Nico Semsrott: Freude ist nur ein Mangel an Information (Best Of 2013 - 2017) - 3satfestival 2017

Well, I am never q cell roth, I am a motivational coach by profession and I was here last time in

2013

. Today I am playing the

best

of the last four years. Before we can really get started, there is still something missing. This afternoon I will be in the punishment room again Playing with myself I have noticed that throughout these afternoons I have to laugh more and more often and that makes me extremely unreliable in my role as a motivator. Coach. That's why it's a punishment game. For every laugh that escapes me I pay someone five euros because I have been doing this for a while and I realized that it was a stupid idea, on the one hand it is very expensive and on the other hand, the motivation program no longer works.

I always reward him with a clear conscience, which is why I have changed recipients. For every laugh that escapes me, five euros for the young union. Yes "I have prepared this. There are many five euro bills here that will pass from one pocket to another throughout the night. This makes this evening more exciting. I would like to introduce myself briefly. It is my boring name, at least with the initials I am already completely in line with the European trend. Meanwhile I am very grateful to my parents who did not call me tomorrow or I was born on the 11th of 1986.

My date of birth is made up of two components, the first is the year of the disaster of Chernobyl on the other, the day of the Fukushima disaster has also been useful to me as a mnemonic: On my 18th birthday there were the terrorist attacks in Madrid on my twenty-third birthday, the shooting in Winnenden on my twenty-fifth birthday. There was also a disaster in Fukushima. I am very excited to see what life has in store for me. I grew up on the outskirts of the city. The outskirts combine the disadvantages of the city and the countryside.

The cultural offer of the country and the noise of the city. In a semi-detached house the semi-detached house combines the disadvantages of owning and renting, high costs and lack of privacy thanks mom and dad I received training in satire from the professionals of a Catholic school oh yes, a Catholic region I would like to give an example from this satirical training turned into a school prayer book someone had to recite a prayer every morning my favorite prayer This was by far this one. Dear God, Please make sure we are all healthy and the war ends. After this time at school, like so many others, I was confused.

I didn't know what to do with myself. Should go straight to unemployment or somewhere else. Start training. So I decided on commitment. In the conference room new doubts assailed me. Maybe I shouldn't study after all or at least I should study. So I decided on commitment. I finished my studies for another six weeks so that I could constantly dedicate myself to my depression. I sat down for a few years to confront life's big questions, including this question: What am I really good at? I realized that I am really good, I can only doubt. , give up, demotivate other people.

Naturally, the question arose in my mind: what can I ever make a career out of with these skills? And it suddenly occurred to me and I thought: "I don't have that much, I work quite constantly with a motivational coach, that's what I've been for ten years and I would give my life one out of five stars so far as Brussels heads to the red zero stars action zero stars and determination two stars maybe three I'm not so sure overall so one out of five stars and if I had to comment on my life I would sign I wouldn't watch it again it's so boring Yeah , as a motivational coach, of course, I have some successes to show.

This. For example, I am an alcoholic. Life on tour is different. Germany itself is unbearable. Here we can now see, for example, in March 2014 in red every day I had to drink. Here you can see now You can see the reasons, they are all incredible. It was bearable sober, but I didn't recover from the tour for a few days. Here we know, we managed to stop drinking again and I celebrated it for two days and then I just had to start running. Too much for me, first let's be a little more basic and ask ourselves what life is about and what interests me are six topics that I have prepared, I would like you to decide today what it is really about.

Let's go over it briefly: women and men, dogs and cats, drug stories, these political decisions about rabbits, we'll go over it again, women and men, dogs and cats, drug stories, you, political decisions about rabbits, just call what whatever interests you, okay, so nice. Rabbit has a clear majority, we will make the decision that it is a Powerpoint presentation, which means it is prepared. I don't know how you imagined it, so now it's about decisions. Every day we have to make thousands of decisions. The most important one is getting up every morning or staying in bed, then we move on to the equally important question of staying awake or getting back to bed for coffee or tea on the train or bike.

