How To Become The Man You Want To Be

The other day I was re-watching Casino Royale and this scene really caught my attention. You know, James. I just

want

you to know that if all that was left of you was your smile, your little finger... you would still be more of a man than anyone I have ever met. I realized that in many ways, Vesper speaks for the audience because James Bond represents our culture's masculine ideal. Whatever it is, it is what so many young people wish they could

become

in this video. I

want

to investigate who exactly that aspirational man is because there is definitely something to learn: some positive traits we can add to our lives. .

But there are also some ideas of masculinity that would probably be best to discard. The first thing you can't miss about James Bond is that he is tremendously capable, he is an expert in hand-to-hand combat, Texas Hold'em, navigation, parkour, holding his breath, hacking a computer, driving (more or less) and also He is in fantastic shape and never seems to need regular exercise. And that's just what we see in Casino Royale. In other movies, he can fly a plane, drive a tank, dance tango, speak eight languages... you get the idea. The underlying message is that men should know how to do things which may seem like an empowering message until you realize that none of Bond's skills seem to require practice or learning and, although we know it's just the movie, part of us. believes we should just be good at some things;

Although the world doesn't work like that. Mastering any of Bond's skills would require a lot of unappealing practice time. This is what learning parkour really looks like. Yuck. Look, that wasn't a green; That was not right. My heel is touching it. The heels should never touch it. If you screw up, do it again. That was better. This is what it's like to learn tango. So you move forward with your left, forward with your right, forward with your left, sideways with your right, and then you'll drag your left foot toward your right without closing your feet. Can you imagine James Bond doing precision jumps for hours with no room just to get the parkour rhythm right or dancing tango just to nail his steps?

Probably not, but it would be an absolutely essential piece if he ever wanted to have those skills in the real world. So while being able to use a wide range of skills is admirable and can be a lot of fun, you'll never be able to achieve it without a lot of practice. Expect to be terrible at everything the first time you do it, the first many times. Expect to put in monotonous hours if you want to master any skill and expect to learn to appreciate that journey. It's less exciting than an instant skill set, but it's the only way to really learn something.

Secondly, we think of James as a man of action and he is, but what really defines Bond is his inaction; he does not react when his life is not in immediate danger. Sure, when the bullets start flying, he moves like crazy but when it's just words, he never gets nervous. Watch how he handles being tied in a chair and simultaneously threatened and attacked by Silva in Skyfall. Oh, you're trying to remember your training now. What is the regulation to cover this? We all have the first time for everything, right? What makes you think this is my first time?

Ah, Mr. Bond. Or how he calmly handles Vesper's insults when she says playing poker is a terrible idea in Casino Royale. Your boss should be well connected; He had never seen so much stuff come out the door so quickly. With a lot of style. Or how he later responds after being poisoned in the middle of a poker tournament. I'm sorry. That lost hand; It almost killed me. These are all fun moments, but most importantly, Bond doesn't waste energy on unnecessary anger, frustration, threats, or worry. If he can change something for his benefit, he will act, but otherwise, he will simply move on.

This ensures that he doesn't get stuck in his head reliving past mistakes or worrying about the future. And we would all do well to adopt the same mindset in our own lives. If someone gets in your way to work, talks bad about your work, makes a mistake that wastes your time (whatever it is), don't let yourself get angry. Instead, simply ask, "What steps need to be taken to change things?" If there is something you can do, such as calmly talking to the person and asking them to behave differently, do it. But if there is nothing to do, such as if someone interrupts you, let it pass as quickly as possible.

Knowing what really matters and focusing on action over your ego will make you a happier and more attractive person. The third thing you can't miss about James is that women love him, and while James is a written male fantasy, there is a grain of truth in women's reaction to him on screen. Women tend to be attracted to those two things we mentioned earlier: James is capable and unreactive. Just watch the scene below where both are demonstrated. First, that he's capable and that he won a car in a hand of poker and second, that she doesn't flinch when he suggests taking this woman home and she says, "No, thank you." Can i take you home?

