In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts | Dr. Gabor Maté

read some statistics, there will be 47 new addicts in this room out of the 331 that are here now. That statistic comes from a 2017 U.S. Surgeon General report that one in seven Americans now faces substance addiction, not counting those who already are. For an addict like me, the financial cost is also staggering. It costs our economy more than seven hundred and forty billion a year. How many of you know someone who has an addiction? Raise your hand. Okay, look around the room. Keep your hands up. That's a lot, I mean more. of half the room at least now I'm not going to ask you how many of you have an addiction, although many people come up to me and tell me I'm in recovery, so that's why I want you two to meet each other and hear what what does dr say gabuh ramante has to say and we will do it.

I'll ask you some questions and then I'll open it up for some of you to ask gab or dr questions. Mattei was born in Hungary and survived the Holocaust at the hands of the Nazis. He and his family then immigrated to Canada in 1956, where he specialized in neurology, psychiatry and psychology, as well as studying the treatment of addictions and many different diseases. Moore's books and articles are considered some of the best ever written in the area of ​​addiction and you know you have to read everything you will see. I think when you hear me talk to him you'll see how brilliant he is.

Even if you don't have a personal connection to addiction, you certainly have a financial connection, and based on this statistic I gave you, there is a very good one in seven chance that someone in your media family will struggle with addiction in the near future. , so you should do it. I know the best sources and how to think about this to make good decisions. This is something I'm reading here just to give a little context. However, I believe that addiction is one of the most misunderstood, mislabeled diseases, we currently penalize and cannot punish. people's pain and there are a lot of people here in the room who have behavioral addictions that this doesn't even address so I'm going to ask Gap War about this and several other topics so please welcome my good friend dr .

Gabor Matta, thank you sir, can I make something clear? Yes, I just need to correct a couple of things. I did not specialize in neurology and psychology, psychiatry. I wouldn't know much if I did. He was a family doctor. I worked in addictions and all kinds of other fields, but that bug bio looks like it was taken from Wikipedia and I don't know, put it in there, but the second thing is I'm not going to do burpees. He does some burpees. Three months ago I decided to do thirty. six thousand five hundred push-ups a year, that's 100 a day and as a result, on December 4, where I speak, the events ended this year.

I'm having hernia surgery so I know burpees very well, first of all, it's great to have you here and as I mentioned, you weren't in the room when I first said it. This is the first time I've brought someone like you and talked about this topic at a business conference like this and the reason I did it is because some people may not see the relevance, but I want us to be able to describe to them what es and there are many things I can ask you about. I want to talk, let's show them their relevance.

Alright? addiction, let's write then an addiction is complex but it manifests itself in any behavior, any behavior in which a person finds temporary pleasure or relief and therefore craves but suffers long-term negative consequences and cannot give up. Now notice any behavior that you didn't notice. let's say drugs most of the time we think of addiction you think of substances and that's certainly an important target of addictive behavior but I said any behavior that could be a game could be sex could be a relationship could be the Internet could be Facebook could be shopping like in my case it could be eating it could be work any behavior that gives you a temporary relief of pleasure but so that you suffer negative consequences you don't get up that's an addiction and let me ask you this question I'll go into that definition how many people are here will recognize that at some point or another in their lives they have had some kind of addiction, at some point it's okay, that's how relevant it is mm-hmm, okay and if I continue with that transmission, let me ask you another question for which I will ask some of you to simply raise your hand and shout your answers.

