is the case, how does he know that the Pride ship Do you have the navigation source? Well, he explains it to us, it has a fantastic feeling: they land their transport on the Pride ship and they intend to travel to the tower and destroy it, they can't do it with speeders because Pride can block them apparently as he only says to block the speeders.

He didn't know that existed and that wouldn't have worked if they just parked closer. to the tower anyway, but okay, the subordinate then says and that's because they are riding space horses towards the goal, why would you park so far from your goal? It seems like the only reason is to literally have this moment with the space horses, so yeah, they ride. them on a Star Destroyer and for some reason pride is baffled by this, he has no idea how to stop it, he tries to tilt the ship, they have horses, you pancake, you have artificial gravity, they don't tilt the ship and even if the gravity of some way applies to them off the ship, it's worth throwing your crew if it means saving your entire fleet for the good, how are you so stupid?, their horses you've out-teched them by seven in all the thousands of years. , act together for good, then we will see.

They all get attacked by Sith soldiers because why not with how much land is over? There's no way they won't wipe out the small number of rebels as they are, but oh my god, Shrek is here, yes, Shrek became the good seed for So Finn and the other person head to the tower and a person (I honestly don't remember his name) shoots an enemy with an arrow and destroys him, then throws grenades into a hole and blows up Pride's navigation tower, which means navigation is now and all the rebels have to do is to destroy the ships because the ships cannot escape the target To recover navigation, how do you restart your systems when the navigation tower has been destroyed?

Your dumb gunslinger Finn realizes this is Prydz's plan and decides they have to blow up the entire ship whether he comes back or not. the final order or whatever, just reactivate the first tower now, why are they trying to reset their own tower instead of just restarting the one below? That doesn't destroy all the tension this battle had, so Finn tells Shrek. to leave and begins his sacrifice again only this time Shrek can't stop him and it is played as an absolutely heroic move once again only JJ on Rian Johnson and I can't help but laugh at Rey and she meets Palpatine, he explains to her that he needs kill him so he can possess. her with every Sith that ever existed and became a super evil Sith God person.

I guess you'd think he would have tried that with Luke or Vader in Return of the Jedi, but he obviously hadn't learned that skill yet in this scene. by the way there is a strange audience of what seems like thousands singing for Palpatine like in the cities and who are these people, are they Sith, where do I come from, where do they sleep, do they have a 9 to 5 job, wait, wait, what eat? Aren't they clones? Do they have Snoke soup with a side of Snoke anyway Kylo arrives? I guess he had to awkwardly explain to his team that he's not with them, but he still needs a ride, he got everything from the ruined Death Star. but that just raises even more questions, then they have this slapstick moment where he jumps over a chain to get to Palpatine and Rey, but he hits himself and says "Ow, really feeling the tone here from there." Kylo fires off a few random shots and eventually collides with the Knights. from Ren, these guys are super formidable with their clubs and axes, I mean they're essentially Kylo has a blaster and the force, what can they do well?

The thing is, when we go back to Kylo, ​​he doesn't have the blaster, he just disappeared. Ladies and gentlemen, JJ Abrams has actually continued some of Ryan's work, the disappearing gun and of course without the blaster Kylo immediately loses, he probably should have kept it with a little more passion or hell he could have brought his lightsaber, isn't it anyway? This nonsense, Rey provides Kylo with a lightsaber via Skype teleport and manages to kill all the Knights. They even make him shrug, which doesn't make sense to him as a character. Kylo Ren has as much humor as a dead sock, you know?

I haven't talked about it much, but the fight has really been Tisza with me in this movie, like there's a moment where Kylo turns his back on Ren's knights with his lightsaber behind him and just waits for them. they hit him. and then they do it and then he's satisfied with it, why would they still hit him? Why wouldn't they just attack him where he's vulnerable? Oh, and let's not forget the stab wound he received after Rey and Kylo killed all the minions in the area. They get together and prepare to defeat Palpatine once and for all, which is confusing because I thought Palpatine said that if you kill him he just turns into you or whatever, so I don't know what his plan is here anyway. , the old creamy sheaf simply destroys them.