I am very happy to be able to perform again in a region where I don't have to explain the concept of the S-Bahn, we don't know what it is like and then it consumes itself. It's a little more complicated, for example, which smartphone provider do I give all my data to, Apple, Google. or Microsoft? There are at least three clear alternatives here, that freedom always comes with the offer Overtime or being fired and here we can see that it is the first big difference between the systems these are the option in a dictatorship free market economy free market dictatorship economy dictatorship Freimark economy can be celebrated then you are free catholic church or democracy depending on what you believe only happiness through self-deception unhappy realism unsatisfied longing longing fulfilled and disappointed big question sweet kitty or the rabbit that is simply not in my opinion the only decision simple there are only two options I wish all the decisions in my life were that easy while it was a dream if there is always only a or b the problem in my life is that many questions are much more complicated for example I am I often face the question of how I can live a beautiful and fulfilling life doing a beautiful activity that brings me joy.

I don't hurt others, I do good with it, I have a life where we have a great partner and I have great children and I also have enough time for my friends and I can also mature because I don't have to worry about money. What decisions do I have to wait to make? So spontaneously I'm not so sure a or b what decisions you'll make. The most important decision is, of course, the choice of career, because in this system the choice of career also decides about social status and, in turn, about happiness, health, life expectancy and, actually, everything else. decision that you should not miss.

What options are there in theory? For example, you can become a cleaner, a dancer, a Formula 1 driver, a teacher. There are infinite possibilities until the moment the egg is fertilized. Allow the poorest families to come have far fewer options. Keep your eyes open when it comes to family options. What does it look like throughout life? In Germany, most decisions are made after primary school. After high school, you have significantly fewer options. There are less options, then you choose At some point in your work and then you are dead, here in the room too, applause of relief, you don't have to work forever, yes, what is it like in other fields?

When it comes to relationships, it's very similar. We humans have over 7 billion opportunities to form a relationship if we focus on them. Limited human species. Whoever comes is much better received in the country. Yes, if I commit to a relationship now and say. Yes to one person I automatically say no to everyone else Looked at this way, every wedding is also the divorce of more than 7 billion people I don't know why it is celebrated, that's what you can see here too. They are surprisingly together. More broadly, every decision means the death of billions of possibilities. Once you've made that clear, you won't make decisions as carelessly as I don't make decisions now.

People know what the right decision is for them because in any situation we are guessing all the time. That is why it is useful to develop some strategies with which you can make decisions. Personally, I have developed positive negative thinking, it is made up of the positive and the negative in the ranking means the the glass is full negative ranking the glass is empty the glass is before what decisions are my entire life just take a negative approach and look at everything your life from your deathbed the phrases you would rarely have heard on your deathbed I spent more time in the office or I would have listened to my parents when choosing a career.

Phrases you rarely hear on your deathbed. I actually turned off the stove. When you, as a family member, hear this phrase, you often think that you are dying. What decisions can they make? What are you doing? I find it very challenging for me to deal with all the negative

information

. Yes, there is a lot of depressing news. Just when I find out how my shoes were made, it makes me sad for the first time. How should I deal with this

information

? Broadly speaking, I have four options. For example, I can simply say that I don't care about my ignorance.

It is definitely the only healthy option. The next three options are much more depressing. Option B "If I found out how my shoes were made, then I would investigate how my pants were made. My sweater was made and the shoes are not so bad anymore. That's the advantage that we live in an information society and we still have access to she". even more depressing information, so in the end you can say again, oh, the first thing that made me sad, never mind, interesting options c is that I found out how the shoes were made. I get a typical three-second anger and I'm like, I really have to do something about this or I find out that even the kids had to work on the school production and then I'm like, Can I see the rabbit again?

It's a It's sad and I think it's crazy that in our system it can't be seen. They have the possibility of voting no. You only have two years of votes, for example in the federal elections, why don't you also have two negative votes? In an equally democratic way and, furthermore, we would have already resolved the problem with the AFG. "No one talks about my life. My girlfriend is like my vacation home. I don't have a vacation home. I recognized it mostly as gloating. Well, I think weddings are basically a delicate matter. Most people are safe. I'm not sure until the end when choosing a partner That's why it's called getting married.

I've had to take a lot of criticism about money, but it stops there. Well, I think, like all other social occasions, there's just too much pressure to have success at weddings. Weddings were invented in a century when many people did not live past the age of 40. When life is so short, you can pledge lifelong loyalty according to the motto: OK, I'll do it for five years .I am ready to get married without any pressure. If you have more with each other, please reply now thanks to me. These days I am invited to weddings every month and I have the feeling that my acquaintances do not have great parties with their friends.

