Mock The Week's Scenes We'd Like to See (Series 15 Cut)

Now we get to the

scenes

we'd like to see, so if everyone can come over to the performance area, I'll read this

week

's topics and then we'll see what our panelists come up with. Well, here we go. The issue is commercials that never aired. Mr. Muscle loves the job he hates, other than blowjobs, he doesn't give blowjobs. He used to wash me with pigeon, but the feathers fell out and the rhythm was stretching. Pepper army, it's a bit of an animal I guess the anus Oh four hoof marks and a big pile of poop that's the sign of the black horse megabus the only bus company endorsed by daro Breen Lynx for when you want to smell like a virgin they are your pets so wonderful that You're actually getting tired, take a break, cut off Tesco penis extensions because every little bit helps at Debenhams.

We have kidnapped John Lewis the penguin and if you don't buy into this, we will kill him. Abbey's bastard has strong teeth, boundless energy and a shiny coat, she's the best hooker in London, baraka, start your day the right way with glowing urine, there's now a freebie at the bottom of every box of diabetes rice Frosty type 2, Uncle Tom's rice like Uncle Ben's. but a little more racist crack flavored Pringles once you pop it you really can sir have you been in an accident that wasn't your fault? Ah, bad luck, okay, the next topic is unlikely to be heard in the hospital.

Welcome to the wing Jeremy Hunt of course, The influence of private companies has not affected the NHS. Ask my colleague, Dr. Pepper and his cancer specialist today is null Edmonds, don't worry mr. Thomas, you won't be in that cart in the hallway for long. We'll take it back to Tesco to get our pound back. I'm afraid we'll have to disconnect him because he's stuck too high up there, he's gone. in cardiac arrest he gets the defibrillator, the defibrillator could have done it, I was probably too late, he is dead, yes no, I spoke to the NHS person and they were very helpful.

The good news is that your father is comfortable, in fact, I have been sitting. on him all morning, okay, let's call the time of death at 4:15, he's not dead yet, but it's Friday and if we leave now we can be each other's, for God's sake, sir . Wallace, please get your penis out of there. That's not what organ donor means. This is the discussion group for people who have broken bones. Welcome to Snapchat. Now we're going to need to put you to sleep, so I have two tickets to see Dabrian. living in Belgium this admissions thing is good because I have one I fucked your wife the good news is that we are ready to take you to the theater the bad news is that it is a theater in Brussels okay, we have to give it a shock, put our finger in it the ass we I've given gas and air to your wife and by that I mean I farted in the nurse's office, I opened a window, improbable lyrics, two television channels, dear National Geographic Channel, when we were Nazis, we were building some more megastructures.

Can't wait for

series

2, dear boomerang. TV, why does my letter keep coming back? Dear Dave, you don't repeat the

week

s that often. I swear I've seen Holly Wolf make this joke before. Dear girl station, what are you really going to show the movie, honey? Dear Top Gear, your program has nothing to do with it. to do with cocaine, dear itv2, is it possible to get an STD just by watching George's, your beloved Netflix? I am very disappointed by the amount of buffering that occurs, dear History Channel. I really enjoyed your documentary about what panel shows were like after 15 years of waiting.

I'm watching Dave's gay CBeebies. I have three babies and my babies love watching CBeebies from their dd-dear History Channel, the past is the past mate, you have to let it pass through the BBC, your documentary on excessive drinking, really Romar pre-drinks, Dear Dave, you. Don't repeat the weak so often. I've seen Holly make this joke before. Dear Al-Jazeera guy. There is no music from the Jazz Age. Dear station. What are you doing to commemorate the upcoming centenary of women's suffrage? 0l Jazeera. I wonder if we are the same. It's yours, Jazeera guy, okay, the next topic is things you wouldn't hear in a blockbuster movie, tell me more, tell me more, didn't you actually tell us because at t-birds we don't slut shame, we do you've seen?

