Key & Peele - Gay Wedding Advice

- WELCOME, JOHNSON FAMILY. She now WE ALL KNOW WHY WE ARE HERE. COUSIN DELROY IS MARRIED... everyone: MM-HMM. - TO A MAN. WHICH IS CRAZY. - MM-HMM. - AND WE SUPPORT YOU, AND WE JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH THE DETAILS OF A GAY WEDDING. WHAT I HAVE DONE IS TAKE THE INITIATIVE OF BRINGING MY FRIEND GARY HERE, WHO IS... I MEAN, HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY FRIEND. He is a coworker of mine who happens to be an active member of the gay community and will give us some

advice

on what to do. So, Gary, what... what can we... what can we expect? - ALRIGHT.

Well, first of all, guys, thank you so much for having me here, and I think it's really amazing what you're doing for your cousin Delroy. Actually, he just wanted to say, basically, that a gay

wedding

is like a straight

wedding

. YEAH? YES SIR. - SO MEN WEAR DRESSES AND THEN WOMEN WEAR SUITS? - NO. NO NO NO. You'd be right where exactly what he would wear to a heterosexual wedding. - NOW NONE OF US ARE GAY, SO I GUESS WE WOULD ALL SIT THEN IN THE STRAIGHT SECTION. - THE STRAIGHT SECTION? - YEAH. - OH, THE STRAIGHT SECTION.

IT MEANS OPPOSITE TO THE GAY SECTION. - NO, NO, THERE ARE-- THERE ARE-- THERE ARE NO SECTIONS, GUYS. - BUT GAY PEOPLE... - NO, NO, NO. THAT? YOU WOULD JUST SIT DOWN. AND THEN THE STRAIGHT? - NO, LARRY, LARRY, LISTEN TO ME JUST FOR A SECOND. - BUT THEN THE HALLWAY. - YOU WOULD ONLY... ONLY SIT ON THE SIDE OF THE PERSON YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH OR YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, LIKE AT A STRAIGHT WEDDING. - SO WE JUST GUESS WHO IS GAY. - OR NOT. COULD YOU JUST... YES. - WE WILL GUESS WHO IS GAY. - WELL.

GUESS WHO... - WHEN IN THE CEREMONY DO WE SING ABOUT THE RAINBOW? - Well, you don't. DONT DO IT. THIS IS A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY, SO YOU WOULD NOT SING THAT DURING THE SERVICE. - OH, EVERYTHING WELL. - ARE YOU FINISHED WITH THE QUESTIONS? - NO, I'M JUST ASKING. - I'M NERVOUS BECAUSE I CAN ONLY JAZZ WITH MY HANDS FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES BEFORE MY HANDS START CRAMPING. - OH, LORD, I DON'T THINK ANYONE IS GOING TO EXPECT YOU... I DON'T THINK ANYONE... I DON'T THINK ANYONE IS GOING TO EXPECT YOU TO DO JAZZ HANDS. - NOW CAN WE SEE THE PONY SHOW FROM THE STRAIGHT SECTION?

OR ARE WE BEHIND SOMEWHERE? - MA'AM, AGAIN, THERE IS NO STRAIGHT SECTION. WHAT IS A PONY SHOW? - YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY GO LIKE THIS. - NO, THERE WILL NOT BE-- THERE WILL BE NONE OF THIS DURING THE CEREMONY. - OH. OH. - WHEN SINGYMCA? - OH. - SIR, NOT DURING THE CEREMONY. - WELL. - AND MACHO, MACHOMAN? - NO. - I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BUY NON-GAY GIFTS. - WELL I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT A GAY GIFT IS. GENERALLY, WHAT COUPLES DO IS SIMPLY... THEY JUST SIGN UP AT A STORE... - HEY. - AS A STRAIGHT COUPLE WOULD DO. - THE GAY STORE, OR... - JUST A NORMAL STORE. - WHERE DO YOU GET THE EUROS TO BUY GAY GIFTS? - ARE YOU SAYING EUROS?

YOU WOULD NOT USE EUROS. - NO, IT'S... IT'S... IT'S A GOOD QUESTION, FINNEY. WE... MUST MAKE SOME EYE CONTACT TO MAKE SURE COMMUNICATION IS TAKING PLACE. - YEAH. - I THINK YOU WANT TO KNOW IS IT A DIFFERENT CURRENCY? OR IS IT MORE LIKE CAMEL CASH? - NO, JUST GOOD OLD FASHIONED US DOLLARS, YES. - DO WE HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN ANAL SEX? - OH! - OR CAN WE JUST WATCH AND CHEEK WITH A FIREFIGHTER HAT? - NO, THERE IS NO ANAL SEX OR FIREMAN'S HAT. - AH OK. - IT'S CUNNILLINGUS. - IS THAT A QUESTION, SIR? - WHEN CAN WE SING IT RAINS MEN, HALLELUJAH, IT RAINS MEN? - DONT DO IT. - So there are no gay anthems in the ceremony? - LORD, THERE IS NO GAY ANTHEM. - THAT? - WELL, DOES THE FAKE PRIEST LOOK LIKE A REAL PRIEST OR LIKE A NUN? - HE'S GOING TO BE A REAL PRIEST. - OR... - NO, THERE IS NO "OR". - HE IS A SEXY BOAT CAPTAIN AND THEN TAKES OFF HIS CLOTHES? everyone: OHH. - THAT?

NO. NO. - DO WE PUT SOMETHING MORE THAN RICE? - LIKE WHAT, SIR? WHAT WOULD YOU THROW TO IT OTHER THAN RICE? - I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. COUSCOUS. BOWLING GAME. - GUYS, A GAY WEDDING IS LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING, OKAY? IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME. - WELL, WHEN YOU KISS, IS IT OKAY TO STAND UP AND SAY "EW"? - NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE... THAT WOULD BE HOMOPHOBIC. - THIS ABOUT THE MAN WHO DOES NOT ALLOW GAY HYMNS AT THE GAY WEDDING. - It's okay, but like an involuntary gasp. - I guess I would just try to stop that behavior. - WELL.

Then... I'll look away. - OH LORD. - NOW IS RUPAUL GOING TO BE THERE? - NO, I DON'T THINK DELROY KNOWS RUPAUL. - NEIL PATRICK HARRIS? - NO. - OH, DOOGIE. - WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR PHOTO ON THE INTERNET? - THIS IS RIDICULOUS! - EXCUSE ME, GARY. "RIDICULOUS." IS THAT TERM GAY? - Okay, yeah. I will show myself. - OH, HE'S A LITTLE ITTLE, isn't he? - NO, YOU CAN LEAVE. - GOOD LUCK. - WE'RE JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT HOW IT GOES. - COME ON, STEFAN. - I THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH.