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How to make a perfect E3 press conference (or drinking game) | Unraveled

May 29, 2021
E3. The Electronic Entertainment Expo. What started as a humble video

game

industry trade show has grown into something more spectacular. More extravagant. More... than whatever this is. E3 is an opportunity to showcase new

game

s and the theatrical chops of your executives. Because that's what E3 really is now. It's theater. It's like the musical Cats but with more weapons and a better plot. But this E3 is different. Many companies are abandoning the

press

conference

altogether, and those companies are cowards. Sony won't even be showing up at E3 this year! And it's not because they lack things to say.
how to make a perfect e3 press conference or drinking game unraveled
It is because they have forgotten how to say it. The industry has lost its way. That's why I'll give you the 10 keys to creating a

perfect

E3 presentation and then I'll give you the

perfect

E3 presentation. It's drama, baby! The first step is to throw out everything you know about public speaking, because E3 presentations are a beast unto themselves. You have to watch them to learn from them. You might ask, "Brian, wouldn't learning from the old E3s keep you in the rut of old thinking, making the same mistakes business geniuses of the past made?" No.
how to make a perfect e3 press conference or drinking game unraveled

More Interesting Facts About,

how to make a perfect e3 press conference or drinking game unraveled...

And that brings us to the board. I've watched hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of E3 presentations and analyzed what

make

s them compelling. I've distilled the essence of E3 into 10 simple keys. By including these 10 keys, you'll create the perfect E3 presentation. And if you, like most people, aren't hosting an E3

press

conference

, then you could use these 10 keys for a

drinking

game or something, I'm not saying you should do that, I'm saying it is and... It's possible. You could do that if you wanted t... it's not... I did that, okay?
how to make a perfect e3 press conference or drinking game unraveled
You can use them for the

drinking

game. The first clue: an oddly high-budget opener. It's essential to start the presentation with a lot of energy, and it's essential to do it in such a way that the audience goes, "Hmm, yeah, wow, they really paid for that, huh?" Sony used to be great at this, kicking off E3 2016 with a full orchestra playing the God of War theme, and then last year kicking off E3 with a full banjo player. Something rare to spend money on. But both intros still get BONUS POINTS, because they started with a live musical number.
how to make a perfect e3 press conference or drinking game unraveled
The second key is for the presenter. They have the unenviable task of connecting with a notoriously difficult audience. How can they reach the fickle player and at the same time maintain business balance? Business gamer fashion. Business Gamer Fashion is professional attire and yet conveys the idea that this person can be seen sitting on a couch for 14 hours straight. She says, "I'm one of you... but I'm also a lot richer than you." But BONUS POINTS go to true business gamer fashion: ill-fitting blazer, diesel jeans, gamer T-shirt. The third key is tight dressing. This has to be theatrical, ie inappropriate for a fair.
Check out Sony's weird barn church. It was like an immersive theater experience, but with the 10-minute scene transitions of a high school production of Les Mis. But the BONUS POINTS are going to live, human scenes, like, I don't know, bodies hanging from the ceiling that SHAKE when a character moves across them on screen. There's that classic Sony magic! I want to remind people that E3 is a trade show. And this is like Disney holding a press conference on the Avengers and then DISINTEGRATING A MAN LIVE ON STAGE. We are now moving into the meat and potatoes of the presentation with key number four: Numbers.
Video games are just programs and programs are just numbers and for some reason gamers love it when the numbers are big. Some good numbers to say are number of polygons, number of enemies on screen, RAM? Maybe? I don't know, who gives a shit!? Honestly, the BONUS POINTS go for saying a number that is completely devoid of context. Because numbers mean... INNOVATION. Key number 5. More specifically... less specifically. I need this to be the most vague discussion ever. I need you to