Spider-Man, he's been torn to pieces, he's all over the web, we have to save the president or depending on how the election goes, we have to save everyone from the president, Adrian, sorry, I thought you were Adrian, haha, start late Batman vs Superman, hey. Optimus Prime, how about we turn this boxer into a decent script? Oh look, several women in their 50s, but my kids are trapped in there with a monster, we have to go back and you know what the fuck, he already beat Superman, now it's time for the hardest part. challenge Batman against Rain Man.

I'll be back and if you're not there right now you'll have to choose from the warehouse. There's good news and bad news, Captain, we can't find Spock, but we've found Nemo and someone thinks. They saw Private Ryan. You're struggling with those chopsticks. Wear the full coat. I'm Freddie, welcome to Elm Street. The nightmare trying to find affordable housing. What I will suffocate. Bell button depending on what Kelly and Williams say. I'm sorry, James. we have to include the international dialing code now you're double O four four seven I'm not going to sponsor you in another 5K race Forrest the Thunderbirds our goal is what I must have to reach orgasm no Lyle, I'm afraid you are not Teletubby nor tell your beast that if you are not careful you will get telediabetes do not ask your parents for permission before your phone Those cocks slowly say no and in today's Horrible Histories, an episode of Top of the Pops from the 1970s, very young, today we are going to destroy the Wimbledon tennis championship and get rid of all this common dog poop, get yourself a golf club .

If you're not having an affair whose square pants are these, well, things are heating up in Balamory Archie has been radicalized, well, Miss Hooli. I wonder if I'll regret this job in 14 years, sir. fall you're 43 grandpa sake Johnny's dad said do your review so Johnny left school and entered the Eurovision Song Contest ah papa bear said someone has been sleeping in my bed mama bear said it was probably you Linda only the three more drops of glue and that's a huge and balls there and the janitor would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for the pictures he had taken of those annoying kids yodel delivery driver Pat yodel delivery driver Pat, threw his parcel in a hedge and now it's time for our resident band of fiddler children, good welcome to the children Fiddler's and now Peppa Pig is a recipe in the Saturday kitchen, let's see what happens at Magic Roundabout, yes, more dogs, just Remember that your Blue Peter badge can give you free entry to more than 200 strips. clubs and lap dancing in the establishment look at iggle piggle is the fool I wouldn't do it Olivier said my Hamlet made him cry like a little girl okay rad7 is unlucky zaheer Euro 2016 wayne rooney came out covered in formica I think the managers told them that they play as a unit, Rooney is playing in the pocket, oh that's disgusting, and England go on penalties and the French mascot is seven-year-old Lucien Dubois from Nice, showing us all how to smoke a cigarette in true style Oh, that's absolutely shocking. referee's decision black shorts black sure, I'm sure the girls will agree with me too coincidental, let's not forget that Roy Keane and Martin Skrtel were club mates in real sociopaths, that's an absolute beauty.

Swede around 25, welcome 30 Dave on camera five the three forwards ingen are trying to get in behind but the jokers are having none of it and the crowd invades the field and the French officials have surrendered you did that, crossing the line seemed a bit a bit to me racist well, next for us is Iceland Turkey and when their England, Slovakia and Russia thaws they opted for a formation of four, three, three, seven, eight, ten, one, nine, sixteen, we will never get out of this alley, well , let's look at the statistics in the first half. I was responsible for 90%. of the clichés and that really is the icing on the cake and the Swedes are eliminated, I really should have worn tighter shorts, so who is nominated for the World Cup in Russia?

There goes Ronaldo down the wing doing what he did a minute ago and he's a little slower, these are the replays now, well, they say the time is coming, the man is coming and I'm just going to get more pants, movie trailers unlikely, referendum so that we continue doing it until we get the result we like from the director. from Batman vs Superman a sincere apology letter for wasting our time tantric sex the movie isn't coming soon the new all-female Ghostbusters the CGI looks amazing because we saved 30% on actors' salaries sepp blatter and Donald Trump star in Despicable Me 2 thanks to an unfortunate typo, is the most one-sided action movie of all time.

