Fred Armisen Does Every North American Accent | Standup For Drummers | Netflix Is A Joke

I have traveled a lot in this country. I've been

every

where. All kinds of places, all kinds of cities, all kinds of states. And each one speaks in a different way. It's a kind of beauty. Maine... Maine, you can almost hear England there. Vermont, did you hit the T's? The T's are here, Vermont. Massachusetts... My daughter. Massachu-- My daughter got married in June. June. It's a kind of bite... It's a bite in the throat. Boston, Massachusetts. Connecticut, you have a little bit of that East Coast kind of thing... Almost New York, but not quite. Connecticut. That's my business, not yours.

Yes, it's just Connecticut. Then New York City. New York City has many

accent

s. Manhattan. Manhattan is like, you know... the Upper West Side is kind of very serious, and... I'm always afraid of a medical condition. Medical condition of the Upper West Side, and... Brooklyn. Brooklyn is a little tougher. Yeah, Brooklyn, what? Brooklyn. Brooklyn is tough, but the Bronx... The Bronx is in the lungs. That? The Bronx. Brooklyn. The Bronx. Brooklyn. Manhattan. Manhattan. Professional Manhattan. Brooklyn. Queens has...Queens. Nobody told me. Queens. Nobody told me. Why did you not tell me? Lo-- Lo-- Lo-- Long Island wastes time.

Stal... I'm going to stop. New Jersey. New Jersey starts to... It's... New Jersey is almost like a little punch. About to hit, New Jersey. I got New Jersey, and then Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. You can go there. You can go there, to Pittsburgh. And then to Baltimore. Motor oil. I always think of "motor oil." Baltimore. Motor oil. Then to Virginia. Virginia has... You kind of start to hear a little bit of a southern

accent

, but not too much. West Virginia is like... You've heard that before. And Kentucky gets a little tougher. But Kentucky... the self is near...

Kentucky. West Vir... And then, a little further, North Carolina. There's a kind of... Now, wait. North Carolina. You mentioned two pumpkins. I'm not sure... I'm just reconsidering what you said there. And then... Then South Carolina, there's a little pageantry in South Carolina. And Georgia, you start to lose the R in Georgia. Georgia, Atlanta. Florida. No...Florida. Sort of... They take two syllables and turn them into one. Flo...Florida. Florida. But Miami has a little bit of... I was born in Miami, but I still have this accent, and... But Florida, especially, I don't know why, was a baseball mitt.

Baseball glove. Alabama. 'Bama...Alabama. There's a kind of bounce in the word... The syllables, Alabama. Texas, I sort of...Dallas. Dallas, he seems the most outspoken to me, but then Houston, I feel like you're getting a little bit of a scolding. Houston. But Austin has... Austin wants to have fun. I'd like to make Austin laugh a little. Dallas. Houston. Dallas. Dallas. Oklahoma and Arkansas, and then you go to Illinois. You can start to understand that... Actually, a lot of southern Illinois still has a bit of an accent, but as you go through Indiana and Chicago, you start to get that Midwestern sound.

Chicago. Chicago. Ca...Ba...Car. Whose car? That's your car? But Wisconsin is more Chicago than Chicago, Wisconsin. This is the Minneapolis police. Minneapolis. Minnesota. Minnesota. Duluth, almost Canadian, Duluth. But Canada... Oh, Canada, huh? I know. We've heard it before, huh? Cigarettes, huh? Cigarettes. And then as you go through Montana, it starts to flatten out, Montana. I think for some reason they put a Y in their vowels. Mountain. Idaho and Seattle. Seattle is interesting because they present their words on a plate. They present... I'm from Seattle. These are the words. Portland is the same, but a little further back and a little quieter.

So, they present the words to you, but they take them back a little bit. No, no, San Francisco. I... The way I think about San Francisco is that this is a fact. This is a fact. Excuse me? No. That... This is a fact. This is... But in Southern California, as you go down, what you want to do is pronounce each part of the word. Every syllable of

every

word. Southeastern California. Arizona and then go to Mexico. Mexico, the Spanish... But the Cuban... Thank you very much. Alright.