Paulina Porizkova on modeling and a husband's betrayal

Model Paulina Porizkova appears to be on top of the world in that 1980s music video where she met her future

husband

Ric Ocasek of cars, a good luck appearance that shouldn't be taken literally, as she tells him to CBS' Anthony Mason this morning. In this fashion shoot you are probably familiar with Paulina Porizkova who was on the cover in the 80s and now she is 54 years old. The supermodel is once again on assignment here for Harper's Bazaar. You haven't always liked

modeling

. It's true. I don't really love

modeling

, but what it gave me. In what world Porizkova was only 17 when she made her first appearance in the 1983 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, which was as big as you could get, so you know, and I didn't know it, I thought it was a catalog of sportswear once the number appeared.

I understood the meaning pretty quickly though, she was on the cover the next year and the next year, in the 1980s, I was exotic because I was from an Eastern European country and I had this story that I was a refugee and That catapulted me. in the great times Porizkova was born in Czechoslovakia after the Soviet invasion in 1968 her parents fled to Sweden Paulina then three were left in the care of her grandmother almost seven years passed before she was reunited with her parents at the age of 15 she moved to Paris continue a modeling career in some way.

I keep thinking that I'm waiting for them to find me an impostor after all this time, after all this time, why do I always like to say about myself that I am a very high-level woman, but this is zero self-esteem, my parents tell me They left me when I was little, you know, they left because they were escaping the accident regime, but I think the fact that they left me like that stuck with me forever, I'm really not that good and as soon as you find out that I'm not great, You're leaving me too, but the covers kept coming and in 1984 she was also asked to audition for a music video and I got the role which was a girl in a video for an event called the cars that ended.

It was a pretty big thing that ended up being the rest of my life. Yes, I met my

husband

and it was love at first sight. The car's leader, Ric Ocasek, was also of Czech descent. He was 40 years old. She was 19. I loved that confidence. having an older, wiser partner, rejection and loneliness were such traumatic specters in my life and being with a man who owned me and owned me completely was truly comforting. They became an '80s Ocasek couple and the cars kept hitting and Porizkova became the face of Estee Lauder for six million dollars a year.

The contract was then the most lucrative in fashion history, but now, at almost 55, she says modeling sessions are much rarer. I did one of my looks, this is my face without makeup and "I've never had Botox or fillers and this job I was doing turned out well, we can't use you so how do you feel about those things? It used to be a little critical about it. I used to say, oh, you know I can." I don't think everyone is getting injections and changing the way she looks and now I think no, you know what it's really hard to be a woman and it's really hard to be a woman over 50 because we really get kicked off the table.

I have a weird period between your JLo looking fabulous and then Betty White and there's kind of a dead zone between the two, so I'm trying to fill that dead zone on Instagram in January. Porizkova posted a selfie without makeup, so this is what I really look like if she wrote the real truth. Pain is certainly not a creator of beauty. Her husband Ric Ocasek had just died in the woods. It was Porizkova who found it. It was horrible. It was the worst moment of my life. They have two children together but have been separated since 2017 you said the age difference became an issue when they were older, suddenly in our marriage it seemed like only one of us wanted to get married and that was me, well I just know it's very difficult to be married to someone if you're the only one who puts in all the work and maybe it was age maybe I was just tired maybe I was too maybe I took too much energy to love I don't know if it's possible that they were separated but they still live together, Yes, he was still the men she loved and had grown up with and she really couldn't imagine life without him.

She even accompanied Ocasek to the car's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2018. She wanted, she says, to stay. friends because I couldn't imagine it, no, I didn't know how life would work out that way, yes, they had started divorce proceedings when Ocasek died suddenly, but the real shock came when Porizkova, who says she had invested all of her modeling income in marriage, he found out. she had been excluded from her husband's will along with two of his children from a previous marriage, which made the grieving process really very complicated because I would love to be able to be sad and miss him and not also feel this incredible pain at his

betrayal

. you feel betrayed oh yes, I feel betrayed.

You probably have some idea why it would have gotten to that point, so you won't get an answer to that question. I'll never get an answer like that, she sucks. Paulina Porizkova says she is overcoming depression and sadness, where are you mentally? Yesterday I had a kind of nervous breakdown and today I feel a little stronger and in a way this is freeing me, it's really very scary, I didn't necessarily want it but this is what I got and that's why I have to learn to use my wings now.