Alan versus Predator just when you thought the service couldn't get any more awful. Southern Railway presents snakes on a train. The Avengers go to prison. They should have asked Ultron's age. The trick the devil once played was charging nine pounds for ghost popcorn. There's a lot to it in his biggest role to date. Danny Dyer is Emmeline Pankhurst. The creator of these graphics is angry with the sequel. You hoped they would never make the Martian into 101 boring Martians. the man is alone is Labor the film is the uncompromising autoerotic asphyxiation thriller Fifty Shades of Gray the moving story of a homeless man in a nursing home you know land where nothing costs more than a pound referendum on land for now the aunt wants to leave the cover Michael Gove is David Cameron's best friend in Quentin Tarantino's hateful sidekick, Harrison Ford is 73 years old and back in Indiana Jones and in the tricky ice zone outside the post office in a world where they only sell PC.

PC world, okay next topic, unlikely things to hear on a makeover show look grandma, I know you're trying to boost my confidence, can you stop grabbing my tits and shouting firecrackers, welcome to the locker room , this is in the laundry department at Debenhams. I love it, we're done with the bedroom guys. I love the neutral. colors I love everything, all the new furniture, but what have you done with my bean bag? There were 20 grams of cocaine in that well. Why do we call it DIY SOS? because I accidentally stapled my penis to this ladder, welcome to stare. the straight guy where the advice is always to spray links in your crotch lady.

Patterson says the floor below him is a little damp, don't worry. Alan Titchmarsh has that effect on many women. When Susan came to us she was overweight, had terrible hair and her self-esteem was at rock bottom, but now, thanks to our team, she has a new kitchen, this classroom really looks exquisite now we have put Moroccan tiles in the floor, we've used accent shades on the walls and put in a new well here, he's taking on the job, another sawing and a lot of drilling, but finally the shed is finished and jeff has a quiet place to masturbate oh wow, it looks horrible not before?

Oh, that's after, I'm sorry, we just fixed it, really, you know, dusted, got rid of the cobwebs, fixed the curtains downstairs and yeah. I'll probably leave now, well, I mean, I love it. I love the wallpaper. I love the way you haven't gone through a single thing. I actually live next door. I showed this couple from Sussex a lovely little semi earlier and asked them if they would touch it. I'm going to fix up their house, what your hair needs is volume and a lot of body, so here's Brian Blessed, why did you give them more teeth?

Rejected exam questions If Maria from Russia combines effort with oxycodeine, will she win the next tennis match? It was Elizabeth. the first No, so who did you lose your virginity to? If I have two balls in this hand and two balls in this hand, how am I going to explain this to the Board of Governors? What role did they play under Hitler and the Nazis in keeping the History Channel on the air, if it takes John's girlfriend 14 minutes to walk to the train station then why are we still preparing? The weight of the following is a quote from Winston Churchill and we will fight them on the beaches.

Damn, I love these peaches. If you buy four apples for £10 stop shopping at Waitrose if the borrower never returned anything he borrowed why did they call from the borrower and not the little bastards from history fever who were the Lib Dems welcome to the telekinesis test now you can turn the page with your mind question one of the British citizenship test who is the leader of the Conservative Party and now what if a man can winfour hundred thousand pounds a year as an estate agent why are you wasting your life asking exam questions why locked up with a loveless person? marriage in less than 200 words please describe your plan for brexit please anything will do literally anything where should the next thing be?

It's a Winston Churchill quote, hey, we'll fight them on the beaches, damn it, I love these peaches so I can't do that, love. so one of these pages predicts the next number in this sequence 1966 question 1066 when was a Battle of Hastings biology they take the dead rats and the dissectors remove their heads and nail them to the door of the canteen as a warning to other rats, which it is bigger? 52 percent or 48 percent that's democracy, move on, where to next?, it's a famous park, okay, ten things you wouldn't hear on a train, the next station will be Wimbledon, change here to Overground, underground and free, next stop for this.

