Heal Chaos and Overwhelm: DECLUTTER Every Part of Your Life

Studies show that people with a lot of clutter in their homes have a higher than average rate of anxiety, depression, social isolation, and ADHD-like symptoms, but here's what bothers me about these studies: They assume that all of these symptoms are caused by clutter and therefore if you clean. Eliminate clutter, you will no longer be depressed or stuck, you will be happier, you will be more focused, more connected to other people and honestly, there is some truth to this, but that does not mean that clutter is the root cause of those problems. to raise a bold hypothesis and that is that the disorder is just another symptom of trauma along with depression, anxiety, isolation, etc., but it is not the direct cause of those symptoms.

We now know that trauma affects people neurologically and that means their brain, their physiology, their feelings and their behavior patterns. Now trauma can make people compulsive. It can fill

your

thinking with stressful thoughts. It can make you feel immobilized and unproductive. It does something to

your

neurology that very often expresses itself as disorderly behaviors that accumulate things you don't need and pile it up around your living or work space with the intention of organizing it at some point in the future but without having the inner power to do so. and I think disordered behavior is a traumatic version of something normal and natural we call nesting behavior. and nesting is setting up your home space, making it comfortable, warm, tidy and well-stocked, which is a good and natural instinct, but like all good instincts, trauma can push it towards something exaggerated and that's what mess is so good.

Instinct on an amplified level that makes it not good, which is caused by a feeling of

overwhelm

and inability to organize or take action by cleaning your things, so you have too much food and some of it is rotting or too many jackets. or giant piles of papers that you've been meaning to go through or you can't find your toolbox because you left it lying around and then other things piled up on top of it, that kind of thing, so that's what I mean when I say I have my own hypothesis and somehow It goes against the research because while researchers assume that the symptoms that accompany the disorder are the cause of the disorder, I believe that the disorder is more of a companion symptom.

Trauma causes depression, anxiety, and lack of mental well-being in all of them. Concentration and disorder make you feel faithful, wherever it comes from. I think these symptoms interact with each other and that's why when you're

heal

ing from trauma I don't think you always have to start with the root cause of the trauma. It can start at any point in your symptoms where you feel enough inner power to take some action, so are you ready to throw out the old vegetables in the refrigerator and clean out those gross drawers? That's a great place to start. Do you have a couple of hours available to organize all your unsorted papers into separate piles from your junk file and do something about it is also a great idea and you know that both actions will surely lift your spirits and improve your ability to concentrate.

Decluttering is a powerful re-regulation exercise. with very nice added benefits, like your bills are paid, but in my experience, you will always need to cure your dysregulation symptoms to even find that inner power to

declutter

anything because that's the problem, do you know you should

declutter

? but you have no power to do it, not doing it makes all the other problems in your

life

a little worse. Now hoarding is something separate and more difficult to change, and I'm not talking about that here today, but about that. one is, uh, not only is there a lack of power, but there may also be a distortion in the thinking that it is necessary to do it, it just seems like knowing

every

thing as it is is terribly important, so I'm distinguishing that disorder is like you didn't exist Okay, it's a problem.

I wish I didn't have all this stuff piled up. I can't find my keys so you agree it's a problem. It's a lack of power, so getting that inner power moving and accessing it, that's how you're going to do it. Be able to order and with that power of movement activated in you you will also find that your emotions become lighter, your mind is more focused, you feel calmer and more open to new experiences and letting people into your

life

, I want say, have you ever done it? If all of this goes together, clutter is a big problem for many people who had childhood trauma and it's not just the physical space and belongings that could be called clutter, people with cptsd also experience too much mental clutter in their mind. . a jumble can't concentrate or read situations because it's like you know the bag of cats that are there and then there's an emotional mess where your feelings show up

every

where, some of them from so long ago you didn't even know where they are. you come, but you have a debilitating reaction to them that totally gets in your way and there's also a mess in relationships where people are in your life, they're a mix of people that are good to have in your life and people that maybe aren't. they should be. in your life and finally there is a time disorder where you are overloaded, you are not prioritizing, you get carried away with things that seem urgent and you ignore things that are really important and I am going to talk about all this because They are all common in the disorder of childhood post-traumatic stress and they can all improve when you have the power to change even one of them when you learn to detect and

heal

neurological dysregulation caused by trauma, which in turn causes many other trauma symptoms, including those that trigger. your tendency to stay cluttered, whether it's your calendar, your filing cabinet, you know the floor of your car, whatever, having space and order, I mean, doesn't that sound good when you can practice noticing your neurological dysregulation, which is a symptom of common trauma, and learn to master it?