Staging events Yes, the goal of the entire event is not to share a pleasant moment with others. The goal is simply to add another facet to my own perfection, so it's all on stage. Everyone is in absolute competition. They have the feeling that they are not marrying each other, they are marrying against other couples, that is what I mean by this production. I will give you an example of a harmless intermediate variant that begins with a multi-page invitation that is decorated with your own logo. wedding. Then there is a 24-hour program that takes place in the fairytale castle, because you don't want to leave anything to chance.

There is also another casual evening dress code that women like to join and If you haven't lost interest yet, you can read the harmonious relationship story on the home page. This couple had posted a whole series of photos on their homepage every season. The relationship was captured with his own photo. Myself how they did it. I think they hired the photographer first and then they got together. We even had a photo from when they met. How could that have happened? I figured it would be something like one of them spent the whole time. night nervously thinking about what they wereThe moment then asked at some point, I'm sorry, is it okay if I now take a photo for our wedding homepage.

The last photo in this series was from the engagement. They got engaged on Valentine's Day in Venice. I think I just got used to it. to this series of photos then if you also told the sequel, a photo of the first argument, the first affair, the divorce, the next wedding, the wedding after that, the story would continue to evolve and in the end you no longer know who I was with who would then look at that again. By the way, I not only thought of this review, I also wrote it to you. I thought to myself that anyone who tries that hard would do it too.

I want comments and comedians say it's better to lose a good friend than just acquaintances. If, against my instinct, I agree to be invited to awedding, then it costs a lot of money, you have to pay. for everything yourself: travel, accommodation, gifts and then there is this cruel bachelor party that increasingly lasts longer than a whole weekend. Traveling abroad This year I participated in three weddings and then declared personal bankruptcy. It would be nice if you could somehow buy your way out with money, but you also have to work at everything because there is always someone in this circle of friends who was totally crazy about the idea.

To record a really fun wedding video, then you have to design a few pages in the wedding newspaper. If I ever get married, out of revenge, I will let the guests do everything. Here are the addresses of the Bauhaus craft store. Here the Oktoberfest is a week, if I'm honest, I'll probably never get married Despair is a difficult word but I'm on dating portals of course I'm also on parship and what can I say every eleven minutes no one falls in love with me someone else is In parship there is no one in parship I already ask myself that question.

For months now I have the impression that I am the only one in Porsche, which could be a good thing: the membership fee is so high that only the advertising campaign can be financed. Parship is already off to a depressing start. Yes, while signing up, you have to decide whether you want the comparatively expensive package for six months, which was the cheapest for 24 months. In other words, you have to decide from the beginning whether you hope to have a girlfriend in the next six months or whether it's pretty useless. So I wrote to customer service if there was also a ten-year package.

For those who are interested, no, it doesn't matter if with or without In general, I have difficulties with friendships. My relationships take a long time to learn. The longest friendship of my life lasted two years and then the guinea pig died. So, from private problems to general philosophy , let's look at human life. Here, in human life, there are really only two marks that are set: beginning and end in the middle, a lot of teaching. People traditionally can't stand this teaching, so they filter it with nonsense. People has always done it like this. tens of thousands of people ago For years, humanity wondered why thunder existed, then someone in the clan suggested the god of thunder and then everyone said, let's take it and that's how people heard it all along. throughout history. 600 years ago, Europeans still assumed that the Earth was flat 160 years ago, Europeans still assumed that bloodletting was a great idea for curing diseases.

In this context, it is very unlikely that in 100 years a generation of humanity will look back and say that this is crazy. "We have really proven everything, if we are honest with ourselves then we only have two options in what we can believe: either nonsense that has already been refuted or nonsense that has not yet been refuted. The first big difference between the thinkers of the Enlightenment and the fanatics. The fanatics believe in nonsense that has already been refuted. The Enlightenment believers also believe in nonsense. But it is the

best

nonsense we have discovered so far, how all this nonsense is organized just like other monkeys, we live in groups with clear hierarchies around.

Someone says nonsense and then someone else says exactly yes, that's the society in which nonsense is currently believed on a hill like that. Really, it just depends on where you are and at what time. No has absolutely nothing to do with whether it's true or not. "The main thing is that some kind of nonsense is being said. Sometimes Catholic nonsense is valid, sometimes communist nonsense, sometimes neoliberal nonsense and that's what our times are. What is so exciting in the West is that some said that this neoliberal nonsense is useless." Anything for us. We prefer to believe in right-wing nonsense and to understand the development of the German couple again, let's take a look at the development again.