The train will be Waterloo, it hasn't been any better, the brakes failed, yeah, I just want to tell you on the train that not everyone else is doing that. I thought I would join. Hello, I am your driver. Churchill speaks, now an announcement for the people who insist. sittingthe way the train moves because sitting backwards feels weird, you are weird, this train will be arriving in Taunton soon, remember to turn off all mobile phones so you are not confused with God, this is an announcement to all passengers, piss off to all. You, this is a cross train due to Britain leaving the EU.

This train will no longer stop at Ashby Della's bing-bong ook. Could the owner of a lost xylophone trace his path? This is a benefit for passengers who complain that this service is late. Can I just point out that since this is the Southern Railway, you are looking to be on a train? Bing-bong. This is the bullet train cemetery. They removed. All with the driver. Please contact the guard. We are doing 120. It does not seem to be in the taxi companion, please note the difference between the schedule and reality. There is a silent car on this train for those who stay silent because of the price of the ticket.

I won't get off here. I was listening. to that barn scared by the size of the tunnel come out of the tunnels unlikely things for a sports commentator to say and there you have it Andy Murray has won his second Wimbledon thanks for watching I'm Tim Henman this is the worst day of my life, let's see what the batter does with this ball, he stole it, he gives us our ball back, well, he's really at the end, he's hit that ball very, very, very, very far, towards the crowd, I mean, it's terrible billiards. Rooney to Vardi back to Rooney to the body, neither of them can open that package of sandwiches and the results of the Russian doping test are out.

I must say those are some good drugs, it's wonderful to see Quidditch finally in the Olympics, look at all the proud virgins of it. Bouchard hits the backhand, it's a fantastic shot, well done, the cameraman, low angle, perfect view of some panties, so join us here for the opening ceremony of Rio 2016 and the stadium is moving mainly because they are not finished yet to build it. Yes, this Grand. The prize has been cancelled, but I managed to catch a wasp under this blank paper copy and you know what that means. I will not buy a pie at Gregg's again.

Muckleroy takes out the car trip. He Uber won't do it. be happy for that look at all these athletes in optimal physical condition that I could see only one of them naked, I would die happy and with one lap to finish the pacemaker falls where my pacemaker is, okay, the next topic is things that do not you would have read in a romance novel they fell back into bed panting she turned to George and said: I will be with you, whatever it is said Elizabeth Bennet returning to the living room she would leave him for five she pulled his hair and slapped him roughly but still Jeremy Corbyn would not resign he opened one eye she thought she could love him he opened another eye she thought she did love him he opened another eye she was immediately put off she looked him in the eyes and said this is not going to work.

I'm from a rich family and you're a donkey, she kissed him the only way she knew, on her penis, right on her penis, he felt so close to her that he didn't know where it ended and she started to be a human centipede. What's worse is that they frolicked for hours in the tall grass, stopping only for her to take her nasal spray antihistamine. I love you, Mel said like the Ogun beach gardener, but my favorite tree is you as she looked at the man. Darcy with his clothes soaked thought I wish I hadn't taken that job at the nursing home what do I love about you your eyes your hair your Irish passport please stop doing that he said their bodies shining I have a long I drive to Wrexham in the morning and I need to be able to sit comfortably.

Eyes, you're all eyes, Miss Mississippi. Kim turned to Andy and said yes, of course I will, and he said, thank you for making me the happiest man in the world. Lines you would make. I didn't hear these dots on a TV detective show, these muffled ones, what do they mean? Inspector Morse, I'm sorry Poirot, but it breaks, it means Brexit, sir, welcome to Midsomer officer Patel, on entering the house we found a feline stuffed into a photocopy machine, we think. it was a copycat crime welcome to Baker Street ma'am it seems you came from Seven Oaks via Waterloo and bought those shoes in Selfridges and you're here because you fear someone is stalking you Sergeant I've searched all your pockets and there's no sign of the plug anal stolen blood skin bone fragments why did I order the sausages and according to the coroner's report they removed his head and put a slice of lime in his neck?

