Cookie Clicker: AAAAAHHHHH

Cookie Clicker starts like baking a

cookie

and then bakes 10 Quintilian

cookie

s without clicking in 17 seconds the apocalypse begins kill a reindeer it's too cute I can't do it I'm in the final stages of the game 91% achievements completed I'm close to the boss final, but to understand what I have to do next I have to explain what I've been through so far, so let me take you on a journey through the most exciting, strange, heartbreaking and expensive video game story you will ever know. I heard I started by clicking on the big cookie and baking a cookie, getting my first achievement.

The game gave me the mission to bake 1 million cookies, so I kept clicking and I realized that with 15 cookies I can buy an AI cursor that clicks on the cookie automatically once every 10 seconds. so I can stop now but I want a million so I clicked faster than accept terms and conditions I didn't read until I unlocked the second building a nice grandma to bake cookies for you I knew I could trust her so she said we'll get up and I knew I couldn't trust her, so I put her on my enemies board. Then I had more buildings to buy a farm to grow cookie plants, a mine to hide the cookies underground so they wouldn't have to pay taxes. 20 more curses to do.

My ears hurt, but I kept making more achievements. 83 cookies per second. This is where I start to need improvements. I can buy tools for my buildings to make them more efficient, like fertilizers for farms. Drills for the mine and for the factory. Child labor. It's strange that everything. bought with cookies it's also strange that grandmas talk about world domination that's probably fine at this rate it will take 166 hours to get 1 million cookies I need a new strategy but just when I was considering double child labor a new cookie appeared in front of my eyes eyes a cookie made of gold instinctively clicked on it frantically cookie production time 7 for 1 minute 7 even times more cookies came rolling in I was baking more cookies than cookies I accepted without knowing what that means and reached 1 million cookies Then , immediately the game revealed a portal, but to open it I need to feed the portal with a billion cookies to get that amount.

I need more obscure methods of baking cookies, go dog, bake the cookies, no that didn't work so make me click. Even faster I contacted Trey, a man whose family was murdered by a sleazy desk man. He put me in touch with a group of real-life artists. We spent weeks designing a custom Dragon desk mat featuring Grandma Vera Morgan Ellis and many more characters, all attacking me afterwards. After a week of use I can say that I am clicking faster, its tasteful thickness, the print quality is amazing and I decided to sell these desk mats to those of you who arrived early enough to see this video for just a month after this video. is up, you can buy this desk mat at Epic Desk and have it stare into your soul while you play.

It will never be sold again or else Vera would gain too much power. Buy this high quality detailed desk mat from my link right now, but then I discovered it. something unexpected one of my improvements was a kitten meow. I can help? I should have squatted down to play right here, but I have to know what's in the mysterious portal and the kitty offered to increase my cookies per second in exchange for milk, but I don't. I have milk, oh when did that come? It turns out that every time I get an achievement, the milk accumulates under the cookie and the more milk I have, the more work the kittens will do for me, the more achievements, the more cookies, the good news is that there are 622 achievements, so I can get lots of extra cookies, the bad news is that there are 622 achievements and now I have to get 622 achievements, so the next achievement I got was giving my bakery a name.

I named her after my first grandmother Vera and my fourth grandmother and my Seventh, why are so many of them called Vera? Who on Earth is Vera? Well, according to Google Maps. Vera owns a wellness clinic in Queensland, Australia so I sent her a heartfelt email telling her to go away and let me bake cookies in peace, we'll see if she responds with the kittens managing my farmers and miners. She had enough cookies to buy the next buildings first. I built a factory to mass produce cookies, but I was sued for paying my workers in cookies, so I bought the bank and changed the local currency to Then Cookies claimed that my cookie business was actually a religion, so it wasn't I have to pay taxes, but it's not really a religion, it's a cult and by watching this video, you are part of it.

