Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special Moments! | BBC Comedy Greats

one minute. I want to ask you something, sit right there, um, listen, have you ever had a nightmare where Rodney dated another girl? Well I have um um now just as an argument, tell me what your reaction would be if you did the same thing as Rodney with another girl, I wouldn't mind, oh.well, because Rodney will take another bird from the pictures tonight. D what no, Rodney wouldn't do, yes, yes, he would, oh yes, because he did it to make you jealous. You see what he expected, I expected you to see it and this T Bird standing in line at the movie theater and I said Cassandra is too smart for all that.

Well, she's the girl from, it was just a silly disagreement, that's all. I thought you said you wouldn't mind, you don't care, you bastard. I love him well, he loves you too oh, looks like we just had one round of badminton. He started an affair with another woman. No, he hasn't. He just pulled some T to see Honey. I shrunk the children. He wanted to see that. oh god, hey, well, you're taking this really well Cassandra, thanks for telling me, say it, yeah, okay, okay. I couldn't, I couldn't, watch you walk into an ambush. Could it be that Rodney did this?

It's just nonsense. way to try to get you back get you back so no no no not get you back for something get back with him but I haven't gone anywhere I'm still here I know, I know you got sweetart, I know you're me I know you are I'll tell you what look look forget it don't go to night classes tonight he won't I'm going to my friend Emma's house yes that's a good idea so we'll keep this between us and we won't tell the neighbors or your DED about this we won't be a good girl , you know it makes sense what time you'll be back, I don't know late why, well, it's just that I'll have Rael call you, you know, to cheer you up. a little Yeah, because her marriage broke up and everything no, what I mean is no, she will understand what you're going through, that's all I meant, yeah, are you okay honey?

Okay, listen, I have to be away, yeah, okay, I'll do it. we'll talk to you later, it's okay and thanks Dell, it's okay honey, it's okay, yeah, you won't do anything stupid, right? Oh, I'm fine, honey, could you give me a minute to explain? Get out of here, Robie, go to the damn t. or whatever his name is, I don't know anyone named T, is he a man or a woman, oh don't try to deny it, Robney D told me all about you two, well he was lying, she works, beautiful night, right ? Roses, Roses' cat, you calm down for a minute and realize that this whole thing has been a big mistake, our marital mistake.

We always say that if we had a problem we would sit down. Then I'll get out. Why did you tell him? Well, I had to turn to Rodney to save her from any pain. What do you mean you just send me on a ship with a ret from Bedminton? Don't raise your voice. It's already midnight. We'll go back to bed and then calm down. Take it easy. Below, you, precisely you, grab me and grab me for a moment. I didn't even have a clue what Cassandra's reaction would have been if she had seen you with that little assault, yeah she just gave me a damn good example of that I wasn't going to take T out I changed my mind before I got to the end of the elevator Alone I made a stupid threat out of anger and frustration you said I know what I said but there's a world of difference between saying and doing there's nothing if I went to the police every time you said you were going to kill me you'd still be wasting at Parkers well thanks to you my wife now thinks I'm having a passionate affair with a mermaid from the escape center and you've offended my neighbors people are trying to sleep shut up calm down just calm down okay okay okay sorry sorry yeah sorry look, is there anything that can I do to help?

Fuck you, just listen to me you ungrateful little dipstick, I fought in the middle of the night just to help you and I had a promise, listen to me, I don't want your help, I don't want your favors, your assistance or your advice, I don't want any of you for the rest of my life. I was just trying to do what was best for Cassandra and you, yeah, and to make sure you got all those prints done on the cheap, you really don't believe that. Rodney, you probably don't see Canadian clubs around there and have one yourself.

Michael greets D regards uh, call it £25 for cash, okay, okay, put it on the board, uh, no, on Sate M, I've had a visit from the brewery, oh. okay, look, there are five and oh dear, could you Adam and Eve? I just went and left my wallet at home. I remember Damian was playing with her now. She was teaching him financial management. You already know how to avoid costs. pubs, that's it, I'll sell them to someone else and then Dell, no you can't, these are second winds, yeah, I'll sell them cheap, then okay, I'll give you five dollars for them now it's not my fault, it's the brewery they brought.

In this new and revolutionary rule, from now on customers have to pay for their drinks, these new ideas are here, they don't go away. I've managed to get my hands on these radically new designed hair dryers right now, they normally retail for $69.99 at Region Street. but for you 15 nicker D look at my hair with one of them I just have to stick my head out the window for 10 seconds and it's completely dry see this is different because this has what they call a volumizer in it, you see, it gives it that body to all your hair, oh so I could end up looking like Lily Savage, don't be tempting, B, I'm giving it to you, Michael and I, hey, 15 nicker, come to me, go ahead and then give it to us. you, but you still owe me a have, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'll tell you that you're a little bit of a gambling manager, I'll tell you that I'll have a little bit with you, double or quit, okay?

