Roast Me For $1,000 | Doctor Mike

I'd

roast

you but my mom said I'm not supposed to burn trash. Oh it's good. It's time for you to

roast

me, so write the most creative thing there, I say the baddest roast here in this box and I. I'm going to pick one winner to donate $1,000 to a charity of their choice. I hope people keep it PG, if only for the sake of D monetization at least and I feel like your nose looks like a bald eagle's beak. My phone's battery lasts. longer than your relationships what was my previous relationship like two years you honestly seem like the human version of lactose intolerance your feelings of inadequacy come from the fact that you are russian and your father never loved you and you never that's all you ran out of Bugs, thank God, you were more inbred, you would be a sandwich

doctor

.

Mike's profile picture makes him look like he just killed a human. Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside jealous. I don't even have a bush yet, how to choose. something real I'm actually a little self-conscious because my eyebrows aren't thinking about why are you laughing dad? are you all like this your shirts are so tight they could give you chest compression Mike seems like the kind of guy to tell you he does CrossFit no I'm not a fan, it's not that I don't recommend you do it, I just don't like doing different exercises simultaneously, especially those for which you need good form, oh, I'm doing a poll on What's going to happen first?

Your 15 minutes of fame on IG or that airlock. It seems like you were very insecure when you were a child. That's not a bird, but it's pretty accurate. Let me clarify something, but it can't be your nose. You don't even speak Russian, brother? diag from I ski in Peru is the boat that roasts me I love what you've done with your hair How did you get it to grow so far from your nostrils? You look at the kind of person who washes his hands after taking a shower. a weird one I like you seem like the kind of person who washes his hands after the shower first of all I'm not that kind of person but it makes sense I don't even know why it makes sense I like it dr.

The buttons on Mike's shirt aren't so ready to burst that we should call them the United Kingdom is because of Brexit someone said your dentist uses kid emojis. That's probably accurate. Your forehead is so big that it now has five heads. I'm sorry you forced me. do it Brooke, I got a high five, high five has a medical degree, he forgets that Molly Burke is blind in the middle of the video, dog, oh my god, that wasn't one of the most embarrassing moments, probably in front of the camera, I feel bad, Molly, I'm sorry. I did that I would roast you but my mom said I'm not supposed to burn trash oh that's good your videos are as bad and entertaining as essential oils.

I wore this yeah that's what I was waiting for it's time to get more size shirts mussels no longer attract women or men we want deke dek idk what deep dr. Mike, the kind of guys who catch us with the condom Taylor before you see when dr. Mike flexes his arms, they look like SpongeBob's arms, does SpongeBob have diesel arms or not, oh come on, I like you, people say I have no taste, but I like you see, that's funny, but it comes from somewhere. Oh, someone said I suck at the bit, yeah, yeah, he plays with me. real dr.

Mike, that's my username, God from season 3, I already have 10 wins under my belt, the only one who truly loves you no matter what your looks or credentials is your dog Roxie, oh that's a burn for my exes , the only chest workout, dr. Mike does is when someone is dying chest compressions what are you kidding? Monday is always breast day if you were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. I don't think you are factually accurate. I can't believe it is. I'm criticizing this, but I think most of the accidents happened within a mile of his house and not on the roads, burn it down, ma'am.

I'm not saying I hate her, but I would turn off her life support to charge my phone so she won't have my bridge anymore I'm not going to lie you could sell advertising space on your forehead by the mile Oh Oh, telling me those road jokes you look like Danny DeVito if you worked at GNC maybe you should put on something more comfortable than your medical gown like a coma, oh this hurts, you seem like the kind of person who reminds the teacher to assign homework. I hated that person, you're so needy for attention, uh, validation, like we get it, you have one small step, maybe it's time to stop buying kids shirts and clothes. sizes not kids sizes you just hate medical dramas for romance because you feel lonely look if you wrote well I would say you are one of the best but without grammar there is no love I feel lonely where are your eyebrows at the beginning? a decapitated caterpillar oh why did my wife leave me but randomly asked me you look like you wear sweaty pizza socks but where did you get a bike seat with a jaw line like who do you look like you're exhausted the tickets at the pub, at the saloon?

