Masturbation is the New Meditation | Keeley Olivia | TEDxLeamingtonSpa

It was the fourth Sunday in a row that I sat in this particular coffee shop writing on my laptop and today was a special day because until now I didn't know if I was writing solely for my own catharsis, but today I knew my words. It would be shared freely with others on the Internet around the world and I had been writing well, of course, it was my

masturbation

memoir. I was mortified and excited because I was finally experiencing my version of anarchy in the UK circa 2017. something I had long dreamed of since childhood when I was the daughter of two young punks in the 90s and I was mortified because I had just I spent almost a decade of my life as a professional scientist and academic researcher and now I was going public with my

masturbation

. memories, what were people going to think?

I was writing this memoir because I had been on this epic journey of personal discovery in sexual awakening for the past five years, working by day as a medical statistician and by night doing my real job as a specialist in transformative, beloved sex. and relationship coach what I had learned blew me away my body was capable of producing these life changing orgasms things I had previously believed with some legend reserved only for beans that are not quite of this world I had to tell women what she had learned oh how delighted they would be, the female orgasm was no longer a myth and the direct path to it was about to be revealed.

It was going to tell the whole story of ordinary female sexuality, including the unglamorous and gross, along with the possibility of what lay beyond. The first time in modern history women were going to have a man get their own magical vaginas if that's what they wanted. He had conducted a grand masturbation experiment over the course of a year. I had masturbated for an hour a day. five times a week this may not sound like much to some audience members, but for me it was eye-opening, the world I grew up in said masturbation for teenagers was the norm, any opportunity to stop doing the best that could not be discovered. by her mother, but for teenage girls it was a different story, it was more hidden and less talked about, although I remember that my body felt like a walking hormonal catastrophe that made all my thoughts when I woke up be about sex.

Yes, I wanted to masturbate. I just did it. I really don't know how to consider this. A woman's sexual anatomy is made up of the vulva on the outside, home of the clitoris, and the vagina on the inside, home of the much-debated G-spot and cervix. The ancient Latin term for the external female genitalia is Pudendus and literally translates to member of shame. This is the legacy we are dealing with. The clitoris is the only organ that has evolved for the sole purpose of achieving orgasm and pleasure. 8,000 nerve endings, twice as many as the human penis and guess what every female mammal has a clitoris who knew that female mammals could be intersex for more than just procreation, now we're back to masturbation, teenage girls have "moving their bean," the colloquial term for rubbing the clitoris, but what about all that stuff inside?

How does a woman get to know her landscape? own vagina the answer is simple you need a sex toy you need a dildo now also in the UK for a sex toy from a shop on the high street you have to be 18 but you are 16 you can have consensual sex with other adults so what do we shows this? It shows us that many young women are having sexual experiences with other people without ever having had the opportunity to fully know their own bodies or they are putting things in their vaginas that were not designed to go up there and they do.

This really happens true stories from the Manatí war front, but no one talks about how female sexual urges are real and by pretending they don't exist, we are robbing women of the opportunity to truly know love, security and belonging within their own bodies when We consider this context of masturbation, things like the gender orgasm gap seem obvious, of course, men would have more orgasms in heterosexual relationships than women when they have had such an advantage. The intention of porn was that I learned to have an orgasm when I was 20 by squeezing. My vulva muscles were very tight and watching porn created a brief, twitching orgasm on my clitoris.

Later, when I decided that I couldn't be a self-respecting woman and watch porn, I bought myself a vibrator and now I discovered that it is the only way I could orgasm thinking about the porn I had watched. This made me feel very sad. I knew my body was capable of magic, but my sexuality became constricted and trapped by learning to experience orgasm while it was present in my body and not shut off in my mind. It was difficult, but I did it by using my breathing and focusing my awareness on the pleasurable sensations in my genitals and allowing the natural sound and movement of my body.