I won't ask you what you were addicted to or when, or move on. I'll just ask you what you liked about it, what it did to you. For you, what did it give you in the short term? So who would tell me? Pain relief relief. Thanks to everyone else. I'm sorry. Alright. Control. Control gave you the pain of pain. Give you control. What else? that loneliness was about learning well let's look at these things now escape from pain pain relief feeling in control relief from loneliness what else do people say oh that's really for anxiety in other words inner peace so right away when you understand that you understand that addiction was not a problem your diction was your attempt to solve the problem and the real question is how that problem developed how come there are seven billion yuning in the world? he felt alone how come you lack the sense of agency control? your life why did you have so much emotional pain and everything you have said loneliness lack of power love controls anxiety these are forms of emotional pain so my mentor around addiction is not why addiction but why the pain and this is where we can talk more about it, but as you and I know, the current model of addiction is the legal model, which says that it is a choice that people make and therefore we have to punish them for it, or is it the medical model, in which case it is a hereditary brain disease but it is not transferred to those things where in reality it is an attempt to solve a problem of human life a lot of emotional pain loneliness anguish anxiety whatever it is and the real question then It's what happened in my life or yours Joe or everyone else lives here that we suffered pain and then how do we deal with our pain?

Because addiction itself magnifies the pain, it multiplies it, it increases it exponentially, so it begins with pain, as Eckhart Tolle, the spiritual teacher, says, addictions begin in pain and end in pain, yes, well, it was in this scenario. last year that in fact, for the first time, I spoke publicly not only about my drug addiction, which I have known for several years, the first time I started to talk about and then about drug addict and what do I children cocaine? Was it cocaine? Yeah, well, I mean, Ecch, when I was 16-18, it started with I was getting high every day and smoking marijuana.

He didn't take speed pills. He snorted methamphetamine. I snorted cocaine and there was one day that I remember where I was, when one day I was taking LSD, I was smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, taking mushrooms, snorting the Crystal Method, all in one day and well, I mean, now I was in bad shape in my youth. Gabor, when I was in Vancouver, you took me around the East Side of Vancouver because for many years I have treated some of the worst addicts on the East Side of Vancouver and during that time, you know, I did a lot of drugs and then I got away from the environment, I started working out and ended up getting a job at a psychiatric hospital as a mental health technician and taking the patience there was for one's addiction.

I would take them to a meeting at any meeting and I would sit in In those meetings I never realized later in life how much relevance they had had, but the central addiction was a sexual addiction because I was sexually abused as a child, my mother died when I was four years old. Sexually abused as a child, they didn't pay me money for not saying anything. between the ages of 8 and 10 and I got it into my head that sex is not an intimate act of love and unity, it is something that you release if you encounter interruptions.

There was something else here too, so I'll talk about myself and Speaking of you, so one of my addictions has been working, in fact, it's an ongoing challenge for me if you look at my travel schedule, so I received a certain message from the world. I was born in Budapest, Hungary in 1944, to Jewish parents, two months earlier. the Nazis occupied Hungary, so I spent the first year of my life with my mother under Nazi rule, who and she were terrified all year, as you can imagine, my parents were murdered in Auschwitz, etc., my father was at work forced.

The message I received. of the world is that the world is warming not because Hitler didn't like me because I didn't know Hitler, but because my mother was unhappy and children are narcissistic in the developmental sense, they take everything personally, so when things happen bad things, it must be like that. be about me and if she is not happier with me, cock, not with the spiritual teacher says that the greatest gift that parents can give their children is their own happiness because children take it personally, it is about We, we must be great creatures, so when my mother is not happy and depressed and terrified I receive the message the period does not love me and then I want your vage to give you to a stranger to save my life so I don't see her for a month I receive the message there was no mommy now in Canada 30 years later 30 something years later I became a doctor but one way to deal with the fact that they don't love me is to become a doctor I wasn't one yet and I don't love you all the time they go to love you when they are born, they love you when they are dying and they will throw baby ready at every point in between and the pagers are always ringing, this is before the cell phone of course, and the pager is always on and you get validation every moment. and what it is is a compensation for the feeling of being unloved that I have never dealt with now.

In your case, you also received a message that you are wanted through your body, you are desired by your body, you by you. You are wanted when you are sexually available that is the message you receive, what are you going to do? Especially if you look at men who are addicted to sex and women who were addicted to sex, there is no such thing as a monster with a nymphomaniac, a nymphomaniac, that's just a slander, but really women are or sometimes , men, who have learned that only through their bodies and only in the sexual act or they actually wanted it, that is really addictive because we all need to be loved, yes, and I think that is also what is behind this .

