Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz

Joe Rogan Podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan Podcast by night all day this is a good way to open the podcast because Jamie is an expert on all things black Twitter well what What's happening Jamie? Don't know. There's a lot going on, there's a lot of rumors, the rumors are that Diddy was running some kind of Epstein type deal where he was filming everyone, right, those are the rumors, yeah, I don't know if there's any proof of anything more than that . It's like we get rumors from the Internet and the Internet thinks the Taliban destroyed that bridge in Baltimore, so who knows who knows what's real, that's what I think Diddy's lawyers said, these are just false charges.

It's not fake, I don't think they said that, but like charges, man, when Homeland Security invades your house, you have problems with guys with guns and bulletproof vests, someone said they weren't there to take things, they were there to erase everything. like the real people that were there, you know, oh, that's funny, oh, that's funny, yeah, that's F, of course, there's layers upon layers when you get into these conspiracy theories, man, they never end, they never end, it's just layers upon layers upon layers, it's fun Talking about it's fun to talk about, it's hard to know what's true, but people really love it when they catch someone like Diddy, even though the Glee people get is strange, because they are so successful and it's like there's always been so much East Coast, West Coast.

That's still like in the Zeitgeist, you know, with Biggy and Tupac and everyone hated each other and they were both killed and there was a lot going on and then there were people who thought Puffy was involved and Sh Knight was involved talking about I think Sh Knight was who said that. I just thought about what it was about them being there to delete things. Well, if he was really filming, everyone let me see. I mean, I had a lot of people at those parties. Do you know who said? Luke from two Live Crew yeah, he said he had to leave early when Luke from two Live Crew leaves early like you're having a wild party.

What if what's happening is too much for Luke of Two Live Crew? Please, there are so many different ones. stories who knows what you're going to do I'm not going to do anything we're not involved in it I was never at D's party I don't even know I don't want to know nobody nobody tells jokes like I told you having fun that's smoking drugs making jokes making people everything else It's background music and living in Los Angeles you have everything going on around you that's what you know you have your life and then you have all this stuff coming in and out of your ears all day and you're like, I just want to make it clear that too you have these celebrity environments where all the celebrities hang out and there are so many of them, you know, and these wild parties and if you have a wild party and P Diddy throws that wild party and you know he sets everyone up like you're a intelligence, you know, like a Jeffrey type deal, that would be the way to do it, big crazy party, release everyone and get, get, I get them. the me and everything else I have them small everything you need get excited, turn on those cameras and now you have everyone in secret what a twisted web some people weave you there yes, you have to concentrate well, that's a skill you never got the hang of , your own skill you never learned it, sometimes you have no choice but to do it, yes, no, I should have done it.

You're sitting there with a joint. I admire people who do it when I see a person who can roll a solid joint. I think he's an exceptional person, he's like a person who can play the guitar like, oh you took the time, there's a skill level with that too, some people can play some good ones, oh yeah man, like he did them a machine. I've seen guys on Instagram driving their car doing a hand roll, that's the next level, yeah, that's the next level, that's the next level. Charlie Murphy could throw a hard hitting Charlie Murphy is one of those you know who else throws a hard hitting Lewis.

Leis Gómez, yes, Gómez prepares a tremendous joint and he does it the real way, he doesn't just split the joint, he opens it and licks it, no, no, no, he takes out the paper and lets you know, he cuts it like it's him . I'll untangle a cigar and then I'll take this, the tobacco paper, cut it up, dip it, and put it down. I just want to get high. It's like free Bas and Coca-Cola. I have to run it through a sock and it has to dry. No, just give me the joint, I prefer, I like smoking blondes, but that's what gave me pneumonia last summer.

I started smoking blunts, yes indeed, you got Amon, pneumonia, pneumonia, pneumonia, last summer. Do you think that's definitely why, it was that and the sleeping, what was it, it was a lot of what it really was, I had an abscess, oh, and the sleeping mask, oh, I cleaned it for 20 years, dog, this was. I'm filming a movie with Kevin and it really exploded in my mouth as it was. filming with Kevin oh you had no idea no and I'm spitting up blood and P and I'm like oh and then I started feeling bad Oh No thank God we W thank God we W I'm like no I'm going to get home.

I couldn't even drive. Get home. I went to sleep the next day. I went straight to the doctor and that started. You know, because doctors aren't. Now they send you to 20 different places. By the time you arrive, you know what this started with the pneumonia, what they saw something in my kidney, what is that when you have a kidney stone, kidney stones, yes, they go, we have to start drinking whatever. I'm like kidney stones, yeah, so I went to another doctor and he said, "You're not a kidney stone, there's something wrong at the bottom of your lung, oh, and there's a cyst on your heart, a cyst, something that went on growing over the years, like a small boil on one of the valves. oh Jesus okay so he sent me for another one and finally Eisenberg sent me to the real deal and he says this eliminates everything when I left there I thought he was going to say we're going to make an effort and all this. not just aspirin I just want you to do a baby roll really that's it he goes your heart is perfect you're good that's all my calcium score was good which was very surprising you know I stopped eating bacon in the morning yeah how is that alone?

I just make avocado toast instead, you know, I prefer to make avocado toast with an egg and a plate of fruit, that's good, yeah, that's perfect, you know, I used to eat a cheese omelette with 10-piece fries of bread with butter. so this works, this is better, this works, you know, it's definitely better, get them healthy fats, yeah, how good is that sushi place you went to, oh my god, yuk, shout out to Yuki, hand roll Jesus Christ when you got up to go to the bathroom. That's when he dropped my muffins and I thought, who is this?

It was just a slice and especially now with this new economy where sushi is getting smaller and smaller and smaller. There were two pieces of tuna there, I'm completely big, they give it to you. great pieces on Yuki and the guy came from noou super sweet guy really nice you guys had a great time remember we've been coming here since '98 and we used to come here we used to go with dad yeah and uh there was another place we went , the Mexican place Papacitos and that's it, and that's where we went for three days. Look what you have here, yes, it's like an empire.