Here we see to the German Fabian Hügel in 2015 with its 82 residents, what happened. From other baboon hills, the baboons were expelled, as always, only two of them reached Europe. This is where they arrived, but the two refugees were not Barbian alone to Germany, but spread all over Europe. Only 0.89 Refugee baboons came to Germany in 2015, so I left him alone now because I didn't want to do anything to him. He has already been through a lot and Germany has responded to this situation react hahaha that's completely appropriate where is that no place at all let's look at Lebanon in comparison there are four baboons living in Lebanon Lebanon has also had to deal with two refugee baboons in recent years Lebanon has reacted well let's take a look to that Let's compare again the direct comparison Germany Lebanon is fine, but for the comparison to be truly complete we must take the population of the entire European Union, which is 510 baboons, and compare them with the two refugees from a few years ago, these are both, this is the actual size ratio.

In 2015, we were 255 Europeans, a refugee entered eight classes at school, a new classmate. That, of course, is a threat. Yeah, I don't understand what's happening either. The only thing I understood is that they both have to work hard. of effort to Islamize the rest. I have often wondered in my life why I felt so bad in so many situations and then recently I read an article about koalas and realized that I was simply born into the wrong animal species that I actually am. a koala First there are five clues to this: I have the same interests and hobbies, I sleep, I sit, and I recover from sitting.

Koalas sleep 18 to 20 hours a day. If a koala sleeps less than 18 hours a day, it dies of exhaustion. I, on the other hand, only sleep about twelve hours a day. That's why I am too. They were tired. I think it is undignified to have to get up at 6 in the morning for a job that can also be done at 1:00 p.m. and in most cases it is not necessary to do so. There are also students in the room, it's okay. Secondly, koalas are solitary. Apparently they like theirs. Its congeners are not particularly special. Thirdly, koalas feed exclusively on eucalyptus.

Eucalyptus is poisonous even to koalas. This is called a dead end in evolution. This programming error is also the real reason why the koala has to sleep so much in order to break down the poison in a way that saves energy. to the duration of poisoning Koala weakened even when healthy I feel the same I am happy and out of conviction In my opinion laziness has an unfairly bad reputation. In most cases in the history of the world doing absolutely nothing would have been the best option. There will be no wars even if only on both sides.

Women would have said that because you are in total war. No, neither are we. Fourth, when looking for sexual partners, most people try very hard. If I'm realistic, most of my competitors will be better than me, so there's no point in participating in that because I'm not good at talking to girls in the club, so I stand out from the crowd by lying on the ground and hoping that I There you will get a girl of creation. The koala behaves similarly when there is an exception during the four hours they are awake. When a conspecific passes by with which it can reproduce, it is said, that's fine.

Science still does not agree on whether female or male koalas actively search for mates. In other words, they are both so apathetic that it is impossible to know from the outside which side has less desire for art. However, when it comes to breeding, the koala is still too motivated for me, after all, the mating season lasts a few months. Sometimes I wish I were part of a species with a really short mating period. Wolves, for example, are only fertile for seven days a year, what a beautiful thing! Imagination or having to work hard seven days a year and neglect the rest of the year.

Humans, on the other hand, have a mating season throughout the year, that is crazy when it comes to reproduction, which is what people prefer. They are incorporated into the air, they are fresh and ready. The image also makes it clear why some people develop allergies to pollen. Fifthly, koalas are very lazy but have high demands. There are more than 700 species of eucalyptus, but koalas only eat 70 of them. "They have the highest demands without a spark of motivation. That's what I call attitude. What really moved me is the conflict between illustrators and fans in the Western world, actually all over the world, but only recently in the West has it became very sharp again.

And I just observed how illustrators and fans approach the world. Enlightenment people tend to do it this way. They look at the facts first. Consequently, history fans do it exactly the other way around. First they think about history and then they adapt all the facts of history. Let's look at an example. An Enlightenment thinker looks at a person and realizes that the person is made up of different characteristics. For example, a religion has experience in political attitude, mental health and social environment and nationality that It is also a great simplification, but the principle clearly a person consists of different facets.

A fanatic comes and says no, he is a Muslim. It's the first big difference you can see between enlightened thinkers and fanatics. Let's look at the following example of Due to the phenomenon of growing social inequality in many Western societies, the gap between rich and poor is increasing. Here too, the factors can be taken seriously: this is due, among other things, to a very unfair inheritance law on machines. Taking jobs away from people, wage costs that are lower in other regions of the world, is due to the rural exodus of an aging society and the financial crisis of 2008, which led to an economic crisis and which in turn caused a shift to the right in many countries.

