Giving Reddit Relationship Advice - SimplyPodLogical #35

Hello what's going on? Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Simply Pod Logic, a Simply Pod Logic podcast. Hi, today we're

giving

some unsolicited

relationship

advice

to anonymous posters on Reddit. Nobody asked us for this. Nobody asked us for this, but first we give it to them. that unsolicited

advice

, we have a tip for all of you and that is that you should have a delicious and nutritious breakfast every morning, it is good for you and if you want to do that, you can just visit www.oats.com and try. Overnight oats are a delicious breakfast, high protein, low sugar, high fiber, I think there are dairy free options and even if you don't care about all that stuff, it just tastes delicious and is super easy, you make it the night before to leave you put it in the refrigerator and then you don't have to worry about anything in the morning, yes, even if you don't worry about your health, it's very easy to do, that's right again, that's just oats.com and you can use the code just for 10 off, enjoy your oatmeal, I love them, I had the peanut butter cocoa cookie crispy crust, it's like the name too long, I really love that one, that's your right to choose and lately these flavors have come out secrets that are beautiful. fun too, really fun, thanks overnight oats for sponsoring me okay so let's jump right into the questions so you've seen them before.

It's a very popular sub

reddit

called I think it's just called our

relationship

advice, but then you'll see accounts on Twitter. and things that add some of the most interesting to your entertainment. The people posting this make me wonder if they're legitimately looking for advice or if sometimes it's just more fun, like they don't really know if they're real or Frankly, no, just for those people like me who just aren't aware of Reddit's posting culture. and ask for advice. Tell us Ben, there are a lot of different threads or groups on Reddit where people ask for advice for different reasons. just relationships, sure this is just one of the most popular sub

reddit

s that people will intentionally post as their problem or problem because they are looking for correct information, so it's like nowadays, ask Alice, remember that?

Do you know what that is? She was something very like a young woman, dear, dear Prudence. Yes, you would ask Alice exactly or there was another one like in 17 magazine. I think it was where you wrote to try to get advice, but the advice came from one. person, it was like a magazine editor, meanwhile you know that possibly everyone could be reading about your problem in a magazine later, but they just can't respond, so this is like a modern version of that, but everyone can, yes, you. We're looking to each other for advice instead of just trusting one, actually as a kick-start because it's 2020, we don't believe in experts anymore, the mafia is always right, yeah, who is Alice?

I don't know her, but yes, there is a relationship that really advises each other. The most popular is "Is it me or something," but it basically describes a situation and asks people: Was I the idiot in this situation or is everyone else wrong? That's cool, so yeah, there are some fun subreddits that people post there anonymously. I think it's good that we are reading these stories. I mean, people post them on the Internet, presumably to receive information about them. It's your lucky day. We'll leave the names out and yes, as an internet couple, I don't. I know if that's a healthy thing or not, we're just going to give our perspective actually as people who have been in a relationship for uh, we're up, we're almost on our, we don't really have an anniversary, so to speak.

Don't go on a date, but we did. Our first date was in November eight years ago, so yes, it's almost eight now. As of this month, we will have been in a relationship for eight years together for longer than simply and illogically existed, yes and. That's a good thing, I think have you ever imagined what it would have been like to date after you became internet famous? I'm not interested without dates, I'm fine. I made a video on uh searching Tinder for a new booze slave, if you remember, yes I remember, yeah, did anyone recognize you in that video?

No I dont think so. No, people just got mad at me later, yeah, yeah, we probably wouldn't make a video like that these days anyway, let's jump. on some relationship advice tell us ben wow that's long so are they that long they're not that long but here's one that tickles me so I found out I really love frogs and two years ago I started to bring them home and rescue them. Now I have about 14 different types of frogs and I have raised them as if they were my own children. They helped me decide to be a biologist and I am currently in college pursuing that dream.

They helped me deal with it. with the loss of most of my friendships in a really bad phase of depression, as even though I didn't want to take care of myself, I still took care of my frogs at times, I felt like the only reason I was still here was to take care of. them and give them comfortable homes about six months ago I met my boyfriend and we immediately hit it off and go out every day. He expressed to me that he is not a big fan of animals and that I never pressured him about it.

