Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Skull Vodka - JonTron

When I was a kid, you just watch from God, you know, watching someone else play video games is like going, it's the ghost of late night TV, you don't know how long that thing has been dead, why have you come, your appearance is easy to complain? I lost relevance. I'm excited to see just anyone else except Oh, somehow Spectre, they gave you the trending tab. What more do you want when Prince Harry and Megan Markos' wedding was on Saturday? Looks like I'll have to bring the big guns this time. Okay, who am I going to call Bill Murray?

Two, he probably won't answer Ernie Hudson. He would, but I don't think he would have forgiven me for farting in the pudding at his Bar Mitzvah. Harold Ramos definitely won't answer and that only leaves Dan. Aykroyd no, I can't call Dan. I can't, there has to be some of Buster's girls. I can call right now. Daniel did it. Dan, you have to help me hurry up and don't forget your proton pack, what, what, what. you said

crystal

skull

you're talking about Dan

vodka

vodka

okay that's good see you soon okay ghosts I'm going out for a drink with Dan I'll see you when I see you but if you're a video game player who likes me and while I haven't turned around ectoplasmic Oh, motherfucker, so Dan Akroyd has apparently retired from the comedy world to bring you none other than, you guessed it, vodka, Crystal Head vodka, to be specific, you may have seen the stuff at the liquor store before and It's just not known that it came from Blues' brother turned distiller, that's a strange name, nothing to do with anything.

Just thought I'd mention that actually the spod because it's been out for quite a while, over a decade, it's been around since 2008, this is real, okay. Take it from the website. The glass head bottle was designed with a pure spirit in mind. Dan Aykroyd and John Alexander wanted to create a container worthy of one of the purest vodkas in the world. A symbol of life that reflects power and enlightenment. Vodkas have been a path to enlightenment. Clearly I've been drinking the wrong vodka. Crystal Head contains no additives, no glycerol, citrus oils or sugars, thank goodness nothing is added to enhance or mask the flavor guys.

I don't know if they've been around vodka much, but I haven't. I'm sure there's a lot you can do to mask its taste. Well, the taste is somewhere between antiseptic and poisonous. Crystal Head Vodka would like to geolocate you. you give your consent. Listen when you ask like that. Absolutely no, no, I don't listen. Most websites just ask you. if they can know your location, which as creepy as it is, it's not as creepy as that, it doesn't imply that a spaceship from area 51 will be sent to my location if I press "yes", but anyway this vodka is very special mainly because Dan Aykroyd is 100% crazy, but I'll let him speak for him, ladies and gentlemen.

I would like you to enjoy Dan Aykroyd, he is the

crystal

-headed vodka. I am Dan Aykroyd since childhood. I have been fascinated with the invisible world. A world that could help us get through life if we know how to harness the power of it. A world that offers positive projections in which you can use your own mental and spiritual abilities to believe and subsequently make the things you want to happen for yourself and also to heal. miracles, the presences of spirits and beings that once lived and have now gone to another life, but continue to invade our waking consciousness, supporting the premise that ghosts, UFOs of their occupants, and other non-worldly presences exist, will stop you , you suffocated me until now.

But what is this? Did you bring a 15 kilobyte JPEG, a clearly fake ghost from Google Images for your national reveal trailer for your vodka? That's what you're going to use, and honestly, I'm surprised there are a lot of photographic and audio materials. conventional and digital and also some traces of physical evidence. Yes, in fact, there is a lot of evidence, as you can see, we are using documentary evidence here on the screen. All of the above are real elements of our existence. More than half of the world believes in such a phenomenon. Yes. I'm going to need some citation, there might be a couple of peer reviewed studies you can send me across half the world, what's that like 4.2 billion people?

No, I don't even think that three of the people watching this 240p video believing in this phenomenon and, for example, tormenting people or places, indicate a supra form of reality as valid as our normal reality, well, don't think twice. times, a rather convincing enhanced image, real supernaturals, after all, we have had nothing. to touch so far this is an accurate glass reproduction of a human

skull

the first question that comes to mind and I want to ask is why was it designed by my friend the renowned American portrait and landscape painter John Alexander, who is really great, that guy sounds really sick.

