Every Episode From Happily Divorced Season 1 | Vol.1 | Happily Divorced | Banijay Comedy

overwhelmed with the arrival of Mother's Day, no problem honey, we can do whatever you want. Father's Day oh no wait we can't because you already ordered daddy's Dodger tickets, you know you have to do it months in advance so you don't get them months in advance, you thought about your dad, isn't he so sweet? back Hello mom Hello honey, did you know where we won't go on Mother's Day? We're not going to the Ritz. Come on, we've been taking Dory there since we got married. After 18 years, we decided to dine elsewhere. Did you do it now?

How was the dog park? It was fun? Hell yeah, thanks to this, cute guys actually talk to me. Is it a bunny? Is it a bear? Is he an Ewok? Yes, you were the one who wants another cookie oh no, no, honey, she's so fat. Now I can't even walk, come to mom, what was that? I don't know, you're not holding her right, you're hurting her, come here, mom loves her, why is she growling at me? Maybe she's disappointed that we're not going to the Well, she was sure he was the one, but her union always seemed a little forced.

She got married anyway. Turns out he was gay. They are still in love, but now she is

happily

divorced

. Oh baby, what would you say if I told you? She had a coupon for a free T spray that is valid until 4:00 today. I'd say I'd leave right now, except I miss what you're trying to hide from me, I'm not trying to hide anything, it's okay, I have to know why. Esther hates me so my high school girlfriend who is Now a pet psychic is coming and he's not stupid a pet psychic wait you're spending money on a healer to read a dog's mind come on Fran I'm wearing sunglasses sun united with Band-Aids Peter I can't live in this house with two things that no longer want to lick me well, you know, I can also read dogs' minds, what do you say?

Esther food poop food poop food poop poop poop eh, that will be 300 dollars enough hello look who's here, it's great, oh it's great to see you, it's been too long, hey, do you remember Peter from The Wedding? No, he wasn't invited, oh yes, well, excellent salad, fish or meat, he chose meat now that we are

divorced

, you are all calm, so where is the dog? Shouldn't they know that's really funny? You're a funny guy, feel free to tell all the jokes you want. because the clock started when I walked in bye bye this is the patient and that's the problem look why she hates me why you hate me well let's see if we can figure it out okay there you go hello angel babe hello really oh I hear you Uh huh, Uh-huh, what you said about me, Katie, did you call her fat?

It was just because I thought he would be healthier and I thought if he lost a little weight he would look better. Well she knew exactly what you meant and so did I when you told me in 8th grade, well here you go and by the way, if Esther says I borrowed FR Jimmy's chews and spilled red wine on them, that's it a damn liar. Now she's said something nice about me, like when I bought her that new coat oh she hates it, she hates it, she was so excited she was running in circles when I brought her home, yeah that's because she needed her anal gland expressed and she's not crazy about the way you keep pushing that either. pill in her throat that's for her hips it's for your own good Missy she doesn't know Fran is a dog oh she doesn't know that but I buy her a coat and suddenly she's Joan Rivers in Fashion Police she says she loves going to the park with Peter.

They have a lot in common, like chasing bulls. She thought it was funny. Listen, you shouldn't worry because many girls love their dads more. It's normal, oh, just like you, that's not true. Judy, oh come on buddy, you forgot about Mother's Day, but you remember Father's Day two months before, how do you even know who you think your mom calls when she's worried about Newman getting crumbs, you Did you forget about Mother's Day? Do you know how lucky you are to even have a mother? I mean, what I wouldn't give to have one more day with mine.

You know, just walking with her, smelling her ganina, holding her hand and telling her how much I love her. I miss her, I didn't want to forget, yes, but you didn't forget Father's Day, I know, honey? I know what she says right, she said and I agreed with her, how do you expect me to treat you differently? when she sees the way you treat your own mother, she's right, I'm sorry Esther, I'm a terrible daughter, no you're not a terrible daughter, you just ripped your mother's kishkas off, whatever they are. Wow, aren't you looking? beautiful, oh thank you, what are you dressed for?

You know, I found a way to let my mother know how much I love her. I'm going to spend more time with her, like today. I'm going to take her shopping for a dress for Aela. Sho's daughter's wedding, no, I'm taking your mom shopping for a dress for Estelle Shapiro's daughter's wedding and then we're going to go have popovers at Neeman's. No, you won't do it today. You will stay at home and it was the game of lers with dad, but not me. I don't know anything about basketball and come on, why did I go out anyway so I can shop openly and buy popovers, baby, baby, doll?

I plan my entire day around those popovers, well, I plan my entire life around a man who likes vaginas. not

every

one understands what we want hello guys so who is ready to see Kobe take it hard to the hole? say what's best for you listen, we have a little change of plans dad, you're going to stay here and watch the Lego game with pety and I'm going shopping with mom oh oh, come on, it'll be fun, yeah, hey, I love Pete, but this is an important game and he doesn't know from sports if it's going to be very annoying and stuff, yeah.

I'm going to be very annoying and stuff and honey, you always rush me. I'm not going to show up on something that I bought one, two, three just because someone had to get Chipotle. It took seven stores, but you're right, Mom. $4 cheaper here, what did I tell you you did? And you know what the best part is: we get to spend more time together and we haven't even started on the shoes, bags and hoses, yes, we are having fun. t us mother daughter fun anything goes really yes anything sure because I just saw something I would love to see you in oh well where is it?