Well, he decided that he wants to go somewhere else for graduate school and he has invited me to come with him and live with him under one condition: I have to rehome all but three of my frogs. I'm heartbroken because I don't want to feel like I have to do it. Choosing between the two most important things in my life. I am frustrated and feel it is unfair of them to force me to move them all. I have tried to make concessions by offering to rehome half or even pay more so we can have an extra bedroom for my frogs so I don't have to see or interact with them.

He says he doesn't like them because they're ugly, which to me is completely infuriating that he's so dismissive of something I am. I'm so passionate about it I'm not sure what I should do if I should break up with him or uh and not go or maybe I have too many frogs and if I should come home with some please help what do you think Christine has? too many frogs how many for hugs is too many that's not really the question she hey, if she kisses him, will she turn into a frog? I'm sure I guess she's already tried that.

I probably wish it were true so I know some of these posts may be trolls but I feel like she is telling the truth because she was very honest about how much they mean to her and have helped her for a long time and maybe you know that You or I don't like it very much. frogs or seeing why they're cute or you know, it can bring up illicit, cozy emotions, but I can appreciate that someone else might feel the same way about different types of animals. You could apply this to any kind of, maybe you're just passionate about cats and you have a ton of cats, yeah, or maybe your girlfriend is a little crazy and has thousands of bottles of nail polish, I mean, if you replace the frogs with cats like that, it's me, like I wrote this, but no, but it's actually a good parallel. draw because what if she hated cats and you wanted 20 of them?

Wouldn't there be a reasonable conversation about what the compromise is and that's what she was doing right, like there's a compromise somewhere because you're allergic to cats you don't hate cats but you're allergic that's why we don't have 20 because I'm not trying to kill you. I guess what I don't understand in this case is why it bothers him that she has frogs and likes them. having frogs and likes, if your partner clearly enjoys something so much and it's not harming you in any way, why would you care if you had to? Yes, the fact that she said that she even offered to pay more for an extra room for the frog so that he wouldn't have to be in the same room, like sleeping in the same room, I thought it was a very nice gesture because I could understand You know, maybe you don't want frogs like that by your side all the time.

I don't remember the last time I played with a frog, but I think they probably smell a little and maybe that bothers them and maybe when you have 14 frogs it's something you can't ignore. I don't know, it's just a guess, but the fact that she was offered another room and a place to store them and according to her, at least she's not trying to rub the frogs in his face, yeah, unlike my extra room for the frogs, yes, then I don't. I know this is complicated because they clearly mean a lot to her and there has to be some compromise that can work, but she is saying that she doesn't want to lose any of the frogs.

I guess for her, do you need that many frogs in the first place? If your partner says you can't do something, you don't need your partner's permission to do those things, except when you live together, it's your mutual home, so I. I'm just saying you see some questions like this or posts like this where often a woman will be like my boyfriend doesn't want to let me do something I just think wearing makeup needs to be said first of all. That's not how you should view a partnership like that, it's like you don't need your partner's permission to know the things you like.

I understand that this is a more reasonable type of description of an issue that they need to come to an agreement on. on something and maybe she doesn't want to live with 15 frogs maybe just three of them and that's fine, it seems like he's not upset because she loves frogs, he's just upset because she has to live with 14 of them, well, I still think it's not clear why. It's annoying, unless you're surrounded by frogs all day, I don't get it, but let's talk about your nail polish thing here because maybe there's a parallel when you started wearing nail polish, it wasn't part of a career in social networks. or something like that it's just that you had an obsession with nail polish and that's fine and I don't have to understand why you like all the things you like.

I think it's important to understand what your partner's interests are and maybe take an interest in them to some extent with you. I became interested in nail polish only because you were so interested in it. I mean, you got interested in nail polish. I became interested in the feeling that no, you just accepted. Here, you didn't start painting your nails. Today I'm only interested in nail polish. I guess what I'm saying is a way of working on a business with you or spending time with you working on something that doesn't really interest me. nail polish you can appreciate that I was personally interested in nail polish even before this whole thing was a business as I just wanted to collect all the colors, paint my nails and organize them well and you built me ​​a shelf even though I didn't You give me It's because I have so much nail polish.