You know, and I lived with so much shame even though I started making money, I always had that deep shame in that secret life and I just struggled in the, you know, what became more apparent to me was that I was in a, ya You know. I became financially able to join a high-profile group and I joined a high-profile group for people struggling with sexual addictions and in that room were billionaires, famous athletes, politicians, Academy Award-winning actors and actresses, you know, men and women, and I saw. people that the world admired in their most broken states and I realized that, wow, you know that whole saying about what is most private is what is most public, so many people struggle with this and that is why I now wanted to use the platform that I have in It's important to go out and try to change the global conversation about how people view and treat addicts with compassion instead of judgment and right now the criminal justice system is treating addicts when it needs to be something more, well, If you look at the The criminal justice system is really based on this idea that, like I said before, addiction is a choice that someone makes, if someone doesn't consciously choose what I'm doing, punish them, you don't punish people because they are suffering and you're trying to escape their pain, you help them well instead of turning them into criminals and number one, number two, it's very arbitrary what we decide if it should be legal or illegal because give me a thousand heroin addicts who shoot up four times per day in an amount that does not cause an overdose and I get a thousand people who smoke a pack a day and another thousand who drink a lot.

My guess is that a thousand will be the healthiest and live the longest at the end of 30 years, by far, their own group, so by So far and I'm talking about medical facts, some are not saying that heroin should be legalized and sold in corner stores as if they were cigarettes, but I am saying that the decision to criminalize it is totally arbitrary and has nothing to do with either science. or logic or humanity, right, I mean, you know you can't punish people's pain and I mean, I have some statistics here that I heard you say that you know 911 happens every month, actually, according to the Presidential Commission on Addiction. to opioids. crisis and, by the way, even when we talk about the opioid crisis it's a pretty arbitrary determination, not because it's not the crisis, I mean, according to the president's own Advisory Commission, every three weeks a 911 happens in the United States like like result of illegal drug overdose, we are only talking about drugs, we are talking about all other religious talks and illegal drugs.

I never talk about alcohol, cigarettes or anything else, we're just talking about overdoses and now it's affecting the white middle class. In factIt is helping to reduce the life expectancy of middle class white men for the first time in a long time, but it has been affecting our Aboriginal population for a long time; It's been happening there for decades whether you vote on native reserves in Canada or in the US Suicides and overdoses have been happening at epidemic proportions for decades, we just don't think it's that big of a deal now that it's happening to us or the people we care about, it's a crisis now and then if you ask the question right.

Why do the Aboriginal population have this tremendous rate of addiction and, again, that's a very different question because this whole idea that addiction is a genetic disease falls away when you look at the Aboriginal experience because the North American Aboriginal people had access to potentially addictive substances for a long time. Before Caucasians came here, they had access to tobacco, they had access to alcohol in New Mexico, that access to attack substances like peyote and they even knew that these substances they had not even used, but how did they use them? They used them ceremonially, not to obtain. and decrease their consciousness but to raise their consciousness they used it to connect spiritually with creation they used it to create community and in contact and culture the addictive use is the opposite the other use is to escape from pain and it is alone and it is not communal If the The problem was genetic, why weren't they addicted before?

The reason they did it was knowledge, because the severe trauma they have suffered for hundreds of years is on the verge of extermination and I don't have to give them all the details, I'm sure. You know the same thing in Canada, so what I'm saying about addiction, in summary, is that every case of addiction originates in trauma and that trauma can be overt, as in the case of the Aboriginal population, when their children are taken away in Canada. Residential school center for a hundred years where they were sexually abused and beaten and their culture and language were denied in British Columbia in 1960.