That would really push him over the edge. I'm afraid I'm not that cruel. Well, maybe you just had to practice. Maybe. How about a drink at my house? Is closed? Very. A drink. Note that James is not aggressive or cowardly; he is simply flirtatious without fear of rejection. And since he doesn't care that she doesn't like him, she reconsiders. Now, this isn't a guaranteed outcome in the real world, but it does prove a useful point: we're all going to be quote-unquote rejected at some point. Someone in our love or professional life is going to say, "No, thank you." Reacting and getting angry only solidifies that they don't, but staying playful and not taking it personally creates the possibility that they will actually reconsider.

Speaking of joy, the way the rest of the scene plays out demonstrates how all those aspects come together. Good evening, sir, and welcome back. Welcome to my house. So if there's a lesson here it's that we can all expect to be rejected in our lives if we go after what we want. But accepting that it is not possible in our lives if we seek to make what we want happen creates an inner confidence that is both powerful and attractive. Fourth, and this is perhaps his most romantic trait, James is willing to die for his ideals or at least be tortured for them.

Now, realistically, there's nothing to take away from this, since most of us aren't going to find creative types of torture from Le Chiffre, but there is something metaphorical here and that is that we admire James because he sticks to his mission in the face of pain and that is what we all hope to see in ourselves. The things we pursue in our lives may not be easy to achieve. We might feel, metaphorically, that we have been stripped naked and beaten and that what keeps us going is not necessarily trendy clothes or fancy cars or the approval of others, which can be taken from us, but our inner conviction to stick to our goals. weapons and that's Vesper's point at the beginning.

James is not a man because of what he has acquired or even because he has human parts because, at this point, she doesn't know if Le Chiffre has damaged him irreparably. He is a man because of his actions in the face of adversity. You know, James. I just want you to know that if all that was left of you was your smile, your little finger... you would still be more of a man than anyone I have ever met. And of course, James hasn't lost his sense of joy which lifts Vesper out of her despondent mood. That's because you know what I can do with my little finger.

I have no idea. But you're looking forward to finding out. Standing firm in the face of adversity is clearly not something that only men are capable of so we should all ask ourselves where the difficulties are in our lives and if they really deter us from continuing or if you are able to laugh at them. and stay the course. Lastly, we have the conclusion of Casino Royale where Bond

become

s Bond after Vesper's betrayal. He learns not to trust anyone and completely shuts down his love for Vesper, as well as any kind of emotional reaction to her death.

He just looks. Christina: ...if you need time. James: Why should I need more time? The work is done. The dog is dead. The message here is that Bond will not open himself to being betrayed again and since Bond represents the ultimate in masculinity, it implies that real men do not open themselves to being hurt. I'm not saying that's the director's intention, but I think that's how most of us interpret it when we see Ice Bond finally saying his iconic line at the end of Casino Royale. The name is link. James Bond. By learning to trust no one and isolate himself emotionally, Bond finally becomes the guy we've loved for over twenty films and of all the messages about masculinity and Bond, I think this is the most destructive.

Without being too preachy here, true strength is not demonstrated by protecting yourself from getting hurt. It is demonstrated by opening yourself up to getting hurt because it is worth worrying at all times knowing that if the worst happens, you have what it takes to get up and keep going. Yes, losing what you care about sucks, but adopting emotional numbing as a strategy simply makes life less vibrant. So far, I've tried to deconstruct our culture's masculine ideal and I hope you see that some of it is fairly healthy behavior and some of it is more questionable, which brings me to the big point: once you start to understand how it's possible Even if you've been subtly influenced by it, you don't have to unthinkingly accept the ideal male form in our culture, in Bond or anything else.

Personally, I find Bond's lack of reaction admirable and believe that learning from him in this area improves my life. The invulnerability that creates walls is something I would rather not deal with and those are just my feelings. The most important thing is that you become aware of the ways in which you might have been unthinkingly striving for someone else's ideal image of a man or a woman or any kind of ideal, then you can intentionally choose your own ideal instead of having it chosen. for you. If you liked this video and want more, you might want to subscribe to our channel.

We create videos to help you become your most confident, charismatic self, and if you subscribe, you'll see our videos on your YouTube home page so you don't have to worry about missing any. Also, this video was a bit of a departure from the norm for me, so let me know what you thought and if you have any other suggestions for future videos. I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you next time.