Interview: Catatonic Schizophrenic

- How do you feel? ... Good. - How long have you been here? ... Three months. may 17th. - And what brought you here? ...That's hard to answer. - Could you give me some ideas? ...Of course, I can't. -Whose idea was it for you to come here? ...My psychiatrist. -And what happened for you to end up here in the hospital? ...The psychiatrist decided. That this was the situation for me. - Did he tell you why? ...No, the psychiatrist didn't. -Has anyone told you why? No. - Do you have any idea why? Yes. - And what is that? I'm not completely like... other people. - What do you mean by that?

People don't like me because. I'm not completely like them. - And how are you different? I'm trying to do something with my life that... few people try to do. And... this influences my way of thinking. And consequently my actions. - What are you trying to do with your life? ...He plays the piano for people. - I'm not sure... - How has playing the piano for people finally resulted in you being here in the hospital? ...I feel differently. When I play the piano. And when I'm away from the piano I sometimes look different. From other persons. And this has caused.

Dislike. From the people. - Don't they like you because you feel different at the piano? ... Yes. - In what way do you sit at the piano so that people don't like you? ...I can't describe it. An illustration. How I feel. -And I can't imagine that would make people mad at you, or at least not like you. -How do you know they don't like you? ...My father does. And. Doctors do it. Because. Of the road. I appear. In relation to the way I feel at the piano. And I occasionally stand up when I'm away from the piano because of the way I sit at the piano. -How do you deal with the fact that when you are away from the piano they don't like you? ...I can't describe it.

An illustration. - Do you "feel" anything different from other people's posture? ...Yes, it feels different. - Which way? This... this is getting too complicated to describe. - Would you be right in assuming then that... - you don't feel like you belong at the hospital, - but that other people did? ...As soon as I express the belief that I don't belong in this hospital, which is a psychiatric hospital, then...those who don't like me want to find me a worse place. - I'm not sure I understand. Could you clarify that for me? ...No. - Is this a way to... ...A hospital---Yes, I can.

As soon as I express the belief that I don't belong in this psychiatric hospital, those who don't like me want to find a hospital where the living conditions are not as good. - But why are you in the hospital in the first place? I'm not clear. ...Because I'm working to do something in my life that most people don't do... This influences my way of thinking. And occasionally my actions. And... A psychiatrist has realized this. And he doesn't like it...-What has he noticed? ...the actions, and...the thought, and he has decided that he should be here.

To change them. - What actions? ...How I speak. And how I look. Right in this moment. -And how would you describe your way of speaking and looking at this moment? ...The way other people talk, and which at this moment however I have been told is not the way other people talk and look. - Do you have any idea how it is different from the others? ...Not because I think it IS how other people talk. - So from YOUR point of view, not from the point of view of others, from YOUR point of view, - You look, you talk, you think, you behave... as others do. - You are very interested in learning to play the piano. - You sit at the piano a little differently than anyone else would and you stand a little differently. ...Sometimes my position is different. - That, uh... in itself, doesn't seem like a good enough reason to be in a hospital. - So what other reasons have they given you, or what other reasons do you understand are the reasons why you are here? ...I'm not supposed to do it.

Be mentally well. - And what is supposed to happen to you? ...No doctor has told me. - That's hard to believe. ... I say the truth. What are your plans? If everything went well and you left the hospital, what then? ...I need financial help from my father to prepare. Me. To get a job. As a piano teacher. In a university. Where I can teach. People how to play the piano. And also play the piano. For the people. - Have you already had the training that allows you to be an instructor? No, I do not have. - You've tried?

I don't understand what you mean by... - Have you tried getting the instructions? ...Yes I have tried. - And what happened? ... I have not had. The right environment. For instruction. Nor adequate financial aid for training. Nor... the correct instruction. - Have you been accepted for such instruction? ...By some teachers. Yes. - And... for others, right? Yes again. - MMM. It's been about half and half. - Have you initiated any instructions of this type with those who approved it? ... Yes. - And how did it go? ...Some have done well. Some have not done well.