He immediately sucks the life energy out of both their bodies because that's something he can do and they can't do anything to stop it and now he goes super sheaf. These two were essentially gods in strength and he just sucks their buds dry, oh well. I hope pee even got his eyes back SIF for Sabri. What happened to the Ybor discount? Porkins dies, he likes it, he gets shot down. Does anyone remember it? He was in TFA. I just don't remember it because Ryan forgot to charge it. to tlj, so now he's dead anyway, all seems lost and everyone is panicking, but good luck is around the corner, as is the case whenever a fight scene looks terrible, a little It's in your communications, a familiar voice, a voice that tells you there is backup. the way oh sorry that's the wrong clip at that moment thousands of ships explode in EXO calls all allies all ready to help save the day oh sorry wrong clip actually how did so many ships manage to sail in the space cancer look at that crowd how The world could be possible.

They should have been destroyed unless they took my plan seriously and finally just surrounded the space cancer for love. Also, why didn't they wait for Lando to return with a message from the other systems before attacking Exid? completely alone it was only like an hour at most, as a result he killed most of his team early thanks to his exaltation, wasn't he supposed to learn tlj's lesson that you know you make the right decision and then be punished and now he is making wrong decisions and not being punished, kind of like at the end of that movie: among the ships we find Zouri Bliss, she is not dead and neither is Babu Frick, why does no one stay dead in this movie?

It's just this little The person making these stupid screams at a ship with a person whose entire planet was destroyed with no feasible way to escape from Chuy's c-3po, Babu Frick Zora, Bliss Palpatine, they all just die and come back in a car with this also if there are so many people. willing to come when essentially all hope was lost, then they must have been creating a resistance themselves, right? How was this Navy ready to do it? It was minutes, holy Moses, okay, then they assaulted the Death Star Destroyer army and started turning the tide. show off a wing-y completely on a Death Star Destroyer those people don't know what a wing-y shut up I'm pretty sure this moment is actually a giant middle finger to tlj bombers it's like look why We have wings they are useful, yes, although moments later, Palpatine changes course and throws Kylo into a hole because I guess he was angry about being thrown into a hole.

I don't know, from there he turns on his beam and unleashes the Titanic Gay on the galactic fleet Oh, side note, draining people's life apparently gives him red clothes, yeah, I don't know anyway, he basically kills everything, like everyone the ships for the good guys, it explodes or goes out, he somehow manages to avoid destroying his own fleet with this move I guess it's super accurate because that's how lightning works. The interesting part is that everyone we don't recognize explodes, however, people like Zouri, Lando and Poe just fall down, but never crash or anything like that. the most literal representation of suspending someone in animation because they don't want them to win or lose right now, but yeah, I guess it's worth mentioning that I was a little surprised that you can gain Sith powers to the point of electrocuting and destroying thousands. of ships like I remember reading about this as a leak and I just didn't believe it, but that's a thing now, so Ray gets upset seeing all this and decides to call all the Jedi from the past since she's the last one and we are.

I know they're all dead, among the voices is Ahsoka Tano, so yeah, congratulations on pissing off another fan faction that exists in your Disney audience. I guess she's dead now, so obi-wan qui-gon Yoda Leia Luke mace Windu Anakin and several others. everyone encou

rage

s her to elevate Palpatine because hey that's where this whole saga was leading, all those stories were designed to bring a hero to the forefront to destroy the villain and that hero's name is King Palpatine, the creamy sheaf tries to beat her up with a beam, but she blocks it with a lightsaber, she blocks the galactic fleet and destroys the beams with her lightsaber, okay mister palpos, then delivers what I can only describe as cognitive diarrhea, like literal excrement and watery of the mind, he says who, boy, I'm all syphilis written and directed by an adult and what does Rey say in response wow, you straight up ripped off Marvel, hell, so she deflects the Lightning Bolt at himand instead of giving him a bag of balls for a face, he disintegrates him.

