Girl Chat: 'Wife Material' and Calling Moms by Their Names

First, I was reading an article about Madame Noir and it made an interesting argument about retiring a term I'm sure we've all heard about

wife

. Now for her problem, she says it implies that a woman who possesses certain attributes, like looking good, pays. her bills and being able to cook is superior to a woman who doesn't have these traits, so she says we should eliminate the term altogether, how do you guys feel about that? I agree, I'm not trying to be a

wife

in any way. Well, I mean you have husband traits, you know, husband

material

, you have wife

material

, that I'm going to change something that they were talking about is supposedly what that's not true, men, I'll marry anything today in day, I mean, come on, do we need the relative? point the men are not there Marian nothing Marlene you that's what I'm saying it's the man husbands I know a lot of women who don't know how to cook at all it's not true this what men used to say was wife material yes certainly it's not exactly what the current version of wife material is when you say that, my point is, well, I have a stripper wife, whatever used to be a non-consideration.

I used to say that you can't turn us, yes, but in white, into a housewife, the housewife. you become a housewife, okay, I have a lot of good friends who are great women, a lot of good friends who were strippers, everyone knows that. Yes, I have you. I have good friends who are strippers, that's okay and they're cool. Women undressing is a job for them, besides wife material, what I think is describing a woman who knows how to cook, who can clean well, who looks pretty all the time and who has a baby, that's you here, is that this is a septate, why?

You think wife material depends on the husband, what are you looking for? Wife material could be that you know she's smart, she's going to be a stay-at-home mom, you know that anyway, and for another man it could be that she can do We're a power couple, she's a go-getter, she's focused in his career so neither of us I think is really negative okay guys whatever you want this is real so I'm just going to say it say it why are people so sensitive nowadays ? I see that wife material for me is a positive term. They know me as wife material.

I have never seen it. Hey, I cook, I clean, I take care of my kids. I have someone to help me with that, but I know how to take care of myself. car, you know, but it's okay because remember I'm still praying about whether I'm going to have kids or not. I don't really like cooking and cleaning, guys, I'm not my husband. Series. I make them happy in the bedroom and realign our dutch room what I'm saying I'm a stripper I want you to remove the ER YB stuff when I named all those attributes it doesn't mean they embody all those things it just means she has some of those things and why criticize someone who doesn't have them and why not someone who does when you're looking for someone I'm not trying to get married but if I'm looking for someone to date there are certain things I want In that man I'll say this.

I think I experienced the whole term wife material when I went to college. I always wanted to get married at that time when I was 17, so the kids saw that from a mile away. My nickname. my college boyfriend called me wife, that was like that was my thing, but I say all that to say some guys saw it as Oh God, I'm sorry, I don't want to, I don't want to deal with that right now, so my stuff of wife all it means is is someone the man wants to take home is someone the man wants to take seriously whatever it is to you exactly that's all I'm trying to say how we are one of the things you said : I need these three main things to marry this man, he had to love God, okay, one because I love God, you know it's very important, he had to be a family man and he had to love life like Adam is my husband, but he is my life partner, so I want to live life with him.

What are the things you did that made Freddy material? That's a good question because I've dated a lot of different guys and I thought, yeah, he's really nice, he's cool and you just enjoy him. the moment with them but Freddy what made him what made me see the future with him is his I don't know how to explain it it's a feeling that he gives me it's just that he's a good guy good soul he's a very good guy you can feel the his, so you were more in the spirit, Phyllis' spirit, like, yeah, I'm money.

I like what you tell me, none of you had a job or some kind of not only a friend can have a job. I just wanted them. being driven, yeah, okay, but ambitious, oh, I'm okay with that because I went for it from '22 to '28. Well, there are a lot of men who want that dream and who have that dream, but they're not doing anything about it. regard. I'm not saying there is no ambition, this is me, yes, someone already established. I want someone to wish that sleep invades

their

dreams. Three things that were important to me.

