I Turned Valheim Into a Physics-Defying Nightmare

Hi, I'm Josh, welcome back to play. We're looking at Valheim today, a fun game set in the Viking Age where nothing can go wrong. Oh, and before we get into this, did you know that I started streaming if you didn't here? what you're missing, okay, let's go out. I wonder if the flip function is ready to use now? Wow, how's that? So if you want to check it out, the link to my Twitch is in the description, but for now it's Viking Hours, first we have to create a character, there are several different types of hairstyles we can choose from, not to mention a lot of very beards exciting, my favorite is the long one, which once added just comes into existence, but we are actually not going to wear a beard and for the hair we will use this, you know who it looks like if we make the hair a little darker and a little less blonde, oh I know who it is, Johnny Hot Body, oh what the hell? the game gives him a shirt we will have to remedy that but at least they didn't give you pants like a real Viking and let's see how we are going to name our new world well that is obvious we can also change the seed which is what determines the way that the world is automatically generated, so let's remove that seed and replace it with absville and see what kind of world it brings us.

Ah, that's how I like my Viking stories to start on a pleasure cruise. in the sky holding a pose like I've just been struck by lightning flying through the air by a giant bird hitting every branch we can on the way down and then unceremoniously dropping me wow the weather changes quickly around here except me of course , my The body still seems to be crying. What happens if I take off this rag robe? It's better than nothing. I disagree. Ah, there we are much better. Hey, Valheim, you've already betrayed me. Come here. Grayling. Nobody hits Johnny.

Hot body. Well, I guess not. No need to talk much about the combat, you just saw what it looks like, thank goodness that thing exploded into resin anyway, so here's the wild world of Valheim. You may be wondering what this is all about and we'll get to that, but first let's explore. the world so we have land we have ocean we have coasts we have bad guys and oh and also respawn thank god something tells me we are going to need it Omg is there anything in this world that I don't want? kill you, so the first thing is to establish a base.

Ah, this grass field will do. Look, there's plenty of room to expand and like any good survival game, I bet you know how this starts and that's by hitting trees for wood. So we'll start with all the little ones here. We'll also need some rocks like these here on the ground and I can surely hit this with my bare hands. No, it doesn't seem like I'm doing him any harm. but fortunately, since I gathered some wood and stone here, we can do some basic crafts. We'll start by making a stone axe, a crude tree filling axe, and we'll cut down some trees.

This dead tree will be no match for him. Yo, now yeah, take that nature, johnny hop, natural body, ah, well, now we know, that'll teach me, thank God, my stuff is still here, sitting on top of the murder log, come here, give me my stuff back Okay, I think we've got enough wood for now because now we're going to make a hammer with this in your hand. You can build tall halls and powerful fortifications. Well, then let's get to the crafting. What the game means, of course, is that with a hammer you can build all kinds. of things, but first we have to make a workbench, which I don't know, I guess we'll build it right here, look at this, we unlocked all these things so we can build houses and stuff, now let's get started and use that craft.

The bit crafting station needs a roof, well luckily we have all these nice building options, you know, like tiles, ladder tiles, and roof tiles, so the game said it wanted a roof, right? I guess this is what they meant, see. You say you want a roof. I will give you a roof. Now is the time to create. The station is too exposed. Very exposed. What do you mean by elements? Because you're shy? Okay, that's how it will be. I'll build you a little shelter, but we're not going to make it look good, we'll use every random piece of wall we can, but how about this beauty?

Is it good enough for you? It looks like it worked and you can tell we are crafting from the artboard because it says artboard appearance. in this we can make arrows we can make hoes clothes I will never use weapons that I will never use now that we fixed it we have something else we have to build and that is a bed, let's see where we put this Can I put it here? Of course, I can't wait to sleep outside in this absolutely improbable bed. Oh, but first I have to claim it. The bed needs a roof.