You were all talking in the green room last night about all the different restaurants and you didn't stop you moved here so many people moved it didn't stop you not everyone had a suggestion how about this place where they ordered a steak here eight people raised their hands food Mexican go to that place that is fusion whatever? There are so many good steakhouses in town that people forget you know you're going uh you know you're going oh you've got Jak Carver is R parry's parries Bobs Bobs there's excitement in Three Forks Three Forks is very exciting you know the last two nights the store in It's the height of like 2019 2018.

To be honest, I would do my announcements and I would have to go to the kitchen and sit alone in the corner and I would just watch to think this was actually happening yeah because I would attack. all you liked was that they were celebrities, yeah I remember one night half of the UFC was there, yeah you know you look around there's eight guys in the UFC right there and you're like what's going on up here, what are they. all these people, you know, the last two nights I had to leave early and you go home and you can't sleep, yeah, last night when you texted me, I was awake.

I got home at 11: I couldn't sleep because of everything. writing and thinking and going over your head and you're what stand-up does to you at night is you know you can't be an early riser with stand-up because even if you do it at the 8:00 a.m. show Unless you're a depressed you're thinking about that set, yeah, even when you're eating with your friend, you know where you weakened tonight, even though you did very well, that joke didn't work, you're thinking about how you can make it better, that's what I got lost. I didn't miss the planes, I didn't miss the hotels, right, I missed having four ideas and starting to go on stage and trying to connect those four ideas and when those four ideas connect, I just say four ideas, three. different premises true true it's the best feeling it's better than sex it's amazing Better than sex and that's what I missed everything else I didn't work with the agent at all well there is a relationship with the audience that is so pure because you know that they they know you like it they really know you they know you by podcast they know you by your bits they know you they know you by conversations they understand it and then they watch you put together this thing that is really for them it is for you because you create it and you know they pay you to say it and you have a great feeling that you did it, but for a person like a fan, like when I was watching you last night, like I could see a lot of new things that you were doing.

What I was telling you was killing me, but it's a beautiful feeling, it's a great feeling when someone you really love is really fun, they have new things and they're killing it and it's like this, this atmosphere, so there are 250 people. We're all sharing this moment so it's super positive and as always it makes people feel better, they leave that place and feel better, so when you know you can do that, then you get together in the Green Room and then you say: ah, this at one point it's like something's missing there's something clunky about it it just feels fake it feels like it's too good I have to rework it I have to rework it and then you start from scratch you realize but it's only because You want to get to that place where the fan, the audience says, yeah, ah, you hit it with something they didn't see coming and, oh, or they can see something that maybe you did six months ago, but now it's tight, it's tighter, yes, now, now it has. all these new jokes and new avenues you could take it to, it's the worst thing is when 3 years later and you get a little bit and you say you know what I wish I could use that part right now, that part I did. three years ago it fits perfectly here now but you like it if I mention it people will know I'm telling old jokes yeah but sometimes you just throw it in there anyway who cares just because it fits it's perfect it's funny the whole idea is just know as fun as possible yeah I got here you're always supposed to come up with new M material but you know I don't care when someone puts out something old the other night when I got here I landed. at 11:30 picked up my luggage between 4 and 12 I left when I got in that car, you should have seen that airport, it was live at midnight, yeah, tons of people coming into Austin.

I mean, I thought this had changed this airport a lot. It used to be a Sleepy Hollow, yeah, the whole city, the pandemic changed the whole city, you know, and then a lot of the tech companies moved here too, that was a big part of it, a lot of these young people just didn't want to be involved. from San Francisco they already say that we have to leave we want to live there who would want to live there it's dangerous it's strange you know Elon was saying that five of his friends have been assaulted or robbed five you can't lock your car yes, you have to leave your car somewhere crushed because they are going to crush you, how do you live like this?

Yeah, you, they basically empowered mental patients who are drug addicts to just live on the streets and everywhere and harass people, and there's no sign that they're changing things there's no, it doesn't seem like they're changing things at all. absolute, except when XII ping came to town. I told him that if I were mayor I would buy G Jing ping and like when he is in the city, everything was clean when he arrived in San Francisco, they moved all the tents, they put up fences so that people couldn't put up the tents again, They cleaned the streets and Gavin Nome said, "Well, when guests come over, you clean your house." What a crazy twist on the fact that you could have fixed this all along and chose not to until the dictator comes to town, you know, and my criminal Hay Day.

I used to move around a lot and ended up in San Francisco. August of '85 I was in Boulder, the police were looking for me and I said where am I going? I went to the airport and chose the location and went which is the closest flight here out of San Francisco. Well, take me to San.Francisco and I went up there and I went straight to the Lo Joe tent and it was Buck Wild. I mean, for a city kidcrazy, these are in New Jersey, New Jersey, you immediately say, oh okay, I see what's going on, look at the cancer survivor fund, hey, they survive, that's what they get. 9% go to programs. 87% go to fundraising and I also think a lot of times they make their name something like good, like there's probably a really good Firefighters Foundation.

That's not good and they call themselves the Firefighters Charitable Foundation. . Yes, only 7% go to the program. 85% goes to professional fundraising fees. What does that mean? Professional fundraising fees. But a lot of them are like that, but you also have to think if you're going to run a charity, you have to pay people something that kids want. The network look at this, they raised 127 million, paid lawyers 109 million and spent a percentage on direct monetary aid for royal children is 2.5% 2.5% look at the cancer fund. In the United States, less than 1% went to direct cash aid, but when it comes to direct cash aid and paying lawyers, who are the lawyers that count as lawyers?

That means they get paid to the organization and then they only pay that amount to the people who apply costs that they're probably trying to buy go up, yeah, over their overhead, it's all good mm, yeah, so it's mostly a scam, look at the International Union of Police Associations, look at that one, that's the reason I quit 0.5% that's why I quit, that's crazy I work for the police and that's when I found out that three years I worked for the police making donations on the phone after I was arrested. I saw it in Boulder and when I went to Seattle I did it there and then in Seattle I found out what the cops were wearing I'm done, I'm done, give me 50 bucks.