make

claims about how you're doing something that's never been done before and then not tell us what you're doing.
Here is a list of innovative words and phrases. It's the presenter's job to say each and every one of these. But the BONUS POINTS go to the purest form of expressing innovation. Looking at the screen behind you, looking back at the audience and saying... "Wow." Key number six is ​​the game trailer montage. You've probably never heard of these games before. You may never hear from them again, but the BONUS POINTS go to the game trailer montage that comes at the end of the slideshow, which just shows you everything you've seen so far with a similar sound to Arcade Fire.
These six keys are the foundation of a solid presentation at E3. You hit these six, you're clean. But you have not yet reached perfection. But before we get into the final four, let's talk about the notable absences. These are anti-keys, things you'll never see at an E3 presentation. I have a list of them here... Oh, what is this? It's just an entry that says "A legitimate discussion on how to address the critical crisis that is prevalent in almost all game studios." Well I guess we don't need them anymore! *wild laugh* *terrifying laugh* *painful laugh* *pain* And now, it's time for the final four keys.
These are the Truly Special Moments. They are difficult to incorporate, but they turn a good presentation into a transcendent one. Key number seven: A "WHY" game. This is an acronym that stands for “What? Hell yeah! What!?" and is used for a game that makes you go, "What? Hell yeah! WHAT!?" Often these are for games that are entirely standalone, but the best ones are for oddball entries in the beloved franchise, like Final Fantasy XV VR Fishing Game. Even now, when someone tells me there is a Final Fantasy XV VR fishing game, I say what? HELL YEAH! WHAT!?
But the BONUS POINTS... you know what, not really. You only get bonus points if you create a VR fishing game for a beloved franchise. I want to see the Doomslayer catch a bass. But sometimes, the presenter has a WHY moment. That is why the eight key is a sincere emotion. Genuine emotion for a game, joy, sadness. This has to happen naturally. Honestly, if I'm having a hard day, I'll go back and watch the video of Ubisoft developer Davide Soliani crying after Shigeru Miyamoto congratulated him on stage, because that's the most real and joyous moment. Honestly, who wouldn't cry if Shigeru Miyamoto, the architect of many of our childhoods, congratulated them?
You know, that little thing… that reminder that these people behind the games are human beings and can be emotionally moved by the very experience they get to share with you. What could be better than that? If they farted. That's why key number nine is blunders! Bugs are INTEGRAL for E3, so much so that they fall into three different categories. The first is technical. The game goes wrong. The cameras roll back too soon. The microphones don't turn off. The second category is human. Awkward pauses, stiff actors, weird lines. These stay in your brain forever. It honestly feels like they were planned to be memorable and memorable.
Mem- and memorable. Memorable. God, I can't talk today… OR CAN I? THE THIRD CATEGORY ARE PLANNED GOALS. I'm about to blow this whole thing wide open. Everyone can cite at least one bug from E3. Even people who don't know who Reggie Fils Aime is have probably said "my body is ready" at least once in their life. And you want to know what that is? GUERRILLA MARKETING. The only reason there are so many bugs in the E3 presentations is to MAKE YOU SHARE THE GAFFES. MAYBE YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE GOOD PRESENTATIONS, BUT SURELY HE LAUGHED AT THE MESSY ONES.
THE GAFFES ARE AN INSIDE JOB TO MAKE YOU BUY MORE VIDEO GAMES. So honestly, I'm going to assume that this is all planned from now on for you to talk about them online. Except when Todd Howard says something that's weirdly horny. Todd: "You never know when you'll need a free hand." That's just Todd. BONUS POINTS for the horny Todd. And the final key: The Big Finish. This is a game announcement that falls purely into the fanservice bucket. It's unimaginably amazing, incomprehensibly great, unbelievably good to be true, and honestly, it's probably because it's too good to be true.
The host will say "And one more thing," and then show a trailer that's probably a landscape shot, maybe some voiceover, and then just a title screen. BONUS POINTS if it's literally just a title screen. And then that game will probably get stuck in development hell for 7 years and may never get released. But isn't that what we want, as players? To be disappointed? And those are the 10 keys to a perfect E3 presentation. Follow these and you can do no wrong. And if you're not doing an E3 presentation, then again, you could use them as a drinking game.
It's not like I've already written all the rules and you can click and play with us since we're going to see all the E3 presentations. And to prove the power of these keys, here is my perfect E3 presentation. Sony, go ahead and simply plug your trailers into the placeholders I've set up for you. What does a player want? (what does a player want, tell me what a player wants) What does a player need? (what does a player need, tell me what does a player need) The games we make are powerful, they've never been made before. So let your inner gamer out, we'll open the door!
I know you will love these games, because I love them too. And it feels better when there's an excited player inside of you. Hunter, Hunter, let me get off my skate... Jesus. Hunter, take it! Good afternoon and welcome to the Unraveled Games E3 press conference. As a player, you can tell by the jersey that I'm very excited to share these new gaming innovations with all of you today. But before we get to the fun part, let's talk a little business. Let me put my blazer on. Let's talk about how we're changing the game... of games. The new Unraveled Engine has allowed us to create more detailed experiences than ever before.
I'm talking about 1200 enemies on the screen simultaneously, over 49 megapixels of screen resolution, 62 gigabytes of RAM and SEVEN HUNDRED TWENTY THOUSAND… I know it sounds like science fiction, but it's scientific fact. Why don't we highlight some of the games coming out on the Unraveled Engine? We can go to the next slide. Jen? Jen, we can go to the next one. Next Generation! First up, Unraveled Research 2. Fans loved the experience of creating spreadsheets on video game lore, but in this immersive sequel, you can do it with a mustache. Wow. And that's not all. We have the simulator Explaining your work to your relatives, the Dark Souls of simulation games.
Experience the terror firsthand of trying to explain to your uncle that you work in a very specific and unstable industry, but with graphics so realistic you'll feel like you're living in the game world. No, Uncle Bob, I don't make video games, I just make videos about them. No, it's not the trailers. Frightening. And finally, something groundbreaking, something that seems impossible, but we did it. I hope you'll join us on this journey of... BDG goes fishing in VR for the first time. *What? Hell yeah! What!?* *Audience applause* I have to finish the rest of the press conference, can you please shut up.
But is that all we have for you? In the least. Now it's time to show you a few things about the company that didn't make the presentation, and let us do all the hard work for them. Beat him. *Plays Arcade Fire sound* Wow. You know, I'm, um, going to go a little off script. I, uh, it's just, I've... It means a lot to me to be here on this stage in front of you. It's been a dream since I was a kid to present something at E3, and to have you here in the audience... to feel the support you've given Unraveled Games, it's...
Honestly, it's, um... Not at all. a million years I thought I might have- OH JESUS, HUNTER, DON'T TRY... Damn. Well that's all, uh, thanks everyone for coming. Except we have one more thing for you. We've been working on something very special with some very special people. From the visionary minds of David Cage and Peter Molyneux, we've teamed up with publisher Konami to release a Soulja Boy gaming console exclusive...you know what, I won't bore you with the details of the business, I'll just let you see the trailer. Voiceover: Yes. I think it's time. *intense music playing* *applause* Thank you all so much for coming!
Thanks. Have a great E3! Hunter, take it! *CRASH* Ha, we're good. However, that's the take. *everyone laughing* I almost, almost broke a laptop. But that's okay. We are fine. Clayton (offscreen): Start a couple of fires, that's fine! Brian: We, we, this is the most intense... Pat: We're not allowed to do this show anymore.

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