I guess Mace Windu should use two lightsabers. that way he could have one with a single, he sucked it off but she has a lightsaber overloaded and exploded the instant the lightning struck to help death. I'm going, no, there's no K, but what's up with two pulsating lightsabers? ISM slowly melts to the point where I wonder what he was doing still shooting lightning at Rey when half of her face is a skeleton but she dies anyway Rey killed Emperor Palpatine, not Anakin Rey, the rest of the ships in the final order explode and all our heroes escape ex Isn't this just the satisfying ending to the Skywalker Saga that we always wanted?

I didn't think about it anyway Rey dies for reasons that even Finn feels it in the force, which means Palpatine can inhabit his body now, right? I thought his whole thing was inhabiting bodies in general and once he's killed he can just move to another one like she does exactly what he wanted her to do so I guess he wins well either way Kylo manages to climb through the hole and heal Rey back to life. kiss, why does it seem like the watch fans were the ones you needed to please? Also he dies after that he just disappears he's dead apparently this is a situation where they couldn't allow both of them to live like they couldn't share half of gay each.

He had to be completely gay for one of them, but even if that's the case, I'm not sure why Ray didn't disappear when he died. In fact, I have no idea how this all works. Healing has enormous implications. Well, they don't just fuck. Learn how to use it, you know what the cost of healing is because it doesn't cost Ray anything that she healed and he's perfectly fine, but when Kyla heals, he commits suicide, so each and every Star Destroyer They simply fall from the sky after having their respective. I assume the weapons were destroyed or just destroyed normally.

We even see one of them destroyed by a one-in-a-million maneuver. We see them fall on Endor bespin and other planets in general which makes no sense because if they are in range to be attacked by the locals then surely they were in range to have destroyed a planet or at least waged a war as we know with certainty that one of the planet-destroying star destroyers is still out there, what the hell happened to it the first time? The order is easily defeated because they obviously never stood a chance, the rebellion then celebrates their hard-earned victory and we can be sure the puppy is dead, it's definitely dead this time, a real not-so-fake victory from episode six , this is real, friends. we even get a random lesbian kiss from two characters I don't recognize, oh and it was cut from other versions of the movie to avoid controversy, maybe one day Disney will even have a main character who is gay, that corrupt, deceitful, heartless monkey that they give to Oh Chewie.

By the way, Leia's medal remembers that he liked not getting the medal from him in episode four and there are a lot of memes about it. This movie made sure that if they managed to pull off any scene, it would be the one that took Chewie's medal. To close the film we see Ray Barry, Skywalker's lightsabers in Luke's old house. I can't imagine Anakin would be very happy that his lightsaber was permanently buried under several feet of sand, although more importantly I think we can all agree that Luke's house should be in a museum at this point. a galactic sanctuary of celebrating heroism and would probably introspect on how this farmer managed to overthrow an empire, but JJ never cared about building wills, so why start now?

It's also pretty interesting that Ray is straight. burying Skywalker's lightsabers, you could say it's quite symbolic, she throws the legacies of Luke Anakin and Leia to the ground while continuing to live as if she is the hero of this galaxy. I'm sure I'm just reading into it, it's not like she took her name anyway Ray looks at her new lightsaber, a custom one she made well, why didn't you use that instead of hers? Anakin? What I and you had your eye on was what Luke made his own lightsaber of his because he lost the other one when she was done. her training now with a stranger comes asking Ray's full name and sees Leia and Jake in the distance letting her take the name of King Skywalker, you can't just take his name you petulant celery stick, you're standing in the duel of the Jewish son . dodge how this is not your name to take a piece of how bb-8 is dating you bb-8 is Poe's droid give it back greedy cow okay that's credits that's credits we did it we did it let's calm down relax and let's chat, what a way so biblical, what a perfect way to drive the corpse of this franchise to the pits of Tartarus, what a way to signal to the audience that you really hate this IP, where do I start building the wheel?