Sorry, that's the Coronas report. Getting arrested for playing chess on the road is because I'm black, isn't it? Oh, it's elementary, is it for your own good, idiot? I think going incognito at the strip joint is a good idea, but is it really your thing? Miss Marple, there is some semen at the crime scene, what can I do? Say I love forensic science, well, I'll tell you how you'd somehow solve the crime and ask all of this week's stupid questions on the bill. An unlikely suspect. Someone who could act. The bloods have returned from the laboratory, but.

The crypts are clogged with traffic. I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Trump now, first of all, can you think of anyone who didn't have a reason to do this? These are his movements just before he was killed. The next topic is things you didn't hear at the Olympics and that is a Usain Bolt world record nine point five. in one night let's see what happens at the velodrome yes cycling oh you want a golden eye well done what in canoeing I'll get a life partner I just got out of the diving pool look at the color of my legs look at that masterful control of his javelin he really He's the best runner we've had all year well, this is the pommel horse and that plaintiff's neighing is the horse they're beating it's time for the next fight now he floats like a butterfly, he stings like a bee he has a black belt he has five black belts Oakley is the wasp and if you want to enjoy our dressage coverage we recommend MDMA and his penis has hit the top of the bar, which is a direct ban if you spoon the accusations of The new Russian drug minister in kyiv has strongly denied drug use because we feared that we Chinese were going to use doping and here is the breaking news about a fantastic athlete: Ryan Lochte has tested positive for being a and Oscar Pistorius has rushed and that is why he will only receive six years, an almost perfect execution there, but not as perfect as the one he will receive when he returns to North Korea.

You join me live at all beginnings in a state where it is unlikely. lines from a children's book mr. the stubborn one wouldn't go away, he was the elected leader of the Labor Party, uh, I'll huff and puff at you, Keith Mars as Noddy looked at his new friends, the rampant rabbit and Linda, the love egg, he realized he was in a very complicated situation. A different kind of toy town and all the animals on the Boudicca farm celebrated because Percy the pig was going to the slaughterhouse and they never had to listen to Doug complain and you little bastard again and the beautiful woman was cursed to sleep for a hundred years and that It's your defense.

Sir. Cosby, she didn't do this, don't boo, I'm Peru's Paddington Bear, Paddington said, and if you show me where the bathroom is, I'll get out this cocaine condom, it's the absolutely horrible sequel to Netflix and quiet drinks. and Amazon and there was a good happy ending, the prince loved massage parlors. I'll never tell you my name, you'll have to guess my name, said Rumpelstiltskin actually holding the line at Starbucks from under the bridge came the voice of the troll where the women were. They may be ghost hunters sent out every day Jack and Jill have to walk uphill to fetch just a bucket of water, but for only five pounds a month, oh, it wasn't a giant peach after all, James thought as he watched the Big Giant.

Friendly putting on his swim trunks he pushed aside his clothes and there, in the back of the closet and a magical land of nipple clamps and lube, is an Indian in the closet. I think he is hiding from the UK. I've been in this closet for a long time, okay, next one. Again, things you wouldn't hear on a quiz show. You've already used your 50/50 to narrow down the options to get in or out. Cameron, are you sure you want to ask the audience well in that round about sexually transmitted diseases that you passed in four? We ask you for things that start with an e.

You said a great night out with the labs. Welcome to Britain's only quiz on birds of prey. Fingers on the bells please, here at the persecution, we just want to reiterate that our persecution is not called dark destruction for ethnic reasons. Now please can you welcome our new hunter, Raj, Patel's nod, so the final rounds of the OAP quiz are the death of the south. welcome to the intellectuals, well, we couldn't call it the Smog Prize. Could we welcome the tipping point for people who are too dumb to follow the chase? His name is Keith Vaz, I mean Jim, occupation MP, I mean washing machine salesman.

