SNL's Colin Jost & Michael Che Take a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair

Collin Michael we brought you both here today to

take

a lie

detector

test

like one of you was hooked up to the Machine and the other was interviewed and then you would switch so who wants to go first okay do me a favor. arm up slash that's okay, he's about to find out your name, Colin Jost, yes, you're 35, yes, are you about to

take

a polygraph exam? I think so, are you nervous about this interview? Actually, no, no, why. No, I know, I think it's uh, I think it'll be fun, they will be if it's a fun educational experience, okay, excited, now I have a question, oh, one, don't make that face.

Did you just look at my face? No, I did not do it. Look at my penis that time okay, you're funny because deep down you're miserable now okay, you sound really disappointed, you're really banking on that. I appeared in one of your dreams, I'm sure you did, what happened, I don't know. Remember well, you have heard many dreams where I have had nightmares about losing, we can update, like about being late and running to the set at the la

test

and you were already there before me, that's how I knew it was just a dream. and I feel like I've had those nightmares like that, but I don't remember any other dreams specifically in theory, do you think you're better than me because you went to Harvard now?

Okay, don't do it. Do you have a favorite Avenger? No, I don't watch independent movies that you think I'll ever like. He also has a date with a beautiful celebrity. Do you want to know? Yes, do you believe in ghosts? Yes, deeply, leaving us. I'm not the one being judged here, that's the trial I don't know, there's a trial do you think I'm a good friend why the hesitation there's no hesitation yes, just yes or no? I was enjoying previous moments of friendship and assimilating them. to give an informed answer having reviewed it to say yes, I think you're a good friend, deference, what, oh, here's a good one, okay, do you have any political opinions that you're too afraid to share publicly? yeah, definitely, well, no, I don't want to say anything, nothing crazy I don't think it's interesting uh no, I don't know, I'm afraid to share a lot of things quickly, but politically I don't know anything, nothing related to me, have you ever done something behind the scenes that could be considered illegal, yes, absolutely?

I would say almost every week very well, maybe not, that's not true. I don't remember what the question was. I don't know. I would say probably two or three shows a year. Something will probably happen. It could be illegal or cockfighting. No you can have them in America right yeah you just can't use chickens yeah this is great yeah I'm sure I'm sure I've lied to you at some point about what I like and what I think I had in mind a specific place. yeah, it was for me or you, it could have been Orca, well I don't want to say anything, I never lied to you about anything important, it would have been like a silly little thing, it's moving around a lot, I'm sure you never did.

He lied to me. Do you think you're the most handsome guy on SNL now? I don't know, no, but I don't know. I'm trying to think of who. I'm trying to remember everyone in the cast. I'm a bit. nervous about that you shine remember everyone in the cast no, I don't think so, I know, no, no, that's what just wow, okay, do you think I'm second? not because I think you're the first one you believe in. The Illuminati like that, it's a real organization, yeah, I don't think so because I think people who are so powerful don't have enough time to organize meetings together, like I'm just a programming level.

I think it would be a nightmare, right? Have you ever done anything on set that bothered you? I'm sure there have been things that once bothered me, yeah, like what I don't know is when I told you no, that's actually very reassuring in a way when I drop your toothbrush and leave it in its place. Do you give Pete marriage advice? It would? Yeah, that's pretty cool, have you ever stolen a joke? Yes, you borrowed just to say it on TV. Do you think Trump will be re-elected? Yeah, why would he lie? Would you be happy if Trump was in real life no look it's my job and at some point during this interview you lied and we didn't catch you yes no what exactly is it?

I told you to look at my cock, so I need you to raise your arm up. the air is beautiful she is quite intense turn it around for me kill you is your name Michael hey yes you are 35 years old yes you are about to take a polygraph exam I'm taking a polygraph exam it's not about - it was a trick question Laura you Have you ever killed a man? I don't think so. What did he say? He is telling the truth. Are you nervous today? No, really, why not? Because I feel like I don't know, oh God, I told the truth.

