GIRL CHAT VAULT: Holding Men Accountable

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I'm ready I'm ready let's do it let's do it stop a recent video posted on the Instagram site that Hollywood unblocked caused his followers to go to war in the comments the video involves a mother leaving her little daughter here on speakerphone that her father didn't want to see her if you didn't see a look but I called them well you heard him speak for me and I told him to come look for you and he told me not right now, see why you don't want to call him mom, oh my god, what you say breaks my heart, while many sympathize with the mother's struggle, others felt that this was too adult a conversation for a child to little one had to face the ladies, what do you think?

Well, first of all, we want to state that something is happening and that there have been some comings and goings. There has been a Facebook page. that reveals the parent, so we don't want to talk about yes, we're not talking about them, we're talking about the purpose of putting a child on social media and talking about parents, so we're just using this as a tiebreaker I want to leave absolutely Of course we are not going to be ourselves as parents yet. I'm curious. Tam, we will think that it is too young an age to have this conversation with that little one.

Baby, I don't have a baby with TIA hmm, for me, I would make sure my child is old enough to understand the caliber of exactly what I'm talking about, right? You know what I mean? I would make sure they understand that reasoning. I want to answer your question. I'm not in that situation. You know it completely. I hope I never know. We got married, we have two children, but I study psychology. You know my degree in college was child development and what we learned, I can only talk about. What I know and what I learned is that children don't really understand abstract reasoning until they are 10 years old.

I don't know abstract reasoning. You know, yeah, it's like solving problems. Once this child hears this, he can do it. I understand, okay, my mom, you know, she got pregnant by a guy who did it when you were two, you don't understand, I'm sorry, all you know is that her dad doesn't love me and I wouldn't. I want my son to grow up having that complex, right? It's very sad, okay I come from a single father, you know a father too, so I understand the struggles and then it's very easy for us to sit here and judge her, we don't know her. exactly what she was going through at that moment you know what she knows how she was at that moment at the same time I also feel like we don't really know like she didn't give the father the benefit of the doubt to tell it he's okay I'm going to put the speaker on so she can listen carefully.

It was a little sneaky because she didn't know they were putting it on speaker and the baby was listening. I'm sure she would have said. It's different you know although then my mom raised me with the truth from day one your father is like that he is like that he is like that talk to him if you want this is what he is from day one because it's a difficult world and that's it As it is, I'm glad my mother didn't raise me with lies, but at the same time I understand that she is too young to know who your father is in your life.

She surely wasn't. She wasn't. It's me he wants to be in an hour yeah that's my blood I'm sure it is but did your mother ever because I grew up with a single mother so my question is do you ever remember your mother saying? something negative about your father yes, I remember that my mother spoke negatively about him, but it wasn't like that. I didn't think of it that way because she said it's because I saw it in him. I was in the same situation that my mom would call my dad put it on speaker or say I'm going to send you money and three months later I still don't have anything so she let me see with my eyes the truth of the situation so it wasn't just that you mom speaking negative, yes I grew up in the projects in the 80's during the crack era.

I can tell you this. I never heard my mother say anything bad about my dad so I think my mom surrounded me with people who wanted to be with me, who loved me, so that's all I remember growing up. In fact, I didn't really know we were poor until I actually watched TV and I feel like people live differently than us because that's how they are. It's not a big deal exactly and that's why I have to come here to my mother because of that because she never said anything bad even though there were times when she didn't eat, but yeah, it's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry for this single mother, yeah , because as a single person. mom, sometimes you feel alone, sometimes you want to use your son and you shouldn't use your son, even if you feel alone, even if he may be going through something and may have found someone else, don't put your son in this. concentrate and concentrate on your child and when you need a break he tries to get a babysitter and go out and live your life because that will help you and the child.

It is very difficult for single mothers. My mom. It's hard for you with a mom. I'm pretty sure you know something is going on between her and him, yes co-parenting is very very difficult but when you are a single mother you have to take time for yourself but also to focus on your children but you can't use that child and I don't see it in this KS, but I say that in many cases you cannot use the child to try to get to God. Sorry, go ahead, honey. We would also want to make sure that this boy has a positive male role model in their lives because we don't want that boy to grow up feeling insecure about himself, but not just mom having a negative stereotype about men in a gym bag.