I know a woman who was four years old in 1965 in my province of British Columbia and who was four years old was kidnapped. to the residential school where she spoke her tribal language and the punishment was that they snuck a four year old girl into the air for a whole hour and then she sits there for our entire time and can't put a ten in her mouth because would cut off his lips and then sexual abuse started, so when I look at the Downtown East Side of Vancouver, which is the most concentrated area of ​​drug use in North America, we have more drug addicts there within a few swell radius than in any other place in the world. continent, it's a shock to people, they even come from Detroit and New York to Vancouver. 30% of our Donaire clients are First Nations or Aboriginal people, they make up 4% of the population, because of the severe trauma they have experienced and and this. is the only piece of trauma fare that you and I are so aware of what addictions are.

I was talking to a colleague of mine Jamie, where are you Jamie, did you hear anyone new? She is a doctor from Detroit. Oh dr. Jamie helps you in the room oh she's I think she's in the genie room okay yeah yeah so she works in the emergency room of a Detroit hospital and she graduated from the fifth grade of school of medicine at Michigan and after lectures on emotional trauma. Did you not receive a single, honey, lectures on how the human brain develops an interaction with the arm and with the environment? You didn't get a single one that was the same with me when I went to medical school years ago and then what?

What I am saying is that the medical world totally understands the problem and does not receive any training to understand human psychology, and the same goes for many of the programs where people go for addiction, so they never address the core problem that I only deal with. with the behavior of addiction, but the behavior is just a symptom, yeah, well, let's do it. I want to play a DeeDee because, right, I was diagnosed with a DeeDee. Do you know how many people in the room would admit or think they've done it? a DeeDee, right, and I've heard you, I mean, you mentioned in your book that a DeeDee is a response to trauma, yeah, that's what it means.

Well, first of all, let me make a point that occurred to me when we are talking about your marijuana use and your cocaine use, those are the typical self-medications for a DD because marijuana calms the overactive mind and if you are treated on TV, what do they give you? They give you a stimulant that raises dopamine levels. the brain, what do you think cocaine is? It's a stimulant, it raises dopamine levels, so what I'm saying is that a lot of addictions are actually self-medication for specific conditions, like in your case now and D, everyone again, the doctor went ad D. and I was diagnosed when I was 50 years old and my children were diagnosed later, no the medical mantra is that it is a genetic brain disease, well, it is not genetic and it is not a brain disease when we look at the attunement of the distraction of a DD why do we have that ability to disconnect, do you think nature gives us that ability? we all have the ability to dissociate to disconnect because well, it's very simple if I threatened you right now, stressed you out, verbally abused you, would you Of the number of options available to you, one would be to get up and leave, what is called run away, or you could stand up and assert yourself and tell me to stop, which is called fighting, and if you couldn't do either, given that, how many hundreds of There are about 400 people here, there are about 400 between both rooms , okay, so if there are 400 people here, you could ask for help, then those would be the functional options, but what if you couldn't escape because you are too small and powerless?

What if you couldn't fight? You came back for the same reason and if there is no one to ask for help, what would you do right? You wouldn't do anything. Your brain would go into an automatic dissociative mode to protect you from distress. So what if this is actually a San adaptation? to excess monetary stress Now, if you take me back to my first year of life and there are moments in the first year of life when every second, like in this space of time, millions of connections are made in the brain, what is happening in my first year? year of life my mother is stressed the day after the German army entered Budapest when I was 2 months old, she calls the pediatrician to say: could you come see Gob?

Of course, she's crying all the time and a pediatrician says okay. Of course they will come to see it, but I must tell you that all my Jewish babies are crying now, why choose babies whose babies cry well? Not because I know anything about Hitler or the genocide, but because I'm realizing my mother's stress. There is a date. Here one of my teachers tells me that I would like to read something if I can find it and if it says that the child is very open and can feel the pain and suffering that occurs in his immediate environment, the child is aware of his own body and I can also feel the tension, stiffness and pain in the mother's body from anyone else I am with, if the mother suffers the baby suffers too, the pain never goes away, so let's say what I do to them and my mother is depressed, stressed and terrified.

