I TURNED MY TESLA INTO A PICKUP TRUCK

I don't know if this will be the smartest or stupidest thing I'll ever do, but the bottom line is that I really want an electric

truck

. And more specifically, I really want a Tesla

truck

, but they haven't released one yet. And they're rumored to be announcing one this summer, but it'll be years before you can get your hands on one, and I don't have time to wait for that! I need to transport wood and corpses right now. So... I'll have to make my own. It is the only sensible option; okay, maybe there are other options, but let's not think too much about it. *drum roll* *drum roll* Elon Musk, it's me, challenging you to build the world's first functional Tesla

pickup

truck.

I know people call me the Queen of Shitty Robots, and my track record isn't very impressive so far, but I have an angle grinder, and I have an angle grinder, and a welder, but I have an angle grinder, and I'm a welder. and I'm not afraid to use them. In fact, we've been planning this project for over a year, like it was a year ago when we first had the idea. But then I had a brain tumor, but then I had a brain tumor, and some things happened, but then I had a brain tumor, and some things happened, and, yeah.

But now we're back to it! So I've been working together with Marcos Ramírez, who I've built many projects with before, and we've laid out a plan, and these are the basics. This will be very complicated, like the truck itself is cool, but the process will be complicated. We will do it on a Tesla Model 3, because it has a steel chassis, which is easier to manufacture: the Model S has an aluminum chassis. And also, surprisingly, the cheapest option is to buy a new Model 3, because they just launched their standard-range Model 3, and it's actually cheaper to buy than a second-hand long-range one.

We've been going through a bunch of different designs, and the easiest thing would probably be to just remove everything from the back and put it on a platform. It will be like a Tesla head. It will be like a Tesla head with a flat base. So it will be like the head of a Tesla, with the back of a truck. But I really don't like the look of that, so what we're going to do, and what will probably be much more difficult, is try to save as many of the original body lines as possible. Basically, just cut off the top of the back seat and trunk, and then embed a truck bed into the existing chassis.

This is going to be This is going to be A LOT This is going to be A LOT of work. Like crazy months of work. It's definitely the biggest project we've ever taken on, so we'll need a lot of help. Laura Kampf and Rich Rebuilds will be coming to the first part of the project to help, and we'll also be bringing as many friends as we can to get it done. It will be a... also known as PIFF. It's when you ask all your friends for favors to do some things. Yes. We're going to PIFF until we get to TRUCKLA.

I'm getting ready to buy the car. I feel like I shouldn't speak out loud to do this. Yes, I feel like an adult is going to come and tell me I don't have permission. Do I have to ask someone's permission? -Simone, can you buy this car? Yes, you can buy this car, you are the CEO of this company, you are also a fucking grown woman, you can buy a car if you want. Place order Your order is complete! Damn, I just bought a car! I just put down a down payment on a damn Tesla. And I'm going to cut it.

I'm going to transform it into my ultimate dream car. Don't look him in the eyes, don't give him a name. I've been thinking I should lock the trunk so I don't get attached to it. I'm excited to get the car and be able to start taking measurements on it because Marcos and I have been weirdos in San Francisco and as soon as we see a Model 3, they're like "Okay, I want to cut it here, what if we do it for here?" And people come and say, "Hey, this is my car." Are we all ready? They are all ready now.

Yeah? Damn, I have a car! Ooh Ooh God, I can't believe they let me do this. I'm so nervous I'll chicken out, realize I really like having a five-seater car, and then I'll be done and not do it. But Laura is coming to town, Rich is coming to town, all the tickets are booked, we have a workshop... You will become a truck. You will become the world's first Tesla truck... ...on the roads. A bit. The most official and unofficial Tesla truck in the world. Should we go fast? I'm ready, you know? I'm taking the car on its last ride... at least in its current form.

This project is too big to do in our workshop. There just isn't enough space, so we head to the new shop we rented just for this project. I think we have it for 10 days, 12 days and then we'll have to figure out what we do after that, because obviously it won't be finished in 12 days. Rich, Laura, Marcos and all the rest of the team are there, so... We'll take the car there and it won't come out looking the same. I really feel like people who really appreciate

pickup

trucks and people who really appreciate electric vehicles, the overlap isn't that big.

They are two different crowds. I really want to drive EVs just because it's not feasible for all of us to drive around campfires. And I also feel like I should exaggerate this a little bit, but I don't: screw the oil companies. Seriously, fuck them. Well, I can't back out now, partly because I'm not sure I can get out of this store.