Martin Lawrence | I Gotta Tell the TRUTH

I know you and I said what I'm going to try to fix it and I look at a newspaper that says that Martin is trying to jump out of a plane using his jacket as a parachute and that's a little silly, right they should walk his ass. I said because I know you don't. He uses your jacket as a parachute when you try to jump out of the plane. I know you have to wear your pants, but I don't think you know that, but I'm dealing with the rumors. I'm going to try to get my social life together because now I'm divorced, you know I'm embarrassed by all that, so I'm going to try to laugh at a young girl and she goes crazy, right?

No, don't do it with him, he's got a Glock, he's got a gun in his hand I'll take a young girl to dinner and everything goes well halfway through and then she asks some fool, let me ask you a question, don't you have your lady as a hostage in the house? I looked at him like you. He's got to be one of the dumbest ones I've ever seen in this part of town, don't you think if I have someone hostage in the house and you know it, the FBI knows it, the CIA knows it, everyone else ?

Nora, I don't even want your fool. I got up and walked away from the table to hand them the bill, so I moved on. I said it one more time. We keep going because it's not going to stop. There will always be demons trying to destroy God's children. You always move on, but they will never win, so I'll move on. They can't win anything they wanted anytime soon so I went ahead and went for a jog and I was jogging and I said something where there's love just for me. Wow, somewhere there's a love just for me and I went out for a jog remixed dying dying and I was jogging and now I don't have my headphones on but I went out for a jog on a hotter summer day and we passed out, damn, like I had enough in my life already, just when I try to put it together, I passed out, my brother is lying on the grass next door, it came to this, my neighbors were passing by to see me putting it in lon, my God, they're white people, they didn't do it.

You want to know? Bother me, he's talking to me. I'm Martin on his lawn, so why does he come into the house? I don't know, that's the grass, I let him out of there, but my wife found me and called an explosion and I'm. Always grateful that I hurt my family, they were all instrumental and part of saving my life, you know, but they didn't think I was there. He was here because he was lying on that ground under that sun and his son. I was frying my head with a skullcap and a wool cap, I was fine, so they thought, oh man, they checked my pulse, they couldn't find any pulse, my temperature was 107, so the guys drove into an Atlantic, they leaned over and They couldn't feel the pulse, they said it was gone, it won't stop at the things they look at, yes, it will pick up something from Courvoisier, it's not that, but they get me to the hospital on time.

You know, I thank all the doctors and nurses that I am the last one, minus one thing. They're going to do it I'm 107 they needed to give me your ice they put nothing but ice on me they had to buy it from every store they put ice all over my body but nekkid damn it and now I don't care about that, okay? I'm hot, it reassures me, but I was naked and I had to wait for my meeting that I normally had, so I'm there like this, all eyes and them around me taking pictures and laughing at me.

I'm going to fight that in court. although now mobility because someone could have put an ice cube on my balls and twisted it a little bit, that's something, come on, I'm a black man now, but they didn't do that, they didn't do that, so my family was there in the hospital and there was no ice in the stores. The drunks came to take chunks of ice from me. Thanks Martin, get better. My family was there. The doctors tried to

tell

him to go home. They said you know and I love them. and I thank him so much for never giving up on me because I went home.

I probably wouldn't even be here, you know, and my brother, yeah, thank you, so I applaud him, yeah, it was tough, my brother scared a doctor because he didn't want to hear that he military you Tom now what he's got I'd watch what I'm going to do I'm going to walk down the street when I get back keep talking about what you're talking about, doctor, I better get out a stethoscope, something like that, so that's when they started working on me, they worked on me and the doctors did everything they They were able to, you know, man, and I thank them for that, but as much as I thanked them, I gave God the glory for bringing me back, you know, I give Him the glory.

I certainly thank him, you know, for putting his kids around me, you know, to help me, so I woke up three days later and I was out for three, you know, being out for three days. I'll

tell

you what some of the best dreams are I have a guy but I woke up everyone was happy to see me we love you we love you good yeah my hair I had a tube in my mouth I had a catheter in my dad I thought my dick had grown , yeah, oh damn, Kappa, I did. I don't know how they put that catheter in there because they could have put this in here if they had woken me up.

I'll tell you, so I had to learn to talk again. I learned to walk again. How did you learn to do all this? things that we usually take for granted you know they come so easy I had to learn to do that again my show was on the air I put out movies but I can't even go to premieres and because I can't walk I can't do all this so I said I had to work hard to get better, work hard to get better, so they told me they put me in a room and they called me and told me if you need help, you can.

