I Hired A CIA Spy To Find My Secret Photo

- Spies. They are masters of secrecy, surveillance and kicking people out. Oh, my nose! Spies are also known for

find

ing themselves in sexy situations. (burping) Today I'm going to try to beat a spy at his own sexy game. (dramatic orchestral music) Is the job of a spy to be a James Bond, to run around, make love to people and kill people? - That is the biggest myth in the world. Obviously, Hollywood has to sell tickets and if you actually showed what the average spy did, people would be bored to death. Real spies don't draw attention to themselves.

That way, you can walk down the street and no one will think twice. - What does a CIA spy do? - There is something called the SADR cycle: detect, evaluate, develop and recruit. Find the person who might have the information, develop them until they fall in love with you, and then, of course, recruit. - Are you seducing people and making love to them to get them on your side? - American spies tend to keep their noses clean. - They keep other parts of their body clean or... - I took a shower this morning, yes. - What was the most dangerous mission you were sent on? - If I told you, I would have to kill you. - You could tell me right now and then kill me, 60 years old, right on my deathbed. - Or I could take my tactical pen out of my pocket, stick it in your neck and finish him off right now. -Are you satisfied with the work he did? - Oh, I had a great time.

It is a wonderful place to work. They treat you very, very well. But it's a single man's game, so I met a lot of divorced men who didn't love their wives. And like I said, wonderful place to work, they treat you well, but it was time to do other things. We are now basically a private intelligence service. So, you hire us to keep an eye on someone. You hire us if you go abroad and want to have a private bodyguard. Maybe someone is hacking into your stuff and you want our cyber technicians to get in there to make sure you're safe.

So, we are the private CIA. - Being a CIA spy, you have to be hyperaware and hyperalert of everything. - Correct. - So, now I'm going to challenge you. I guarantee I can pass a naked

photo

of myself to an accomplice in a public park without you knowing where the

photo

went. - Wait a minute, you said naked. - I'm going to give you 10 minutes to look at me. At the end of those 10 minutes, you will be able to guess where my naked photo is. - It's nine minutes too long, but it's okay. - If you guess correctly, I have to eat my own earwax. - What's the point of eating your own earwax?

It's like eating your own snot, something you probably do every day. But eating someone else's snot or someone else's earwax, that's gross and would make me throw up. - If I lose, I'll eat someone else's earwax. (spooky orchestral music) What are you afraid of? - I hate small spaces. I hate cats because I am deathly allergic to them. - If you guess wrong, I'll put you in a small box. - Challenge accepted, I don't like losing. - How sure are you that you are going to win? - I wouldn't be here if I didn't know I was going to win.

I wouldn't have flown here from Utah. - Good luck. - You too friend. - What the spy didn't know is that I spent the last month planning the perfect strategy. The first step of my master plan is to hide my naked photo somewhere where the sun doesn't shine. I could tell you what I mean by that, but then I'd have to kill you. Now it's time to make a spy cry. (tense percussion music) You might be wondering why I'm suddenly wearing a fluffy red robe for this challenge. I'll tell you later when you're older. Challenges start at three, two, one. (whistle) When the timer starts, I fold my naked photo several times. -Mike has the photo of him, he is making it nice and small;

This way it is easier to pass. - Then a man carrying a Frisbee kisses me on the lips. -He did a good job trying to distract me by doing what he's doing there. -This guy hands me one of his briefcases and then happily walks away to play Frisbee alone. Who was this mystery man willing to kiss me to hide my naked photo? -My family comes from a long line of witches originally from New Orleans. - In total, I

hired

four strangers to kiss and exchange briefcases as much as possible. Here's a little more about my ragtag group of cool cats.

I

hired

this guy to play with a water gun. - I have absolutely no problem making out with a bunch of random different men. I'm newly single; It's actually kind of cathartic. - I hired this guy to play with dinosaur toys. - This is how you really get to know people in the sense of mouth. It's better than a handshake, it's better than a handshake. - I hired this guy to blow bubbles. - I used to sing in an Iron Maiden tribute band for six years. - Since I knew that the spy was going to be observing everyone's body language, I ordered all my accomplices to act as strange as possible. - Why, Seymour?

Why do not you Love me? Mother, I love you, I do. (laughs) - Then, I lie down on the grass, open the briefcase and place the photo inside. Remember this moment. Hint-hint, wink-wink-wink. - Okay, now he has a briefcase. Then he put it in the briefcase. Now it has disappeared from his hand. - No, it's not. It's not my case! Suddenly, an angry guy shouts and accuses me of having his briefcase. Being the kind-hearted person that I am, I express my disagreement with a polite gesture. - That's my case! -Then he put it in the briefcase.

Now he has disappeared from his hand. There are a lot of people passing by, a lot of distractions. (groans) He's in the briefcase right now. - You might recognize this ugly man as my best friend, Ben. He agreed to be my accomplice in this strange mission. Two days ago, Ben and I spent five minutes choreographing a fight to distract the spy. What experience do we have planning brawls? In college, Ben had four years of training and experience in stage combat. In middle school and high school, I wrestled in the backyard for four years. (groans) So Ben and I are probably equally skilled at faking fights.