Oh God, you too, what about everything that needs roofs and stuff? See, it's like a thin tube that is for exposure. What do you think about this being too exposed? Oh God, you didn't like that at all. Alright? I have a different idea, so surely nothing could go wrong here, so. First we will build a small staircase to the top of the tree. Here surely there is a place where we can put this bed. A beautiful bed for the tree is now made. Now of course the bed still needs a roof and I really can't. Look what I'm doing, but I think I'll somehow be able to make this work, it's too exposed.

Okay, we're halfway there, so all we have to do is cover the thing and I have an idea for that too, but first. We have to cut more wood, like a lot more wood, like a lot, more wood, like a lot, oh, hey, I didn't see you there. I was just cutting a little, no big deal, and these trees here can thank you. Lucky stars because they are too strong for my ax anyway, all I have to do now is cut these smaller pieces and voila, beautiful piles of wood. Yes, it's a start. It's not all wood, but I don't want to waste time doing that.

We need to waste that time somewhere else, so before we do a hot build, let's explain how the build works. Basically, integrity is represented by four colors. Blue means it is very stable and connected to the ground. Green means it is stable and not connected to the ground. building things from here yellow means we are becoming unstable and red means we are about to fall, I don't like it so if you want to make sure these structures are solid you need to give them proper support so something tells me we can apply . That's right here too because there's something I realized: if you take these shingles and you connect them to the tree like this, technically they're blue, I guess that considers the tree to be stable, so give me a second because I have an idea, yeah . something a little more like that, so I tried to make it look a little bit like a tornado and this is the best it's going to get before the structural integrity eats itself, but let's take a look, this is the only way in or go out.

You'll notice that this stepladder isn't actually connected, that's because everything here is supported by just the tree. It starts out looking nice and stable and slowly gets worse as you look higher and higher, but hey, it's hard to argue with the results. After all, it is standing. So here we have the upper level where you can look out and contemplate everything that is yours and we have a lower deck, so watch your eyes and your steps. I like to call this small space the bungalow in which we are also going to put our The bed down here is opposite to where we had it before.

The bed needs a roof. Really all these tiles just don't work for you. What happens if I put another bed on top of that bed? It still doesn't work. Hey? I'm going to assume this is happening. Since these tiles up here are actually floor tiles and not roof tiles, I'm a little curious, although if I can get right on top of where the bed is, I think this is probably what it's about and I just put one tile like this here, okay? Let's try it, ah, now that bed belongs to Johnny Hot Body. You know, while we're here, let's fix the place up.

Who wants some indoor torches? I know. I don't know why you can put this on the bed. but I'm not going to complain about it, I can't wait to sleep at King's later, but now the most important part is when I go and do one of these, when it reappears, this time it will be in my bed like it was all a dream, a warm and very bright dream, now that we have that taken care of, the next thing we are going to do is focus on the next amazing tool in our arsenal and that would be this, the farmers tool for working the land, oh but believe it.

For me, it can do a lot more than that, for example you can level terrain that looks a bit like this. There's only one thing that would stop me from doing this everywhere and that is that it requires stamina and your stamina depletes quickly oh. Do you know what else it can do? Raise the ground. You know, something like that. With the help of this and a little more of this, it has a considerable cost, although it takes four stones every time you want to use this. What I'm trying. What I mean is just raise this as high as I have it now.

I just use a whole pile of stones and believe it or not, it's hard to find stones on the ground because we can't pick up these big ones yet. Until we can get more stones, damn these brittle bones, anyway, we will eventually get some stone. Until then, we'll do some ground leveling experiments. You may see here that while it levels the ground, it's also terraforming a little bit. I know this because some terrain is higher than others, so I'm wondering if this works the other way around. If I level up here, can I raise the average floor height?

It seems so, because I am slowly burying this log. If that works here. This will work there in the ocean, well let's figure it out, so we can't level it because technically it's not terrain, but we can level it and at least so far it's definitely spreading so in some ways it works, but it gets really complicated even with everything the time and patience of the world. I'm not sure it will allow us to cross completely. There is also a third option to create paths, but it doesn't really seem like it will work. trick, so that only leaves one option to raise the ground, it has two requirements that we must meet, which are the four stones, in addition to having a workbench nearby, the workbench is quite easy, we can place it almost anywhere On the other hand, there is a stone.

