HISHE Dubs - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Comedy RECAP)

Choking force! Now swipe right! Can you give me a hand with this? Man, I'm so evil! There's no chance I'll ever get good. Hey, loser! Who are you? I'm the most powerful bad guy in the entire country! I mean, look at my fingers, these are like the meanest fingers you've ever seen. That's all! Any last words? Yes, you are much more attractive in person. That!? Kill the girl... And I'll give you all these awesome spaceships! I'm a cold spaceship! How long have ships been frozen in ice? No, thank you, come on... Pretty, please? Well! My God!

Hi King. Are you in communion with the force? No. It's too difficult! I'm sure that when it's important later you can do it. Shut up! I have to do cardio! Hi King! Do you want to get hacked? Hey! For! Cut it! Kylo is being a bully! I can't do this anymore Here you go Hello King! Do you want to help us kill the emperor? Return it! Has the emperor returned? Yeah! I want to come too! No, stay here. Do you like my helmet? Be honest. I can accept criticism. It's wonderful yes. I love the detail. It really makes me laugh! hahahahahahahahaha!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Okay, that's enough. It's time to find Rey. I found Rey! Nuh! I found Rey! Who are you? I'm a nostalgic cameo... Here to boost your box office numbers! Do you know how we can defeat the emperor? You have to find one of these things. It's called holocrus... I mean, wayfinder. It's like a map. Uh-oh! The bad guys are coming! You guys have to go! But they'll see us if we leave now! Let's stay here where it's safe! Get off my trip! There they are! Get them! I knew it! Rey, we're in a speeder bike scene!

Now we are in a sarlacc pit scene! I mean... quicksand scene. We are all gonna die! It's a joke! We are still alive! Well, since we're down here maybe we should look for the path finder. Shit, is this?! No, it is not the route finder. It's just a dagger that conveniently reveals the route finder's location. If only you could read the secret language within... which I can... but I won't. A map to a map? This is

star

ting to get really complicated. I am a snake! AAAAGh! Kill him! Kill him now! You are not welcome here. I'm going to wait a second and let you demonstrate why it shouldn't bite any of you right now.

How about this? Oh that's nice! Thank you. Here I will only show you the exit. It's two feet here. Can you force the healing now? You can now force healing. Very well, Knights of Ren... I want you to be with all your forebodings on top of that rock. Further! Soooo much! Well ok. Hurry everyone! We have to go! Hello darling. Second thought. Shit, she's forcing synchronization with her boyfriend again! Chewy, tell him to hurry up! Yesssssss! And he tries not to let you be captured! We captured the Wookiee! Damn! Hello good things. New Tie fighter. Who is it?

Yuck! Rude! Do you know who I am! Remember me now!? Just kidding, I'm still alive. Give us back our wookie! No! Yeah! No! Good! That?! You just killed Chewy! What a tragic lesson about your force abilities that will forever change the course of our timeline!!! Oh, what a bold move that is! Yuck! Stay in your seats! This movie isn't going to kill off Chewy, you idiot! Yeah! Hi, I'm Babu Frik. I'm your lovely hacker tonight. Tonight we'll have a little sith translation... diluted with the wayfinder's location. Whaaaat? I did it. Now tell us where the route finder is.

He is on an old destroyed death

star

. Which? The Ewok. Well, then that really narrows it down. Just crash the falcon. Conveniently it will be the exact place he needs to see his hidden location. Then we'll never find it. The dagger is gone! Just kidding, I have the dagger! That? And I have Chewy too! Yeah! I knew he wasn't dead! And you'll never get them back! I have them both! Nooooo! And thanks for getting our boat too! Damn! And I'm a spy! Ah, just when I got interesting! Good job on the crash landing! And there is the death star!

And here is the dagger! Wait! Are you trying to line up the dagger with the debris? No way that will work that easy! Think of all the things that have to happen for that dagger to line up in exactly the right position... It worked! I give up. What's happening? Aaaagh we thought they were stormtroopers! I used to be a stormtrooper! No way! I used to be a stormtrooper! Do you think there are others like us? Like millions we could save from the empire... I mean the first order... I mean the final order? No, let's kill them all.