After re-regulation, disorder of all kinds begins to calm down and there is a wonderful and attractive feeling of peace and possibility that can come into your life and that is another source where that well where your inner power comes from begins to fill because there is peace visual space around you and there is time, so let's start with the physical clutter. I'm talking about belongings just scattered around your physical space in your house, in your yard, in your car, in the place where you work, and it's visually chaotic, it's full of things that you don't really use or need and that makes it difficult find what you need, for example, keep huge boxes or racks of clothes of various sizes in case you lose or gain weight even though the clothes that don't fit you now no longer fit. old and out of fashion and make clothes that fit right now you have a good place to live in a closet with enough hangers or enough drawer space where the clothes are clean and ready to wear, right?

Am I kidding you about something like these multi-size clothes? It's something totally typical of people who struggle with their weight and you never really know what size you know, sometimes it goes down for a while and then it goes up again and that's one of the beautiful things when order comes to your life around food. I know, and it can take a long time to come, this is what goes along with trauma, very much like a kind of eating disorder, disorder of what you choose to eat and what you have available to you, but then that has this effect. in clothes and it can mean a lot of boxes and clutter in closets and then a weird whole like segments of your closet that are sort of the portions of clothes that you can't wear and what you can do with the clothes that you can't. fit right now is that you can put them away, it's okay to put them away, but put them in a way that you already know, stored and not just piled up everywhere and trying to figure it out and every time you try something on it's the wrong size. you feel bad about yourself like why do you do that you pick things up at thrift stores or leave them on the street like where I live in Berkeley that's customary even in posh neighborhoods when people have something you still use they put it out on the street and yesterday or the day before yesterday I was taking a walk and someone had taken out a bunch of plastic things with different cutlery, there must have been 30 knives, 30 forks like everything and, in fact, a year ago. we were very scarce, we had a lot of potlucks and things like that and we were short on enough cutlery, so I bought some, I bought some like Costco, it was cheap, we have plenty of cutlery, but it's like we were left feeling like I don't have enough, so I picked it up off the street and I hold it because I have adult children, right?

Well, maybe you know, maybe when they go out alone they'll need cutlery. Don't know. but my husband says you did it again you did it again I grew up very poor and many times we didn't have enough and it's very difficult for me to walk past things that are on the street given away without thinking that I don't need this right now, but I could and if I did and I should have this every once in a while it becomes a mess and you know, I'm lucky to have this giant garage that I can store things in that I don't really use. but every year or six months I have to go in there and start putting things out on the street and it's almost like something funny in my family, it's a tendency that I have and it's definitely a legacy of some trauma from when I was little.

It's actually like a nice, healthy feeling for me when I pick things up and put them back on the street, like it makes me feel good that someone else is going to use them. Some of their poor saps always take them back. Who has this thing that I have like I don't know? You might need a hundred pieces of cutlery in the future or it may also be good to donate things. You can donate them to Goodwill and if the things are decent, you know you will receive them. to add up the calculations with the fair market value and that's a tax deduction if you itemize your taxes so one thing that stops people is the feeling that these things could be sold so you know we have some broken bikes in the garage and we thought oh well we should sell them you know if we fix them they would be worth things.