A little harder to understand because the only ones we can pick up are the loose ones like this one that we can pick up by hand, but the real magic is all these rocks and stuff, but this is an enemy we don't do that for. I don't have the tools yet, don't worry, although we can get them and the key to that is these guys here, that's right, little one, you don't know it yet, but Johnny Hot Body is coming for you. Let me show you why with the Remember This Old Thing, well, it now plays a crucial role.

Look, each of these little stones with hooks represents a boss we need to kill, so start with the dear old god here and then move on to Slenderman before you. then we will have to fight blabula and then this dragon in a state of perpetual stasis and finally whatever it is we will call it skeletor but we are getting ahead of ourselves the only thing we have to worry about is this one so if you come here and activate this little rock, excuse me, record the location as if we were at the dmv, not only does it open our map but it also gives us the location of the bus erythritol or whatever it says, unfortunately, it's not as easy as just passing by.

Here and fighting the boss, we have to summon him to this altar and to do so we must offer him an item. Which item you might ask? Well, I'm glad you asked because that's what this Viking suggestion for hunting his relatives is for. I think we know what this means, it's time to die, come here, here comes Johnny, hot body, what are you running for? Come here, I, uh, you'll come back, okay, easy, now it's our time to shine, you're mine. You'll come back, you know? I have another idea. One of the things we can do anywhere is a bonfire.

I wonder if we can sneak up on one of these and set them on fire. Okay, this is going to work. This is totally going to work. yeah, run for me yeah, well I guess that answers that question, sure you can, this is the best way to fight, he's just put a bonfire in his way, run that way now, yeah, actually, do you? Why don't I attack everything this way? This is working. Great, okay, I just killed a deer here and it has the item we're looking for, which is this trophy deer. It's actually the second one I collected, which is good because we'll need two of them quickly to get back to the stone circle.

So with these in hand we can go ahead and put them on the altar and then something wild will happen so let's take our deer masks and feed them to the altar, make a sacrifice, huh? What do you suppose is going on there? I'm sure the sky turning red is only for good things, yeah, onlyGood stuff like chasing me trying to hit me with lightning hashtag, just erythritol stuff. The only question I have now is how do you feel about the campfire? That said that while I'm dying I couldn't. Don't notice, I set him on fire quickly, Johnny Hot Body, back to the fight, we should see if we can lure him into a trap, this time the trap is called keeping him on fire until his health runs out, oh so slowly, How does this work?

Am I running around just keeping it on fire? Oh, we're getting there, oh, we're getting there, oh, we're almost there, so close, buddy, well, how about that, hey, there we go, a trophy of your head, what we really want is. This is a tough antler, oh, but we take the trophy and put it on this thing here like this, and besides looking majestic, that also gives us something else, jump and run.more, oh boy, quickly back to the farm . Wow, the weather cleared up quickly so we got these things right, which means we can do this antler peak.

This tool is hard enough to break even the most stubborn rocks, so I bet you know where it's going. If not, I'm about to show you all these bad rocks that I couldn't do anything about before. Well, now I can do a lot about it and he gives me all kinds of glorious stones, not only that, by the way, you want to know. What else can you do? Well, you can modify the terrain, so you're probably wondering how far we can go here. Unfortunately, we can't dig as much as we want. It's okay, there are still plenty of accents to choose from.

Do it and look at all the amazing stones it gives us, not to mention the horrible things you can do to the landscape, but before we go through all this trouble digging up all these stones, let's see if this does what we expect it to do. We have a pile of stones on us and we have our hoe and we are clearly ready to use it, it's time to turn up some ground, it looks like it's working, yes, it looks like this is going to work, but as you can see, we ran out of stone very quickly. ah well I think you know what time it is it's rush hour don't wait up I'll be just for a second good and very good I feel very good with the work I have done here I feel very good I feel very good Well, I like this monster here , as well as, yes, another incredibly confusing day at the office.

