Heal The "Dark Cloud" That Keeps Others From Accepting or Respecting You

There is something you could be doing that makes it very difficult to

heal

from past trauma and that is when you are thinking, eating and breathing this damaged idea of ​​yourself, even if you are not aware that you are doing it, you are signaling people, your low self-esteem that damages your ability to have positive relationships and that in turn makes it more difficult to

heal

. You may have noticed that this is when your childhood PTSD symptoms come back. It's like you have a

dark

cloud

around you. people can feel and it pushes them away, there is something strange that can happen when the abuse and neglect of your childhood surrounds you like a cloak, not a very nice cloak, and it holds you down, it weighs you down, it pushes your head down and I call it the underdog effect, it's like an identity, it's an energy that can block your ability to connect with people and can stop your healing right when you need it most, which is why some people call this Dark Cloud a Vibe, a feeling of bad energy, but A simple way to describe the underdog effect is a set of non-verbal signals that you communicate to other people simply by being you and, whether you want to or not, you are telling people about your inner state.

We all have a nervous system and yes we are. Consciously of it or not, we read and feel the emotional state of

others

through our own nervous system and through non-verbal signals and when I feel low self-esteem I usually prefer to hide it, but people will feel it. Has this happened to you when you try to say everything is fine and people keep asking you if you are okay? Are you OK? Because even though you have a big smile and say happy things, people can tell that you're about to cry, sometimes it's embarrassing. and in a way it's good that people are connected that way, they can tell when you feel shame or when you feel like you don't belong or that everyone is against you, when you feel that bad but you want to hide it, it's a big internal conflict.

We all know what that is, you don't have to read our minds because we are showing that with our words, our facial expressions, the way we wear our posture, the way we respond or don't respond to things, people can feel it and By the way, you can feel this in animals too, like you've ever met a dog that was abused in the past and when you say, hey, puppy, come here, how's it going? and the dog thinks he is in trouble and goes crazy. fall and shake well, we do the human equivalent of that we think oh I think I must have done something inappropriate and I'm embarrassed and we're like broadcasting that to everyone when I used to do that I'd be embarrassed Even for feeling embarrassed and I try to cover it up by acting tough or arrogant or funny or just don't know, focusing too much on myself, chattering away pushing people away, so childhood ptsd is very difficult because when you're alone it makes you feel lonelier and when you're going through a hard time, everything becomes more difficult, it's a downward spiral, sometimes you've felt it.

Hi, I'm the underdog, so what do you do to stop playing that role of the embarrassed person? I'll show you how. make it stop so you can get back on your feet and connect with people again and start taking positive actions again towards your healing, so let's first look at what's creating that

dark

cloud

. Start with hard events in your life that maybe started in childhood. Things like neglect or abuse that came from people you trusted. Now most of us also had some good experiences, but if the bad things are big enough, they can get stuck in your self-concept of who you understand yourself to be and this can continue.

For years or decades after the original pain, you get so used to it that you don't even know you're doing it and it doesn't stop there. Unhealed wounds from the past can push you into more wounds that past trauma creates in the present. daily trauma that's how it works and soon, even though you're trying really hard and you'd never want to make things worse, you're bringing more problems into your life, problem people, problem situations, the problems go from existing in our external circumstances to being internalized and becoming part of the personality, part of our experience now, for some people this is permanent, which is terrible, but I am here to tell you that the wounds of past traumas can really be healed and it can take a lot of concentration and self-control. -mastery, but when you can face the part of the problem that you have internalized, this is a great day because this is the part, not your parents, not their failure to acknowledge what they did or apologize, it is nothing in the past, it is you right now, that's the part where there is the potential for change now, if you think you can't change until someone else changes, there are many YouTube channels that will foster that idea for you, we deal with that here.

It changes inside even when you haven't started yet or the change you managed to make today is so small that you are embarrassed to tell anyone, but this is how you lose that low self-esteem and take back your power from whatever happened to you. you and begin to change the things that are in front of you. It's amazing how much you can heal your self-esteem by changing the problems in your life right now. This usually happens not in big big transformations but in many small transformations. steps taken over time, so how do you get there? How can you free yourself?