The thing is if I win I'll give you this FIV for this round of drinks but if you win I owe you a have you already owe me a have for losing so then thank you uh trig just a minute you'll like this trig look at this a little bet we're making here , so Michael, I bet if you put your hands in front of you I can make you turn them without touching you, you can make me turn my hands without exactly touching me, it's called the power of positive. I thought, Okay, if you put your hands out in front of you, now to the other side, okay, here we go, come on, help each other put it down.

I have been in the auto trade for many years and until recently never thought about the damage. The vapors they did to our world now let me explain my theory to you mik say it again please could you allow me to continue. Now this is my theory? The future holds the key to all our success. Well, you better not tell Raquel that she's dead. an antique thief I've recently invested a lot of money in electric cars, yes I bought Tyler, a scale says I'm not talking about racing car models, for the love of God, come on, lift this your round, yes, yes it is the same as the last round will be 25 pounds 25 Mike is not okay Dave I can make you turn your hands without touching you I can make you turn your hands without touching you go and hold M now on the other side look there you go D Oh, this is hard, is it? what's happening?

Well I have some good news and some bad news, because I'm applying for another job, yeah, what's the bad news? That's the bad news. The good news is that I will continue. until I can find someone suitable to replace me, that should take about half an hour, oh yeah, you won't say that when I'm the CEO of some, do you have anything prepared? So this is the job advertising the newspaper. listen Local company seeks an ambitious, energetic and creative young man to join their successful sales force. Well, who am I describing? It's not me. Yes. It looks like computer experience and perks, but it's not essential.

The successful applicant will receive full training, good salary and company vehicle. I have experience with computers, yes, you never got one to work, but yes, yes, I could call this afternoon to sign the papers, yes, okay, then you will call again, okay, bonjour, that a new digital phone, honey, Of course, Bell, that was it. the clinic you were talking to, yes, they will see me on Tuesday, they will call back and confirm that you are serious about this, right? Yes, you have never been more serious. Look, Dell volunteering for this visectomy is very brave and thoughtful.

You and I are flattered that you do it for me, but you don't have to, that's for sure, I think it's for the best, honey, but I don't want you to come back to me and tell me it's all yours. Blame Raquel if you get a little bit, you know it hurts like I oh, that would be them answering the phone swe AR be Posh, do you want to be Posh? I don't want them to think that we are a couple like that or yes sir, hello, how? I can help? Hello, I am looking for information about the labor average.

Wait for the line. Have you placed an ad in the pek? Meco, yes, to help Rodney, who is this Rodney? Why does he call me? He's just in the damn living room. No. he's applying for the job what are you referring to he's applying for help for himself wait a minute wait a minute I have to think about this dnie hold down a tune plays I'll put you on hold while I connect you to our marketing department thank you you backstabbing idiot , I'm going to wind it up right away, don't be embarrassed by luck, right, hello, this is the marketing manager, yes, I'm sorry, I kept you, my name is Iva Hardy, hello, Mr.

Hardy, and you are, My name is Rodney. Trotter, oh Rodney Trot, you are not one of the Trotter brothers. Is that you? No, no, I don't have a brother. 45,000, I sell it for 45,000, sold for 45,000. uh, pallet number 674, now we come to lot 73, a solid silver pocket Marine. Timekeeper Clock This was found in London by Two Brothers. Unfortunately they kept the piece for 16 years believing it to be a Victorian chronometer. Know that this is simply the most significant discovery in horological terms of this century. The watch has been authenticated and accepted by everyone. Leading experts say it is the last watch ever made by John Harrison.

It is the legendary H6, the until now legendary minor watch. I feel like I don't need to say more. I would like to start bidding at £150,000. Thank you. 200,000. 250. Oh dear, this when. he said 150,000 come on that's when you came very bad I went to D 200,000 250 free that's when I dragged you out you mean it ended at 300,000 it's still going on oh come on let's go back up here three and a quarter B is in room three and a half 350,000 pounds three and 34 four thanks the drill bit is worth four and a half million so what was the end result?

It was built by an anonymous bidder. He's giving it to the Greenwich Maritime Museum so at least it stays in the country oh yeah well that's good oh Wally was the final score what was it exactly? Oh well 6.2 million so that's a little over 3 million each, well we've had worse days do you want to go first or should I tell you why don't we go together? Yes, yes, okay, one, two, three.