Late Night Nightmare w/ Kimmel, Meyers, Colbert, Fallon, Letterman & Noah

Oh my god, hello James, what are you doing here? I'm watching you sleep, it's three in the morning and yes, but I need to talk to you about the good thing about you leaving, we're here to tell you that you can't. just leave a talk show, we, James, host the network's

late

night

talk show, we make you part of a very exclusive club and if we are going to let you go, we need to know that you will keep our sacred secrets too. I hope you do not mind. I borrowed your mouthguard. What are you talking about?

What secrets do you know? How do we not watch every TV episode or movie our guests promote? I'm sure you're telling me that I didn't need to watch all four seasons. Mozart in the jungle of course we didn't have to see Mozart was never even in the jungle damn it, I miss my sister's wedding because of that fake laugh we all have when a guest tells a story that isn't funny. I'm not going anywhere, no, of course not, I live here, will you stay? We'll be right back with more James Harden. Everybody look guys. I appreciate that you all feel passionate enough to break into my house, but I promise not to reveal any of our secrets and look now, can you leave James?

Have you thought about this? But what other job will allow you to start singing and dancing every

night

? I don't sing and dance every night you do. It's been very similar to a lot. No, I went almost two years without singing or dancing once, yes, but that was during Covert and then as soon as Corbett was done, you did a big musical number with Ariana Grande about how Covert was over. For more information on this, it's time to take a closer look and after that immediately there was another crash, okay look, I've thought a lot about this, maybe the most difficult decision of my life, but I'm leaving, in that case We will have to establish the terms of the official departure.

I had to go first, you can't look like you're enjoying retirement too much. You're going to grow a beard, a huge one, that says: "God spoke to me from a bush." "You know," God spoke to me and told me. me, I don't need to be on this offer, don't get big ideas, stick with corporate gigs, podcasts, maybe the mass singer, come on, this doesn't feel fat, you know, when I first moved here to the United States to take charge of this program. I heard about the Night Wars but then I realized we are not in the War, we are a family that we have been through a lot together, when you think about it we are just some fun guys who like to spread a little joy just talk about this you're embarrassing your country I'm talking about dividing your ideas divide divide my ideas yes you're going to leave your show we find out who stays what's okay what does everyone want to share karaoke in the car but that's all nothing I have other parts you know?

Yeah, what's really up with the Emoji news? What's that? Know? We take a news headline and turn that headline into emojis. The audience has to guess what I mean. Now I say it out loud. It doesn't sound like that. the best idea but look I'm sorry you can't have any of my ideas I'm not going to grow a beard I'm not going to do any of this okay okay in that case you don't leave us the option we don't want to do this but we're going to have to revoke your invitation to the Met Gower what we heard is a different topic is she a decadence of everything no oh thank God it was just a dream just a dream okay