You are doing that, you turned out to be amazing, amazing. I think the second problem is putting it on social media, his resentment is involved in that, yes there is something ugly, there is a trait that comes out when you post and let everyone know what you do. She is spiteful and that is not a good example for the daughter nor is it healthy for the mother to process that way for me when I see that girl's face when I see her her face looks so crushed I remember those times when I was young and when I was exposed to things that were violent within my family, my home or money problems, things where the gravity of understanding them was far beyond what I could register, what I could understand and when a girl goes to bed at night and when the lights go out. and you are left with your thoughts, it can be very scary, you don't know how to process it, so I think for a mother and for a child there are like three things that child really needs at the end of the day: to feel happy, safe and loved so everything you do that doesn't fit that's very I was taught to the ladies be careful who you have babies with yes there is a pill you can take you don't know I mean and I'm not insisting I'm just saying be careful he responds be responsible because in the long run you know a time you have a baby with someone who is 18 years old she didn't ask to be in that situation you go girl and I mean a contraceptive method pill ok a small pill is a contraceptive pill it helps you check that type of person you know it can help you regulate yourself until you figure out what you want to do because it's so easy to say I want to have a baby with one person but you know sometimes you need to think carefully so don't hang out with everyone you know take care of yourself that's why this is there because I'm for women, I am for women first, this is the perfect man and once. that baby is there, they can completely change anything, very quickly, okay, you never really know who the right person is, yeah, I have an idea, but you never know, at the end of the day, the baby was too small for this guy of conversation, as I said.

It's easy for us to sit here and judge her, we don't really know what she's been through and what she's going through. Yeah, she made a situation emergent by posting it and having the baby listen to the conversation, I think years later when she looks back, obviously. That may have been an emotional moment where you made irrational decisions just because of how you felt and I think years later, like when this kid goes to high school and that video is still there, your dad didn't love you, your dad didn't love you. loved. I want to see you it's worth it it's worth it whatever you feel good about think about it in the moment and when you make decisions wait a second and think about how this is going to affect the child it's not about you anymore it's not a baby I hate it sound old-fashioned, but that's why there are processes in a relationship, there's a courtship, you're dating, there's a Hamish, there's marriage and sometimes, and I'm just saying if those are your processes and your reasons why there are processes for you. you can discover if this is the right person for you or if this is what you want to do with your life.

It may sound old-fashioned, but there's a reason you know some people say before having a baby that they get married or that they know how to learn exactly I think sometimes, but sometimes parents get more involved when they were part of the planning process when a father says I'm excited about this woman I chose I want to have a baby with her We're planning this this is something we decided to do, we chose this versus sometimes they feel stuck sometimes it wasn't something they wanted and I think sometimes that affects the outcome keep talking about guns right, it will come up again but we just wanted to give you a little taste, but we're going to change, we're going to talk about

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There's a new European dating app called Once that's making headlines for allowing women to rate and review their date like they would a restaurant with the goal of yes, yes. is to ensure that men behave like gentlemen on dates, especially in the wake of the mea movement which now encourages women to leave constructive criticism about their date, like if he looks like his photo and has a good conversation. Oh, Amara, how would you rate your partner? last date, I don't know, that's outdated, but I do remember this horrible date and I've talked about it in the past, you know, he forced himself on me, made me pay for dinner and then asked me for gas money, but then he would do it, but I was like in high school, that was kind of bad, but she, I know, I know, but I was traumatized after that, but to be honest, I don't really like this app, you know, I feel like I don't.

I don't think it's fair I don't think it's fair just because you may have never had a good experience with this person or you want to say I've had good chemistry does that mean you should express your opinions or criticize constructive criticism yes of course there is no government , destroy this man and then I'll go there, read it and that may kill my chances with this pursuit of your opinion, you know, I don't know, okay, yeah, I've met people before. I've said it even to friends, oh she's screwed, she's rude and then you meet the person and you say she was the nicest person, there's nothing wrong with her, right?

I was a hater along with that, like you said, there will be a lot of people I've dated who are going to say they had a different experience than my husband might say. I'm like each person brings up something different, maybe maybe I'm acting crazy because you crazy people know yeah, malaria at the same time, though don't you? kids think we're adult enough to not do the full review like they expect them to be, like, does anyone here actually use Yelp? I don't know, okay? Would you love it? They were going to read carefully and there are crazy people who are like the waiter looked at me funny and you're giving the restaurant a star because that waiter had a bad day.

You know how to read and find the crazy ones and then eliminate the people who are judging enlightenment. a dish and still decide if you are going to go to the restaurant. Would you trust this application? Say you want to date a person because and use the instructions, but I would read it for fun because I want to know what key happened in your love Yelp. I never read the things that people say they understand. I only look at the photos they take. I want to see real people's photos of the device versus the professional photo they took.

Yeah, not only do I think it's cool to read what happened to others. people who would really be I would like someone to rate me on a date I want to know how others want to know what they were like on a date if you could read about yourself oh yeah I think so everywhere I like it they actually write it as just perfect no, but she came in she was this she was that or is it like a rating like stars I how many stars did I do it close to the photo did the person feel five stars how will I do it?

Only believe it if they had a mix of both positives and now of course, you know what I mean? Objective, yes, because if it was just negative, I would think that maybe someone had a personal vendetta. You know, people who are prepared don't go through enough self-analysis. esteem the internet and all these things, now you will rape me based on how you feel I am, how I should have used the web and rated Jeannie right now.