I still want to know why he made a skull and why it is accurate and also why that matters. It has been built to our exacting specifications after over two years of development. It's a glass skull. I'm pretty sure you can get them at Walmart. On Halloween you charlatans dare to call this a skull. My specifications were demanding. I'm telling you, demanding. I don't remember asking the Goonies for laziness. We're sorry, sir. Aykroyd, but this is what your Nana's skull looks like. Silence according to Bruni. No one has ever attempted to make a bottle of such quality and complexity as the one I have in my hand.

The obvious question is why did we do this? Yes and, in fact, you did. is the question of the moment John and I have always been avid researchers on the subject of the legendary 13 crystal heads that have been unearthed in numerous places and at different times on our planet, of course, I should have known I was doing this because I wanted to do something based on crystal skulls now I'm pretty sure you know what crystal skulls are, after all they were in the Indiana Jones movie, but in case you don't know, crystal skulls are a human skull carved in hard stone made of transparent. or milky white quartz that their supposed seekers claim are pre-Columbian Mesoamerican artifacts, so you know that can only mean one thing, the aliens are now pretty sure they are just crystal skulls, but there are also seven heads that are known to be They are in varying custodianships of humanity. from the Yucatan Peninsula in Central America, the British Museum piece and one currently belonging to a woman in the southwest who claims he eventually had to put it away in a closet after he or she started talking to her.

Yes of course the British Museum, the Louvre and Maria's Closet in Plano Texas currently resides among the dirty laundry and wrapping paper from last Christmas just so everyone knows, let's break it down here, we are dealing with a man who believes in almost everything that probably doesn't exist, you know, ghosts. ectoplasm gnome aliens you could have easily been drinking from a small crystal in gnome right now if the face of the line is a supernatural slot machine with dan

aykroyd

did this man really believe he was fighting real ghosts in the ghostbusters in which do you think it was? a documentary was Coneheads a documentary is that something equally fascinating is that, according to physicists and jewelers, these heads should not exist, but should have been broken in the process of making them, in fact, the Navajos believe that they were going to bring the Navajos to this.

I guarantee that everything you believe makes ten times more sense than whatever it is. Hopefully, this acceptance will lead to a less violent and more harmonious world as we respect the acceptance that there is more to life than mere material reality. On that note, buy my vodka available at these retailers in your local metropolitan area now what to put in a bottle loaded with such symbology and iconographic value vodka four minutes and 56 seconds, that's four minutes and 56 seconds it took this man to say the word vodka in this vodka commercial to tell you how we do this.

I'm going to hand you over now to my friend Phil Power from the Newfoundland Liquor Corporation where we make Crystal Head Vodka. Listen, I don't know this man. I do not represent American vodka. All I know is that he is born one day. Here he just likes this. I did it to show you if there is no way for him to get out of this contact. My son Thomas and his own networks know a lot more about computers than I do. I really need a way out of this. We chose Newfoundland because of the purity of its land and water.

Newfoundland is known in Canada as the rock and for good reason, oh yeah you get it, he looks like Dwayne Johnson. It's so far east that it's in its own time zone. It is located off the coast. of Canada, about a thousand miles east of New York, therefore far from most forms of pollution, hey, what the hell are you trying to say about my city? New York is a beautiful culturally rich metropolis, you just have to have eyes to see, hey. I know what I believe. I'll go for a quiet walk right now. This is my home?

Simply beautiful. I love it. It is wrong to hear what is happening there. A kind of urban bird feeder. Two guys with Minecraft. He didn't see that beauty. It seems a little hello, how do I get home? Oh, that's not good, man, something to my guts, are you stupid hipster? I tried, I tried, I did, do you understand? I tried to make it look natural. I can't go back out, here's Phil. To tell you more, to make crystal head vodka we use the purest alcohol available, it's not double distilled, it's not triple distilled, it's quadruple distilled, squared and cubed, that's too much distillation, guys, what are you crazy?