Can I deal with it? I can defend myself, escape and ask for help who I tune out, but then the strange attunement becomes programming in my brain and then 55 years later or 50 years later I am diagnosed with ADHD, Mrs. D, now what do I do? What I'm saying is they didn't abuse me, they didn't abuse me. I just had a depressed and fearful mother and being very sensitive, the more sensitive you are, the more you realize that, in those ADLs and if you look at It's an adaptation, an adaptation begins that then becomes a problem, so I'm not saying that be great.

I'm saying it starts at naptime, which then becomes a problem. That is the nature of these early adaptations that children employ unconsciously. Protecting yourself from stress actually become problems later if you look at the question of why between 2002 and 2013 I'm being approximate here, the rate of TD diagnosis in American children has tripled. What's going on? What's happening is the parenting environment is getting more and more stressed for all kinds of reasons and then the parenting environment gets stressed, the kids are stressed and how they cope with it, they tune out when the brain is developing, now they are being diagnosed and medicated and this whole mental health crisis and What we are not seeing is what is in the environment that really encourages or ferments the response in children and I am just talking about a TD.

We could talk about anxiety because addicted people often self-medicate for anxiety. -medicated with work, sex, television, distractions and, of course, drugs, and the New York Times Magazine two weeks ago in an article about the rising rate of anxiety in American teenagers and apparently now in 1/ 3 of the teenagers and adults in the United States suffer from anxiety and why, but if it were genetic it will not increase because the genes do not change in a population for ten years or twenty years or even a hundred years, what is happening is that the conditions in which children grow up Ours is increasingly stressful and that has to do with the stress of the parents and that also has to do, of course, with the work addiction of the parents.

In my case, the world thought I was cool and out there. delivering babies and helping the dying, palliative care and everything else, but what of me did my children receive? Not much because I was always trying to validate myself so I could convey my trauma to them, but I get through it. Not genetically, but through the conditions that existed in my home and my children were young, yes. Wow, we'll answer some questions in a moment because addicts or people with active addiction lie, cheat, steal, can they have symptoms that are very different? What to say like a real disease like cancer and so they cause problems they cause a fuss they are self destructive how do you interact with someone who has caused so much pain in your life?

I mean, in my worst stages. of addiction I was a pain in the ass and so how can you have compassion when there is a family member, a husband, a wife, a child, you know, friends who are causing so much trouble? How do we take that framework? Because I would love to have people come out of here and have a completely different perspective on how to interact with addicts, how to think about it because through this room we can have an incredible impact in the field of helping people who are struggling with these traumas. , just like you in my case when I was in my addictive phase and my addiction, in addition to work, was to go shopping and I compulsively bought classical music and how can I be an addiction do you simply love music no, no, I love music yes, I am passionate But It's a purchase I was addicted to.

I had to buy more and more and no matter how many CDs I bought the next day, I have to buy many more and of course in the process of spending a lot of money and of course one addiction justified the other because I thought I worked so hard that I deserved to give myself a little bit of pleasure that's how smart the addict brain is it just justifies everything and I like my wife or but where I was going to the store again but it was like I like having an affair I lied and cheated etc so, What do I tell the families?

There are two main things I tell families: one is that you have to make a decision. two rational options and one irrational option the rational option is number one what you are doing is causing me so much pain it is a lot of stress I can't stand it I love you so much but this is too hard for me and I am not willing to spend my energy trying to take care of myself myself for all the stress your behavior has caused me, so I can't be with you. That's a perfectly rational choice or you can say: I love you very much and I understand what you want.

You are doing whatever arises from your pain and this is the only way you have found so far to deal with your pain, so I will not judge you, I will not cajole you and I will try to change. I just hope you come to your senses at some point, but I will be with you and support you emotionally, etc. That is another rational choice, what is completely irrational and dysfunctional is staying with someone and trying to change them. cajole them, convince them, bribe them, beg them, force them to change, that's what's crazy, never do that, it's one or the other, that's the first, the second, given my understanding of addiction, which is I don't know.