I mean, I know people with very active businesses on Craigslist or Ebay, you know, selling things and maybe they're out there and they like to collect things productively and sell them and make some money that way, well that's cool if If you're not someone who has the level of organization and power to do it, it would be better to give the broken bike away or donate it, so a general rule of thumb is that it depends on how much money you have, but let's say you could replace something for twenty dollars. and you're not using it right now, go ahead and give it away because if you can replace it for twenty dollars, you know, if you have a little more money, you could put the line at fifty dollars, if you could replace this for fifty. dollars but you're not using it right now, go ahead, so a bike is worth more than that, right, a used bike costs I don't know 500 or something, that's a lot of money, but then it's time to use a productivity method to write.

Write down a few things you're actually going to deal with and give yourself a timeline. I'm going to repair this bike and it costs sixty dollars to repair the bike and then you put it on Craigslist and sell it for a few hundred. dollars and then you have the money and that's satisfying and I would like everyone to have that money, everyone is happy, you know, someone has a bike and the bike is fixed and everything is going great, but it's realistic, can you do it? So, another agreement. What you can do is

part

ner with someone who is willing to help you and split the profits from these efforts and sometimes people who you know are looking for a little extra work would be happy to do it with you, but you still have to put in the effort to come to that agreement with them, so I'm just saying that sometimes the best way to get rid of clutter is to give it away.

It will still be valued by someone. It will still be useful in the world. it's just that you're not going to have the cash, so another thing is your closet full of cans and containers of things that have been there for over a year, so the cans last quite a while. I understand that you were very hungry. When I was a kid, we had times where we didn't really have anything to eat, so it was this trend that started when I started having my own money in my own place to live, I would buy excess food and it was things that I was never going to eat. , but I just need.

I loved the feeling of fully stocked closets with tons of stuff like that, it gave me that feeling of peace and security, but the fact of the matter is that I don't need to do that right now. I have all that food in the cupboard because I have some money saved and I could go buy it at the store at any time if hard times hit me like at the beginning of lockdown when we were all thinking, oh my God, there will be with this food shortage, everyone We're going to starve, you know, we were thinking we live near a stream, we'll have water and then I bought boxes and boxes of tuna, chicken, green beans, corn and all this stuff. things that, you know, we've barely made a dent three years later and it's time for me to give a little to the pantryof food because it's good food and people will be happy to have it, but we only have to distribute it where it's really needed and they're going to eat it.

Even the cans have their correct expiration dates, so that's something I'm really looking forward to and I'll have more shelf space, and even if the shelves were empty, that's fine, personally, because I'm very dysregulated by visual clutter, like seeing a shelf that has a little bit of space between items, it's actually very regulating for me and It stimulates my imagination and my sense of being productive. Do you have that? Do you have cars that don't work? God. Forbidden, are they in the front yard? Well, I grew up like that and I was really ashamed and embarrassed about it, and you just know my parents were going through a lot, they didn't have the power to deal with it, but yeah, there was a problem. car in the front yard for years there was a wall between the living room and the garage that had been broken through these bricks with a large jagged hole that was also there for years and that we used as a door to convert the garage into a bedroom , but when I was a teenager it took me a while to understand what was going on in my family: alcoholism, alcoholism just sucks up all that cleaning energy and this mess was everywhere in the house, there were thick layers of dust, there was rotten food and I was very embarrassed that people came home and then my husband had a car that didn't run, he went ahead and bought another one thinking he would sell the old one and then two or more years passed, he finally sold the car so well. news, he finally sold the car, but it got covered in leaves, the neighbors started complaining, the city came and put tags on the car, and it really was a great source of old shame, well, there was like no, I think there was some that was.

It's a legitimate shame nowadays, but that old childhood thing of being like the most screwed up family on the block and the neighbors themselves complaining, it was um, yeah, it was, it was beyond even my standards and that level of mess for me, uh, he just nailed it. I feel like we know that we were also counting on having the money for that car and we had a plan for that money and we couldn't go ahead with the plan for the money because we didn't have the money because we had this We kept paying the registration and those kinds of things were very demoralizing for me.

Much of my healing from complex PTSD has to do with gaining competence and mastery over managing life in these areas that were not fully together when I was a child. Since I always have car insurance I always go to the dentist every six months even when I was a single mom and had to go on my third credit card I took my kids to the dentist all the time when I was a kid I had really bad teeth and finally a relative intervened and paid to have a lot of dental work done when I was about eight years old.