Welcome, accept these terms and conditions at the At the top of the screen is a news ticker that tells me important things happening in the world, like your cookies have become sentient. The magicians were seen on Mars. We will kill you. Dragon, wait, what was he saying? I'm going to Mars, so I built a rocket. and I met a race of wizards who had magic that could cure diseases, fly endlessly, and talk to animals, so I used their magic to bake more cookies. I bought more ships to colonize other planets which I filled with bakery farms and more wizard towers to reach. my goal of a billion cookies and then the portal opened, it had a stern warning which I treated as terms and conditions and didn't read it and then the cookie broke, glimpses of Vera of other people caught in an endless fight and then I arrived at the ascended plane, this is a place that is between the Universe I started in and the new universe I am traveling to through the portal.

Here I can buy upgrades with Ascension points, the more cookies I got in the last Universe, the more points I get. I have to spend there is a strange upgrade that I need 16 million cookies for, so for now I bought something simpler, a dragon egg, and moved on to the next Universe. I'm back to zero cookies, so I started clicking on buy curses and researching contract laws, so I can get more child labor, but now I can feed my dragon egg cookies. Millions of cookies hatched and give me an aura that increases the kitten's productivity by 5%. 5% may not seem like much, but soon you will see me spending days of my life. on 1% bonuses, wait, that's a spoiler.

I'll delete that part of the video, but this video is here. I'm not qualified to edit it, go dog, fix my video, whose dog is this? As I bought more buildings, I realized some of my grandmothers began to change farm grandmothers minor grandmothers are taking jobs in my factories did they even give me a resume? Can you even read those glasses aren't in front of your eyes? You can barely see then a mysterious improvement appeared in the Big Bingo Center store, the grannies are planning something big to defeat them. I'll need a strong weapon. Fortunately, I have a fire-breathing dragon, so I fed it to 100 grandmothers which should stop them for a while, but I was getting hungrier.

I go to the universe, so I shoved 100 Farms down my throat and unlocked a new Fields Reaper Aura, this meant that the next golden cookie gave me a new bath. Dragon Harvest gave 15 times the production of cookies. The Dragon flew across the Earth harvesting the souls of the wicked, those are the wicked. who have murdered someone, cheated on a math test, or don't subscribe to Dragoon, but baking cookies on every planet in the universe isn't enough to satisfy my dietary needs. I need to eat more so I got my kitties to invent time travel and then I placed some dough at the beginning of time for the Big Bang to cook them instantly then I used all the antimatter and light in the universe to make more cookies no longer we can see the cookies but we can taste them finally I have a quadrillion cookies then grandma stole them all, bought the Bingo Center and started doing research with it.

I could have stopped, now I left them alone. I didn't have to fight with the grandmothers, but I'm Australian, we love a good fight, we chose a fight against an army. of emu and lost, so I'm going to pick a fight with the grandmothers and Morgan and a dog with a cannon and jiv but that's a spoiler I'll edit it oh wait the grandmothers have already finished their investigation their weapon of mass destruction is chocolate chips oh so Maybe they just like cookies and everything is fine, yes, the next invention was designer cocoa beans. I think everything will be fine.

His next update was a mind, we are one, we are many, either they want to be friends or they are an alien. Hive Mind, a collection drawn from Consciousness hell-bent on ending my cookie click forever, probably the first, probably the second, the background changed to disturbing images and a demonic creature flew towards my cookie and started eating it. I killed the creature with my clicks. I an achievement she told me is called a crimper Vera is taking over my cookie and never responded to my email she must be too old to use email I will have to deliver this letter the old fashioned way but this time instead of threatening her I will be the bigger man and I will ask for peace I wrote a detailed peace treaty I signed the treaty and placed it in an envelope addressed to Vera we will see if she responds but in the meantime I need a faster way to bake cookies and That's when after 24 hours of playing Cookie Clicking a sugar cube that had been growing in the corner of the screen was ready to be harvested.