Once again we have been marginalized or ignored for the sake of spectacle and throwaway lines. We know nothing about the situation with the first order and its control. It seems a year has passed since the destruction of the Republic and planets across the galaxy have simply been ignored. People think about the first order beyond the fact that they just show up at the end, are they even in control of anything? What about the so-called free planets? How exactly are they free? Wouldn't it be better if it fell into a single seed from a star destroyer, why did they resist?

Why would any planet resist something as powerful as the first order? How would you resist what is happening in this world? How did Lando know there were only two McMuffins? I like how this super mystical secret exists. This base planet is hidden by storm waves and space cancer, but almost everyone in the galaxy appears there at the end of the movie thanks to a McMuffin being copied and pasted for everyone. How did general pride overcome space cancer with its Star Destroyer? How can anyone achieve this with static coordinates when space cancer is constantly changing? How did you do overall?

He didn't have a McMuffin and Kylo had changed teams when he needed to. That makes no sense. Just sent. general McMuffin pride in Wi-Fi, at which point everything to do with McMuffins is really stupid, it's like they're trying so hard to explain that it's never been known before and is so elusive, but then it is as common as gas. station at the end of the movie, I want to talk about how Dar Uzi has a key to his house address in his knife, why wouldn't Palpatine keep the McMuffins in Objective EXA, why would he have McMuffins?

Why would you want people to potentially stumble upon your planet? keep Mexico so you can decide who gets there and who doesn't, there's no need for all this made up, why would you let the assassin who sends people of interest kill with a knife that has directions leading to your planet for love? Why would the assassin want that if Palpatine is a clone then why is he essentially a corpse if he has his own new body then he wouldn't have full functions but if he isn't a clone how did he survive the explosion twice if Palpatine didn't ?

You won't die from what happened to him in Return of the Jedi, so why are we supposed to believe that this time he's really dead? How is it that Palpatine is accepted and known by all these people, but not even a year ago Luke Skywalker was a myth to everyone? just accept that he's back too, no questions because we don't have time, don't you find it worrying that the information you're gathering from the spy is pretty useless since it just says there's a fleet, there's a planet and you're going to lose if it were me and get that information and the first order found us moments later, I don't know, I would think it was a trap.

I remember when Rey's beam destroyed the transport ship and then overloaded Palpatine's beam. turn off some of them and alter their controls, that's great, if they managed to miniaturize the Death Star technology so that it can be used by ships, then why didn't they divert all the resources to manufacturing them instead of building the Star so much of Death as the star killer base, why didn't Palpatine continue using the big gay to push the Star Destroyers even higher if they can't figure it out themselves too because of the whole thing about not having shields and how if you shoot the The ship's open cannon has random wings that can instantly destroy a Death Star Destroyer that designed these things.

The stakes have been raised only to be lowered again, which is hilarious considering the holders' retcon maneuver to create stakes again only to destroy them once again himself. Oh, okay, if ghosts can hold lightsabers, raise X-wings, and shoot lightning bolts, then why don't they help the people they care about? I guess it will be an endless question. Wait, wait like Luke, seriously, you only told Lando about this, why? Luke was okay with burning the sacred act in the temple if they had the only clues about the McMuffins that are the only chance to reach the EXA goal and stop Palpatine.

He wrote Mrs. Diary Why Are You So Terrible Seriously Can You Leave Luke Skywalker Alone? You ruined it. I came to this island to die. Let's talk about the plot. If you can call this a plot. I would call it a JJ Abrams wet dream that the man can't function without. mysteries action every five minutes a billion views ticking clock and of course hot McMuffins When writing this script, one of the biggest concerns was that I wouldn't be able to explain the plot in a way that made sense, the movie loses its head in It takes several points for the meme of having a secret will that is found by one McMuffin that is found by a different McMuffin that is found by a coordinate that is found by an informant that is informed by a spy that has no prior existence as a spy and they turned it into a script, how do you do this and take yourself seriously?