I had to have like four crowns when I was eight because no one brushed my teeth, you know, and um, so that's a thing that's always helped me feel like life is okay, life is together now, a car is a great example of something that's hard, you know, sometimes decluttering has this series of steps and when you have cptsd and you're having trouble staying focused and on a task. It involves a whole series of steps that can be very difficult for a person with cptsd and this is where having a whiteboard or an online digital like I use this thing called a kanban flow.

I always tell people k-a-n-b-a-n and I make a list that I look at every day several times and delete things that I complete or move them to a column actually, but you can create a little task and then click and drag it to these different columns and name them however you want, you can color code them and So the steps necessary to sell a car correctly are to have it slush and super clean and then you have to make sure that it runs and that the tires are full and you have to know where the keys are for all of this and a time it is.

You don't always know, if you're really messy, knowing where the keys are is a problem and if you don't have the keys, you have to get the keys, you have to have the paperwork and the title ready to sign, so all that. It can be so discouraging and

overwhelm

ing that you will never be able to do it. I know exactly why we get saturated and why cptsd correlates with this like it's too much if there's a lot if you're very deregulated, so this is another case of sometimes the easy thing. The way out is to donate and obviously if your car has a lot of value you know you still want the money but my family has done this before when we had a car that was a bit junky and we couldn't follow all the steps.

We donate it. and they just come and take it and take it even if you don't have the papers, even if it doesn't work, you know there's someone who wants that car and that's really helpful for a person like me who can feel overwhelmed and everything. it gets stuck and I can't plan anything unless I solve the problems in front of my eyes toiletries, let's talk about toiletries, so a few months ago I bought some good makeup. I talked about it here before, it was a big deal in my life to finally have really good makeup.

I'm using it now, how do you like it? But I used to have the cheapest stuff from Walgreens, like I was putting things in my eyes that didn't even stay. in my eyes and it was five dollars and I got little splinters in my eyes and it probably caused this cancer. I don't know, it's what I had and it's what I was used to and it comes from growing up poor, but I'm at I've gotten to a point in my life where it's important for me to have my makeup together and look good and stay on my eyes. and not slip, so I hired an expert and her name is Maria Riley, she is a makeup artist and I had hired her.

Her for professional video shoots that she used to do before, but I hired her just for me and she came and helped me and showed me, you know, she told me what to buy and what makeup to buy and she taught me how to apply the makeup. And it was a really great day, it was a bit stressful and I had a lot to learn for myself. I never really knew what I like. I touched up my face with foundation, yes, of course, that's how it is. I didn't even know you could airbrush. Foundation on your face, but it looks better and I don't know if it looks great so I have a little airbrush and I have these little capsules and you know I have to keep it all on.

I have to wash my brushes and that's all. but when Maria was sitting with me showing me this, she did well, she said first, you know, take out everything you have now, so I showed her all my makeup and she was very calm and non-judgmental about my shitty old stuff. Like this nail polish like she can't open it. I'm like oh yeah, I bought it in like 1999 uh to put my son's initials on his toothbrush, you know, it was a long time ago, you know, and it doesn't open anymore and um she was like, well, you can anything you If it's old and can't be used anymore, you can just throw it away, there were some things that were old and you can still use them, but now I had a new better version, but it was half-used makeup and it was like what can we do with this?

Can we give it to someone? She said: No, you can't give people old makeup. Throw it away and then you know this

part

of me that is so thrifty. I can't stand throwing things. I got used to it, it's like I have better things, now I don't need this anymore. I'm not really going to use it anymore and no one else wants my 15 year old tanner or they definitely don't want my two year old tanner. -Old mascara that's a little dry, you know they don't want it, it's unhealthy and it wears off, you just throw it away, so it was kind of liberating for me and I realized there was a bit of a hoarding style there.