In fact, you probably hated that we had hundreds of bottles taking up space, but you still accepted my passion and even helped me build it by literally building new shelves. Yes, because as a partner I want to support you. and I want you to enjoy the things that you enjoy if it were to my detriment, like let's say I hated the smell of nail polish, yeah, I might say, hey, could you open a window while you're painting your nails and just ask you to take maybe ? Some reasonable steps to not just put it in my face or enjoy your hobby in a way that makes me less comfortable, but what could we suggest here?

But that's what I don't understand, Mr. anti-frog, I understand. not wanting to come home on a long day at work and you come home and your apartment is exactly like the fact that she wants to have a little second bedroom where she has a healthy space for a small number of frogs like That's not really should be a problem. I don't really understand why that would be a problem. Are they in some type of enclosure like a frog aquarium? I don't know how you're supposed to take care of frogs. I don't know if you should have 15 frogs, even if you are passionate about frogs, do you have a problem collecting frogs at that time?

Because if someone had 15 cats, I would think that unless you ran a rescue or you had a barn, yeah, then maybe you're some kind of hoarder or something and that's a sign of something else, so I don't know, you know which one? is the advice here that I always come back to, hey, we're just seeing this from her. perspective, although we are seeing it only from your perspective and therefore we are getting signals of how they really helped your mental health, so you want to side with that, automatically, as a good normal human being, you want to side on the side of what is best. for your mental health, so that's where Eileen I feel bad for her because her boyfriend hates her frogs, but like us, we haven't heard her side and maybe 15 14 frogs croaking at him are disturbing the her mental health.

Like me, I don't know, so it's hard to look at them and give direct advice when you usually only hear it from one party. This is a room of adversarial hearings. We will need to listen to the defense. Maybe we need to ask. one of those, dear prudence, we need an expert opinion on this, okay, let's move on. This may seem like a stupid question, but I'm really worried because I don't have much experience. I've been on a date with this. girl and we had ice cream that I bought and a few weeks later she rejected me, but now that it's been so longsaying that you didn't Google them or social media, yeah.

The responsibility to do your no, sort of falls on you, so obviously this is a crazy person if they lie about it, especially if they say, I mean, just It makes it a little worse if you're also making up details. because if they are able to completely make up the scenarios that they find themselves in every day as doctors, then that is a sign that they are very good at lying, so my advice is that I think at this stage, based on what she told us He said, he would. Don't go ahead and confront him because it seems like it's her next move, like she has no idea how to confront him.

I don't think you have enough evidence to, quote, confront him and accuse him of this, like maybe your aunt or your aunt's husband just doesn't know him well, maybe it's a big hospital. I don't think that's enough evidence so far, so I wouldn't accuse him of that when maybe he's totally telling the truth and there's only one missing. piece of information yeah, the confrontation could be more like hey my name is workday, he shows up at work, I don't know, this is really weird because what's the end game for someone who lies? I think that's right if I were her.

I would like to know that she was lying and I think anyone could reasonably think from her perspective. This is not a lie that you can get away with forever. Oh, some men try. I've seen it on TV shows, only men, how did they do it? They get away with it on the TV show, well they don't get their way, it eventually catches up to them, but they like to live in a dream land where their girlfriend thinks they're doctors and they feel important and it's kind of a matter of ego because maybe it's something they couldn't achieve.

I feel like I'm having trouble imagining how you can keep up that lie for more than a couple of months. I think keeping up the lie is part of the fun for some people too, yeah. So yeah, if so, then that's one crazy person you don't want to have anything to do with, right? Yes, so investigate, don't hang out with crazy people who lie to you, or you have to confront him in this case or investigate first, confront. someone about that would be a little scary right yeah it would scare me what if he's lying and he's a psychopath and he murders you so don't confront him right away like you have to be safe?