How did Kylo know where to find the first McMuffin when the second was hard to find? Why would Creamy Sheave tell the galaxy about his resurgence when he's not even ready to destroy? everyone and he still doesn't have a fully functioning body why did he commit to his galactic domination plan at the same time he wanted to commit to his body swap plan? The first order was already taking over the universe and in terms of nonsense. Why the hell didn't he stop using his lightning bolt when he was killing him? He would stop using the beam when he began to disintegrate it.

She would stop urinating about halfway through. If Palpatine created Snoke and had him rule the world with the first order, then why? He sent the other ships, why wasn't he steering? Why would he bother with all the Snoke? He was you in everything, but he names what the point is. It's almost like he's a giant retcon and the fact that Snoke almost had Rey killed would have even Hal Peas. plans for the entire movie, luckily everything turned out the way it did, huh, how did Luke and Lando not dismantle the Yuichi ships looking for clues because if they had, they would have found the droid with a technical readout of XE Gul?

I wonder how. significantly that would have changed the events of this saga do you remember when they said there was no time to return to the oc3 person base bo said he would have to make his sacrifice well they were still going to go to coogeeme and then until the end or the system and then back to base and then still more than 2 times ago, couldn't they have just gone to their base? Copied c-3po's memory with r2d2 and then reset the memory. They could still go to the end or system actually why wasn't r2d2 on this mission with them what was he doing in the base just relaxing he was on the initial mission but he's not on the mission that will win the war take c-3po to the mission but not r2d2 I understand the value of a performer, but I, oh, we haven't even talked about crazy luck, both good and bad characters just run around this movie like bowling balls bouncing off everything they come into contact with, they just They are pushed to their designated place. endings through luck I don't know if anyone makes an informed decision in this movie, everything seems to be immediate, what they would do, I don't know, Lady Luck is given a name in this movie and that name is the gay characters with spontaneous knowledge characters with abilities or access that allow them to enter the next scene without problems characters who live or die based on the fact that something random and improbable happens it's wonderful it's a big roller coaster and it leads to the destruction of what's left of OT, speaking of which, it's good, by force, any chance that you're coherent, since you were left outside the window with Luke Han and Leia, we got it, raising people from the dead in more ways than one, we receive Skype calls by teleporting.

We are now able to hold normal conversations at will, no hologram calls required, we got theabsorption of all previous Jedi to defeat all previous SIF. How about we cure the SIF ghost spirits that inhabit the bodies as if they didn't take time to explain any of these things? This is not something you can do. can I just talk in the final chapter how does Ray know how to do this? How does Kylo, ​​seeing her do it, do it so she knows how to do it? You have to tell us how it works. Let's not even talk. about the characters, Ray is trying to find out what her lineage is so she can discover something about herself again and as a result of that, we don't have time to learn anything about her again because her lineage isn't really important to her. . character which is what they said in the force awakens and that she can find people who become influential for her by creating her character instead of looking back and that's if I'm being very generous just that that changed in tlj - It's not that she's not important, it's that no one would matter, which doesn't really make sense in-universe, but it does make sense in a meta-commentary sort of way because we all expected her to be a Kenobi or a Skywalker or a Palpatine. .

What the writers fail to understand is that even if her mother's name was Jane Doe, she would still be a character, she would still have a story, she would still be nobody to Rey either way, it still means that she is ultimately not important and they wasted another movie of development time to say nothing, which brings us to it. Here is a story that tells us no, it's not that she's nobody and it's not that she doesn't matter, it's that she is someone, but it's someone who doesn't define her, someone who doesn't matter, the entire trilogy has spent so much time telling us that Rey is not defined by any other person that they forgot to define her and right at the end they make her say that she is a Skywalker, what does that mean to her?

And it's interesting that you choose to identify yourself in the same family trees. the guy who just kissed but is fine and as a result of the ending of this trilogy has now been solidified as the surgical bastardization of the Galactic Heroes that paved the way for this stinking Maya's existence in the first place, every solo and Skywalker of the dead He's a Palpatine. I am left to move forward in this galaxy while she uses the hero's name. What a victory for the Emperor, but don't forget that just because Disney killed him doesn't mean he's gone because no one is really gone.