I had an emotional attachment like this, it was makeup from 20 years ago, like I was young back then, I had little babies, I was a new mom and throwing away things that belonged to me at that time and the same with pants. I'm never going to fit in again, you know, it was just this idea of ​​a time that I could go back to and I had to keep in mind that it's okay, it's okay to get rid of belongings from that time because the way we can revisit those times is. look at pictures, make memories or just live in the present and have a good time now.

There are many ways. You know, for example, that I'm more like a young person in my life now and that I have a happier heart I feel more free-spirited I can have fun at a party I don't sit there feeling bitter like everyone hates me like I'm a little younger than I've ever been so it's okay I know I don't have the belongings anymore and I'm telling you the 1999 pants and the big bell bottoms and stuff, I don't even want them anymore and I can't button them so everything okay, so the ones I donated and you.

I know God helps people who really want to wear those old pants, but maybe they will and I just trust that Goodwill will sort it all out and anything that needs to be recycled like fabric they will take care of it and I can stop. I'm grieving or something, but it's out of my closet. You know, if it's sentimentality or fear of missing it in the future or you feel fed up with it, but I don't have the inner power to do it. You know, just take the time and put it on. your schedule and do it, power is what you need, whatever step you need to take, what will drive you to take that step is the power within, so I'm going to talk about how to get that power within in this video. but I just want to cover clutter a little more, so let's go over the other dimensions of clutter that hold you back and prevent you from feeling open to life and ready for good things to come.

One of them is mental disorder. I can say from my own childhood experience that PTSD is that the things that I have in my mind can be very cluttered and I'm sure that there is some kind of problem with the trauma that makes the thoughts and ideas that you know are more difficult to classify, remember and process. in a good way, you know how to move them and that Mind clutter in there makes it hard to concentrate, hard to prioritize things appropriately, and hard to realize that I have options when I'm feeling overwhelmed. like the world becomes very small like I'm so overwhelmed I'm so overwhelmed that there's nothing I can do and then under that deregulation and the options open up again so I'm very trusting. on to-do lists, stopwatches and calendars so I can predict, when I have a clear head, what I need to do each day and then write a plan now.

I know not everyone is a planner. I am a planner. Plans help me achieve. things out of my mind I know that if I write them down I don't have to keep reminding myself don't forget don't forget lower the rent lower the rent now I don't always follow my plan, in fact, I almost never stick completely to my plan because my Plans are too ambitious, but I don't have to waste time all day trying to figure out what I need to do next. I've already put them in order of priority of what I'm doing. I go do and declutter my mind twice a day doing my daily practice techniques that help me get resentful and fearful thoughts out of my mind and onto paper so that I have more of my mind available to think and imagine things and do things and there is a link to my daily practice course in the description section of this video and to all my videos, if you want to try it, it's free, anyone can try it and that's one way to know if it helps you too clear your La mind is trying, then there is an emotional disorder and mainly by this I mean old beliefs and resentments that were once true and that you have been telling yourself and other people long after the due date, like a boyfriend did In secondary school. with your best friend, well, that happened to me.

I only found out from my friend when he was an adult and I cried really hard about it for 10 minutes and he was really sad and then for about four months I couldn't. "I didn't let him go. I just couldn't let him go. I was very resentful. In the end the friendship with the friend fell apart, not because of this directly, but I think when the truth of the relationship came to light, I don't know, I just It was like this". I don't hold it, we've been friends for a long time, but what she did, I thought a little less about her even though it was so long ago, I mean, it was literally back in the '70s and we grew apart, but now just because to my daily practice, the emotions about it are like they don't exist, I don't have any tears about it, as I remember it, it's a fact, but I'm not carrying this emotional disorder, this resentment towards her or this victimization like oh, I could I would have been so cool with this boyfriend if she hadn't come.

I have no illusions about it. Sometimes the painful things that happen are an indicator of the instability and ungodliness of the things in your life, the relationships in your life, and So sometimes we become emotionally cluttered when we hold on to that kind of thinking "Shoulda, coulda, woulda." dear" or um, you know really, you know they owe me a debt, and I apologize, I can't, I apologize, I can't let this go until they apologize, so there's something that emotionally freezes Amber and she turns into a identity, and these are some of the phases that I've had to go through sometimes in healing, like it's really healing for meAt a certain point, you know what?