I'll give you a sticker for the back of your cars when they pull you over, they know that yes, you donate and these guys showed up in Maserati every Day, they have two owners and I'm like you, it's like what happens in Los Angeles with people homeless, you know, Noir sent me H for that, he told me they were getting six figure salaries like no way and some of them making 240k a year, yeah, no, no, taking care of the homeless that aren't being taken care of, no, they're not doing anything about it, no, they just have to keep the business going, that's what happens once you're 20. 30 50 anyone making six figures, all that money keeps coming in, you have all those mouss to feed all those mortgages, all those PEs that now you have an industry, now you have bureaucracy and you will never get that back, no, you would have to.

He's got this crazy guy coming in like, who is that guy from Argentina? the guy who just became president of Argentina with the crazy hair that guy is incredible, it's like everyone kicked everyone out, he kicked everyone out, he reduced that budget to nothing, nothing, yeah. he got rid of everything, he's really crazy when he works for the police. Did you know that I loved him? It was great. I had a great time in that office. I would be up there smoking dope, but with the police, that's how it was. like a cop there, he didn't care I'm here raising money for you but even he was in on the scam you know it's like he came man when you have money that's donated like cash that's donated it's just going to move it's like you have to help these people, you know, and look now, when I came from Cuba as a little kid to learn how to do anything, the reason I learned how to do anything was because of the Police Athletic League , I swear to God, yeah, everything that shoots, fishing in Central Park, boxing show, you know, you shot pool, who do you think shot me at pool, really, Police Athletic, yeah, right there, 88 in Amsterdam, it's a smart decision, so I was always in debt.

To those people who are always in my heart for being a Spanish child, they took me in there, they took my fingerprints, they take you to the police station, you shoot a 22, they give you the target, oh wow, they give you like a badge, you know, and you say, ah, so I always wanted to. working for them, that's how it was. You always know and then after I got in trouble, I say, you know, I have a debt that was very good to me. He was the guy upstairs, so I always work for the police. I always tried, don't you know, to get people to donate stickers or, you know, bulletproof vest and all that, and then we'd do comedy at benefits in Seattle, even though I got arrested six times, it never worked, they didn't do anything for me , maybe they would have arrested you much worse, much worse, but it was crazy when I found out, I was like, "I'm out, I'm not doing this and now you." I know you want to help, something happens at Hurricane Relief and you're like, I'm not right, I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to do it because you know better and you feel like I'd rather see someone give you 20 per cent. the guy's hungry, yeah, just go ahead and give him a 20.

I'm going to give him the leftover food or whatever, just give the guy a 20 so he can make his own decisions if he wants to snort it or buy fent and he's all set, no it matters to me. It's not my problem, but I did my job. The Red Cross seems good, but neither was the Red Cross one of the people helping people plot a path to enter the US illegally. Things that the Red Cross was doing at Google, but that could also be that the Red Cross is a legitimate charity and they realize that these people are going to do this no matter what and they show them the way to do it that's safe if they're going to do it, they're going to do it, I mean they're going to do it by showing them the path that is safe for me, it seems to me that you know it's almost an ethical thing if you know that this is happening and then you give them help. the way so that they don't die it seems that you know that the whole issue of immigration is very complicated you know that you come from immigrants I came from immigrants or my grandparents were immigrants but it is the way they are doing it where anyone can pass It is so wild that The Red Cross has provided maps to migrants traveling to the US border.

Now what the reasoning is is that the Red Cross is giving maps to migrants. The map on social networks is real. Different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the International Committee of the Red Cross. The ICRC is a consortium of Red Cross agencies, including the American Red Cross. The map is part of a safety information booklet provided by aid organizations, including national Red Cross societies, to migrants traveling to Central America. The booklet also includes information on sources such as where to find food, shelter and medical assistance, while the map has existed since at least 2018.

The American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the Covid-19 pandemic to promote these safety materials. Red Cross logos appeared at the top of the map. The American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after the covid-19 association expired. The current brochure containing the map shows that the current partners are the National Red Cross societies of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador. I do not seek to encourage or discourage migration but rather contribute to migrating vulnerability mitigate the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route I can live with that I can live with that live with that that is fair yes that is not encouraging people to to do it that's saying they're doing it, let's do it so they at least have a safe way to do it.

Listen man, this immigration situation has changed everything since New York City, Chicago. They're everywhere, you know, and yes, tax money and New York money. they give you $10,000 now an ATM card, right, they give you $10,000 for your microphone, something like that, yeah, you know, and I don't know. There's a lot to say, as you know, look at our vets how they treat them, look, you know. I'm going to send you this Jamie, he looks at what's happening in Paris. They started. They were trying to run these guys out of the country. They started a riot at the airport.

Who is trying to expel illegal immigrants? I'll show you Jamie. I just sent it to you, yeah, and they say no, we're not going, they say you have to go, there are many of you who say no, we're not going to fly and they started traveling at the airport they were trying to deport him and they like uh -uh we're here listen all I remember is one thing Joe and I used this and I'm not saying anything bad about anyone. I was look at this give me the V this is a complete Donnie Brooke at the airport they are beating up the attendants the security guys are getting up like a wild man so they took them there too they try it yeah they have many many many a lot of M immigrants in Europe, yeah, it's basically happened right after the pandemic in Mass, it's massive amounts of immigrants in Europe, massive amounts of immigrants here, it's almost like it's on purpose, if it's not on purpose, what a coincidence, but it seemed like no immigrants were coming in, but What I was telling you before is that I think I told you the last time I saw what Mario Boat Lift did in my area of ​​Hudson County, not in 1979, but I saw it 5 years later and then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco when we got to San Francisco 95 there was a huge Cuban population when they got to San Francisco so these are the people that took off from Mariel in 78 79 when Fidel kicked him out yes he kicked out 160,000 people, we had no records of these people, so they really didn't know what it was, they could just tell you that I worked in construction, you know, and they didn't know, so this is that, but 10 times true, it was 100,000 people 200,000, this is 8 million or something like that, yes, of course.

