Food Theory: The Disturbing Lore of M&Ms

hmm cannibalism week oh matthew what did you say cannibalism week go back to sleep you're having a strange dream cannibalism hello internet welcome to

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the show that melts your face not in your hands theoretical it's cannibalism week here on the three channels no, seriously, all three episodes were released within minutes of each other, all with a cannibalism theme. I have to admit it started as a joke during a production meeting and then I just said you know why not and everyone else responded because it was cannibalism but I ignored it and forced this. to continue and now we're here doing three episodes about eating members of your own species.

Tldr, anyway, I'm in a weird mental place for our second three-way collaboration on our channels after, of course, our KFC trilogy from earlier this year. I knew I had to talk about the m ms here on

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after all the walking and talking Eminem radios. Sweets have been making pranks along the lines of cannibalism for decades. Now look at my Halloween costume. What are you going to do as a cannibal? Oh, look what. I mean funny stuff, it's so funny, oh here's another classic, you don't need your own kind, it's not natural, yeah, give me that crunchy one, another page-graded cannibalism joke, marketing at its finest, m ms does it again, let's see one more. help us launch this delicious product is the newest member of our team hazelnut spread eminem spoke sweets what are you waiting for some reason I don't remember this one are you telling me they actually ate the new sweet rays you ate the new sweet spokes not all well this was in a direction i wasn't expecting like i thought mms were cannibals in a joking way, wink wink nudge nudge, like oh look at them, they're eating the sweet versions. of themselves haha, but like the commercials just come out and say it here, they definitely ate one of their own kind, I mean, I thought I'd throw in some eminems or cannibals, drop some Marshall Mathers puns, and then follow my path, but who?

Am I supposed to theorize for an entire episode about something they've been openly putting in their ads for years? I mean, the definition of cannibalism couldn't be more black and white. It's citing the practice of eating meat of one's own species and That's exactly what these sweets are doing here, it's not like different types of mm are different species, right? Now that I think about it, what parts of mm rays are actually flash, is any part of them technically meat? I mean, we talked. about this with the kool-aid man, he is the glass jug and not the juice in it, so what are eminem radio candy?

So are they real living creatures or could it be more like a Toy Story three scenario, like when Mr. Potato Head's accessories bring an inanimate omelet to life wait, let me go watch all the 3D animated m ms commercials of the last three decades, real quick, yeah, okay, yeah, wait, what's going on there? Yes, you know what a change of plans, friends, there are too many questions floating around Eminem. talks about the candy universe and it's about time someone got some answers so I'll do it I'll take the case get ready to taste justice folks because today's food theory exp

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s what mm really are and if any of them I really committed the crime of cannibalism.

Yes, this is a real video that you clicked on and you are about to watch it. Yes, this is my job and I take it very seriously, serious enough to design a three-episode crossover special event all about cannibalism. It's wrong? With me, oh, it's been such a long 10 years, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, before we continue, we need to talk about Spokescandy's anatomy, exactly which parts of Spokes Candy's body are and aren't meat. At a glance, it seems like an easy question. to answer eminem's co

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d area is delicious candy meat and then his limbs are made of some kind of tan meat without chocolate and finally his gloves and shoes are clothes and I agree that those assumptions about spokesmen anatomy had sense if you've seen certain m m commercials like the strangely racist one where a tribal eminem on an island doesn't wear shoes or gloves, there's proof right there that those items are removable clothing and then there's a whole series of ads where m m them They bite the body. that their bodies are in fact edible, but when you watch all the Eminem commercials out there, like I did, you start coming across ads that destroy everything you thought you knew about Spokescandy's anatomy like this, oh, that's such a picture Damn, I don't know who.

The strange thing is seeing an anthropomorphized candy undress, but yes, it's there giving us the unexpected truth that the candy's spoke shells are removable clothing and this is actually well established in the commercials, we see it over and over and over and over and over again. again, and okay, you get the point. This of course means that the mm aren't actually different colors, they just like to dress up in different colored outfits, their skin, so to speak, is actually the milk chocolate layer underneath that removable armor, which seems pretty reasonable given the fact that eminem The Spokes Candy refer to themselves as naked whenever they are caught without their shells.

I'm naked, I mean, I guess I'm a little surprised that all this nudity can be broadcast on network television without censorship or whatever, but I guess I can accept it. anyway, that settles all the questions we had regarding the flash, so now we can move on, holy no, oh what the heck, oh oh, what is this? Editors stop the video, we're going to have to unzip this because this is where we've been led. I think chocolate is mm skin, but in this commercial we see one that chocolate can be removed like clothing and two, what the FCC really cares about pixelating is this in this French commercial that is a continuation of their Australian one. strip poker commercial we see that the peanut is the actual naked part of m m I don't want to show it to you you know, peanut theorists, do you understand what we just discovered, aside from the yellow private parts, this is proof that chocolate with spoke candy milk is also not part of its core essence, which doesn't make sense until you look a little closer and start to see everything lined up.