I wish I could tell you how long I've been doing this, but honestly, I lost count a lifetime ago. The important part is that we did something real. Good work here today and by that I mean we have a pile of stones now with each of these piles representing 50 stones each. It will be enough. I don't know, but I think I know how we can find out. Come here delicious. stone, let's get started, oh you know, this might not be as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I was going to have to pick it up off the ground right there, but I can actually lay it out along the edge for just four stone.

This is going to be easy, the work is done. Admittedly, I got a little carried away too, but you'll be happy to know that you can build a bridge from one side to the other and if you have extra stones like me, you can do it. even build alternative roads and as a bonus nature has no idea what to do about it oh how I love confusing wildlife now let's see which rat we want to take if we want to go the low route or the high route oh come on Go for it The route goes down after all, it seems very risky with our feet touching the water a little.

I should point out that there are actually ships in this game, but why sail when you can strut? Oh boy, I'm so excited, I bet there's an adventure in everyone. corner or in this case as it turns out behind me you have business with the hot body talking about hot bodies how are you doing with the fire it's not good it seems good here help yourself it seems to be working pretty well stay quick johnny hot body There seems to be an enemy in the distance, we must tread carefully and by that I mean, let's run towards it to see if it is flammable.

Answer yes, very flammable, come on buddy, it's okay, there are only a couple of campfires between the two of us, yes. That will teach you well, it worked great and the smoke is ruining my frame rate. Everyone wins, huh? Wait, what is this here? It seems a little unnatural and it turns out that this must be what the big blue man was protecting. Well, we should. probably get in, but first let us prepare the area, you never know where there is hidden treasure, hey, fun story, turns out did you know you can dig under these things, all the way down, that's right, these caves are basically spaceships .

I like how these deer. around here they're like what the hell are we looking at well let's hope we can still get in here oh thank god eat come in let's go oh it was a troll cave well that's okay Johnny the hot body is always ready to fight, oh, maybe that one outside. was the only one, well so be it, I'll take your precious rubies and then leave you a nice surprise, if you ever come back it'll be a good job, jhb, surely there's adequate ventilation for all this smoke. Well, I think my work here is done.

Now that I've covered every inch in bonfires, I hope there's another troll out there waiting to come home to a big nice surprise, come on Johnny, hot body, leave us, what's this karma? Well, I assure you it will take more than that to stop us now. that we have defiled this and are going on another adventure, oh and what could this be, it seems to be another entrance to the cave, well we know the drill, no free entry, not to any cave, not for me, not for anyone , okay, much better, mysterious UFO verified, now let's position ourselves just below and then raise the ground until it forces us to enter the loading screen ah very exciting burial chambers quickly johnny ready the only weapon you will need the campfire let's see what things cowards await us here spoiler everything is flammable material therefore everything is no match until we finally find a room like this hello, am I interrupting something important?

I have a campfire. I think we finally found something I can't destroy with campfires. Well, for everything else, there are a lot of knocks. I didn't realize exploring the dungeons. could be very easy and then we find rooms like this with treasures like coins and these main little things and here is the biggest treasure of all registering Veggie might the elder in the dmv yeah there they are there we are well that was fun now that we have what we came for, it's time to get out of here and immediately fall to our deaths as is our custom and then, the vegetable tails, the eldest, well and here we are somehow, I thought it would be more difficult come to this, but really I just ran here before we get any closer we have to do that thing that we do that thing that I fondly call the reason we can't have nice things yeah that'll do it just like the other one floats in the air Although this one has this little thing, huh, maybe the fire runs on gas or something anyway, let's start summoning this boss, oh right, like last time, we have to offer something, well, let's see what the boss has to say. old tooltips, burn your young, what any young man can do.