Sugar cubes are like really tasty candy. Wait, this video has no sponsor. I can tell how I like sugar cubes. crack cocaine that also gives you the ability to fly. I offered this sugar cube to the Wizards and they give me personal access to their spell book. Now I can cast my own spells to give me more cookies. Make cheaper improvements. Summon a crimper, but the most important thing is to summon. a random gold cookie. I'll refer to this spell as F because that's what it's called now. I waited for a naturally spawning golden cookie to give me Dragon Harvest and then used fof for a second golden cookie that gave me the frenzy buff, so I have 15x the cookie production of Dragon Harvest and seven times the frenzy stacking together for a 105x combo, but after that I have to wait 40 minutes for my Mage Mana to regenerate, so I decided to ascend again.

I have over a thousand Ascension points that allow me to buy more. types of cookies before, I only made chocolate chip cookies, but after the 87 billionth cookie you get a little bored, so I started baking white chocolate cookies, macaroons, lady's fingers, which is a strange name for a cookie whose lady fingers we eat if you are a lady and your fingers look like this comment below and if you are not a lady with these fingers comment yes Drone I will buy your desk mat but that is a spoiler so I will delete that each new type of cookie gives a small bonus in CPS all bonuses stack up so all these small percentages currently give me 7,000 more cookies per second which makes grandmas even angrier sending more wrinkles to my cookie, but I have another golden cook, wait, that cookie is red, the grandmothers have taken over. the golden cookies, all hope is lost.

I'll be lucky to make it out of this alive, but it turns out you can buy luck and use that luck to create more cookies and then use a math machine to create even more cookies. I guess so. everyone cheated on their math test, so let me explain how math can duplicate your cookies, let's say you have a cookie c and a math cookie M, they are the same thing, so this machine multiplies them both by C, leaving you with this if subtraction M2 from both sides, then divide both sides by c - M, what you are left with is c - m = m or C = 2 m.

We have turned one cookie into two math cookies and therefore buying these math machines doubles our cookies per second if not. I don't understand that joining my school where I teach basic math and how to get 100,000 subscriber points is that I have a million SE cookies, it's time to leave this universe and Ascend finally unlocks the hidden update, Cookie Clicker season switcher has special events for the Easter holidays. Christmas, Halloween, Valentine's Day and April Fool's Day, but I was playing in May, where there are no events, nothing happens in May, if you have a birthday in May, you don't really exist, you should really wake up from a coma, your children will tell you they are waiting.

Anyway, with this update, AI has the power to change the time of year within the game for 100 billion cookies. I can manifest Christmas, the background turns into snowflakes and the crimpers start wearing Santa hats, the most important thing is that you unlock a festive test tube and as you progress, Put cookies on it and you can see in horrible weather real life spanof Santa Claus. In reality, there is not only one Santa Claus. Santa Claus comes from a race of elves, but as they grow older, they are sent into gladiatorial combat and slowly killed. by one and the final Survivor is chosen as Santa Claus of that generation, then all the Santa Clauses from the different universes gather for a final battle in chess, the winner becomes the real final clause who sees you when you are sleeping and knows when you're Awake, he knows you haven't drank enough water today, so I put him on my enemies board.

I also get a bunch of Christmas upgrades that increase my cookies per second and this is where the reindeer come into the game. Christmas reindeer have fun on your screen. with a cheerful smile but you know in your heart that they are made of cookies and that by bursting them you will get cookies that will give you an achievement, oh dear, burst a reindeer, then you realize that this implies that there is a reward for bursting more than one . on a powered Rampage with epic Christmas music in the background and finally popped 50 reindeer for the achievement, giving me a little more milk and a little more kitty cookies, then I moved on to the other stations.