I did want someone who had some that were stable in whatever mm-hmm they chose to do. It's okay, stable. Yes,

girl

. I was once told the funniest thing, it's nice to have a dream, so that's what you said, but I'm going to need you to already get there and figure it out, yeah, like that, for some people, that's it, yeah, Big guys, baby. Yeah, I hate that I wanted to be a rapper for seven years. I thought: when are we going to eat it? man I definitely needed someone who was going to be a part of my family so I needed someone who would love them too yeah so I love that he loves that and compatibility for me was everything but again that's not it really something that you I can post a Craigslist like, hey, right, I want you to feel it.

Compatibility with me is all I like, you can't post an ad for, hey, I hope you look at me like I'm magical, you know what I do? I mean, oh no, I understood that and when I understood that I thought, that's what it is, yeah, because that was so sweet, okay, look at you like. I wanted someone who looked at me like I was magical, but I had never experienced that before. I'm honestly bad at '82, this is what you feel like that was the problem, I mean, yeah, he looked at me, but I look at him like I'm mad, yeah, the lyrics, everything, why don't some guys Do they look on the street as if they were?

I think I mean guys, you have to look in the mirror when you look at a woman. Some guys look at women like they think they're looking at you like you're magical, but they really look like, oh yeah, yeah, you know they look. They look at you like you're a piece of meat or they look at you like they want to, like it's weird, guys don't always look in the mirror because of that expression, it's true, well, if you don't like the term wife material, it's possible that's not how your children call you by your name yes, in a blog post by a writer named Marinka she describes how she chooses to have her children call her by her first name actually by her first initials M oh okay Marika says I don't feel that being called by my name diminishes the fact that I am the mother of my children no, I'm not no no no no no no no no no better give me the title I called my mom Darlene I even miss Darlene oh no no there isn't one hierarchy she was mom September 24, 1976 I came home from school I was feeling a certain way yes and I put down my books and I said Frances that's all I remember from that day older I can play with my mom just like when I was around nine years old , I know this is going to be very hard for you to believe, but I used to talk a lot, yeah, and my mom got tired of hearing my voice, yeah, so I was wondering if I could.

Take some time and be silent. She said we will be silent from time to time. There were some days when she didn't want to hear her name. I don't know if it's a lot, it's nothing or not, but. I'm the queen of being like mommy so one day she said she would change my name for today and I didn't respond to mommy anymore so I had no choice but to be like a good God so that's the only time . I once called my mom mom when she decided she didn't want to answer Marla much more oh wow, have you ever felt like that? oh well, Aden is actually doing it now oh, really, yeah, and there's something happening to you.

I finally know what my mom went through when we called her. You know well that I once called her by her name. Aden says like this ma ma that's me ma ma ma me Tamera said oh no you didn't, but it's just something. I don't know, there's something in me like oh no, no, no, don't call me, but there's also humor in it, like sometimes with my mom when it's out of line because my mom does things that sometimes are just crazy and yeah I have to call her, I call her by her full name Olivia Newton-John because she actually picks the mouthful of her name from a Lou Olivia Newton-John, yeah, when I walk in Legally it's Olivia Newton-John, she tried to get her days ago.

Change it to Olivia Newton-John but she only has Olivia but she prefers it so when I call her Olivia Newton-John she says you call me she loves it so when I call her that's when I can get her attention because if I say Olivia mi she doesn't answer she will say it Olivia newton-john mi for me I don't even call older people I don't know ma'am or sir because I think it's just a sign of respect and I think children should be in a place for children called people older than me, mr. lady. Mans or Haley no, your teacher, oh my teacher, yes, but that was like because they were giving me a grade, no, it suddenly comes out in me, although the lady or the miss like never ever, I mean, don't you see like a older like I see like hey Donna, yes I'm the one none of you would call your mom or dad, yes sir, yes ma'am, no we had to do it, we never got to say yes either.

Oh, did I ever say, hell yes, my mom would always think no. it's yeah, never say huh or - oh, never say what Oh Tamara, what no, I was just happy to do a job, uh, I once had a boyfriend and his mother was that strict and I didn't know it, yeah, I am. Great because I would say ma'am, but every time she spoke to me she wanted me to say ma'am and she forgot. It's okay to say ma'am. Well she would get mad and check on me, oh yeah, what are you saying? Did you know?

I've had enough, I said, look lady, I'm leaving here.