If you could look back in time and see perfectly clearly, you would see three things happening when you took on that underdog role and it's a combination of faulty bad habits. distorted decisions and perceptions, okay, habits, habits, decisions and perceptions that you never chose to be this way, these are just common side effects of early trauma and they originally came from your experiences like being neglected, judged and invalidated, ignored, stigmatized, bullied or abused, these are wounds. and it wasn't your fault, but it's internalized now, so that's how you change, not by going back in time, not by trying to get an apology from the people who hurt you, that could happen, but even if they apologized, even if the world will change totally.

May these injuries never happen to another child again. I mean, that would be great, but you would still have the habits and you would still have the poor decisions and the difficulties with the clear perception that you have now, so that's what I mean when I say this. It's an inside job, other people don't really have the key to healing your self-esteem, they can influence you, but you have the key, you have the key, now other people did harmful things, but now you are the one who heals your self-esteem. It seems like the people who hurt you should.

I know I agree, but that is a dead end and you cannot afford to wait to powerfully move forward with your healing and focus inward. Was there a point where you didn't know how to set a boundary or maybe you hurt someone or was there a time where you were disappointed, that's why we turn inward, it's a noble and holy thing to do this search to see if there is a part We are ready to change and I know that in the type of families we come from they did not always teach us how to change our habits and improve our decisions and our perceptions, but we discovered it and I am going to teach you now.

So to simplify things let's take the example of being late for work all the time, that is a bad habit and if it happens constantly it is not an accident, it is a decision that is causing that and assuming that you want to have this job is a decision mistake or a whole series of bad decisions such as not getting up on time, leaving all the work of getting ready until the last minute or simply allowing yourself to be distracted, whatever the reason, now the reason is probably carelessness, I know what is normal for those . of us with cptsd, but if I tend to dysregulate when I'm in a hurry, then anything that makes me predictably run the risk of being late is a bad decision, why would I do that?

Why would he sabotage me like that? I want to be on time I want to stay regulated I want to keep my job so we know, thanks to recent research, that people who experienced childhood trauma are often challenged to predict the risk involved in making bad decisions. Neurologically, stress can cause a temporary decrease in the ability to measure the consequences um, you miscalculate the time it takes to get to work, you can literally see this on an MRI, which is why I'm gesturing up here. , you can see it on an MRI when a person with childhood trauma is stressed, the left frontal cortex has less activity. and that's where reasoning happens and the right frontal cortex, which is where emotions happen, becomes more active, so we wake up, we feel rushed, that's stressful and then, oops, our perception becomes distorted and We make the wrong decision about when to leave the house and then...

You're late, which creates more stress and you guessed it, the negative cycle starts again. Distorted perception. Faulty decision. Bad habit. If you have that, your distorted perception can make it difficult to see what something is happening to you versus a problem that is happening to you. You're actually provoking yourself, so instead of adjusting the way you do things, you might get angry at traffic, resent your boss, or feel really judged by other people who give you dirty looks when you're late, so however it plays out, the end result is that you feel bad about yourself that's how that feeling of low self-esteem happens with maybe some distrust of other people and some confusion mixed in that's the underdog effect that's what It makes us doubt ourselves that's how we generate that cloud around us that feels negative to other people, so how do we change it?

It is difficult to control brain functions, but it is relatively easy to work on the actions you take, the behaviors that make you feel bad about yourself. All people with cptsd do better when they learn to notice when they are dysregulated and take steps to re-regulate when negative emotions take over rather than trying to fix the emotions, if you focus on simply re-regulating, Emotions will often come back down on their own, so you want to keep both sides of your brain. the reasoning and feeling you know even work in harmony so you can know what you feel and care about other people and still make rational decisions and like everyone else we need to keep working on our habits a little better every day. how this is going may seem like a lot of work, but it's happy work with immediate rewards and it's a lot easier than getting stuck in trauma symptoms or trying to change other people right, so listen, it's not your fault you have ptsd. childish.

The good news is that healing is possible and you can do it, you can ask for help and decide what works for you and that's how you feel good about yourself and increase your self-esteem to a level that is unmistakable. the outside world if you want some tips on how to start feeling happier with things you can do right now, today I have a free download for you that you can click on right there and I'll see you very soon.