Valentine's Day gives you seven heart-shaped cookies to purchase in April. fools rename all your buildings magic towers become memes grandma's ovens and mines are secret recipes the secret ingredient is child labor Halloween has seven spooky candies that you get by killing the crimpers and Easter takes you to search for eggs any gold cookie or the crimper can drop an egg that grants buffs ranging from 1% CPS to more gold cookies and 9 CPS. Yes, nine, there are 20 eggs in total and every time you get one, it gets rarer and rarer. Getting stuck at 19 out of 20 for 200+ wrinkles in a row was maddening, but after having all the upgrades from all the seasons I got a 600,000 multiplier for each.

I also got more kitty workers, they went from just helping me to working for me, becoming my engineers and overseeing the whole operation to make it even more worth getting achievements, so I started making all the strangers shrink the game window to submerge. the cookie and the milk click on this achievement to get it click on the new sticker 50 times and ignore the reports about world hunger sell grandma this gave me enough cookies to buy the next building the JavaScript Cookie Clicker console is written in Java this building allows you to rewrite the game code to bake more cookies, which is where we have to talk about cheating.

There are three ways to play Cookie Clicker Vanilla Scumbag and Bowling Vanilla. It's all in the game. The true experience where you do nothing else. I'm about to say that the ban is when you press F12, open the game console and type the game. cookies equal a ton and you instantly get infinite cookies and win the game or just press to ruin the fun and unlock everything that will be in this full video, well most of the things and the middle category is for trash, save scum It is a method to save the game. then try an RNG result if you didn't like it reload your game and do it again until you get what you wanted.

I think this is a crime worse than murder, but not as bad as not being a subscriber. I've been playing basic JavaScript. The console didn't help me much and the grandmas were getting angrier or just melting down. You could say that constantly abandoning the universe is running away from your problems, but these problems in the new universe also do not matter in which direction. run, everything is problems and every time I promote I lose all my season updates. I have to see Santa grow up again. I have to get all those eggs again if I want my precious plus n CPS.

I've been playing for 48 hours, no. I didn't directly sleep more than an hour but I have my second sugar cube. I offered it to my farmers and they let me customize a small garden. I have a wheat seed that gives me a 1% CPS bonus and when I let two of them grow The corn plant had mutated from wheat so I planted two corn next to each other and they became a Millet guild. He had three of the 34 seeds in the game. The legends speak of a plant that is capable of destroying grandmothers and according to the Legends I am referring to the people on the cookie

clicker

Discord server.

They don't like me very much. I don't play Cookie Clicker properly, but I don't see anything wrong with this setup. Click faster. Dog for the next few weeks. I would grind cookies into the octillion septian. and day by day I gave more sugar cubes to the farmers until I had a completely expanded garden to grow more plants. I kept mutating them to get new varieties using the simple technique of following this crazy flowchart. Special mentions include the Golden Clover which has a 1 there are 1,400 chances to grow daisies which, when you get them, take 12 real New Life hours to grow and the juicy queen expired after a week of gardening.

She had 33 of 34 seeds. 3 weeks later I was still 33 out of 34 seeds when I finally got the juicy queen hit. I was told that I now had to delete all of my garden progress to get an achievement. Clicking this button was the most painful gaming experience I've ever had and it continues on my enemy board and those. Sources who told me that there was a plant to defeat the grannies actually meant that to defeat the grannies I have to get all the achievements in the game. Grandma's real weakness is actually her allergy to cats and if I get more milk, the kittens will rise. to defeat the grannies, so all of this was necessary, although I had an idea, jumping universes doesn't stop the grannies, they just follow me, but although I'm already baking cookies in multiple universes in all timelines, I haven't explored others dimensions.

The next building is an idol verse. Think about the initial Universe here and in each Ascension I am jumping to a new universe. The dimensions are sets of universes parallel to the path of the current Universe. I need to distract the grandmothers while I leave this Dimension, so I started a story. I fought with them and left while they were thinking of a rhyme. I have reached a safe place but I am much poorer in this Dimension. I need a way to make money fast without risk of losing it, so I'm ready to gamble. My life savings in the stock market in all universes.