I'm right? You know what else? it's supposed to be Mustafa, this McMuffin is supposed to belong to Darth Vader why didn't Anakin help Luke when he was looking for Darth Ichi why didn't he tell Luke about his own McMuffin why didn't he tell people that Palpa was Still alive, what did you do to Anakin Skywalker's legacy? You abyssal mole, Kylo agrees to be a good guy this time, I have no idea why he just hasn't tried in a while. I guess it was Han Solo who really pushed him over the edge. generated from Kylos' memory even though he was recently told that Palpatine has been faking every voice in his head so it seems even stupid or now, but what else do we have for the bad guys?

Snoke was an incredibly powerful force user that Palpatine could surpass. of a Sith manufacturing machine for the sake of Hux is a plot device that barely appears in the film and of the screen time he actually had, he is humiliated and killed, but not before setting up the plot for our heroes and freeing them from it. when they are about to do it. being executed, General Hux, being the defecting officer of the modern empire, is used as a quick excuse for our heroes to realize when that could have been a story in itself, they could have treated him with some respect and done it for a big change. a character, but no, if Huck's goal was to simply kill Kylo, ​​then why was he providing information on how to defeat the entire first order, like he was literally telling people how and when the first order will attack and what is the objective of EXA? he's all about killing Kylo Ren, like you'd have better luck hiring a bounty hunter for love.

I want to mention the fact that a lot of ghosts that could have appeared just don't go through as many events in this movie, none of them care beyond being absorbed by Rey while she kills her friend P, which is a little strange, It is not like this? The Jedi just had to awkwardly look at Rey and Kylo as they were running out and thought to themselves that we had to do it ourselves, guys. skips without mentioning that qui-gon jinn was supposed to be the first to discover the means to become a ghost at that time, how are we here?

Mace Windu's voice says: didn't he die before any of that could have happened? How was the? a ghost and if it's just all of them, then how come they weren't there? An elegant cavalcade of voices. Luke straight up pushes Ray to go kill Palpatine, which actually led to everything creamy being able to be completely rejuvenated and you know, with her around. death, if Palpatine had chosen to end here, I will push him down the same hole that Kylo is in in the saga, it would have ended, that would have been very uncomfortable for Luke, but you know, Palpatine says that if Rey kills him, he can do it . he transfers to Rey and then just doesn't when those events actually take place.

I know I mentioned that before, but I can't get over it, it's crazy. I guess I should mention that Finn has a setup to love Rey like he has a moment where he tries to say it and he drops it and nothing comes out like why have that and not do anything with him what a way to waste the other protagonists of this series Leia gets her emotional death scene when they could have started the movie with a tasteful funeral or if she had survived the movie, instead they essentially mourn her and then continue with their normal Star Wars experience.

Poe might as well not have been in the movie. Chewie Maz suddenly marries the rest of these laugh, they don't. I really do a lot of anything in terms of characters, there's nothing here, the Knights of Ren are ridiculous, it's like JJ put them there just to spite Ryan for not including them, but all they do is not complete their objectives, There are approximately zero scenes for people to really learn and grow or change in any significant way. He's so busy explaining how the plot is going to work that there's just no time for the characters to make quick decisions.

There's no introspection. There's no discussion. And they introduce a bunch of new people for no reason Zhora Bliss This girl, Babu Frick, not to mention Darth do Chi Poe, is apparently a person who did spice runs at one point. Well, we had a scene to set that up that made no sense and then it paid off and nothing more than providing some context on how. he's friends with this person and that's it, not even Shrek was developed, speaking of which, holy, the retconning, I knew I was expecting something, but this was crazy, Anakin's lightsaber fixed Kyla's mask, the repaired, General Hux kicked in and replaced him with his old self, Shrek warmed up from this script. in an instant Luke being a coward admitted his mistake Luke threw his lightsaber, certainly disrespectful, Finn sacrificed himself without a person to stop him and succeeded in sorting out Rey's bloodline, well he's nobody anymore he's a creamy sheev Palpatine is JJ aware of how many videos The essays he just made obsolete, thousands of videos celebrating Ryan's masterpiece are now inaccurate, to say the least, they weren't before and I, whether or not it contradicts Ryan's abortion, can't help it.but laugh as this fiery coffin of a trilogy sinks further into the muddy annals of schizophrenic script hell that should have been declared illegal long before its release, although I suppose it should be said that JJ tried, tried to hit our main cast an adventure together, he tried. to give Rey the training everyone wanted to see, he tried to show her how much of a failure she is, he even killed her even though it was temporary because hey, the plot won't let MarySue die now, okay?

