EVERY ZODIAC SIGN EVER

If we don't leave now, we won't be the first to get to the bar. Why are you still working? I'm almost done. How did you end the day? I didn't finish my work, huh? Every

zodiac

sign

of all time. Yo Andrew, why did you invite Kenneth? Oh! He is my friend. Yes, he is a real serial killer. Oh, I'm not going to abandon him just because he's having a hard time. You know you're on his literal death list... It's nice to know he's thinking about me. Hey, do you want something to drink, buddy? I resonate more with my rising

sign

than my moon sign.

God, I love this movie so much! Yes me too. Tilda Swinton is like an incredible actress. What is that supposed to mean? It means that Tilda Swinton is really good at being talented. Well? I see what she is like, yeah! Yes, why don't they get married then? Because clearly you two have already been fucking around! God! That?! I'm a Gemini, so I basically have split personality disorder. And I said, "Ah! You're made of insects!" My God! You're so funny! Oh thanks! I am also a great dancer. Are you! There's more where that came from. We should go dancing sometime!

Oh my God, yes! I would love that! In fact, I know a place. My God! Mickey, friend! I have to tell you the story of the insects, friend! My friend won't stop texting me, she's a Leo. So what do you want to do for your birthday this year? I was thinking I could... I want to go skating! Well, that sounds like fun... Monday. And on Tuesday you will take me out drinking. Wednesday, carriage ride through the park. On Thursday you will give me a puppy! Friday, fancy dinner! And then, over the weekend, you're taking me to Las Vegas!

That sounds expensive... But I'm worth it, right? Yes ok?! Yeah! I started dating this guy, but he is not compatible with me. He is Virgo. Okay, so you're going to paint all the mahogany red on this wall. I'll be in the next room. So if you need anything, call me. Yeah, you got it man! Wow, not now! Before you paint, though, you'll obviously want to tape this entire window down, just firmly and make sure there are no wrinkles in the tape. You want to make sure you press the tape firmly into the window sill right there, boom!

Now, make sure to roll slowly so as not to splatter the paint. Make sure you do very long strokes. This color spreads very well. It's great and make sure to use the brush by hand to get clean edges. See? This is what I'm talking about. Do you see what I'm talking about? Just there. This is what I'm talking about. You will n

ever

regret applying a second coat. Oh yeah, that's good. Alright! Man, good job Joe. Can I pay you by check? Are checks twice what cash should be? Alright. Hey, why does Libra cry all the time?

We now return to A Man Seeking a Wife. Ana. Will... ugh... No... uhm... Kayla. Do you... no, no, no... It's okay, Hannah. Will...no...God...ugh, this is hard...Kayla...uh, no...Hannah, yeah...ugh, God, ah! It's tough... Join us next Tuesday for part 7 of the finale! Man looking for wife. I heard this guy is Cancer. No no no, he's fine, he was just born in July. Hey! - Hello Nessa! - Hello Nessa! How are you? Did you end up going out last night? Because? Do I look tired or something? Hey, no, no, no. That's not what I meant.

It's too late, it's already closed. Curse! We just got her back too... See you in a week, Nessa? Two weeks? I'm sorry... I'm so sorry for your loss... Were you born in December? We must have the same personality! And that just leaves us with Jake! Now Jake, my man. You are the best at graphics I have

ever

seen. You will then be in charge of making charts and graphs with Amy's data. What do you think, guys? - Awesome! - Yeah! Alright. Now, with this division of labor, I think this group project will be quick. It's going to be easy and it will be, A+ Thanks Clark!

Morons and fools,

every

last one of them, why could I do this whole damn group project myself. If only they didn't force me to work with them. Because with two of me I could take over this whole damn school. -Hey, are you saying something man? - Nah, man, I can't wait to see those graphs. You're going to kill him. Oh yeah. - You're so kind, Clark! Imbeciles and fools, each and

every

one of them. I am Capricorn. *imitates goat sounds* *imitates goat sounds* And then little Mason walked up to the blackboard and corrected all the teachers' math.

My God, what a smart boy! I know right? That didn't happen. Excuse me? Oh I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that. Either it didn't happen or his parents' overvaluation is making him think that his five-year-old son is smarter than the teacher, or it happened and our public school system is failing much worse than we thought. Either way, I wouldn't brag about it. Good! I think we should all get back to work. I'm not a narcissist, I'm an Aquarius. So, Sarabeth, how are you feeling today? - Well, I... - You can speak freely, this is a safe space.

How are you? Are you OK? No one has ever asked me how I feel... - Uh, do you mind if I do? - Yeah! - Excellent! Thank you. Well, it's been hard since Angie left, but you know, I know I was never really happy in the relationship. No-no, the stars want me to act this way. Well, I guess it's up to me to take out the trash again. - You don't have to do that Cory. I'll bring it to you... - Oh, no, no, no, you guys keep socializing your media. - I'm the garbage boy. I'll take out the trash. - You really don't have to take out the trash, I can... - Poor Cory, the garbage man always takes out all the trash. - There's almost nothing there...

Oh, and I don't have my keys. So I'll probably be left out, but that's okay. That's something that happens when you're the garbage boy. I'm going to sleep next to the dumpsters, so don't worry. BOOOY TRASH! - I'm so excited! - Yes... yes... I'm also a great dancer. Yes, thanks. We should go dancing sometime! My God, Rebecca! Motherfucker! Why with four of me? - I could have three of me to marry the three most attractive teachers, and one to make fun of the principal before me... - Hey, you say something, man? - No, friend, I'm fine.

I'm breaking down over those graphics, man. - You're so kind, Clark! He will be the first to be killed. I've been coming here since my parents died in a fire. You really helped me a lot. - Thank you, it's amazing! -- Not your parents dying in the fire -- - I think I'm in love with you... That's a lot. - He's just looking at us. I don't think he... I don't even think he's going to take out the trash... - I got it. - He's still there. - I'm the garbage boy. - Sure, you're the garbage boy.