I now own a few rival companies that have sprung up trying to sell products other than cookies. It's my job to remind them that I'm too big to fail and too big to let anyone else. seed and too big to eat just a cookie for breakfast. There are hundreds of pages of technical analysis to optimize your cookie trading strategy, but I mainly bought low and sold high for 40 days straight until I got the highest achievement gas assets in stocks to make $31 million, you will notice that this achievement has a purple tag Shadow Achievement, remember when I said this game has 622 achievements?

There are also 17 secret shadow achievements that should not be attempted according to the creator of Cookie Clicker, one of them is True Never Click, where you have to restart the entire game and reach a million cookies without clicking, it involves waiting for the golden cookies in the hopes of getting the lucky plus 13 buff twice and then getting the 0.1 million cookies at a time and if you are a masochist, I can combine this with another unconditional achievement and do it without purchasing a single upgrade, Only a mentally unstable man would try to get the shadow achievements, so after I got them, I was officially 100 days into my game, I thought I should celebrate and bust out the cookie

clicker

. off my mind for a while, so I begged for some cookies.

I went through the list of types of cookies to make. I thought of my enemies. I thought about my dedication to creating spoiler-free content. I thought about my limited edition high-quality desktop art genius, but I got distracted looking at Vera and accidentally made lady fingers. I'm going to carry these with me and keep looking for women who have fingers that look like this, but first I have to deal with a big problem. I only have 10 million cookies. It may seem like a lot could last even a full weekend, but the cookie accomplishments go way beyond that and I need them all, so I bought the next building, a Baker Crust.

It turns out that each world line is created by an ancient entity called the crust. Baker is basically a God, but not even gods can resist the tempting bite of a chocolate chip cookie. I started paying them in cookies to change the laws of physics so that the ingredients for a chocolate chip cookie would now be consumed doubling my cookies per second, but to get even more cookies. I have continued leveling up my pet dragon all this time and it has unlocked a new bar instead of Harvest Dragon that gives 15 cookies. I have dragon flight that gives 1,111 times cookies now that I have over 400 mage towers.

I have enough. Mana to cast Toof twice in a row, so my basic strategy is to wait until the natural golden cookie gives me dragon flight, then cast Toof twice and pray to the Bakers crust, the RNG gives me frenzy and the frenzy of the clicker gives me 43 million more. cookies for 10 seconds but there is actually a way to increase that by another 1,000%. I gave a sugar cube to my priests at the temple and they let me choose which religion to follow. I was always a fan of the Mayans, they sacrificed a person to the Sun every day to make sure the Sun rose the next morning, we still haven't proven that that doesn't work.

I think we should keep doing it just in case, so I chose a religion that makes you sacrifice your buildings for more cookie fans. Now I'm almost halfway through the game. I just have to, oh God, damn it, grandma. I kept going through more universes and more dimensions and getting more ascended upgrades until I discovered a new path. Curses without shackles. Grandmothers without shackles. Farms without shackles as such. It turns out that all my buildings were still chained by their own inner thoughts and limiting beliefs governed by their ego, so I gave them a therapy that worked, but slowly, so instead I gave them magic mushrooms that led to the death of the ego and now operate with pure efficiency. without any thought friction, I finally unlocked the final building.

I have ascended to the point where I can buy other versions of myself. They have their own extended universes and cookie dimensions. Together we can bake even more cookies, but each of us has a horde of grandmothers. chasing us, so we have to act quickly. I'm ready for the final Sprint to the maximum amount of cookies in the game. A gentian Trevor. The combo requires some setup. First in the garden. I can plant golden clovers which increase the spawn rate of golden cookies. to make it easier to stack up combos, there's a lot of RNG, but eventually I can get the Dragon Harvest frenzy and a special building which is a perk that gives you multiplayer based on how many buildings you own.