You have to think about yourself, right? I hope you figured it out, whoever you are, okay, next one I need some advice. My husband and I have been married for two years and I love him more than anything. He's sweet and perfect in almost every way, but he has a strange habit of wearing. my socks to wash your face this is not true I am missing many individual socks from his pair I have brought him face towels so he will stop using my socks as towels but he has no interest in them he says my socks are more comfortable for your skin and do a better job of cleaning.

I've even tried buying different types of towels, some very soft, but he still only wants to wash my face with my socks. What I do? I love my husband very much. and I want to know why he is doing this and what I should do. Okay, this is not true. He is a troll. Why do you think it is false? Because he's so stupid. You know, I think it's fake. Men don't wash. faces, you know, yeah, that's right, like my skincare routine, you know, if I'm downstairs in the kitchen, I'll just use the soap to wash my hands, I thought you were going to say wash my face, I mean, for favor and maybe.

From time to time I would like to have soapy hands and maybe I would like to clean my face too. That's my version of washing my face. Great, thanks for that. I'm so glad this one is living in your beard. I don't believe it. I just think this story is too ridiculous, okay let's pretend for a second that it's true. So would it be a deal breaker for you if he started using your socks to wash my face? Yes, I would be mad because like they are my socks first of all wear your own socks maybe I really like the way your feet smell but the reason why I also think this weirdo the reason I also think this is not It's true that the husband specifically wants his socks like everyone else.

The socks are the same once you wash them like I don't understand, no, clearly there is some kind of fetish or something if this is a true story, I don't believe it if it were true, Even if they were just socks. he just buys a bunch more socks and then you won't worry, so okay, let me break this down from a practical perspective. The socks are more like a microfiber terry cloth so you can buy face towels or some towels that are terrycloth yes so they are more like beach towels so I suggest you go to bed and you take a bath further and take a look at the face towels that are made of microfiber or towel and he might be satisfied with them and that would show if it's really just the material of your socks that he prefers or if he enjoys wearing the socks smelly things that were on your feet, she didn't say anything about him having fun with it, but I'm just saying that this will prove if it's anything that it's her socks that he wants either as a power move or something like that or if it's something he likes about the fact that they're yours I'm going to wash my face with your feet are you saying you've never wiped your face with a sock before, no, maybe when you were in college you you ran out of towels and just used a sock as a towel, I mean, like I wiped my nose once because it was like you blew your nose, no. it got cleaned up quickly because I saw it on the floor, I don't know just because I had no other options at the time, but it seems like he has options, he's just choosing to wear the socks, so you know, divorce is also an option, im just kidding i think you should let him wear your socks yeah once mine are yours big deal wear his socks yeah you wear if he wears yours yeah you wear his like see how it feels when He walks into the bathroom and you're just washing your face with his socks.

I would totally do it. Okay, next, very good, next. Very fun since I discovered how good it was when I was a student. One of my favorite snacks has been cold beans eaten straight from the can with a spoon, the problem is that since I got into my relationship about a year ago I can no longer do this every time I open a can and start eating it , he berates me and tells me how disgusting he is without stopping and then he refuses to kiss me for hours because I smell like beans this makes me feel so small and insecure it's like I can't be myself and do the things I want because he dislikes this may seem trivial but I honestly don't know what to do about it.

Do I tell him it's not up to him to decide what foods I eat without seeming distant? I identify with this. Wait, who are you hanging out with which person? Him, then you're a monster, except it's you. and the food is hummus, but that's okay, maybe this will open your eyes to the fact that why should it bother you? Okay, like it's a joke for the most part, but I don't think it's gross for you to eat hummus, you only eat five tubs. in three days well, it's like her and her beans, you know, she's eating canned beans, I eat hummus in a tub, I don't care how you eat it, the important thing is how much you eat, it's not a healthy, balanced diet.

Do you have a healthy and balanced diet? That is what i want to know. Okay, so it's okay if he doesn't like her eating beans. If it's because he's worried about her diet. No, that sounds bad too. I'm not saying he's worried about her diet. diet, I'm not serious, no, no, it's legit if you're worried about your partner's health because of their eating habits, that's legit, okay, let's not overdo this. I have no serious concerns about your health. I'm just worried about filling you with three tubs of hummus and then not eating a balanced lunch, that's fine.