That actually I think what the game means is this right here, I'm not sure what it is, but if we can hit it or set it on fire, we'll be fine and I recognized this star looking up at the altar. What were in the columns, well, here goes, nothing, go, go to the campfire, yeah, this is working well somehow, that will do it and another, you know, the drill, oh Johnny, hot body, what? Is there anything your fist can't do and then? Beating a bunch of those for a while, we got a bunch of these ancient seeds, okay, here we are now, seeds in hand ready to summon veggie tails to the eldest, huh, I wonder where it's going to spawn, there it is, well, look. as a funny guy what's your special power?

Do you like hot things from the forest? Oh, you know, in retrospect, I don't know what I expected. Okay, round two, see you there. Yes, it's a nice trick, but I'm not going to fall for it. Moving on, I can't believe it actually worked. You know, I'm wondering something as I cower behind this rock. Are you stuck right there? Because it seems a little wedged in on the side. Wait, can I go under? and hit him from down here there's no way this is going to work right oh my god it totally is and he's completely stuck all I need to do is punch him in the leg over and over again I like how all these vines just keep appearing nearby from me like ah stop, wait, what's going on here ah, okay, let's try to be a little more careful this time oh, we're also technically in good hands down here, check this out, we've got a resting buff, a fire buff , you know, because that fire is right above us, wait, can I build like a little bed in a house down here?

Okay, we'll put the bed right here. Oh my god, he just said that as a spawn point. Can I go to bed too? Is it okay for you to? I'm not going to bed because there are supposedly enemies nearby, but at least now we can spawn here, look it has a roof and all this is amazing, okay, well, where was I? Wait a minute. Can I make a campfire under it? Oh my god, this is the same. easier, I don't even have to punch it, it's just perpetually on fire. I guess all I have to do is wait out his health bar while he very slowly but surely burns to death and goodnight sweet prince, ah yes, a brave man's death pose. enemy and my prize, an elder trophy and whatever a swamp key is, wow, how could he get so lucky now before returning?

I had another thought, so when we summoned that guy the first time we had 11 seeds and now we only have eight, so my question is: can I summon him again? That seems like a big yes, wait, can I do that again too? Oh boy, oh boy, huh, what was that all about up there? So yes, it turns out you can summon more than one. I think we know where this is going guys, hang in there, okay, I'll be right back. I need to go get more of those seeds. Hi, I'm back. How are they? Oh, are we a little grumpy?

I'll just take the long way, yeah, don't worry, don't get up because of me, it was close, well, now that I have all these seeds, the real question is how am I going to put it on this altar, you know, with these guys . stomping, let's see, would I like to just jump up and push him? It seems to be a no, maybe if I stand directly under this thing and then try to get up directly towards it, well, this is certainly doing something, isn't it? a little closer oh too close too close I seem to be on fire ah johnny hot body no oh johnny you know maybe I'm thinking too much about this let's try building right next to it this time maybe this will work well, I've done it I still haven't been able to get to the altar, but I have a strange feeling that the bad guys know I'm here now.

I can't explain what it is, it's just a feeling, but if I keep jumping, that will help. Oh, oh, ah, to hell. Let's do it the old-fashioned way, horribly and dangerously, one at a time, and try not to get killed as each new one arrives. I just have to make sure we hide from everything. Hello new gods, I would like to make a sacrifice, okay, goodbye. I'm so cranky up there, you know it's weird, but the more gods there are there, the harder this gets and even though we don't prevail many times, so help me God, we will.

Well, I did it. It took me a while. million deaths in half my life, but we did, most of them are like this guy here, I mean, trapped, but then we have other guys here who are not only trapped but have become best friends and then we have I have these two who seem to still be working out their differences in general, although it is strangely healthy, since for us, well, I haven't been able to leave yet, every time I try something it kills me, it's almost like there's a legion of madness outside. here they come looking for me waiting to get revenge the moment we think we can escape, well you know, maybe they'll calm down while we wait, what the hell could it be to at least try to make this place look better?

I always wanted to build an underground place. base and a Vikings game so I hope you had fun, I know, this is surely not the end of Johnny Hot Body, don't forget to check out my streams on Twitch and I'll see you next time.