I had all three at the same time and then I change my dragon aura to dragon flight and while I wait for the next natural cookie cast twice, I can refill my mana with a sugar cube and cast two more times to have three active upgrades and five cookies gold on the screen. Hoping they give me dragon flight and clicker frenzy, then if I get the crazy RNG to do all that, I go into three different forms of debt, freeze my garden, activate Ascension buffs, sacrifice thousands of buildings to the Sun God and then changes the religion to the cow.

God, then click as fast as my hands will allow me to do all that in less than 5 seconds so the upgrades don't run out and you'll get millions of years worth of cookies. It took me days to finally get the RNG right and not mess up. I started the execution and it left me 500 million cookies. I have to do that at least four more times to get to a Trevor gentian. It will take me many weeks of work to get close to the combo, but I fell short by clicking wrong. At this point I just don't want to continue, it will take a long time, but right after I said I would stop playing Cookie Clicker, my mentor Draon spoke to me.

This is you around you, this is what you are currently capable of. Outside is the darkness of the world. your fears but also your hopes and dreams in every direction you face problems but the only way to grow to realize those hopes and make those dreams come true is to go through the darkness face fear with speed and vigor have faith that you will overcome them he is true, I've always done that, I faced things, I was afraid of the balloon leader board and Morgan Vera and her army of grannies, one day I'll steal the Pope's hat, I'll keep fighting, wait, Discord is yelling at me again, I said I was about to end the game with a gentian cookie from Trevor.

They said he was a fool. There are still achievements that I have not achieved. Cast 999 spells. I can cast cheap spells over and over again. That's not so bad. Level 10,grandmothers Okay, that cost me 55. sugar cubes but I can do it wait level 10 temples level 10 spaceships level 10 alternate dimensions there is an achievement for level 10 of each building that costs a total of 1.00 sugar cubes at least and It will take more than 2 years to get so many lumps, wait, there is one more achievement, black cats, poor thing, click on 7,777 golden cookies. I've been playing this game for over 600 hours for 6 months and I clicked just over 2,000 gold cookies, how am I supposed to get that, especially since there is a shadow achievement 7 horseshoes, click 27.7 77 cookies gold and this is a Steam achievement, count.

Discord had exposed me to a deeper knowledge than the human mind was ever supposed to witness and they had just begun. Turns out there's a competitive leaderboard for Cookie. Clicker I had no idea he was just playing. Well, I was going to say fun, but I'm not sure most leaderboards include any nonsense. That would be 21st in the world for most cookies baked without cheating. That's a lot better than I expected, okay? Maybe I've done quite well, but what prevents me from reaching the top 10 has always been Vera taking my cookies, distracting me. I'd be number one if it weren't for your side note, please don't anyone try to contact anyone named Vera in real life.

This is all for a silly cookie clip, click on a video and shouldn't be brought into the real world, so I booked a flight to Queensland, Australia to meet Vera in person on the flight. I planned my method of attack. She's weak with kittens and rap battles. She was designing the perfect one. I finally arrived and was about to yell at Vera to come out and confront me, but then I saw something in front of her house, it's an envelope with my peace treaty signed by Vera andu. Now I'm free, but I have one. Last thing I can say, you're there for Wellar, one more thing before I go, it looks like the end of my mission, but you can barely see it, so I know you didn't read the terms and conditions.

One, give me cookies, two, next to my desk mat. three tell a friend about Drone Des four description five and you will see that six You agreed to buy from me now there is no one who can defeat me to represent the constant battle we all face I created this desk mat for a limited time you can be the proud owner of this incredible artwork of the battles we have faced drag your mouse and keyboard over the high quality fibers while I look into your soul just remember to read the terms and conditions I ended up leaving verah lady fingers I guess if someone's fingers look like this They are hers, but not before sacrificing one to the sun god so that it comes out tomorrow, you're welcome.

I'll see you all in 2 years, when the sugar cubes stop growing.