I'm nervous, yeah, oh, I guess. I'm nervous, never kill a woman, well I'm really nervous, I don't think you have, don't think you have, no, if she died, it was just because of a broken heart, is there a joke you've ever told on SNL? which you later regretted, yeah, whichever one comes to mind in particular in the first two seasons, you certainly liked the content you cared about or you just didn't, in retrospect you didn't think they were that good, both, yeah, both, sometimes. It's like you're telling a joke that he shouldn't talk to you. I'm just here to know if you're telling the truth or not.

So far so good. So far so good. I wouldn't have called Donald Trump a cookie. only for hate mail only on a level of hate mail I just think honkies is a funny word okay you recognize this guy I bet you think Lauren or I like you more I think Lauren likes me more because I say a lot of words de Mena looks with that little smile it seems like I said something bad. Do you think there is a line that comedy should not cross? No, I think everyone should be teased at least four times a week.

Have you ever gotten away with it? If you do? say misdemeanor or felony which one is tax evasion I don't know, it's a federal felony sama say mr. Shia comedians ever run for office, not at all, that's a fucking pay cut for one, two, there's no limit, let's make the country better, yeah, well, you make fun of the person, you give them a job Much easier, less scheduled and you don't pay taxes. Do you feel like I could run for office? Not because? Because I know what you do. Do you think our political system is broken? um no, I think it's fixed, that was politically, that was funny, God, Dan, he was a decade old, oh yeah, chill, I think it's fixed.

Can you do something like Spike Lee, fan? Yeah, so you're from Manhattan. Yes. I wrote this. So you're from Manhattan. Do you think you know New York? I wrote it better than me. Yes, you feel like you knew New York better than I did. absolutely why why because I feel like you're from New York but you're from Staten Island you mean part of New York City. I've been like technically it's Europe, it's an island, so there's a bit of a tropical vibe. Manhattan is an island. Staten Island. It's rubbish? Know? I don't sit here and say bad things about where you grew up, literally what you're about to do next.

Okay, let me address what's wrong with the place you grew up. Well, there was broken glass everywhere. wrong there's not enough attention on that are you happy president of Donald Trump no I mean a little oh I'm happy the system is so broken being so broken gives me a little hope that maybe someone more unconventional can do it and I can't catch them it's like old man what can I do? But I think for the sake of the world it might not be a good idea. I regret having voted. Do you have a favorite Kardashian? Yes, is it Chris?

Which one is Chris? I watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I saw it on TV, but I never saw it like I'd seen anyone else watch it. Oh no, that's not true, stop yelling at the machine. I've seen it on television, but... I've never liked, oh, let me keep up with the card. I've never kept up with them. I see there seems to have been an agitated response. It's a

fair

assessment. mm-hmm, yes, well, because I don't know if I saw it. oh, you're not digging yourself a hole look, I've seen a lot of bad things before, okay, but that's not something I've converted him to, he's not a man, but you can hear it when you're yelling at a machine, right?

Now, do you feel like your social media is an accurate description of you? Yes, unfortunately no, you don't want to fight about it. No, who would you rather have as your partner? Can I or can Thompson, uh, Keenan see that the machine knows it's true? Did I really lie for you? Oh, trying to make you look like an absolutely good guy one day, hey, do you think you drink more than me? Maybe so, do you think you can drink more than me? Yeah, do you think we'd be good roommates? No. I don't want to move without I don't think I don't think I don't think we have a good space Why not?

Do you think we could last three months? Oh, I think that would be interesting. No, thanks. because I would do some racism, do you refer to me more as a friend or as a coworker friend? Do you pass the friend test? Oh, at some point during this interview, you lied and we didn't catch you, I don't know. I know, I don't know what the lie is anymore, I don't know how to win, she's squirming, wow, I think I'm going to say I didn't lie all the little I saw, the thing broke, it was moving a lot, whatever, man .