We see in numerous commercials that spoke candies can feel things like heat and pain, but the thing is, they really only seem to feel. Those limb-biting sensations are constantly removed from Eminem's radio-quote bodies in these commercials, and yet, even when they're missing a big chunk of chocolate from their head or butt, they're not particularly fazed , they continue their chatter, they continue walking, they are so indifferent to any physical pain they feel or any part of their body that is missing, which leads me to believe that they are not missing a part of their body, theorists, all this evidence supports the idea that it's not just the candy shell that is edible removable clothing, the milk chocolate underneath is also edible removable clothing and this of course leads us to a bigger and potentially scary question, what do they actually look like?

These candy spoke creatures under your clothes? This maybe I promise, it's not just me trying my best to give you nightmares, we actually have a canonical vision of what the inside of Eminem's radio candies look like. Take this commercial where Orange undergoes surgery to change him from crunchy eminem to pretzel eminem. There's no way you're putting a giant pretzel inside me, listen buddy, I'm not too excited about this either and thanks to that operation we get a glimpse of what's going on inside Orange's body, human-like bones in his human-like body. . legs and a real pretzel embedded inside his shell, this of course means that when you remove all of his edible clothing and Orange's body otherwise looks like this, a series of disconnected limbs and paralyzed facial features, there are some nerve threads connecting them, considering the nerves don't show up on x-rays, but I'm not so sure spoke candy can move their freely floating eyebrows without problems, so that might apply to the rest of the parts too from your body, but what this means is that the peanut is yellow. looks a bit like this blue, the almond m m looks similar and the three milk chocolate spokes of red, brown and green are the strangest of all, so with all that established, we now move on to the question of the cannibalism, you saw what was left of the hazelnut spread candy nothing but your clothes and some stray crumbs they definitely ate it, but was it cannibalism because remember cannibalism is the practice of eating meat of one's own species and ladies And gentlemen of the jury, does the anatomy of these sweet spokes prove it? that they really are different species for this test we do not need to look beyond phylogenetics, the study of evolutionary history and the classification of different organisms, considering all the known evidence about an organism, scientists can place it within a graph that shows its evolution.

The lineage of there organisms are classified into kingdoms, genera, species, etc., based on similar traits, how does studying phylogeny in real life help us with our fictional classification? You ask well, as we saw in that previous commercial, you don't need your own kind. it's not natural yeah give me that crunchy m ms see other m m flavors as not their own species implying that they may very well be different species and phylogenetics backs this up because our sweet rays actually have plant material from the real life within them. Thanks to phylogenetics we know that almonds and peanuts come from different species of plants, just like the wheat that is used to make pretzels, the same as the hazelnut that is used to make hazelnut cream, these plants are designated as species. different in real life, therefore our mm candy spokes whose DNA literally includes the DNA of said plants, should also be considered a different species and yes, Eminem Spokes candies canonically have DNA, that would be your positive DNA test.

I think it means this about our sweet cannibals. Well, blue the almond. Eminem is clear, we know he ate the hazelnut spread candy, but since they are different species, this cannot be considered real cannibalism. The same goes for the green chocolate spread with hazelnuts and it has a color within the milk chocolate, which makes it a different species, brown, also innocent in all the commercials, not once seen eating a m m I don't live, but what about the red, yellow and orange, who are seen eating their own kind in that commercial starring cronk? They have to be guilty, right? remember that this is not their body, this is when you take off the candy shell and milk chocolate clothes, there is nothing but human limbs and facial features, which means they don't actually share common flesh with the milk chocolate candy.

Eminem, a candy made of chocolate in a when you eat a regular old m m out of a bag, these guys essentially eat the same material their clothes are made of and they eat yours, it's certainly strange, but you can't tell me it's cannibalism and you can't tell me it's unethical. otherwise I would eat my hats and in doing so create an ethical paradox in your mind, so there you have it folks, people can call Eminem radios cannibals, hell they even call themselves radio cannibals from time to time, but the fact of the matter is that they are.

No, and they shouldn't be punished for it, they should be punished for other things. Oh, indeed, guys who killed and ate the hazelnut spoke candy. I mean, just because it's not technically cannibalism doesn't mean it's not murderous. and depraved, so yeah, send them to prison, even I'm not going to defend that kind of behavior, but hey, that's just a theory, a cannibalism theory here on the cannibalism weekend theorists. I hope you enjoyed this sugar-coated cannibalism episode if you're in the mood. for more man-eating goodness, the things I said earlier about cannibalism week were no joke, we actually have all three channels doing themed episodes about cannibalism, there's one about film theory reviewing an episode I did about cannibalism from Wall-e, yes, the Pixar movie. and it's a cannibal occult story and about game theory, I have three words for you human soda cans, it's a game, it's weird and it's definitely something you'll want to see.

Both episodes are on screen right now. Make sure you click. on them, if you're not subscribed to this theoretical channel, make sure you do before you go and I'll see you all next week. Enjoy.