It happens at least you are not going to feel this today you are going to feel this in five years well, they could feel it very soon depending on who the people are and why they are here you know, the most worrying version is sleeper cells. The most worrying version is that there are military cells that exist here. Chinese terrorists were coming in and now they are growing marijuana. They are Chinese? Jamie watches the videotape. The Chinese are buying farms. You just had someone here who was talking. the chinese are buying farms here yes they are definitely buying farms what do you think they are doing with those farms that grow sushi?

The Freedom of Information Act request said more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese nationals who believe they are dealing with Joy B wow 275 adults on Main and weed is burning there in New Hampshire , TRUE? they say it's the best weed right now New Hampshire really New Hampshire somewhere up there New Hampshire Maine they say the weed is so strong H H look at that yeah they are growing so what is the legalization of weed in Maine ? Is it legal? Not sure bro, it's legal in many states now, yes Maine, New Hampshire.

I think how much cannabis can I possess. Adults 21 years of age or older may possess up to 2.5 or more of a combination of canned cannabis, cannabis concentrate, and cannabis products, but not more. of 5 G of cannabis concentrate how many plants can I grow Mayers can grow cannabis for personal use that is reasonable is that your phone is not ringing something that is you brother it is ringing like a telephone telephone you have the old school ring there you choose that yes, yeah and Jersey money right, what do you mean marijuana? I started going to marijuana stores in January.

I said: you know what I have. I'm done with laughing gas. I have to expand my Horizon, see what's out there and the first one I went to. It was a Neptune and they're pretty impressive, it's a big joint, I can't remember the name, it was pretty impressive. The second place I went to is 15 minutes from my house, Jo, right next to the doctor's office in Freehold Holy, and that's when I discovered Rhythm because I was like listen, I'm here to see the devil, I don't want to know that Jersey Swank, you know, and it's just that everything is in containers, it's completely different, you know, and they have I got this beat 36% Jesus and I say, this is my dog ​​from I guess this is what this affidavit of probable cause of where from China the Chinese thing about the Chinese immigrants in Maine says we are in prison before please come and save us we are here give the address uh there are no cell phones we kidnapped in China the passports were confiscated the boss is a 5'2 female, about 45 years old, no transportation, manager is black haired Asian, 5' 6, lots of marijuana grown on first floor, lots of finishes. products No Escape from the house just work but no pay I want to get out of here we tried to escape but we failed they beat us please come and save us so they got slaves working making weed in Maine yeah Shanghai yeah yeah and that shit is strong.

That Boeing mechanics are smoking isn't so crazy. It's crazy. There are slaves in the United States right now growing marijuana for China. Let's see where it goes. It's interesting. It's crazy. I saw this a couple of weeks ago. I read the article. Like, oh, and then that guy said it on your podcast and I was like, well, he said about Farmland, yeah, but I didn't know it was happening like that and you think they're growing bean sprouts or bean sprouts. Jack, well, they're controlling the farmland, they're on military bases, that's scary, and a lot of Chinese were crossing the border with these guys.

M,the most you can get for that, right, most people don't do it. I did it when I was 19 years old. I knew that for me it was going to be commission work, yes, and it is a dangerous choice. It's a dangerous choice, but it's based on you, on how much effort you put into it exactly if you want S when I worked at Foot Locker I was the number one sneaker guy at Foot Locker, you know, and it took me a while, but I went, You know? true, and then when I started selling cars again, I did it because I loved it.

I learned about the art of selling. I learned about human nature. Yes, I learned that you have to mail letters to people. Those are the people I know aren't going to buy. a car but if you send 100 letters three people have to buy a car so you're working on all the numbers you know America is a beautiful place because a guy like me could write a book think about that yeah you know a guy like me could know that she went to prison You know that I did not receive Social Security when my mother died CU she worked under an Alias.

You know everything went wrong for me, but let me tell you what's about to happen. I will retire when I am 65 and collect Social Security. and my daughter now gets Social Security for three years, which is like 18,800 a month for college or whatever, you know, I don't give a damn, so it all came out. 40 years later, I didn't have social security for Yo because my mom used Alias, but what I mean is dog, you can do whatever you want. You saw it, Joe, we were talking about that today. Kids came here with cars, they lived in their cars and look what they're doing.

Now, because they believed in themselves, you gave them a door and they took it. Most people still are now. My agent said nothing is going to happen. Well, you know, it's the same thing. Some people take risks. Some people sit there waiting for the blue bird. Happiness, yes, that is the other option you have in this country. You can sit and wait for the blue bird of happiness. When I got out of prison, all I had to do was sign a paper and I was disabled for life. I receive $1,300. review every month and some people would take that and look at me.

I'm living like a doctor. Think about it. Some people would pay 1,300 a month. That's me. Food coupons. That's me. I can still take my pills. I can yet. You know it's crazy. The decisions you make Jo are so crazy and they can put you in jail for that amount of money, even a small amount of money can put you in jail. That's what scares me about universal basic income. You know, people say that if they gave everyone for granted you can't we get 10 checks in the mail for a thousand a month they cut us off we don't know what happened right I'd rather not get anything where are all these people after they all got checks in the mail now you can't get people not to work further? right, you can't get people to work, you go to a place that's a big restaurant or something and the first three people you meet don't even know where they are, right, but they hired them, you know, you gave money to people. now they're not going to come back they're going to build ways not to come back people were living large during Co Doug living large unemployment this we still had to go out and make stupid jokes outside being attacked by spiders and thinking there was a leopard in that thing, seriously, the first time I hung out with Rich Voss I didn't know what that was, a bat almost hit me on stage and I told him and he said oh you missed the other night there was a bear and what are you talking about there was a bear in the woods I don't know what some bear or boar was talking about, well there's a lot of them in New Jersey, right, yeah, you told me that last time, but you know, beautiful man from America, where But can I be a criminal with two strikes?

