Ralph Barbosa Burning Jokes In Chicago

It's good to be here in Chicago I like it Chicago man I don't play with your money There's a homeless man on the corner playing the saxophone He had the tip box I was dancing with the saxophone but I never did He stopped playing He said: You're not going to tip, you're not going to dance, it's hard, well, it's been great, man. Chicago put me in a good mood. I was in a bad mood when I got home the other day. They stopped me and I was not moving so I didn't think it was that fair.

It was just parked. I was parked in a parking lot and then this cop pulled up behind me and flashed me, but I honestly thought, "Damn, it's good because I." He was about to start speeding up, yeah, he's two steps ahead of me, he's going to be a detective. I felt like he was messing with me a little bit because I'm sitting there in the parking lot riding, you know, he comes at me, plays. my window says: hey, you've been in this parking lot for quite a while and it's starting to look suspicious, why are you parked here?

I said, sir, this is going to sound a little crazy, but the guy who invented parking lots, this is what he wanted us to do with them, he really didn't like that little joke. I was like I was doing what I'm supposed to do. You should get in your car and try it, man, yeah, he really didn't like that little joke. He joked like I don't think he was racist at all, but when I said that joke I could see the love he had for Latin was fading in his eyes, yeah, he started asking me if he was high.

I don't like smoking weed and I go out in public, so when cops ask me things like that I don't even get nervous, you know, but this time I was pretty high to give you an idea how high I was, like I couldn't even concentrate on the officer who spoke. to me because there was a lady in the parking lot walking around yelling for someone named Rocco she was like Rocco Rocco Rocco to the point where I don't know what the cop was talking about I was like what's going on with Rocco why isn't he answering?

I'm too old. He said: Hey, pay attention. He was asking me if he was high or if he was high, but I don't know, the way he asked me made me feel like maybe he was looking for a party. I only say that because cops have an official way of asking things like police lingo, they say, "Hey, are you under the influence of any drugs? Do you have any substances on you? Things like that, but he didn't ask like that what did he do?" . It's right here in my window, on the right, and then he and then he hits one of these, he goes and then he licked his lips, he hit a bad ass P Diddy time he goes, you do cocaine.

I thought he had never tried it, but he does have some. I'll try once it was asking for my ID but look the reason I was in this parking lot is because I borrowed my cousin's car to go to the store and when I got there I realized I had forgotten my wallet . So, you know, I sat in the car and killed myself for 20 minutes on Instagram before driving home. The only reason this cop approached my car was because after he had seen the park there for a while, he checked the tags and when he appeared under my cousin's car. name, he showed that my cousin has a warrant for his arrest, yeah, and like I said, I don't have my ID and you don't know how hard it is for a Hispanic guy in a 99 Impala to convince a cop of his name.

Isn't it Carlos? I was like sir, I'm not this bully, you think I'm showing all my Banana Republic emails, you think I have banana points, come on foreigner, yeah, I don't even smoke weed that often, man. Not anymore, at least sometimes I'll put up videos of my stand-up on YouTube and people will be like, "This guy is so baked." I'm not, this is just my face. I think because I smoked so much during puberty, my face got stuck. okay, you know how they tell you the face won't get stuck like they keep making it. I don't smoke as often as I used to.

I truly believe that smoking weed as a teenager saved my life, although I honestly believe it because a troubled, angry little kid I used to fight for stupid reasons someone would say hey man, I was with your girl last night. I will accept it. I'll be like what did you say about my girl instantly with the first hit I remember? smoking and being like a foreign man you can have my girl bro no problem ok let me introduce you. I like her, so I know you'll love her, you know, yeah, smooth, Meow, man, I don't know, man, I started smoking when she was a teenager. which is cool, I grew up with the exact same group of friends my whole life and the same friends grew up, it's like a small group of six of us, we're still close to this day as brothers, but I always remember it at the time .

I started smoking my friends started coming out of the closet yes it's like I say this group of six of us started with one he broke the ice he let us know that he is bisexual and that same day at that same time two other of my friends I came out and told him that They were gay, so the remaining three of us just looked at each other like we were trying to figure out who would be next. I'm not going to lie in my head. I thought, what if it's me? It's very confusing. You're not confusing, it's being a 15 year old kid who thinks you're going to hit the streets with the Thugs and it turns out you're not just some guy from a predominantly gay neighborhood.

It's wrong and that baffled me. Bad, you know what I mean. I'm 15. Half of my friends are coming out. It's confusing. I had to have an honest conversation with my friend. He was like Paco. You and I have been together every day since then. There were seven of us, do you think I'm gay too? He's like, man, I'll tell you like this man, we're at school, so he points out my classmates, it's like you see Jessica and Emily there, if you could. sex with someone you would have sex with I said either one is fine What about John and Jessica?

I said Jessica, but I know we're going with this. Should John 2 really figure things out. He's like do whatever you want, man, so yo. I'm honest, I'm not joking, okay, but yeah, I don't know the good times of adolescence. You know, I started smoking. My friends were coming out. We were all putting things in our mouths that we like to learn about ourselves. Great, man. Lady, I miss the place where I grew up. I like that area. I grew up right between a really bad neighborhood and a really nice one. I've always understood all the neighborhood lingo, but sometimes I'm here and I still don't understand.

Well, you know, it baffles me, I guess because of where I am in the area, like the other day, my neighbor was catching up to me, it's like Ralph, I know you've been pulling some big shots on these comedy shows, homie break bread with your King, full babies, you know me, we went back like four stories in a Cadillac 'cause I was like man, I don't like it when you talk like that, Kyle, I realized I grew up on the bad side of the area. based on the relationship advice older guys used to give me, like this older neighbor named Roger.

One day I was venting and I thought, yeah, I don't think it's going to work out with this girl, man, he says you have to do what I do. When I have trouble with my girl, I look you right in the face and say, look honey, you can do what you do on those streets, but at the end of the day the streets don't love you like I do. I don't think we're having the same kind of relationship problems there, yeah I get jealous sometimes but you Roger I think your girlfriend is a prostitute I realized I realized I was on the bad side alone for the gas. gas stations manly, if I'm ever in the area and I'm not sure what kind of area it is I'll pull into a gas station, that's how I calculate the stats, you know what I mean if I pull into a gas station and so?

The store has more spicy fries than regular fries. I know my chances of getting shot have increased to 60 percent, but my chances of getting good weed have increased 120 percent. I got a job at McDonald's when I was 16 and, as I used to, a little depressed as a teenager. I admit, I even had a little bit of that self-hatred, but McDonald's saved my life after two weeks of working there. I thought no, I don't hate myself that much. I'm out. deserve the best