Ben drops me onto my back. The crowd of fighters goes crazy. - Good, now you must maintain control of that briefcase. Well, that's a good idea. - While I'm dying on the floor, Ben takes my briefcase and walks away. Then he encounters a guy with a water gun, who quickly sprays him in the eyes. The two men pick up each other's briefcases and separate. Ben approaches the spy, his

secret

mission is to deliver the strangest and most distracting performance possible. - In the intelligence business, intelligence agents always use distractions when they try to do things, but you have to be very clear to never miss the objective. - This has been a strange day.

I fainted a little. No matter what I'm going through, it's about having laser-like focus, which is exactly what I'm having right now. So, it doesn't matter if there was one person or 100 people, you should only focus on one. - Water Gun Boy, also known as Mr. Squirts, struts confidently before another stranger. These two guys kiss and then exchange black leather covers. - These guys kiss pretty deeply. I can feel my tonsils. - I still have to track down the briefcase. So, they have been exchanged and changed. It's still in the briefcase, but what briefcase is it in? - Still feeling the pain of losing a battle against Ben, I remain on the ground until a man playing with dinosaur toys approaches me.

He kneels next to me and we start kissing like rebellious teenagers. At the beginning of this video, I said, "Remember this moment." Hint-hint, wink-wink-wink." Then, I lie down on the grass, open the briefcase and put my photo inside. Remember this moment. Hint-hint, wink-wink. I said something deliberately misleading. At that moment in my spy challenge, I had just opened a briefcase and presumably placed my photo inside. I wanted you and the spy to believe that my photo was inside the briefcase, but in fact, I placed the naked photo inside my mouth. who I had never met before kisses me, I use my tongue to French kiss the naked photo on his mouth.

He asked me to put the naked photo in my mouth and that made me feel honored but also a little nervous (. laughing) - During my whole fight with Ben, the photo was in my mouth. Technically, I didn't lie to you, I just didn't finish the sentence correctly. If you want to complain about my deception, send an angry letter to my home address. shows here. I get up and approach the man blowing bubbles. - Many different briefcases. - Many different briefcases. - Yes, they are completely confusing me. Or is it you? - I literally knew nothing about this guy before we went to the Tonsil Hockey Hall of Fame together. - Mike was a good kisser.

I felt like maybe it was like a plate of slimy food. - After our amazing kiss, my new friend blows bubbles again. Ben continues to do his best to catch the spy's attention with a unique performance. - Part of me wants to push you, which I think I'll do right now. And you, ooh, you held it in for a while, I'm impressed! - I don't have change for any train. - You never do. Mike is a fantastic kisser. I mean, the mustache. He really tries and really makes you work. -If you are worried about the amount of germs that are sold, relax.

I made everyone use mouthwash before our kiss fest began. - You're blocking me from Mike's sight. Mike does yoga and prays. Oh, confusing, confusing. - I put my hand in everyone's pockets, I try to grab important

secret

s and fill my own pockets. -Well, that time there was nothing in his hand. And, of course, he has to kiss again. What do you put in your pocket? - You choose. - One minute left. - Uh-oh, the pressure is increasing. We have Mike kissing. I think I've probably said that 8,000 times on this tape. Now, look, these guys are doing a fantastic job of being distracting, of acting uniquely. (whistle) - Time's up.

Who will guess the spy who has my naked photo? Is it the boy who kissed me, the boy who kissed me, the boy who kissed me, the boy who fought with me or the boy who kissed me? The spy is allowed to guess who has my naked photo. - In fact, I forgot that the photo was in someone's mouth. And when a couple of them were making out deeply with me, I thought they were trying to transfer the photo and I got worried. I didn't know if I had it or not for a second or two. -When the challenge was over and the spy was about to guess, I thought, "Damn, I think it's me, for sure." - He knew there were too many moving pieces for him to keep up with. - I still wasn't totally sure what was happening. - I'm going to say the man who is here with the Frisbee, inside that briefcase. - I was like, "This is it, here it comes." - It's inside this briefcase, the photo that I don't want to see.

Ay ay ay! (laughing) The pain, the pain! - We got you. - Yes. - Yes. - Good work team. - Bear hug, because I'm sad. - Jarryl, can you take my naked photo out of your mouth, please? - With great pleasure. - Thank you. - Yes, everything is disgusting. - It's still there, it still looks good. - I've seen it bigger. - It's time for me to punish this spy. You lost. - I did. - Get in the box. - Since the spy is claustrophobic, I force him to get into a small box. He also hates cats, so I force him to dress like one.

Hey. (laughing) Shh-shh-shh-shh. - You used two great distractions, the kisses and the briefcase. I had to choose one of them. I didn't see the kiss, the body language, the attention-getting, I didn't see any paper passing, so my 50/50 chance was, "Okay, it has to be the briefcase." The kiss is the distraction that is not the real one." How long do I have to wear this ridiculous suit? - I'm going to close the lid on you. - Wonderful, fantastic. - Another successful mission. Who should I outwit next? - How much earwax do you have? Do you know what I think the challenge should be, especially if I'm going to get into a box?

Is it eating someone else's earwax? - What kind of earwax do you have? - I don't know. Is it wet? Or is it hard, a little crunchy, a little slimy? - Is it waxy?