I got two strikes, my next strike is life, right, they give you like 20 years if you get three strikes, when have you ever met a guy who got two strikes and did whatever you just did? Give up, yes, they are RNG, catch me. I refused. I told him to suck my dick even when the feds were looking for me in '99 for that gun. I wasn't doing it. I do not know what you're talking about. Don't know. I don't know, man, I won't, this is the path I'm taking, I don't know what and I never got in trouble again, Joe, you never know, comedy became, you need something to get you out of there, yeah, you know , I did it.

Not only did he not stop doing cocaine, no one just stops doing cocaine, it shows that they go to rehab centers to eat, but I saw something on the other side, I saw what my friends were doing, I saw what people were doing and one time that you heard that Roseanne received The Tonight Show Were you there? You were there? When Rodney blew up the yard, no, to see, it's a completely different thing when you're in the store with guys working the door, getting what they charged us 25 a shift. She was paying me $25. Sunday nights to work the door and 25 for MC that's not money but you fall in love with what you're doing yeah and you know there's a way and there's a way and when you start to see other people get up and you're stuck like an addict, you're trapped, you don't know when to stop.

I was stuck like an addict and I ended up stuck like a fat guy because there was a point where if my elevator broke, I wouldn't leave the house. walking those three flights of stairs I was 450 pounds I won't do it if you're really that big 4:18 420 I was my wife I was tying my shoelaces you know I'm embarrassing that's wow you know how embarrassing it is to look back Now people come visit you and J that's life man yeah there's so much stuff out there Joe there's so much and now I could that's what I'm trying to sell my daughter there's so much stuff out there Yes, you know people in New Jersey.

All they know is Florida. I have never seen people who love Florida so much. I can't stand Florida because they like it so much. You know, vacation for people in Jersey, a week in Atlantic City, they bring out the white shoes and then there's a week left. In Florida that wasn't going to be me. Did you see that policeman on TV yesterday? They were saying that if someone breaks into your house in Florida, please shoot them. We'd rather you shoot them. That's what we come to now. Did you see that guy? I've seen it Jamie, I'll send it to you.

I mean, he's getting a lot of heat today. Oh, is it him? I don't know, not in Florida. I bet they say, yeah, God bless Florida, your little brother Zen, yeah, thank you sir. A year ago I guess he's the same guy, yeah, that's the guy who says, yeah, save the taxpayers money if you shoot Home Invaders, he's probably here. Felony for unoccupied dwelling. His seven charges total bonds of 157,500 and I mean uh as for the person we don't know which homeowner which homeowner shot him um I guess they think they did something wrong and they didn't if someone is breaking in at your house you are more than welcome to shoot them in Santa Rosa County we prefer that Actually you do so whoever you were you are not in trouble come see us we have a gun safety class we teach every other Saturday and if you take it, you'll shoot much better and hopefully save the taxpayers. funny money, that's Florida and then, Dan Santis just came out because all these houses are going up, um, people are occupying people's houses in New York.

I'm sure you've seen that lady get arrested because she changed the locks on her own house. someone is squatting in her house she came into the house she kicked them out they changed the locks they called the police they said they were tenants they arrested her they took her away in handcuffs because the squatters were in her own house and then there is this guy on Tik Tok who I started to making videos explaining to people what the laws are and how you can get into people's houses and how you can squat, so it's a genuine problem because in Georgia there are a thousand houses right now that people is squatting, that's a giant number of houses the squatters just took over these people's houses are they people who are out of town or is it real estate, you know, maybe you're trying to sell it, maybe it's your house vacation, who knows, maybe you're fixing it up, who knows, but nobody lives in it, they move, they take over, they have it now, it's just that everywhere there are many states, but it's not Florida and Florida, they're like you, like DeSantis just had a little press conference yesterday about it. like in Florida, that doesn't fly, you know that there is no way that someone will take care of your house in Florida, which is what people want to hear, you know that nobody wants the way they look, if you work very hard, you get a house and you have A second. house, you can use it as a rental property or whatever, you're trying to make some money and then someone takes it over and the system works for them and not you, there's a big difference between tenants and squatters, and if you can't make that differentiation we have a real problem we have a big problem yeah that's a big problem someone is going to get shot that's it 100% that's how this changes that's how this always changes a guy comes home what Are you eight people doing here? "It's not supposed to be him, he doesn't know anything, he's from Russia, he doesn't know anything, he's an old man from Iran or something like that, he doesn't know anything, you're in my house and they'll put him in jail and they" I'll put him in jail but he'll shoot those guys. eight.

Something bad will happen and that's how he changes Joe. The thing is, once people start going to jail for defending their own property, you've made a mess. You made a mess. You made a mess. giant mess and then the criminals will realize this and they are already there, they are there, they are two steps ahead of you, they are two steps ahead, they know what the rules are and they are going to get lawyers to work with them and give you They're going to rob the house so let me ask you this. You're going on vacation with your wife.

I'm moving into your living room. You're coming back. You're just going to greet me with pretty eyes and say no. I don't know how that works. Don't know. You're going to call 911. There's a squatter here. I have to get it out. He is going to come. No. How long have you been here? I don't know. We were in Europe. I know whatever you're telling me, well, I think some people can't do anything right physically because they walk into the house and there are men there. Did you see about that lady in New York City that she went to clean it?

Mom's house and there were squatters there and they killed her, yeah, they just got these guys, young people, same thing, they found out no one was there, they broke in, they changed the locks, whatever they fixed it, it stayed there, did they? You know? This changes brother, yes, there is always a guy who sets the example, sets a big and deep example and then people do well. I'll think twice before doing it. It seems the only way to really change is the law. I just do not get it. why are there so many laws that have been around for so long that when you see Common Sense Solutions like Ronda Santa saying no you can't make that stop, that's not going to happen in Florida, that's how every state should be, they should say no , you can not. robbing people's houses that should be simple that has nothing to do with being a democrat or republican it's like stealing property just like no one should be able to steal your car no one should be able to steal your clothes they shouldn't be able to steal your house it seems logical no.