I'm an adult child of an alcoholic and that was all my thing for a while and gradually I did a lot of healing around that and this and the things that go with that and I also realized that there are things going on with me. that is a problem that has nothing to do with that and to solve those problems it helped me free myself and start going I am a person who has a lot of things I have had some difficult things I have had some advantages um I will always be the adult child of an alcoholic , but that is no longer my main identity.

I'm a person with complex PTSD, but I always tell people that your trauma is an injury, but it's not an identity, it's not. what you are and that's why you carry all these things as if such terrible things happen that I can never change. There are some problems in life that can't really be changed properly and an example I use is losing a limb, you can't get another limb back but you can get a solution around you, often you can get a prosthetic that will help you do many things and your life can continue to flourish anyway, and that is an orderly approach to dealing with life's difficulties, not carrying them around forever as they always go. take some time to deal with the pain, sadness, disappointment and anger over what happened, but soon, with healthy healing, everything moves down the conveyor belt into the past, space opens up again for new experiences, new relationships and yes, new headaches, new.

One's life goes on. Emotional disorder also comes in the form of searching for people on social media that you are obsessed with or searching for news about things that make you angry, like anger is a drug, like being different than disagreeing with hatred towards some other type. of a person and that is a drug and that is a disorder, indignation is a total emotional disorder if the news you read does not help you be informed so that you can be more useful it is a disorder, okay, it is an emotional disorder and you will probably is getting sick and is likely to spread to other people and make their world difficult.

I really urge you to pay attention and prioritize what is useful, just as you would go through a drawer and put away the genes you still use and get rid of the ones you no longer have. You will never use it when you are consuming media, what are the things that you really find useful, necessary for your work or really entertaining and edifying to you? Brilliant. I am all for people being informed, but we are far beyond being informed. more with the level of information that is designed to agitate and disorganize us emotionally and the consequence of that is a lot of division and isolation and believe me as a traumatized person, you don't need more of that, so if your media consumption is making you feel separated from people, if it makes you feel against or victimized by people in a way that you weren't used to, then it's disorder if it helps you recognize a problem that you can solve or need to address. helpful, that's basically the formula, now finally the emotional clutter can be the sad stories we tell ourselves about things like, you know, I was the black sheep of my family and now I'll never be able to feel like I belong or that My mom and I rejected me.

I just can't have relationships, those are things that I have believed about myself before and luckily I took them out of the closet and made room for a new idea and a new experience to arise and I understand this a lot in the letters that people write to me and someone was writing . You know, I spent years waiting for this girlfriend to finish school and then she didn't want me anymore and they felt bad for all those years and it had been years and years since it happened and now they would never be able to get an education and I'm just going to say yes. , no, that sucks, but there was nothing stopping you from doing what you wanted to do with your life while you were in that relationship or now and there are certain relationships that hold you back and that do hold people back, abusive relationships, the course of those being trapped in terrible poverty, being imprisoned, these are some of the reasons why people legitimately stay stuck, but many times this is learned helplessness we are like the little bird in a cage the door is open but we never think about getting out flying those stories that you tell yourself this cage I can never get out need to be questioned you must ask yourself is it true is it true Is there another way what would happen if I left the cage and the circumstances of your life?

I know it will include some things that are difficult and some things that are easy, some things that will probably never be resolved in some things. that are just a second away, just a small decision away and some things that are so huge that you really have no control over them, but you start with what you can do, you start with what is right in front of you, people with cptsd feeling overwhelmed and overwhelmed is this feeling like I see hundreds of things to do, where do I start? Just start with what's in front of you.

One thing you can try right now is to simply make a quick day where you don't talk about a certain problem anymore, you could even take a fast to stop thinking about it. You know you can't totally control your thoughts, but when you find yourself thinking about it again, divert your thoughts to something else, just for a day. to learn about that space that you really have inside of you where you're not consumed by this problem that happened, this limitation that was imposed on you in a moment and just see if you don't, if there's not some kind of little door in that cage.