Oh. We almost give your character an arc there. I know right! Where is KING!?! I am king! I'm going to go look for them. Wayfinder, I will save the day. Search Engine It doesn't matter what else you find! Hello! Aaaaaa! Click on the King bait! Do you see something you like? Hey, that's mine! Mistaken! Splash! Soooo die! First you'll have to resist my cunning water fight! RRRrr go tempting! Hey girl. Even though you've been nothing but horrible to me, I'm still very attracted to you! You can't change me! Benjamin Chewbacca solo! Mommy! What are you doing in my thoughts?

I'm distracting you, you fucking flower! Oh! Mom stabbed me in the back... and you stabbed me in the front! It's like a betrayal sandwich! Don't worry! I can fix it! But why did you stab me if you were just going to reverse it? Because you're fine now. Am? Yeah! I have to go. See you! Well poop! How am I supposed to get out of here now? Okay, I'm out. Take it Han Hey son. Dad?! What are you doing here? I stabbed you! Yeah, it turns out I still like getting paid. So... do you think you're a good guy now?

How much do you want to bet I can throw a lightsaber over those mountains? But there are no mountains. Did you see that? Did you see it, dad? Aren't you impressed? Dad? Why the hell are you exiling yourself? I learned it by watching you! That's stupid. You are a fool. Take Leia's saber. Was she a Jedi? Yes and take the other search engine! It hasn't burned yet! and take my x-wing! Wow! Can I take you too? No! I'm just another nostalgic cameo. Weeeeeee! Okay everyone! We'll follow Rey to the bad guys... And we'll blow them all up!

As always before! But we don't have enough people! Shouldn't we wait until Lando returns and attack all at once? No, let's go now! Stroke! Oh shit! Everyone for themselves! Hello! Hellooooo! I'm looking for an emperor! Do you know where I can find...Oh, there you are! Do you know who I am? The enemy? No... I am your... Grandpa! Well this is not the family reunion I wanted! Now I need you to kill me! So I can live inside you... and be a girl. It's all this. I know it sounds strange. But I just need you to spray it!

No! Maclunkey!! Macclunkey! Macclunkey! Aaaaagh We're all going to die! How about Deus Ex Machina!? Are you saying that because you're known for saying weird things or... just blowing things up, kid? Well! I want to participate in this action! No one asks how my old school, non-lightspeed Tie fighter got this far. Don't worry King! I will save you! Why did I throw my lightsaber into the ocean? Here you have! Force teleport! Can you do that now?! She can do that now! Hello! How are you? Hey you. Well, now that they're both here... I suddenly realize that they both can make me young again!

Oh my God! Do you even have a plan? Give me your life force. No boyfriends allowed! King! Make an X with your lightsabers! That? Use the force as strong as you can! That? Am I communicating with the force? X you will do it! I'm finally in communion! Just when I needed it! Just mark an x ​​Yes. Do an X Do an X Do an x-ray Okie dokie! X-ray. ha ha! Get it. X-rays. Hello! Double lightsabers! The only weakness of the Sith lightning! Why can't I stop being surp

rise

d!? Peace in peace, Bantha! Hurrah! I did it! Oh no!

I have lost the will to live! Oh no you don't! force to heal! Can you do that now? I can do that now! That was good. Now we can get married! and have many babies! Second thought! Don't worry, then I'll bring you back to life! No, too late, I'm a ghost to you! Oh. I suppose not. We won! Ha ha! The saga is officially over! Chewy here. It has metal from 40 years ago. It will help you remember that all your friends are gone. too soon? Yeah! Well, I guess we don't need them anymore. I'll bury them in sand!

Everyone loves sand! Especially this sand! Who are you? Hello random woman! I am king! King who? Is this where you lived? Yes. Wow! I really got lucky! Tatooine is the worst! ha ha ha! You! For! ha ha ha! Okay, this is really weird... Byyyyeeee. I am king! King Skywal... Oh, she's gone.