This is like it doesn't really matter much, but what I'm trying to say is that I do too. I think this is false, but I think the sentiment around this is true, as if there are things that one partner does that the other finds a little gross or unpleasant and they wish that person would stop doing them, maybe like the bean eater is a troll, I don't know about eating a whole can of cold beans all the time and being obsessed with it, it sounds like she's just looking for a laugh but no, but I like it if it actually just smells .

I eat beans all the time, so yeah, maybe that's a problem, but if it's again, if it's one of those things where your partner really likes something and it doesn't bother you, then why, but he It does bother him, that's what he said. I guess the question is why should it bother you? Does she really smell like beans or does she just have a strange obsession with people who eat beans? And I guess yeah, we don't know because we're just seeing her perspective. I've never had a cold can of beans, so I couldn't tell you if you've never really had a cold can of beans like Heinz, as they are, they're really sugary, they're full of sugar, I think.

I've had a cold can of Chef Boy or D in college, is it the same? No, because they are not. I mean, it's in a similar type of sweet tomato sauce, but we're literally talking like baked pines. Baked beans. I think that's what they smell good, like they smell at least metal, well, they'll make you more prone to passing gas if you eat a lot of them, so that's their problem or is this just the bread that didn't show up. this was like breath, yes, but anything you eat will make your breath smell like what you're eating, yes, I probably smell like hummus all the time, does that bother you?

Do I ever smell like hummus just when you've just eaten? and then I look at you and you have a guilty look on your face and I know you just had it right, this is your fault because you made me not want to eat hummus in front of you, so I have to like it. I have to like sneak into the bathroom and eat hummus there or go down to the basement and eat some hummus from the basement, but I know that you or I are going to the closet. I'm eating hummus in the cupboard. He's lying, okay?

It doesn't even help if I blink three times in a row on a simply logical video. I'm asking for help. Let's answer his question. How do I tell him that it's not up to him to decide what foods I eat well? It won't be something big and orchestrated the next time you eat beans and he tells you, don't eat beans, you'll say why I like beans and then if he doesn't have any reason why you shouldn't eat beans, then you keep eating your beans. , well his reason is that he doesn't want to kiss her because she smells like beans and maybe she doesn't like beans, so she won't get any of these lips, yeah, maybe just find someone who likes kissing beans, find someone. could we eat beans together, yeah omg it's okay, it's okay, I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had, he's so sweet and thoughtful, he always puts me first and, Honestly, he's a breath of fresh air compared to my past relationships, he's a chef, in fact, every time we went out to eat, he always loved

giving

me a bite of his food.

I didn't mind and I thought he was cute when we started hanging out at each other's houses, he always offered to cook for me and then he would feed me. I told him it was fine. I can feed myself, but he always insisted. He said that he loved feeding beautiful women. Now he is increasing. He wants me to do it. He wants to feed me on his lap. I told him I'm not interested in sitting on his lap and being fed. I'd rather just watch the show and eat my fries myself instead of an entire meal he made.

When I say no, he gets a little uncomfortable and I start to feel. Bad, but it's so strange how he loves to feed me all my meals. Because I know there are much stranger things out there and the intention is sweet, but I'm starting to think it might be a problem or something I don't talk about with intimates. in my relationship with my friends so I'm here it's this weird or sweet by the way this happens daily every time we're together I mean I don't know if this is real but it could be I think on the internet . like you can say that about everything, it's weird or sweet or both or both, it depends on how you perceive it, some people might like this and think it's sweet and other people would say get that out of my face, it's like you were kind of feeling pampered in a strange way, yes there is a strange dynamic to it, but I think it is totally subjective, yes, and as I know for most people it is objective, but for some people this is subjective territory, I think that I personally don't want to be fed um I'm sorry ben you're not putting what's going on it's like a plane but maybe he maybe this isn't a perversion like she's thinking and he really that's his way of showing how much he cares that's Her love language is putting food in your mouth, yes, but does she have to do it all the time, especially if she gets nothing out of it and it's really more for her gratification?