Do you think the world is ready for this? We just received I Used to Pop Punk just when we thought we couldn't make Krystal Head Vodka any purer. Dan came up with a suggestion and proposed filtering it through diamonds. I turned to him and said, Dan, what did you just tell me right now? Out of my sight, out of my sight, we'll travel we'll filter the vodka through half a billion year old diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, I swear, I've seen this in the store and it was like 50 bucks, let me check, yeah, It only costs 49.99. 40 - 99 - What do you mean they filter this through diamonds?

Well, come on, if we're looking for that absolute purity, their diamonds are really the most valuable thing you can think of. I'd better buy you one. Okay, Dan, could you remind me what it is? your net worth again oh yeah it's a hundred and thirty five million dollars just filter it man you're worth more than your weight in diamonds literally and I'll prove it so the average person weighs about 62 kilograms but Dan is the only one. But an average person weighs a good, healthy 100 13 kilograms. Now diamonds are made of pure carbon and we know that the composition of the human body is approximately eighteen point five percent carbon.

There are 1000 grams per kilogram and there are five carats in it. gram, so run the numbers and Danny Boy, you'll get a whopping one hundred four thousand five hundred twenty five Paris. Now, if you look up the current rates for diamonds, you will find that the 1/4 carat diamond is the cheapest. for about two hundred and seventy-five dollars, but of course we are dealing in carats, so we have to multiply it by four and we get four hundred and eighteen thousand one hundred and forty carats. Take those Porter carats x their price is $275. and you come to our real Portland diamonds, which cost 114 million nine hundred and seventy-seven thousand five hundred dollars.

Damn you're expensive yeah they're actually one of them as you can see it's a lot bigger and the process isn't. Be that hard, I'm telling you, it just drips through you, don't worry, it's easy, I'll just show you, you just have to find the hole there, she's beautiful, just hold on tight, big man, don't lift. one finger just relax now I'm lying yeah handcuffs are absolutely part of it when buying purities yeah wow I see it dripping. God's Pierce is too pure to make crystal vodka. We drink this water which is 500 million year old crystals known as.

Herkimer diamonds, so wait a minute. They use a five-million-year-old diamond called the Herkimer diamond. It's a Herkimer diamond. I had never heard of that before. Herkimer diamonds are not actually diamonds, but rather our double terminated quartz crystals. I'm sure they are. I'm familiar with that, if my quartz is single ended, I'm out of here, be prepared to be double terminated, no one can explain why, but people who have tried it: vodka have noticed a difference, no one can explain why. what, uh, we're sure people will enjoy it. Crystal Head, Herkimer Diamond Triple Filter, Pure Spirit Vodka from the Deep Newfoundland Aquifer, Perfect for Solo Drinking, Whether you want to explore and discuss the mystical implications of your life on this incredible plane of existence or not, the truth is that this is a luxury vodka in a fresh environment. bottle, you went through all that, you said all that nonsense, you recited all that complex or so beautiful and then two seconds to go, he describes it as a cool bottle, cool, thank you, like thatI would normally end this video here, but unfortunately I don't.

In the end, this is a man who really wanted to sell vodka, so at some point Dan appeared on national television trying to sell his product and you know they invited him because they think they will sit down and talk to him. Ghostbuster a little, you know you're going to laugh a couple of times with a cone on your body and work, buddy, how did you get so smart? I surround myself with people who have much more knowledge than me in these things, said the bottle. we what to put in their products they have glyceride true, it is a cousin of glycol glycol is a cousin of glyceride and glycol as antifreeze glycol and unrefined sugar we take them from the bar a great seller now the difficult thing to sell this is a little expensive This is what's worth 50 dollars worth of bottles suitable for Mr.

