How to Eat Chicken Without Wanting to Kill Yourself

she's not actually a horse, she's just a person I disrespected. Michele was shooting now if you're a gym rat, you're more familiar with

chicken

breast, then everyone says your own father, gimme, you're more familiar with the landscape of Pluto than you are. you're your own father, anything because I'm an astronaut, although I am, but I digress, there are only four good types of

chicken

, okay, there's fried chicken, chicken wings, chicken parmesan, and chicken head, but you, you're a hardcore bodybuilding, so this is all out. -limits, your tall, powerful ass is eating bodybuilding chicken, which looks more like Dr.

Scholl's insides than an actual piece of edible meat. We've all been there, you looked at the piece of rubber bike seat on your paper plate. with your plastic utensils and your crushed soul and you think about quitting smoking, but you'd rather

kill

yourself

than lose your earnings, that's why it's called a diet, quitting smoking is out of the question, but luckily for you, no one has to die here now, except millions of chickens. Of course, but you wouldn't know because I'm here to tell you how to make chicken without

wanting

to

kill

yourself

. Stop prepping first, unless you want to spend more time buying meat and then being me, buy your chicken in bulk and freeze it, but here you go.

Who gets complicated, the worst part of cooking chicken is defrosting it. Trying to defrost chicken breasts in the microwave is more complicated than playing minesweeper. First you must hit the frost, enter the nuclear launch codes. We are calm to melt the ice and then, after seven. minutes and a half of continuous beeping you think your chicken is thawed still raw call the senate send it back for another arbitrary amount of time the edges are starting to cook and turn the clock in the tub I have no choice but to take it out now I'm left with the breast of half-frozen half-microwave chicken sitting in a puddle in a bowl I say it and throw it in the pan anyway and the end result is an overcooked tempur-pedic mattress you have no choice but to eat or you'll go catabolic go to Costco from BJ's or anywhere that sells bulk air conditioners and from the thin slices you know the frozen ten pound bag of frozen that you press, aren't they in the pan and Wale is she? great it's like without having to explode think of all that equipment all the things you could do to me to miss my friend tasting the chicken breast has no taste in fact to say that the chicken breast tastes bad would be giving the chicken too much credit the breast of Chicken is that.

Boy, don't you remember from high school, there's nothing you can do with meat to make it taste good. You can only put things in it that taste good and, as a result, you have to eat the chicken breast. Here's how to make your chicken taste. That's it, I just had to spice it up Step 1 Pretend that whatever seasoning you used made a difference besides becoming the burnt part you scrape off Step 2 Apply hot sauce Hot sauce has no carbs or calories and your sodium doesn't count as long as You don't breathe the amount it has, so it's the perfect choice.

Hot sauce is a makeup. What lies beneath is a reality you are not trying to face. Let me tell you something if you think you have an amazing chicken recipe out of the ordinary. Don't be that guy who thinks it's better than chicken because let me tell you something: your chicken is right between Bama Bull and killing yourself, but that's okay, listen, bodybuilding chicken is not that juicy, well-marinated chicken cooked under a brick for 45 minutes at Eddie's. trattoria is bird tits you have to heat the poison atom in both quantities you reheat every day for the next week for the next year you will feel every bite you have to trick your mind into accepting as much fluffy chicken as possible before your jaw locks and refuses to take another bite a couple of ways to do this literally two ways number one shredded chicken when you shred the chicken you weaken its main defense the amount of time it spends in your mouth number two you cut it into small pieces and spread it on whatever brown rice-based side you've prepared this way, you can cram as much chicken into your mouth as possible before your brain realizes that A you're eating chicken and B you hate yourself.

I know I will be honest with you. nothing your diet allows that will make the chicken better. Let's face it, all your options are pretty bad, but you need something to dilute it. It's like, oh, would you rather have your teacher, who is kind of ugly, pick on you because you know he usually is?, or your uncle. who's a guy and your dad's brother, that's who I thought you know what you might not have your first choice, but I'll tell you what's a lot better than having your uncle's fingers up your ass, trust me, trust In me, old water.

Under the bridge is the best sheet situation: vegetables. You always tell yourself you're going to eat vegetables and then they put them in the bottom drawer of your refrigerator and write them down so you know if you plan to eat Pam and your chicken with vegetables. Well, pay for your chicken with air and call your uncle if so, although the vegetables on the rice are great, the mixture is called pin with the meat softer. What day this is multiplied by zero. It's like eating wet puzzle pieces with bits of chicken eraser. rice looks like porridge, the ration on a space station after the earth dies, it's clean, so dig potatoes first when I just said potatoes, if your first thought was with sweet potatoes, then you are a sweet potato, they are the equinox of potatoes.

I have no idea why it's good, but that doesn't stop you from telling everyone it's the best, but if we're talking about a white-potato-shaped old maverick with a V8 engine, have we stepped aside? So if you're someone like Rosa Parks and Say Your Rules and you don't like regular potatoes. You have no problems with the chick. Regular potatoes are delicious. I need a light bulb if it were a pan with normal potatoes. Lastly, salad. No, if you performed all these steps correctly. Spoiler alert. You will still hate chicken and want to kill yourself, which brings me to the last step.

Eat tuna. You will eat canned tuna. It is awful. They say tuna is chicken of the sea, which means it's just as bad as chicken, except it smells and tastes. like the whale boom, suddenly chicken doesn't sound so bad, subscribe to my YouTube channel and don't calm down too much and definitely don't buy anything because I definitely don't need to buy a sweet new wing for my Lancer.