It is not an individual brain disease, but is actually a function of a child's experience, a person's experience in a family environment and, in particular, in a multigenerational family environment where trauma is passed from one generation to the next. next without realizing it, but it's what I was. I didn't want to traumatize my children, but I did and parents do, so we recognize that the addiction that manifests in you did not start with you; It's actually an expression of multigenerational family dynamics, so what it really is is that recognition allows for opportunity.compassion for addicts and we got along very well and have become dear friends since then, so this is Dr.

Jamie Howe, the first thing I wanted to say is thank you for doing this. You wouldn't necessarily expect this at a business conference, but to see strong, influential, successful people talking about the truth, talking about what it is to be human because we all are. human being in this room and bringing it to light in a way that is socially acceptable, that is such a big thing that there are probably people in this room who have suffered trauma and haven't really faced it or talked about it, so the first thing What I wanted What I did was thank you all, what you do matters, this is huge.

Thank you for after lunch, when you were doing your interview with Akira, we had talked about respectable addictions versus drugs that we stigmatize and you had some really interesting ideas and I think a lot of people in the room could relate to that when you were talking about that, yeah, very good, again I mentioned it so that my two addictions, the job was very respectable, gave me nothing but praise and income and created deep problems in life. in my family, you know, and then my shopping addiction, well, he's a classical music lover, it's not wonderful, you know, but some of the respectable addictions and I say this with some hesitation, but I'll do it anyway in front of a business audience. to do with profits and power for whereFor some people nothing is enough and it is not and it is not because they are bad people but because they are trying to fill a hole within themselves and that can cause serious damage in the world, like what we are seeing with the environment and and climate change and other pollution problems and others, you know, these or an addiction to power, like I was reading a biography of Napoleon and Napoleon was a genius, he liked him a lot, I need to talk about genius inferior and I, that was a Genius to you in many ways, but he was also totally addicted to power and even in exile he said: I love power and called the mistress of Paris.

Well, a lot of people died from addiction because of addiction to power and yet you know he's a hero. he is respected, while the substance addict who shoots heroin in the alley is excluded and discarded from society, so yes, there are respectable addictions and then there are these arbitrarily chosen addicts on whom we project all of our disdain and all of our selves. . judgment basically the things that you don't like about themselves that we project onto these other people when I started talking about addiction at Genius Network meetings some people loved it other people like what the hell is it all about.

I didn't come to join the Genius Network here you. I talked about addiction and this guy literally left the group because he didn't like me talking about addiction and then he came and he contacted me a few months later and said, "I'll be in Phoenix, can we have lunch?" They meet for lunch and then he says, I'm so sorry, my daughter, we're heroin addicts, I'm a workaholic, I was just too close to home and he says, I gave her some suggestions and you got her into treatment. and now she is much better. I just want to plant a seed today, that's why she brought Gabor here.

I want to plant a seed. Some of you are totally into this conversation, others say it's getting worse, the world is, I mean, just look. Regarding opioid addiction, we need voices, we need influential people who can share something that is useful because you can't punish people's pain in the criminal justice system and you said in one of your talks that if you wanted to create the perfect system that would keep people addicted, you would create the same prison system that we have in the United States and, it's true, it's very simple, I mean, if you look at your own addictions, those of you and most of you raised your hands and when you quit for a while and then relapsed, which usually happened and caused a relapse, usually something stressful happened, as well as your way of dealing with stress, so the more you stress people out, the more you entrench them in their addictions, so create a system. that ostracizes, punishes and torments people and exiles them from society, you're just making sure they'll stay there, that's all, so what didn't I ask you that I should have done, if anything, because it might continue for a long time? but we are on the clock but there are so many different areas mm-hmm well I don't know if there are many things that you didn't ask me that you should have I what I really expected What we do here in a conversation with you is simply convey how human you are this phenomenon of addiction and and if we approach it with understanding and curiosity, but the person who is experiencing it or in our own case, a true compassionate curiosity for ourselves, then we can really deal with the problem, yes, one thing I will mention is Oh yes, semantics, yes, I want to distinguish two types of trauma, so there is a word trauma which is what we call developmental trauma and we have two excellent examples of it in the United States, so what is trauma?