It has nothing to do with racism or xenophobia or white privilege or any of those silly things they try to attribute to this. It's just Law and Order. We have to have a set of laws that we all follow if we are going to have a peaceful society in which no one believes anything. victims and criminals are not empowered and the fact that that is complicated in 2024 is so strange to me that I just don't understand it almost as if it were on purpose, as it was intended. to keep things chaotic, keep us, you know, on each other's heels, keep us at each other's throats, keep us trying to figure out what's the next problem they have to deal with and while all this is happening in Ukraine, all this is happening with green energy and Bill Gates is buying up farmland like God, can I have a moment where I can relax okay, even the squad thing, when did this start?

This started coming up about three, four years ago during Co, right? It definitely existed before, but I think it's increased considerably as things have become more woke because I think as things have become more woke, you start to look towards the rights of well, they're squads, they have nowhere to go, listen, nobody is in that house and no one should have a house that is unoccupied where people are homeless, like well I'm going to pee, go ahead, I'll wait until Law and Order releases an episode on squatters and I'll learn more about it. Come back and it's okay, we'll be right back.

What did you bet on Dustin? You bet Dustin over uh Benois Syon. I just looked at the card and said, "You know that's a good bet," it was a good bet anyway. I like Cheeto and I like sugar so I couldn't pick one and then all the fuss around the guy and Dustin. Everyone is betting on this Soldier, so I took the opportunity to watch the fights. It's not that I've bet every fight. I just bet he would. I would have liked to see that fight with him without having personnel. I was going to have a timeof signing up for a membership, it even single-handedly helped some CDs become hit hoodies and the Blowfish, for example, is I am said to have sold over three million copies of crack rear vis through this service.

I was going to try to flip through it to find out, yes, what it was. I think what they did is you would sign up for a credit card bill. with this and suddenly you started earning like 20 dollars a month, yes, and it was very difficult to stop. There was no credit card in my day, they just sent the penny and you got 12, yes, no. remember a credit card I don't remember signing up with a credit card I how a credit card you sent the penny you sent the penny there's the degraded audio quality in '94 uh stereo archives magazine published an article analyzing whether the quality of Columbia House or BMG CDs were actually much lower than what could be found in a traditional record store.

The unconfirmed belief was that the service used lower quality master tapes and on high quality equipment you could tell the difference, but that's about it. lack of royalty payments not confirmed, here's another increase, so it says um Mental Floss points out that those free CDs usually cost Columbia House $150 each to create a pretty low amount and overhead in those days, The reason they were so low, well, they didn't have to pay royalties for the gifts and made the money back on the margins; in other words, that Nirvana album you got for free from Columbia House gave KK Cobain a total of 0 wow, so he didn't get paid for it.

The model the company used relied on customers essentially forgetting they had signed up for the service and then randomly sending CDs or cassette tapes to people who hadn't requested them along with an invoice. Yes, the same thing happened with Girls Gone Wild. Like you get one and then they keep sending you a new video every month, tell us more, Jamie, what happened to you. I never paid for it, but I remember getting some free DVDs in the mail. High profits after gifts ran out. After receiving these cassettes and distributing them, the company charged consumers high amounts, but they also stayed.

Most of the profits from the album sold Mental Failure suggested that the company earned up to $7.50 for each album shipped. Wow, I wonder how much they paid the gangs for Columbia House's aggressive bill collection tactics, um Consumer Affairs and scam records, every report page in the service and their collection agency Trident uh Asset Management coming back for Miles, if you haven't paid for those CDs you got in the '90s, they're probably still looking for Shake You Down for your money, Joey, I didn't make them. in the '90s I did it in the '70s a long time ago, you know what I'm saying, I still remember the album I bought, you know, the first time I got from Columbia House it was what a goodbye, Miss American Pie, Oh Don, whatever his name was . it don what was her name I forgot that I looked like her Miss American John M don mlan don mlan mlan I still remember that one that I bought like uh another Santana brais that was a song that was played at parties and everyone just starts to sing, yes this would be a great song, great Jam, yes what else does Tyson Fury make the whole audience sing?

After one of his fights, I think Tyson Fury sang that song, the whole audience jumped up and down, which one is Neil Diamond's. the new commercial with a group of black Mexicans in a bar jumping up and down and I'm like black Mexicans will never jump there songs they that's that guy drives me crazy he said it very quickly I'm like having a blind mind right now, but the thing is They sing it a lot like at baseball games, it drives me crazy, they sing it in the Hamptons, I know they sing it in the Hamptons all the time.

The Gentiles gather together. Sweet Caroline. Sweet Caroline drives me crazy, oh God. God, he sings that one too, yes, I love Neil Diamond, no, but that song when he shows up in a bar and I see that it's not the song, it's the people's reaction to the song it drives me crazy and now they have a commercial for Budweiser or something sweet with brothers and Mexicans jumping up and down, stop, stop, it's a great song, Tyson Fury recovers to cover, yeah I love that guy, oh that's the way to end the boxing match singing, oh my god, that's great, amazing and he understood everything. multitude of things everyone stayed most people leave when a fight is over, especially when you win by knockout, they stay because they want to hear him talk, you know how unusual that is when a whole crowd is willing to stay to listen to the guy talk.

What happens in a UFC main event when, for example, someone wins, there are a few people who stay and want to see the post-fight speech, but most people head for the door? If Leon Edward started singing Sweet Caroline, that would be great. I love Leon. that would be cool or something that people know, there are some of those songs that everyone knows, someone with a Brazilian accent to sing Sweet Caroline or our boy Romero, correct to sing and sing Sweet Caroline Joey to this day. one of my favorite podcasts of all time, you translated for Yoel Romero, he had me lost, my Spanish?, you know, I have to be around those people every day, you're pretty good, you're pretty good, you're pretty good.