There are possibilities. of real life in front of you right now and to see them you may need to overcome those wounds and let them recede into the past and I continue to promise you this. I'll talk about how to do it, okay, but I want to talk about a couple more types of messy relationships and I'm talking about all types of relationships: friends, coworkers, family, people in the Romantic category, if you have cptsd you probably You have a shortage of people with whom you feel good. Sure, well, seen and heard, who gets you and you have a lot of people you don't like and don't want to deal with, but you're forced to see them because they live in the same building as you or you.

I feel obligated either they work where you work or you have to carry this thing like I don't know, it's probably just me. I should keep putting up with this person who really makes me feel terrible because it's probably just me, that's a traumatic thing, so decluttering relationships means you make space in your life to enjoy people you have an affinity for, like, like. You feel good, you inspire each other, or you have a common purpose, like working or raising children together, and you do it by gently weeding people out. that they no longer belong in your life, it's better to have fewer people who are good for you than a bunch of people who just make you feel like a messy relationship, you don't need to have a good reason to walk away from a relationship, however it helps to have clarity and if you need clarity on who those people are, my connection boot camp talks about that so you can check it out if you're interested, finally there's time clutter and I think this one you know what I'm talking about that's where you take on too much and This is the problem with overachievers who satisfy their need for approval and meaning by saying yes to things and having accomplishments and having this feeling of a very busy, colorful calendar. good things, but if you don't have time for your friends, or to exercise, or to learn, or to get enough sleep, or to heal your trauma, then your time is too messy, you need a space in your life that is not scheduled , that is unspoken and open so that you can decide in the moment how you want to spend it, even if you are just sitting there staring at the wall because it is in those moments of inactivity that you can really recharge your batteries to get new ideas, you could make changes, you could do something really big with your life, that you couldn't have done when you were chained to other people's timelines and agendas and that's one of the functions of meditation is knowing how to schedule and bring that time of peace of mind for that new inspiration to arrive.

When you stop being disordered in your entire life, openness comes and also responsibility and, sometimes, that need to disorder your mind, your heart, your time, your home, is a way of keeping life away from you, it is a covert avoidance, it's something I call life is. Sometimes it's hard, it can be a trigger, and for that, what you really want are boundaries and the ability to make decisions and say no, but the mess. I think it's a low-level barrier to keeping your life manageable. In fact, I'd put debt on that in that column too. how to get into debt staying in debt is a way to slow down life I see that I have no options I see that I have to stay stuck where I am because actually thinking about my next step is a stressful trigger, but that is not a good way to do it. -nurturing and treating that feeling of being overwhelmed and triggered until the end, the side effects of that isolation, is freezing in amber instead of growing and isolating and making everything in the end unmanageable, it becomes more stressful, not less stressful, when you close life, so even if you don't know what your next step is, consider just opening something better in your life because there is greatness in you and it needs space to breathe and grow beyond the trauma beyond what was done to you. the past and one way you can begin to get into that good energy of change and growth is by decluttering, you can start where you are with just one closet or one thing on your calendar that you need to eliminate by ending a friendship that no longer exists. no longer serves you or letting go of an old grudge you had against someone that isn't really going to change anything, whether you hold the grudge or not, when you make space in your life, some old feelings and thoughts driven by the trauma definitely They will disappear. surface and therefore to keep your order constant and sustained and not fall back into it or start accumulating things again in every sense of the word, you will need tools to help you face and release the friction that arises from the feelings that used to be filled. depressed about your inability to act, you know, push it down, you know, keep avoiding, so if you want to open up to this and be able to process those feelings that come up, one thing I recommend is that you try my daily practice techniques. they're free, it's an online course that you can complete well, you can learn the techniques in less than an hour and there are a ton of FAQ videos to learn the fine points and the link to that free course is here and I'll check it out. you will arrive very soon thank you