We also know this pattern from history. As a solutions-oriented person, you could say that we try to tighten at least one of these screws and then a fanatic comes along and says yes or we just tell the foreigners to go away and This is fascinating because that doesn't happen at all, so a creative achievement, let's look at the third. For example, in Europe there has been debate for many years about what can be done to prevent murders and attacks. Here we can also just take a serious look at who commits the vast majority of murders: they are usually men who are mentally ill, outsiders, racist murderers and 53 and by racists I mean of course Islamists and traditional racists because they follow the same principle. "They don't see people as individuals but as representatives of a type.

For me, the definition of racism. Now you can say how to solve this problem, for example by excluding all men under 53. Locking people up is a radical measure". , but the probability of attacks afterwards is very low. Well, let's get back to being constructive. Race men under 53 meters. There will probably always be racist outsiders. You could really start with the mentally ill and, let's say, try to get better. care for people with mental illnesses, yes, and then the right-wing populists in Maya say or we will simply ban burqas. That's a very sensible suggestion because you know exactly if you have substances on your face, so okay, I don't do it. "I don't understand it either.

I found the debate particularly passionate. After the attack in Munich in the summer of 2016, a racist of immigrant origin shot other people of immigrant origin and then even the AFG said that it was too complicated and that we were out." . The CSU did not let this contradiction stop them and then demanded what they always demand in such cases: they said that in the future we have to use the Bundeswehr internally and this idea seemed very sensitive and humane to me. I just wanted to think about it. until the end. Obviously it is about the police being overwhelmed and therefore the military.

What else can the military do? What else can the military do? With what the policeIt is clear that schools are being overwhelmed and that schools are being built right next to the site of the attack. No one expects this moment of confusion. I looked at this list and it was a little absurd, but then I realized that the CSU was in "I also thought it was absurd. What I find so evident in human life is that everything is contradictory, nothing is clear, everything is always in a kind of tension and contradicts itself. For example, I am privately against slavery, but everything I carry on my body was produced under conditions of slavery.

Let's move on a little more harmlessly. My work is already a contradiction in itself. I can live off my criticism of capitalism. The saddest thing. I'm even being Companies invite me more and more to work meetings to improve the atmosphere in the company. For me, each invitation is a new insult. I don't. I do it on principle, but I once accidentally performed in front of a company. It was as part of a mixed show, which means there were other artists on stage. Afterwards, an employee of this company came to me and said that you were, withdifference, the best.

It's not like that, why? Well, nobody. You've summed up the mood both in the company and in you, but it doesn't matter where you go. Also in my private life I always end up in dead ends to unzip zip files, the program was packaged as zip, who isn't? something like that or that here is banal but it still bothers me in old photos you look younger wikipedia says that experts are people who have knowledge in a specialized area but experts say that wikipedia I should not trust it I always think about what is true because now one of the other, nothing of both, both and all were very harmless examples.

What gets really crazy when I think about my internal conflicts is the observation that I am talking to friends about a political topic, arguing, and then the next moment I think. I'm going to masturbate, is it different for you? It's crazy that we all live in this zone of tension. On the one hand, we are somewhat rational beings. On the other hand, there are also people who Animals can play the violin very well, that is the result of decades of hard rehearsals, but even in their bodies instincts always take control and then you go to hell, that is the tension of being human, being able to play the violin and cards. very well and very few people know how to play the violin well.

I like the reactions at this point because, broadly speaking, there are two groups: first the relieved ones who say ugh, the others also suck and then there are the indignant ones who say No, not me, that's not my style. Both reactions are two sides of the issue. The same medal in our culture we find our monkey existence so shameful that we try to suppress everything that turns us into animals, such as shaving all our hair, drowning out all smells and When someone leaves, then it is disgusting, you can also adopt an attitude relax and say Congratulations, the metabolism is working, my instinct part and my reason part are constantly arguing about the right action.

When I come to a new group, I am very excited at first, then the instinct part says that one part of reason has to intervene and the other part of reason has to intervene and say if you run away now it seems strange to me because once I I know people a little. Better then the rational part has to intervene again. Violence is not a solution. In the past I always gave the audience a choice at this point. Now, that's a funny change, sad ending, then someone said the main thing is the ending since then. I don't ask the question anymore and just ask the ending.

I'll just tell my favorite joke. Now a pessimist and an optimist meet, the pessimist says that the pessimist can't get any worse, said the optimist.