Don't get up and walk around, ring this bell and we'll come in and help you, the nurse will come in and help you and this catheter was connected to a tank that I had, you know where your urine goes and one day I tried to get it. Up for God's sake, I couldn't walk in the whole urine tank, I fell, I rang the bell, baby, I dropped them, huh, I dropped my pen and this great nurse came in, you all are fine, what's so fine? Where are you wrong? Hey and she came in and she cleaned up the urine and said mr.

Lawrence, don't worry about it, it's okay, this kind of thing is going to happen right now, you know you're not strong enough, but you're going to have to work on it, it's going to take some time, it's going to take you knowing that you're working. You know you just have to go through rehab and take your time and if you need help just ring the bell, that's what I'm here for, mr. line and looked at that fine woman, be so professional, I said, I try to get up again, I peed again, ping, I got my pen, I went in and cleaned it again, I cleaned it again, this happened about ten times, I don't know and she just a woman who didn't complain just cleaning with her fine sound, then one day I was looking at something in my last joke and I got on top of it and I poured it all over it and I could see clearly because the back of the You know, the robe of the hospital is cut off, so he barely had access to my thigh and everything and he just squished, it was soft water and I was able to take his spell.

I didn't want to call her and because a nurse was very well. I thought I couldn't call her. I can't call her. My pride won't let me call her. She is so good. I know she has a good friend. I can't call her, but the smell was so bad. I said they. Today they named it a day, they took it, but it's nothing, excuse me, and this woman came in and cleaned, cleaned and I couldn't believe it, she was cleaning and she said, "Let me, let me look." crazy up here I did something then I went up MA okay I hear laughter there's a completely different joke so we start from here again for the purpose of editing so I can she went back to the room and cleaned this, cleaned this and this woman was cleaning and didn't I could believe and she said mr.

Lawrence don't worry look I know these, I told you you know your intestines and everything, your muscles aren't strong enough to be able to go to the bathroom properly, but it's nothing to be ashamed of and this woman was cleaning and then she. she started cleaning me and she stopped cleaning me that good as a professional woman was cleaning, dude, dude. Oh, I, and then that was a beautiful thing for them and after that, maybe seven more times, I would say I got past the hard part. The little doodleball had corn and stuff on it and she cleaned it up, she cleaned up Tim's doodle, she was mad and then I, all that professional, went out the window, she came in here, okay, sir.

Lawrence, so this doesn't make sense, can you two grow up to this? Okay, you weren't in this hospital or let me tell you that you're not worth your muscle all over the place, that's just not cute and you won't act. Like you want to be with me I don't want no fucking man it's about my hair my hands should be my aunt's so after that I think she quit because she couldn't keep her hands off me so she quit and I was. nervous, I didn't want to call anyone else and bird anyone else with my so one time and I just sat on it, yeah, I threw the flour on the side about ten days, I just sat there and I was thinking like I was baking and I wasn't could.

I haven't taken it I wanted it in a bed I said I know, I don't want a bird No one I cut The mother took a pillowcase and put it on my head, put it under my nose and cut out my eyes and I look like a fucking superhero my pride won't let me call her but the smell was with me and then they finally found out here that the funk was coming from my room and everyone ran towards me and I started, I went into the now I thought about blaming people and I said someone there is a series going for his hand, he came in here and gave me the drugs.

I wasn't in it again. Not after what I went through. I finally stopped peeing. I stop. I'm starting to learn to walk. talk again, you know, bring it, bring it, get out here, you know, and now I couldn't believe it. I said, well, bring my son, give me my life back like he was getting it back. I'm going to ride this until the The wheels are falling off and that's why I'm serious and I was feeling good and I was getting ready to leave the hospital and I was getting ready to take the gauge out. I didn't want to see that.

I'll be. honest because I was going to wear that, I was going to make people think it was my big one, I was going to paint it the same color as my penis, put a vein on it and become the hottest dancer in the DC review, but they took it down and I back to life back to reality and I was getting off for sympathy right before I left the hospital, the nurses were coming into my room while I was packing it up, mr. Lawrence, you're going home, how you feel good, good, good, we're glad you're back, we're just happy you're back and don't forget to ride it to the wheels, would you like to ride it?

I would like to take a look at it, I put it together a little to get it out of there and what can I say that I learned from all that, from all that, if you recapitulate, it's that we are human, no one is immune to the trials and tribulations of life yes yes. I love baby I love you I will talk about that but I say it to say that we fall but we get up