Does it separate us from ourselves? We get lost like we said. It also gives us a very negative view of the world. So if you have a negative view of the world, then we act accordingly. We're defensive and we're grand and we're aggressive, so there's a man who said the world is a horrible place. No, I'm not commenting on anyone's politics here. I'm talking about pure psychology. Okay, I'm not talking about what foreign or national policy I'm on. Speaking of mine, please understand that, so however you voted in this last election, please don't be offended, but the man who said the world is a horrible place is the president of the United States, master of the world in which he lives, why does he live? that world because he was able to grow up in a family that taught him that his father was a domineering tyrant and addicted to rage who degraded his children, his brother drank himself to death and this man develops all these problems such as attention problems and grandiosity and psychiatrists He has been diagnosed with narcissism. and all these kinds of things that are not false, they are the results of trauma, so there is that overt trauma and we live in such a traumatized society that these people actually rise to the top, but their opponent was even more interesting, no.

I know if you watched the Democratic National Convention and when Hillary won the nomination there was a video narrated about her life by God himself Morgan Freeman. Do you know how many of you saw that video about her life. You know there was something very interesting in that video I saw. There are no comments on anything. This anecdote comes from Hillary and what happens is and is expressed is an example of wonderful parenting that strengthens character. What happens is that four-year-old Hillary runs into her house and finds her mother, scared because the neighborhood kids are bullying her. she threatens her and the mother says there is no place for cards in her house, now go out and deal with it and this is presented as this made me strong and this made me a fighter and now it is a character that builds men .

The real message to the child is not that there is no place for letters in her house because the four-year-old or five-year-old running to his mother is only doing what any mammal would do or any young person would do when They are threatened. Will they turn to his protective figures? It's not cowardice, it's just natural attachment. The message is that there is no place for vulnerability in this house. You have to be tough. You have to hold on now. Jump forward 65 years and the presidential campaign. and there's a famous scene where Trump looms over Hillary and she doesn't say anything, she just sucks it up and then develops pneumonia.

She remembers that during the campaign she had pneumonia, how did the world find out that she had pneumonia? because she collapsed and the security people had to pick her up but she didn't tell me anything about that, she didn't talk about it because she learned from an early age to hold on and she and I shouldn't be vulnerable, so what? I'm saying and that's what's called developmental trauma, not when something bad happens to you but when the good things that should happen don't happen and the good thing that didn't happen is that the mother should have picked her up and said, well, boy, you're Really scared, aren't you?

That's what didn't happen and what I'm saying is that this is excessive trauma and there are many studies on how to overcome trauma if those of you are not similar to the adverse childhood. experience studies the HD studies where they looked at 17,000 Californians, most of them college graduates and the more adversity there was in their childhood, the meaning of physical, sexual or emotional abuse, the death of a parent, a divorce, can you be addicted , apparently, a mentally ill person, violence in the family, neglect. of a child pending for each of these adverse experiences, the risk of addiction increases exponentially and you can download your HTE score just by going to the Internet, it will give you a lot of information about yourself, but there is that other type of 12m which is The trauma of development that doesn't happen because bad things happen to you, but simply because you weren't held in the way you needed, so that's the last thing I wanted to tell you.

Thank you very much and may people read your books. watch your videos. I mean, I'm going to put a lot of Gabbar's work into genius calm recovery, which is the educational platform that we're creating and we'll feature them in a documentary, the things we're doing with artists for addicts, your books. I know when the body says no in the

realm

of scattered

hungry

ghosts

I know you've got a new book coming out in my head yeah in your head okay hey it's all in our head their own God so how can people find more about you?

The website is www.miamikettlebell.com on both my website and YouTube. Great, thank you very much, it's a pleasure, thank you.