Ackroyd the new businessvodka in his crystal head brands of vodka, from laughter to liquor, that's what they'll use, that's usually not a good thing, why do you want to go into vodka if it is owned by so many dominant brands and what we have here is a luxury premium? spirit that has no additives, this is the exact moment the host starts to realize, oh dear, I think a lot of lesser vodkas add glycol, which is antifreeze, they add caustic bug extermination and they also add sugar chemicals, insect poison and sugar, no one asked you if there was glycol. or citrus or that's what people worry about when you mention it when there are a lot of lesser vodkas if you open them they smell like Chanel number five thank you open a vodka it smells like Chanel number five it's Chanel number five right? a perfume I never thought that a vodka smells what kind of can you drink Danny it's not exactly original many celebrities have launched alcohol brands some of your colleagues here what's okay I didn't find out those are real these are real mud caused by celebrities Pharrell has cream , vodka-based cream liqueur, looks like an onion.

Willie Nelson has old whiskey, river bourbon and of course pain, you know, with the limoncello, who could forget her? Remember? I probably let it go down the Nile thinking it was fucking juice, I mean, that's the best, damn. if you can't think of limoncello, I mean directly, if Danny DeVito made a liquor with his head as a bottle, I'm there every time, every time, I won't drink anything extraordinary, Beijing, right now, continue with Larry. King, it's pretty amazing and our feature at the special dinners dan Aykroyd, okay, tell me about the Hat, now who came up with the skull on it.

My daughter tried to explain it to me. I still don't understand this. Do you like it. This is clean vodka. Does not have. Glycol, good luck, look at the look in Larry King's eyes, which is an actual double tape captured on Larry King's camera, as soon as Dan mentions glycol he says, "I should have not had glycol, what is glycol?" glycol? My lord, vodkas have antifreeze." glycol and they put it in there for smoothness look, he waited, he waited, it was like he waited for Dan to go first, he's a smart man, that Larry King, now I know why I survived for so long, very nice, yeah, there's nothing , oh boy, beginning of the ruin I'm dying I'm dying dad you've killed me it's over I wish you put glycol in this because I could feel my bones melting so we just won in Moscow we won the double gold medal for the taste of over 400 others Vodkas for an excellent case, if Russians don't know superior vodka, what do they know?

Sputnik nuclear weapons if we were participating in a new contest and won there, that is a good nuclear bomb, apparently it won in Russia, but you can't buy it anywhere in Moscow. It's not on the site maybe those Russians were just being polite Regards, thank you Oh, I went to the second round, I respect a right. Larry King dares to go where no television host has dared to go before. I think at the end of the day, Larry King was just happy to get out of there without telling Dan Aykroyd. The vodka tastes like it, but it's actually pretty good.

Oh my god, could I not have seen that before? How could I have been so careless and stupid now that I look at it from this perspective? I think I'm starting to see the truth New York, Los Angeles, London, oh my God, those crystal skulls everywhere, how could we have been so blind? However, there aren't any in Moscow, where you said you won the prize, but hey, they're Russian, who cares? The conspiracy deepens. I can't find a single Crystal Skull in all of South America right now Caracas Bogotá San Salvador Belize City you know where this is all supposed to be from in the first place cool geez there's the hidden Crystal Skull and all of South America located within a radius of 100 kilometers from Rio de Janeiro.

I finally found out it's true. Do you own Crystal Skull Vodka? Thank you all so much for watching this video and I hope it helps bring out the Crystal Skull that I know. It is deep inside each and every one of you. I just want to say a huge thank you to the amazing people at Honey for sponsoring this video and helping make it a possibility. If you don't know what Honey is, it's free. browser extension that automatically finds the best promo codes on the internet and makes sure you get the best price possible every time you shop online.

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once again, join Honey Calm/Jontron. Hey, we have an amazing new collection of Jontron's latest fashions at Represent Calm, so click that link right on the screen or the one in the description to check them out, maybe even the violin if you're crazy enough to to be that cool, hate that movie right, look, we're good, try to start a little.