I was able to experience my sexuality in a deeply relaxed and surrendered way. This was very different from tense time. The contraction I had previously known, self-pleasure became a way to lovingly connect my body and orgasm, for the first time felt soulful and nourishing. Masturbation became my new

meditation

and I was one step closer to knowing the magic my body was capable of. searching for my G-spot and testing as if by magic I found it, it wasn't like I had never tried it before, I just didn't have the correct instruction or the conviction that it existed, the truth is that I had always been a little afraid of inside. of my vagina somewhat exacerbated by having genital warts at 19 and living in fear that they would one day return when I experienced my first G-spot orgasm that day I learned something spectacular that my vagina was not broken or ugly or smelly or disgusting or Megan or any of the other disempowering notions I had internalized about my vagina, she was in fact this treasure of greatness and delicacy with so many gifts and blessings to give to my vagina and I were becoming close friends and this really good flaw, the next expedition went north. to my cervix I had heard of women who had experienced these deeply spiritual orgasms from their cervix and, frankly, if that was on the menu, I wanted my taste, it took me about five months of constant and diligent cervical stimulation before I even begin to feel pleasure there. but when I did I can assure you that it was worth it the day I experienced my first cervical orgasm was the day I was so sick of trying that I exclaimed to my cervix if it didn't happen today I would accept my fate and move on with my life, something In that letting go of control I allowed my body and my psyche to take me to the deepest state of transcendence I had ever known.

About 40 minutes inside myself, practicing pleasure, something remarkable like a supernova happened in my vagina and I'm pretty sure that at that moment my vagina was the brightest object in our entire galaxy, the eruption started from the depths of my soul and a pleasure previously unknown to me cascaded from the center of my ray and spread to the tips of my body, which should merge with the corners of the ever-expanding universe I became all of time and space, everything time and space, the eternal and benevolent blackness enveloped me to connect me with everything, suddenly, pure present consciousness, there was not a thought or a worry, it seemed to last forever. floating between worlds is traveling through space on this giant marshmallow of cosmic angelic pleasure and then this raucous laughter penetrated my consciousness from somewhere in the distance and I realized that it came out of my own mouth and emanated from the oldest part of my uterus and I I was back in the room and tears were streaming down my face tears of joy tears of gratitude tears of enchantment and wonder and wonder I had danced gracefully through my vagina through my cervix the royal gate that It opens when each human life is ready to enter the physicality of the mystical.

In the days and weeks preceding this monumental event, a glow and a blush invaded me like I had not felt in years. I was three years old again, I stood outside in the garden without a care in the world wearing nothing but my wellies and eating mud free from wild abandon she was back I was back from the dream I'd been in for decades and no, It was not a kiss of true love, which surely does not mean that it was my magical or cosmic vagina. From this place the inconsequential futilities of life fall. Far from what mattered, what could really have been for me, this was the only place I could bear to live, it became absurd to involve myself in a world that said my inherent worth, beauty and intelligence were determined by some external factor, they didn't know what? my vagina was clearly capable of not doing it and it became my mission to educate the world and now it's 3:00 in the morning and I'm staring into the darkness of my room and my breathing is shallow and my body is cold but also hot. and there's an immense pang of panic crawling under my ribs and I put my hand on my chest and I breathe and I say it's okay mama bear, everything will be okay and I wonder how I managed to organize my life so that the interest on one This week I'll be on this stage so publicly telling the story about my magical orgasmic vagina, hoping beyond hope that someone somewhere understands that it's about so much more than a woman's orgasm, but even if it was a woman's orgasm, It would still be an idea to spread it and every time I ask myself Keeley, are you really going to do this?

I think about that display I saw in the window just two weeks ago when I was shopping for this exact outfit with this guy's statue on it. He was naked on the main street with all the nonchalance and grace of him, exceeding so much confidence in the ease of him that he is about to take a selfie and when I see him I get excited not for him but for what I might see when I look at him. On the other side of the window I will see a statue of a woman in a similar pose with a vulvar ball for the entire main street to see and not just the usual fused skin and when my eyes meet her my heart sinks because What reflects on me is that every woman I've ever known was taught to cover up and hide who she is, some part of her is not entirely welcome and I stand there looking at this image, which is what it looks like from the outside and I know in deep in my bones that something about this is not right and I know I don't have all the answers, but maybe I do have one, maybe I have a starting point from which we can begin to get Reena off this ship and her.

Next time. I wonder Keeley, are you really going to do this? My resounding answer is Keeley, how could you not? How could I not proclaim to the world what I know to be true, which is that women's vast orgasmic range exists and matters and that their pursuit of can not only be a portal to deep self-love and self-acceptance, but can also be a potential doorway to divinity within your own body. This to me is even more revolutionary than when the Sex Pistols put a safety pin on the edge of the Queen in 1977 and it's been 40 years and I know what revolution I was born for and it is the recovery of the love for healing and wholeness within the human body and the human psyche, which is exactly what this sexual revolution is about, thank you.