There's a lot of concessions there, JJ, a couple Ryan. retcons and a couple of things to make up for what was missing in this trilogy. It's a selection of things. I'm sure you thought people would have wanted too little too late, Hobgoblin, when you're trying to please literally everyone, except here, J, admires you. end up pandering to Robert, a nobody's movie, for some reason, it's clear from the whole resurrection thing they do throughout this that JJ wanted everything he wanted for everyone to survive, but also have a lot of scenes of Dramatic deaths that wanted 1,000 times the scale. for the bad guys and the good guys because it saw the end of the Avengers and that's how you end a great story, I wanted a plot that took us through galaxies jogging, meeting all kinds of colorful characters and why that happened because they needed to find a something we had never heard or seen before full of throwaway phrases to try to excuse this tainted and miserable story.

I think the saddest moment for me was watching Chewbacca being told that not only Han and Luke were dead, but they also returned to base Leia is also dead all of them are dead everything is dead thank god reh Palpatine made it while walking towards that sunset duel I guess if I was nice I'd mention that I actually thought c-3po killed him in this movie I smoked a couple of his lines and really cared about the idea of ​​him being put in a situation where he agrees to sacrifice himself to save his friends based on survival odds despite being a more cowardly character, but the mechanics of how that didn't make any sense, they didn't earn it, and the fact that our 2d2 has been backing up his memory implies that his wife during Revenge of the Sith is now also a bit unstable.

I like Babu. Frick, what little, the soundtrack was great, if not essentially tying everything in the saga together. I liked seeing Lando and Chewie meet and hug each other, that was nice. The visuals were quite impressive, as expected, although the editing and pacing are what shoppi is and almost killed me. the actors did a good job with what they were given and I laughed quite a bit, intentionally or not, you know what, yeah, this was a masterpiece and any of those haters, those baby boys who hate the movie because they are purely hateful. sexist all because the story subverted their hateful expectations all because they missed the deeper themes due to their hate but didn't miss any opportunity to suck dick oh those horrible people who incite bullying based on innocent cast and crew members those man children specifically the force awakens tried to retcon the original trilogy the last jedi tried to retcon the force awakens and the original trilogy the rise of

skywalker

tries to retcon almost everything Lucasfilm has no idea what they are doing no one respects the intellectual property or the writing process these movies and as a result we have a worthless trilogy that can honestly be watched without the last Jedi now.

If you pretend that Snoke and Luke suffered heart attacks because of TFA, everything plays out except, of course, all the damage that has been done to those wonderful ones. movies set in a galaxy far, far away as if it wasn't enough to murder Han as if it wasn't enough for a Sassanid Luke you had to rip victory out of Anakin Skywalker's hands that fool didn't kill the Emperor Anakin didn't bring balance to the strength because Palpatine never died. Anakin didn't save the galaxy because the First Order emerged shortly after Palpatine survived. Anakin didn't end the war and save the heroes from this will because they all ended. humiliated and/or dead, they didn't win at the end of that movie, if anything you could skip the OT because it's mostly inconsequential to the greater Ray vs Palpatine saga and none of these characters behave like themselves anyway , that is the legacy of Disney.

Star Wars the Undertaker is a cinematic marvel, copycats who were late to pick up the remains of something great without even understanding how it got there are wasting your money thanks for watching folks, I guess I'll see you next time. I'm Peter, by the way, names made up by Rice Toluca, so I'm Spider-Man.