Something's Burning S1 E01: Taco Tuesday with Theo Von and Andrew Santino

I'm talking, Bill Burr, yeah, and have more bison. The fantastic bison. The fantastic bison is good, where is it? They have it? In the picture can you see where it is in the background? It has to be Colorado, oh it's a Vietnamese beer, Tiger Lager. I love it, you know, tigers kill people in Vietnam all the time, yeah, daily, how crazy. I mean, you run the day my wife was in Vietnam, you run the point she rolled up, my wife lived in Vietnam, what was she doing there? I'll send her there to learn how to be a true holy wife, and that's why I'm going to try this, here we go, oh, thank God, this is enough for you, huh, pretty good, it's all sugar and honey, buddy.

Me I feel like I'm at home. I'm washing the dishes and what did I like? I literally just washed this for no reason. You think food will ever go in like full-sized suppositories. Brother, give it or take this in the back, would you? put that on your ass I would do it during the holidays I've probably tried it with the salad what holiday, although the cucumber didn't work, what are we talking about? President's Day, no, no,

something

between November and the end of December, well there's only two, that's just Thanksgiving and yeah, anywhere probably and I have to be home, well that sounds good , right, that's so good, I know, it's a dessert, yes, now that's what a cloud is, it's called desert fried bread, no, that's right, fried dessert. bread wow that's really good buddy here what are we doing beer what are you guys talking about oh oh yeah here we go Bert get in there bird Chef Santino maybe

something

something wow brother your tongue look to the end just see everything the way in this period, well you might want to no, you have to share it with your mouth, damn your tongue looks like Rampage Jackson, it just comes right out into the food, why did you eat anything?

Go ahead and eat that, let me see, yeah, do it. something sacred, yeah, yeah, it's like the previous course, yeah, that's cool, man, let me see your tongue real quick, do it again, all set, yeah, wow, dude, who needs a dick when you've got that cat bad hanging in your face? Well, I mean, that's it. The saving grace for him, well, I don't get much pleasure when I put my tongue in my face, so I'd still take the dick, really, oh, you could electrocute yourself as a kid with that bad boy on top, the first time I do it.

I went through a check I thought I just got this wrong, it doesn't work the way you think it would really work, yes your language seems legit, yes it's a big language, pretty big, but those aren't the people who grow up like a language inside them. They like it, you know, work the top edge of the key, none of us could be Marina, are you okay, okay, take us out right now, let's lay down, okay, they wouldn't take me out, they'd make you shave your head, OK? You're okay with that, yeah, okay, yeah, second, save it, what time do you wake up in the morning?

Probably a quarter to eight, not early enough, not early enough, do you exercise the moment you wake up, no, not me, so you? You're not some marine those guys talk about every morning. Do you make your bed every day? Yes I believe it. I don't think there's anything in your apartment. No. There is a chair in the corner of my room. That chair has to go. You are not. a marine but that chair disappeared how are you taking commands? 50 50. I'm not a marine I no no not many marines the new slogan is hey do what we say 50 50. yeah that's the marines they'll probably give me 20 unless I don't feel like it then just ten and that's fine , yes, some for five, none of us, no way, 60. in a row, yes, no breaks, yes, no breaks, take it out, so I won't do push-ups here on this kitchen. money in it, huh, oh no, Jesus, brother, put money in it, put money in it, it's the bet, this is what I had a lot of sugar today, I don't know if it's a good time for my muscles to activate and all that, here's a better question, yes, more fat than sugar, yes, how many more push-ups than me do you think you could do?

Probably 55 55 more than me, so if I could do 20 right now, do you think you could do 75? Do you think you can do 20 in a row? I can do 20. Can you do 30? I could probably get a 30 knowing he'll make an 80. How about this? One hundred and twenty dollars. It's okay for one of you to do 50. pushups you'll do, you'll give them to me after I just say 50 pushups in a row, yeah you can do 50 in a row, yeah no you can't okay we'll do it on the table huh ? I can't, I can't do it in the car, at the table, I don't want to burn my eyes, yeah, let me real quick, I'll see how many I can do, okay, I feel like here we go, wait, wait, wait. can't you see three four five six seven eight nine oh my god he almost pulled his back 50 brother okay I'll do them in a row yeah for 120 put the money on the table uh the money right now send it to burn Okay, I'll leave this credit card.

I might actually vomit because of that vomiting. I'll give you a booster, you throw up. I'll give you five extra dollars if I throw up, you'll give me five extra dollars. Yes. 125 We have to see the vomit, although not just saliva, okay, something is

burning

, guys, they want me to make them right here, something is

burning

and it's ginger, let's see the heat. Rachel, come on, show us that dirty little drink, look at her asshole while she sleeps. a boy do them, little redhead oh wow oh my god wow this bird is erect I think oh okay Theo oh the deal is a deal wow brother you are strong feel good buddy feel his chest let me see are you fucked? oh no I even know why you're wearing a shirt right now, oh what after eating that, I might throw up, yeah you look red, oh I might faint and throw myself away, why did you feel it with both hands?

It's a bad idea, what do you know, it's the Same thing is your body one hand, yeah, two hands, it's not like one of my tits is going to be bigger than this guy, this has been amazing, they fed me, I said 50 pushups on camera, I think 120 bucks, I'll never see that. money I will also send you the money okay he said it will also go on Venmo how do we end this? We are always trying to find a way to end this. What is a good ending? I'm going to apologize for everything I've said. That could be misinterpreted, okay, Bert, thank you very much for having us, thanks brother.

I appreciate it guys with friends for a long time and it was actually such a good meal. It's fantastic, guys. I would've been great. Lean Bison Cheese Beans. We should make this again fried dough, yeah, with a pound of Crisco, that was, I mean, that's repulsive on the floor, do you think it's still hot, you can drink a little, no, there you guys fart, Can you hear that's America, buddy, that's just part of the perfect way to end this, show me, it's good to hang, I don't mean happy Veterans Day, buddy, me too, happy Veterans Day, this isn't It's coming out, yeah, but Veterans Day still exists, idiot, okay, sorry, sorry.

Feel it, yeah, happy Veterans Day guys, happy Veterans Day, thank you to all the veterans who gave us this knife. Chris is the guy Chris gave us. Scott gave us this knife so we could cook with it. Let me see Scott. Was he in Afghanistan? He is schizophrenic. friend and also thank you Bert for inviting me thank you thank you both thank you both guys uh remember to subscribe to the comedy All Things we have new episodes every other Monday next week we have Adam Sandler and David Letterman, see you Guys, then okay, holy, yeah, very good, no one will see this, yeah, if he's next, well, they're not confirmed, but yeah, I haven't really reached out to him, but yeah, yeah, I mean, pretty much, who's going to be on The next one after that, oh.

That's right, George Clinton and George Bush, damn, that's good, yeah, and then we have Donald Trump and Kathy Griffin, so that should be good. We'll see you subscribe. Remember that Bill Burr's new special is coming out, I'm the Reddest Comedian. Netflix, that's awesome, oh that's awkward for you, no, no, that makes perfect sense, yeah, okay, thank you guys, we love you with all our hearts. Stranger, this episode was brought to you by the machine.