Dysfunction to Dynasty - Ch. 4: Al & Lisa Robertson: IS OUR MARRIAGE OVER?

Like my parents before me, a low point was reached where my wife and I had the question: Is our

marriage

over? I'm Al Robertson, the first-born son, this is my wife Lisa and this is our chapter and our journey from

dysfunction

to

dynasty

, so the worst part about your wife cheating on you is that you think you're going crazy. There is something inside you that you know is not right but you can't understand it. The first thing you notice are the time lapses. You know where you were. I was literally going crazy, but then I found this person's name on her bag and I thought, I mean, why is this here?

Then I broke down, I just thought, well, you know what you are, you're critical, you're the problem. I'm making these accusations because your wife, I mean, obviously, if she was doing this, she would have told us that she was told the truth. Another voice says: how can you preach and teach when you have this happening in your own home? it became my problem, just this constant judgment that goes on inside my head and sometimes you're the prosecutor, sometimes you're the defender, it's been 14 months of this and it keeps coming back to there's no truth, so I didn't really have any answers. .

For all the voices, I had a friend who worked in the cell phone business, so we dug into the phone records, all of a sudden it's like, wow! Now I know because I tracked down the numbers, for sure, the same guy that was in the bag all those months ago here's her number. I have the truth. We were at our popular hangout here in West Monroe, which was McDonald's back in the day. One day I will see this really very cute guy, since he knew everyone. I knew he had to be new. I approached his car and it was the first time I noticed her and I thought, "wow, this girl in peasant language, oh, it means you felt bad." I leaned toward the window and started a conversation that eventually led to a date as a girl.

I had a lot of things going on in my life and you know, I thought this is fresh and new, he doesn't know anything about it and this is my knight in shining armor. We went to a football game, so it was all on a Friday night. This time I'm silent, you know, and she feels that radiating through me and she knew something was different, so we came home, put our girls to bed and then bam, he says, I know what's going on, I know what's going on. me too. I need you to tell me, this starts at nine or ten at night, so it's two or three in the morning and I keep going like this, right, right, right, and then she starts to break down and says yes I tell you the truth, you're going to leave me, it'll be over and finally she said it, yeah, I've been having an affair and then after that, my initial moment when she said the words and this sounds crazy to me now was relief and I was like, it's Well, I don't want you here, I don't want you in this house, I still want you in the child's life, uh, I'm not going to make any hard decisions about anything tonight, but just know that I don't want you here. and then she left, I'm just saying I'm not going to do anything, I mean what are you talking about?

He proceeds to tell me that I have the phone records and I need you to be honest and tell me that he hadn't been honest for a long time since then. I was a little kid and for me, to be totally honest, I had to give up a part of myself because I was admitting that I wasn't who everyone thought I was. I said if I tell you this you'll never have anything to do with me you're going to ask me to leave you're going to get a divorce and he said if you're not honest with me I'm going to get a divorce anyway and so I told him it's all true it's probably a lot worse than you think and then he said: okay, that's it, I need you to go.

It was as if I knew that God had been prompting me to tell the truth. Why would I be proud to tell the truth if I'm losing everything I understood at that moment? that she had no relationship with god that she didn't know who god was alan would have nothing to do with me he wouldn't talk to me i can forgive her it's possible at first i didn't even want to think about it i was working on duck commander for the

robertson

family and of course At that moment they fired me. I don't have a job anymore.

You have people talking in each ear. The Robertsons didn't want Alan to reconcile with me, they didn't feel it. like i could change in one ear some people say you guys made a mistake there was too much baggage alan was the golden boy and i hurt him tremendously and the other year he was a couple that happened why don't you talk to them and i wasn't really interested, I would see what happens when a partner says I forgive you and didn't mean it, that was all a precursor to the next time there was a problem, it just turns into the mess I started.

I went to counseling and then I came to this crossroads and was able to be honest. Okay, if I say the words, how do I mean it? I finally realized that every time I married Alan, I would have done anything to marry him and he practically. He became my god every time I married him, so I had a very deep conversation with the almighty. In that moment I dethroned him and put the true lord of my life in the position he needed. I said to him, will you reveal to me any hint of any falsehood, if he ever goes down this path again, would you reveal it to me, if you can assure me that will happen.

I feel like I can extend forgiveness and mean it. Finally, for the first time in my life, Jesus Christ was Lord of me. life now I was an honest person and I had never been honest before and then I told her the words I said the words I said I forgive you and I love you and we want to spend the rest of our lives doing what we missed and of course she said I'm sorry a lot of what i put you through and um that's all i know that's why it will be it will be a journey it will be difficult but we can do this there was a time in my life that I didn't even know I would have daughters and granddaughters.

I could never have seen myself as a wife, as a mother, as a grandmother. Our lives are very different because we choose to fight through our

marriage

and fight for our marriage. The relationship with Jesus Christ has helped us realize that through doubt, through fear, through worry, through pain, through difficulty, through brokenness, that you can be renewed even in our bad marriage, anything is possible through of Jesus Christ. My name is Al Robertson. My name is Lisa Robertson and I. I am the second and I am the second you