I know he was, you know, that's the character that guy is, bro, he just won, he still hits me, yeah, he's still a good guy, he just beat Thiago Silva in U in pfl against Bellator, that's us. I love you. he is the godfather, that guy imagine what would have happened if that guy had entered MMA at 22 years old, he didn't even make it to UFC D when he was 30 years old, that guy would have killed everyone, what is it now? he's 46 47 yeah he just beat Thiago Silva he Thiago Silva is still legit he's still super dangerous that's crazy Thiago Silva took a split decision with Jon Jones yeah that guy and Romero just beat him make sure it's a split decision that might not be correct I want to be sure about that, but it was a close fight, close fight like he came in, he's a good fighter, Johnn, with his knees up, even though John destroyed that guy's knees, when is John coming back?

Well, John, uh, he tore his pectoral muscle, he's big, he tore it off the bone in wrestling. In practice, you can see it in the video. He shoots and they're in the fight and he just screams and falls back and clutches his chest. Split decision Split decision yes, on a judge's scorecard Thiago Silva beat the greatest fighter of all time. Santos excuse me Thiago Santos beat the greatest fighter of all time and then yoel just beat him I mean I know it's been a slide since then what was that 2017 what year was that Jamie 2016c 239 the date no does it say the date in like?

Wikipedia. I'm looking at his main page, the main page, all kinds of statistics, but not the date of the fight which is interesting, here 2019 19, okay, that wasn't that long ago, man, five, 5 years ago, yoel has uh I think he's at least 46. He turns 47 at the end of April he looks great he looks great he moves great he looks great he doesn't look slow he doesn't look old he's still the best team in America um that's a good question I don't know who always comes We meet these Cuban scientists, yeah, they come from Cuba and stuff, someone's doing something right, you know, just one of the UFC guys, Wal Harris, he got four years, four years, four years and he's got 40, so that's essentially a career ending, you know, but when you're 40 years old and you're fighting and training every day.

You do two days and three days as a brother. Your testosterone is defeated. Your system is defeated. Do you know you're putting a tax on your system that's very difficult to deal with at that age really oh yeah it's a big difference, you get a guy that's 22 years old and you put him through a fight camp and that's a guy that You can recover as long as you are doing the right thing. right things, he's eating right, he's sleeping well and he's hydrating, he can recover, you can get through camp, it's hard, I mean, a real fight camp for MMA is one of the hardest endeavors in all of professional sports, you have to fight five rounds. 25 minutes of actual fighting in a championship level match and you're getting kicked and punched and wrestled and knocked down, you're trying to get the effort level back up is crazy when you watch Cheeto versus uh sugar Shan. at the end of that fight, even though Sugar Shan did a clinic, I mean, he did a clinic at the end of that show, he got beat up and he walked out of there with a cast on his foot and his arm, he's limping down the hallway .

I mean, he won and then Cheeto just got smashed, man, his whole face is smashed. I mean, those guys are exhausted, they went through hell and it took them 12 weeks to reach peak fitness to be able to do that. I mean, it's a crazy way to make a living as a man and you depend on all these things that break so easily, all these things, this is how you're going to use this to make a living and feed your family, you have a wife and children and will depend on your tissues and bones to stay in place while they smash people in the face and smash you and lock your arm and rip your leg off. this is happening to you they are pinching your neck your back is falling you are pinching your lower back your hamstring hurts and your hip hurts now and you are fighting hurt you are going to fight everyone fights hurt everyone fights hurt everyone fights you know it's like you said 12 weeks and it happens yeah can you know you have to find a way to get to the cage and some of them like Tom Aspen didn't even get his rib up. getting ready for that fight with Sergey Pavich, so he likes that he can't even fight.

He's fighting this gigantic, scary Russian who throws everyone into the dark dimensions and he can't even fight. He can't do the one thing you would think he needs. what to do to that pavlovich guy all up Derrick Lewis standing up he many people up taiu iasa he is people hitting them standing up he is a dangerous cat he is a giant he is a giant giant and Aspen not even you could know it, but he had to take that risk and it worked for him, you know, but then look at Islam makev, you know, when he had the rematch with volkanovski, he's preparing for Charles Olivera, Charles Olivera gets cut, makev intervenes or U Alexander intervenes on 11 days' notice and has a rematch with a guy being put through a whole camp its crazy that never happens in boxing if tyson fury gets cut 10 days before he's supposed to fight anthony joshua they don't just call usyk and say what are you doing In 10 days?

That never happens. especially at the championship level, not just at the championship level, but also the two guys who are widely considered the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world, number one and number two until the ilot Toria fight number one and number two in most people. eyes raised until makev's second fight before that fight it was volkanovski it was like there was a debate if it was makev or if volkanovski was number one and then makev knocks him out with a kick to the head he's only had 10 days to prepare it doesn't seem like the same thing they shake him down, they beat him up in that fight and then he goes and fights too and they knock him out, so the whole world you live in goes from being the best pound for pound fighter on Earth, man, to just months later you're not even the best in your division anymore, the best guy in your division just knocked you out and now he has your belt and he's 10 years younger than you, that guy is also strict in toari or whatever, he's dangerous. tight he is tight everything is so sharp his technique is impeccable everything is impeccable his boxing is so dangerous he is so dangerous everywhere he is dangerous with submissions he is dangerous with kicks he is dangerous his heart is dangerous he fought this guy ji Herbert and went up at 55 for that fight, so he's a 45-pound fighter and he said it.

I'll take a fight at 55. Ji Herbert kicks him in the head in the first round. He is a nasty fighter. He is so good. He is very skilled. He is very, very good. He stood up abruptly and caught Toria with the perfect kick to the head and Toria, you like him, he's in real trouble, they dropped him and he scrambled, he caught him in the next round he sent him to the dark lands, he attacked him, I mean, he literally put him to sleep, face-planted him. and he comes out KO he is an animal guy he is a real problem because he is intelligent he is dedicated he is motivated he has that type of confidence that those champions have where they know they are the best even before they are the best he knew he was the best even before and he is literally fighting the best guy in that division and he's telling everyone: I'm going to fight this guy in two rounds, when is he fighting next?