I'm afraid we're going to have to take your first answer, so let's see if the capital of Azerbaijan is, if I know, your final answer is that I will marry someone else, then well, at the end of this week's episode of University Challenge the scores are Durham 170 Exeter 145, but of course. The real winner is that I have OHS dad Hugh at home. We have two questions right and we'll keep talking about it for the rest of the damn week. Well, we've given the contestants their mess and sent them to Hampton Court. Welcome to The Crystal Labyrinth, my chosen specialized topic, your wife, yes, you heard me, I started, so I'll finish well, that was the banker and he says he thinks you'll take this deal because in his box is your wife, well, today It's Kelly Brooke and Joey Essex against Stevens Hawking and Fry this doesn't make sense things you've never read in the Bible Eve took the shit from Apple said it doesn't have a headphone jack and it was all a dream and at the beginning there was the word and the word was good but it was not compatible with Max after the Last Supper came the last argument about who had a headline ah I should have known little vu the name damn Judas so it ran out for 40 days and 40 nights and Noah said the year Coming on vacation abroad I have 5 loaves and 2 fish said who once caught in breadcrumbs Jesus handed out cans of dr. pepper and said drink this in memory of me, that's right, my full name is dr.

Jesus pepper people who enjoyed this book also enjoyed the Quran and Torah there was stress in the Garden of Eden Adam wanted to leave but Eve had voted to stay this book has been rated eighteen due to graphic violence moderate threat and homophobia god is love Hell, it's 40 match points and the most important thing of all is that you won't get on the train until other people have gotten off the train. When Jesus saw all the tables outside the church, he went crazy and started destroying everything because he hated fate and had lost everything. your money for the guests the weight of the cake competition there is only one commandment greater than necessary secure the talent before you buy the cake you will not steal unless you do it at the self-service checkout birthday cards no way no, actually my mom couldn't have done that because she's a virgin the animals came to buy two oranges for twelve on wednesday ok so that stuffing is lies you wouldn't hear James Bond's signature sorry folks it's spoons we don't make martini . each one is Jagger whoa whoa we have invented a new telephone link for you it is exactly the same as the old telephone we need to buy a new charger we have the latest news on sundar bull double-oh-seven no one won last weekend it is a rollover ah Mr.

Bond welcome to this mandatory course on sexual harassment in the workplace hello names bond it's not actually double-oh-seven it's zeros otherwise Ithey would call o7o Mr Bond, I am very flattered by your advances but You are a complete stranger You work for my enemy and I am menstruating a lot Link Meet your children double Oh 503 and when he chatters to you in my full name of course Link James Skipton Building Society fixed rate a year, so another gimmick link This is a way to distract your opponents some enlightened trainers for no reason east of the link.

I have a question for you: does this testicle look swollen? So, mr. Bourne, welcome back, how was Russia? How do you feel loved? What did you rest, Mr. Bond? We just want to check that he understands how to use the new equipment. You know you can swipe left. Don't blow. I felt no. I have never met myself. I felt this. it's the easiest fight on top of a train I've ever had thanks southern train wait wait I have a girlfriend no thanks unlike these little arts hello my name tact for sale 1/10 please contact BBC genuine single man looking for a relationship call this number if my wife answers hang up for free on the phone a good home printer to listen to my talk about how I became obese eight eight eight eight eight eight eight garbage collection services yes, we're really on it.

I saw you on the subway. you were wearing the pink sweater with your hair up i had my balls out do you want a plumber who works hard for a reasonable price then you shouldn't have voted for brexit learn english in the owner's house good example use quickbooks diss credible price requests now They are open for the Donald Trump School of talking to women because those are not going to be interrupted. They wanted the Internet, since I seem to be the only person in the whole damn world who still uses the little ads. Have you lost a ginger cat?