You'd think he wouldn't be so gratified if she were like that. I don't really like you feeding me all the time, you'd think he'd be fine, I don't want to do that, so good point,agree with this even though you're super simple because you bring me tea all the time super every time i ask warren to get the new merch just logical super simple super simple super just like no one knows what we're talking about im a fan just logical yes, I am a simpleton according to this definition because I bring you tea and things yes, but he is also like every good boy, I know how many other good boys you know none of them, I don't know anything, I put them all in the soup, yes, no, I like it, here There is the thing too, there is a gratification and clearly part of my love.

The language is: I like doing things for you and I enjoy taking care of you. I hope I don't do it in a childish way. feeding you baby food, but yes, it gratifies me to support you or take care of you in some context. You've been doing that all week because I've basically been a mobo, oh yeah, yeah, do you want to talk about this, Christine? You threw your back out, basically, do you want to get into something more specific than that or did I go to the physical therapist, so I have some answers, but high level.

My body was born this way. You know, I have flat feet, one leg longer than the other in general. joint pain and as a result of that my hips are unbalanced and over time although I only like strength training which is good and would be recommended or recommended by the physio sometimes if one leg is longer than the other. You can accidentally pull harder on one side and therefore the hip joints can rotate more to one side and cause strain when activated as strings of certain muscles. My physical therapist used this, she put it in the right terms, but she explained to me exactly what it was.

I was thinking and he showed me like a dumb skeleton and explained to me, so yeah, that's what happened to me and you were on the trainer, I was on the couch, I couldn't sit or stand for more than 10 20. minutes without it. the pressure increases and causes intense, sharp, stabbing pain in the lower part of my back, right on the side where my leg is longest, so I've been on the couch with a hot compress and I feel a little better now, That's why I can film this, but yeah, I couldn't film a simple video. All my holo taco stuff for the next collection is backordered because I couldn't sample it, yeah, and that's coming out real soon, so yeah.

I feel like a big piece of poop who didn't do much all week, but during that time Ben was super plain and super sad and brought me food, brought me tea, brought me soup, there was no cat in it. Although no, luckily he didn't put a cat in the soup, yes, he took me to the physiotherapist, he helped me, he put a pillow, you know where I needed it and you would do the same for me if it came through my soft kilter if we were falling apart, yeah, No, but I'm glad you feel better and, uh, not 100, but yeah, I'm not going to die, this year has been like a wake-up call for this year to happen because we are getting older, we have to take care of ourselves. better.

I think I'm getting older. Your 30s is when you know. I think about a lot of annoying health problems and things that you start to notice, like your body doesn't feel as good when you first did it. get out of bed in the morning, you know, I'm not complaining, we're still pretty young and healthy, right, but we're getting older, yeah, I just got it, we're too old for YouTube demon eyes and a leg longer than the other. Like I don't know, I don't know what's going on anymore, I think this year is cursed, yeah, yeah, yeah, so 20 and 20 recipes, we act like it's December 31st, but it's only November so this is also election week in the states good luck with that vote if you haven't already yeah and we'll be praying and the hollow taco do you want some teasing Christine you've been hiding your hands long enough in this video that will arrive very soon?

Would the teaser email have followed? Well, yes, yes, anyway, you'll know more about that soon. It's going to be a cold and freezing winter. Okay, apologies to Alex Wasabi. We were going to have it but we ran out of time. yeah, did you post a tip on the reddit forum? uh yeah, I think most of these were from him, I don't think so, yeah, what was the intro to him, it was so embarrassing, do you remember that hey, it would be, it would be what kind of guy, oh? Oh my gosh it's okay I feel like most people watching or listening to this don't know who you're talking about so it's okay people know well let's be nice on dates uh we'll all be nice to our neighbors , what is it and if Although what we want to do, it is as if it were childish talk.

I'm having a new podcast called Ben Stop and you're not going to be on it. It would? It wouldn't be right, everyone. I want to wish you a happy Taco Tuesday have a good week, everyone take a deep breath, we're going to get through this and by that I mean the rest of 2020, we'll get through it, everything will be okay guys, I'm okay, everyone. Thank you very much for seeing us, see you next Taco Tuesday, see you later, bye.