I don't use brah ointment Do you see anything shiny on this pillow coming out of me as I read this? They say you can't be smart and handsome. Turns out they were right. You told us that exercise will add years to our lives. right, I feel old now so you're not roasting me you have to roast me not the exercise mishka is my name in russian music Mishka's septum is so crooked he could be a politician in Chicago who's a double bird burning me and the politicians in Chicago if your family were Star Wars figures you would be the special edition that's just me your hairline is so deep people could see what you're thinking hashtag dr.

Blake, let's look at that airline. It seems that you left your modeling career and decided to play

doctor

. I love your videos and you, but you're a walking flu shot. I am a young Canadian. I can't be bad. Your face looks like a pentagon. If a Pentagon had a smile, you're just a doctor for prostate exams, can you imagine? I wonder who's smarter, a guy who always says chest compressions or a blender, Dr. Mike, I've never smoked, Dr. Mike's laugh, smoke for a hundred and sixty-four. years and vaping for the last three don't make fun of my wheezing you talk like a real grown up child doctor Mike can't compete with James Charles when it comes to pole dancing this is quite true dr.

Mike, you're like a piece of salmon sashimi, beautiful and oily and smelly if you leave it in the sun. Well, you have the personality of a regurgitated cookies and cream milkshake. I think it would still be delicious, if a little disgusting, but in essence. and soul, you know that the personality of a dried asparagus is good, why does your hair look like an old toothbrush? How funny. I know you're a doctor, but chest compressions won't save that hairline. I bought some grease. Oh, they're coming in. friend, you seem to smell like meat tips, any meat tips, let's do a survey.

I had like eight favorites so far, but narrowing them down to five was difficult and there are only 65 characters here, so I have to shorten them. It's 8:30 7 p.m. and I'll have everyone vote for 23 minutes. Okay, you guys have spoken and he spoke very loudly. He seems like the kind of guy who washes his hands after a shower. He won by a significant margin. Looks like 59% the person who said the shower joke's name is Jerry is good double-oh-seven one two, let's send a message to a DM-Jerry, oh my god, he's sent me a ton of messages.

Hello, Jerry. I'm going to act like an angry cat. face I guess he'll respond quickly I don't know I just think he'll respond quickly if he doesn't this will ruin the whole joke I guess I didn't take this into consideration that Jerry might not be by his phone, where are you going? Jerry, where did you get it. Oh, he's from Luxembourg, he's a fancy country, so our good friend Jeremiah's name is Jeremiah Jerry, but he's in Luxembourg and I just looked up the time which is 2:00 a.m. m. there and I guarantee it. He is not following my advice, he is probably playing with his phone before going to bed, he wrote the cruelest but most witty comment towards me.

Now he's not responding to my DMS, so I guess we'll shut down production for tonight and wait for him to respond tomorrow and maybe I'll even confront him. Okay, it's officially a day later and we managed to find Jerry again on the 'gram he just wrote. I live in Florida, dude, oh that's cool, I want some whoops, I want some good news, come on Jerry, we really didn't think this could end. I video chat you, oh wait, how old are you?, wait, oh this is going to sound really weird. I can't do that, you won the best barbecue contest.

It's Steve, he's even excited about this. I feel like he is responding to me like me. I'm a creeper I'm not a creeper Jerry says I feel like you've been hacked I'm not hacked Are you willing to be in the YouTube video? He feels like I'm cheating on him but I'm not cheating on him. All I want to ask you on camera is what charity you want me to donate a thousand dollars to. Jerry saw him write something by the way, team trees. What's happening? I heard that a lot of Musk is about to give a Mille. to the cause, that's exciting, do you want to be in the team trees?

Okay, Jerry's writing. Sorry, I'm not willing to do that. I just don't feel comfortable. Alright. I can respect that either way. You will win. What charity would you do? I would like you to donate the 1k. I've never seen anyone get so scared when a doctor approaches them and asks where they want to donate money to the bullies. Something, would the American Red Cross be okay? Yeah, considering we literally just crashed into them. a few days ago donate now $1000 I'm sure it works I don't want to think about you that's weird congratulations maybe upon receiving this email from the Red Cross he's going to buy that I made a $1000 donation he says oh my gosh that's great Me I'm so glad I was able to chat with you via text message.

Thank you very much Jerry, we appreciate that your disc team tree challenge is going incredibly well. I'm representing the team if you want to see my team trees video which is a meme video. click here or want to see what a day in my life is like click here and I will see you in one of these videos staying happy and healthy