Look at the At the top of Donald Trump's phone I tell him about my reaction to eating a South African bishop oh-oh-oh-oh eight to two respectable middle-aged lady would like to meet gentlemen for cozy evenings on country walks visits to the theater occasionally popping anal the next topic are things you wouldn't hear on a television cooking show. Hi, I'm Nigella Lawson and before baking any cake, I like to cut the flour into lines. You can see that it rises very well. She does it every time I think about it. how much moneyboy four will greet me and welcome to I can't cook I won't cook today we won't do anything next Saturday cook whatever we want because we know you're too hungover to change the channel this is a hot pot this is a stocking so if you want to bone a chicken, what you should do is take a couple of dates and buy a back pot and some romantic music and let nature take its course, there is a little problem.

In this week's food and drink, I finished it all. This is a Thai or as I like to call it, spicy Asian chicken curry. Okay, Sam, let's see what you brought in your ingredients bag. It's a pint of wine and a large maltster. Well, welcome to southern cooking for northerners, first first quinoa, what is it and why can it turn out well? If you are going to put it on, don't forget to cover it first. I didn't do it and that's why I'm making paternity payments. Hello. I'm Greg Wallace and in this

series

of MasterChef we won't be using plates, we'll just be eating from my shiny, shiny head.

Hello Nigella Lawson, here again. I'm just going to say the word spatchcock for no reason, spatchcock, anyone can do this to you. I can't, Beatriz, I'm sorry, there's nothing better than rice, welcome, welcome to the great Indian baking contest. I'm Paul Bollywood. Hi, I'm Jamie Oliver. Welcome to my new program. Put it in sugar. Things you wouldn't hear about crime. look if you have any information about this crime or any other crime for keeping your mouth shut points get points a family member paid tribute to the victim who sadly died in the fire said he was the type of person who would simply light up a room that had studies in it We found out that most of the murderers are men, so what should we do?

How can we support the murderers? Should we subsidize childcare? These suspects defecated on Boris Johnson's doorstep. Witnesses described the man as an absolute legend. No crime watch tonight, but a repeat of Top of the Pops, or now on BBC Four, the man broke into Battersea Dogs Home and unleashed all the dogs the police are desperately looking for. The criminals then blew up the safe, but no matter how much they blew it up, it stayed where it was, oh no. the northern town has disappeared starts with al and it's great the police are desperately looking for clues she liked it so rolex in nick's night it's a crime watch and now it's a little fun let's go to the blooper reel give me all your love I mean, muddy, according to the police, there were wet footprints on the bedroom rug because one of us doesn't know what a bathroom rug is.

The murderer said that he did it because he made many jokes about me to make fun, the weakest can already hack it. Were you at Weatherspoon's at 9:00 a.m.? m.? If you are, we want you to contact us. There was no crime. We just want to find out what went wrong in your life. Well, let's take a quick look at Britain's most unwanted. the victim's name was jehovah the police are looking for witnesses we know greeting cards cost four pounds for nice but if you put me on a cell service they don't weigh anything saying welcome to the party unlikely lines from a fantasy movie but the ring was lost Frodo looked Until this rectal exam had gone very wrong I was Gandalf the Gray but now, after just three washes, the Mad Lord will defeat the leper queen Rob Beckett Fox News Washington my magical powers are strong, put any penis in my hand and watch it grow, ah, Your Majesty.

I have traveled here for two weeks on horseback to deliver this important message from your Hufflepuff brother. Our great. They are harassing me. Expelled until now. Can't we just split the taxi fare now? Sorry darling no that's a fine now this is a double yellow brick road I'm for John Thor I'm more Scott tis I Merlyn Grand Wizard and purveyor of a Premier League sticker album Suzanne a brilliant Oh No, I've been bitten by a radioactive cord Roy that means I'm going to become James a caster no sorry Alice this is Sunderland after traveling through dark seas and desolate plains I'm finally home I left my keys at home from Clive, we actually find the term unicorn quite offensive, we prefer skinny rhinos, call yourself an orc, oh yes you.

I can talk to you, but can you come with me? Don't go in there. It's an absolute bloodbath. It's literally a lion in the closet. I can show my waist, oh my god. I'll start the movies for nine hours and no. You don't know what you're doing anymore, so you just get an army of undead to save the day, let's hand it over.