Good question. I don't know who he will fight next. so he wanted to go and fight Islam makev in 155 and then um that was a talk people talked about it and then um then they were also talking about shashan said he wanted to go and fight Toria but Toria said no I want him you do it. fight Morab, who is also from Georgia, just like Ilia was born in Georgia and Mor, Rob is the legit guy who should fight at 35, soSunday home no, I'll come home tomorrow but on Sunday I'm going to Easter Sunday and I'm going to aaria, they have this thing they make uh Sunday sauce $33 dog $33 a meatball this big they give you a pork rib that's in the sauce a stick big like a big pork rib to give you a brol and a big sausage for $33 I usually share it with my daughter I can't eat all that the meatballs are to die for it's to die for he gets mad at me it's like you tell people about the meatballs no one is going to spend money on the big ones come here on sunday so you know who makes the sunday sauce joe well that was always a me yeah i don't know how to do it and people you know do it but this ain't no drama , you just go down there, oh, I love all that, but even I got like now, I just broke the plate.

I can't eat it all anymore, those days are gone, the meatballs are so good, although Joe, yeah, there aren't many. I mean, I haven't eaten at many Italian places around here, but I'm sure there are plenty. have you been to samies i heard samies is great have you ever been there that's the place people keep talking about i liked it there's only one place there's a place in sea caucus or rutherford it's owned by speia you eat this meatball your heart goes will stop it's that good Yeah, but Elnido also has some good meatballs, yeah, good ones, well let's leave that old East Jersey shore immigrant style Italian food, well, they put everything there, right?

And the meatballs, especially the Sunday sauce, when you see the oils. It bubbled on the surface of the pot and grandma stirred it with a wooden spoon, my grandma did it, yes, my grandma was the great cook, she was crazy, my grandma knew how to cook, she made homemade pasta, she got flour off the kitchen table. . there rolling everything doing it with the rolling pin spinning the pasta through the machine look at that good Lord, how is a person supposed to eat well and healthily when it is available? Oh, that's Osteria, right, yeah, the dog is pretty good.

Joey the dog is not around, no, but you are. I also don't have to give credit, what credit is Du those tacos the night and that's just from the truck on the street, that's the truck on the street, yes, but guess what I can't understand, that in Jersey the Mexican food is horrible , really, I even said it. one of the waitresses we were talking to, I go, Mexican food is terrible, I go, the fried beans look like they're made of, you know, like a powder, like powdered mashed potatoes, and the kid says that the They got, I go, I knew they were refried into powder.

They have refried powder she food Mexican food is horrible I don't know where these Mexicans come from they are not Apocalypto the food is terrible that's the only thing I miss about it and that sushi yes, I missed the white tuna dish with garlic on top and the onions, oh, LA has recovered, it had good food, but damn, they killed so many restaurants. I already know the sushi place I used to go to is dead. Sushi Dan is dead, yes a lot of them went under, but brother what you've done here is I have to congratulate you. man, that's a great club, like I told you, I was blown away the first night, it's been pretty F, it's uh and it's been a year already, it's crazy since it seems like it's already been open a year and everyone's been coming for here, yeah, everyone, everyone has come this way, that's crazy. yeah, it's been crazy, it's been amazing, you did well bro, we're just getting started and we're just getting started, yeah, it's been lovely having you here too, it's just to see what you're doing and see the club, there's so much going on. enthusiasm like that club, yeah, you know, when you walk in, people are happy that you like it.

I told you I love to watch. I'm a spectator, brother. I love to sit, smoke weed and watch, don't say a word and what I saw, the way people interacted with people coming in and everything was beautiful. I was like there's no idiot here, you don't feel like you know what I'm saying, yeah, and you definitely feel safe there, yeah, yeah, cops, they're all there. so it's great, it's a great thing, man, and it's family, you can feel it in the air, yeah, and that's what there isn't, there's a, but there's no, and that, it's perfect there, yeah, it's perfect when that dog from the Green Room when I took my Take off the first night the clothes smell so bad from all the cigarettes cigar cigarettes acid speed none of that around here no, you don't have anything no, yeah, no, you hear it from me no, I wouldn't do that to you, what's wrong?

What we don't have aromatic salt for Joey, you didn't give me any, you didn't have it, we always have aromatic salt, that, that, Zen, I got up before that holy 12 migr, it's six o'clock, but yes, you, you, it you took right after we ate and you. They were like no, I was EA, that's one. I swallowed the first one at the restaurant on top of the sushi and then gave it to myself. I had another one in my pocket because when you take one, sometimes you take two, right? stay together, yeah, don't swallow them, that's my advice to you, well, I already swallowed like six, so it's too late, well, not anymore, don't swallow them anymore, no, I won't swallow anymore, but I have to get some more, brother.

Okay, I guess I love you with all my heart, thanks for inviting me here. The family is a family comedy. The family is a comedy. I haven't

experience

d it, but we're lucky to encourage each other, yeah, you know, I'm really happy for Tony and the garden. I'm very happy for Redband, you know, it's amazing and that's what being a comic is about, also giving. I love these people, the people go, you know what you're doing, good man, yeah, the girls, I love the girls, you know, Sarah's there this week, yeah, she was happy to see me, I was happy to see her, You know, Kim is coming tonight, so Elanor, yeah.

She's been great, Ron White, see you Brian Simpson just released his Netflix special. Donell was here, yeah, it's been amazing, it's been amazing. Now it is a big city. I love you, I love you, I miss you too, but we will do this, come here next month. and then I come here in May and then I'm too hot for Uncle Jo, it's okay, don't worry, we'll take a couple of months and then by September I think I could do my own residency in 45 minutes, come on Joey, that's it my plan. beautiful, okay, bye, all love you guys.