I'll wear it tada, very funny, mom put it on. I don't want to apologize. I would like to see this dress, how can I help? Hey, look how it is, you work here too. Yeah, well, you know, how's the economy. I took a job here as a floater. Do you know what they got me at the Mac counter? do makeovers, I'm not going to lie, it's not a perfect fit, oh mom, do you remember Katie O'Grady from high school, of course, oh my gosh, you know I sat with her family in all the school productions, you brother was the heaviest I have ever seen?

That was me, listen, I just want to let you know how nice it is to see a mother and daughter spending quality time. Oh, isn't it wonderful? We were going to go to the bridal salon, but something tells me it's by appointment only, no. I can take you there, oh, you know, Mom, we both know I'm never going to wear that dress and it's so complicated getting dressed and undressed. Would you really mind if I don't try it on and now one with the bride's mother, you know, my dad always watches these games with my brother, he never took the time to explain it to me, of course it's mutual.

I'm sure my brother was jealous because mom never taught him how to buff B you. Think this is fun, you'll love football, it's a real man, the sport, guys knock each other down and do

every

thing they can to get to the end zone. What channel is that on? Yeah, oh REO, ha, hello, hello, Glenn, you want my bread and cheese, are you kidding me? I have to fight with Franny about this. I love having a gay son. Hey, where did all the boys go? What about the dancers? Half of the intermission. Didn't Frany say you had to give the dog a pill?

Oh yes, Esther Esther. I don't see her where the hell the dog can be she can barely move I don't know sir come here girl she let the door open. Can I take off this dress? She's already starting to cut off my circulation. It's supposed to be a little tight gives the bride inspiration to lose before the wedding no wedding no groom I'm all alone okay with that attitude no wonder ma'am these complimentary champagnes and truffles oh aren't you a doll cat? I know, can you believe it? This I have to float here more often, you know, now they can't yell at me for drinking at work.

I could use one of those truffles, Katie, oh seriously, when she took us both into that, give me the tray. oh oh god mom, I told you I'm not a size six, angel, it's a size nine, listen, do you know what happens if we break it? We will buy it. I don't have an extra $1,500, honey, it's my pleasure to buy it for you. With the money Dad and I saved for our grandson's bomb mitzvah, oh God, how sweet, sweet, can't you hear the dick? You know you can say a fitu is bipolar, but you can't say when a Jewish mother was giving you STDs, what did she do to you?

I mean, I just offered you a $1,500 dress you'll never wear with money your dad and I sweated to save for a grandchild we'll never have. having fun oh I really personally can't understand why you insisted we do this you know what mom I can't either well that's really nice the day before Mother's Day oh do you see what he just said how he turns it around makes it look like There's the one that got his feelings hurt, amazing mom, you know, I tried to have fun with you today but it's not possible. Wow, I'm a 46 year old woman and I'm standing here remembering when she was a little girl trying on for prom. chest, do you know what she told me before my graduation party?

Do you really need that cookie or do you now want to be invited to the prom? Well, I ate the cookie mom and guess what Mark still invited me, huh? because Mark's mother owed me a debt. a favor wow, I don't understand how far he could go, I mean, he collapses on the way to the mailbox, now Pete, let's get our story straight, you left the door open, you let the dog out, no, no, no, no, you left the door. open up come on I already like boys she's my girl she admires me I'll give you money Glen please it's going to be easier for you you're going to die first I'm going to have to hear about this for decades Okay, the worries are over, look what that I found in the pound, this is what's wrong with you, this is not Esther, yes, but this is better, do things, sit down.

Could you keep searching? Grab this one, maybe I need a bounce dog. Shit, Pete, our wife's home, oh, oh, well look who's back, the game just ended, nothing bad happened, why don't you girls relax, enjoy yourself and Glenn and I will go out and find a game to flirt, yes, what is a game to flirt, a dog? Would it kill you to serve a shot of tequila to the woman who went through 22 hours of labor without an epidural? Does the woman who brings him every 22 hours want some time? Yes, please, you know, mom. I'd rather stay home eating pizza with dad. on the night of my high school graduation than to call the mother of a 14 year old jigal O to force him to take me and I would do it again tomorrow instead of listening to my daughter cry because no one asked her, you heard me. crying honey we share a wall I heard everything that happened in your room and I in yours yes I'm sorry I never wanted you to know what I did for 30 years I carried this inside me and when I heard those words coming out of my mouth I wanted to shoot myself It's okay mom I still love you and I promise you that I will never forget Mother's Day reservations again and you know what honey could try not to always be the same saying things for your own good Fran, what you are not going to share with your mother So where is my little girl?

You look so beautiful, oh, and I love you very much, but I gave Esther pizza, oh, okay, come to mom, tomorrow you will start your diet. Shut up sometimes a mother has to do things that you won't understand right but yes honey you know it's a dog not a grandson I would like to raise a toast to the best mom in the world happy mother's day I love you Ma oh honey, me too I love you Cheers Greetings Happy Mother's Day ma oh thank you honey Pete sck is on booah now what kind of costumes do they have I mean look at this, my three daughters are like Charlie's Angels.

I love you Dory, thank you for being my West. The coast mom represents my dear mother to the baby and Dory, thank you for including me. It's been a long time since I celebrated this day. Thanks for giving me a reason to do it. Oh honey, you're my new daughter and I can tell you the highlights you put up. Your hair is very flattering. He had no reflexes. If you are welcome to the family, sister. Well, this has been great, but you're not my only table. Bring bread. Okay, uhoh.