Confessions of a Disney Employee

Two shows in, by the time it's over, I'm like *PSHOOOM* like a ninja! Jump from the rooftops of the Disney rides to reach the closet. I change, and now my new mission is how can I return, dressed in civilian clothes, without security seeing me? I spent too many hours playing Metal Gear Solid. Hideo Kojima, don't let me down now. I'm leaning against walls, in bushes, and crawling in a cardboard box. They won't catch me. I managed to get back there. And I take a plate and it's like hamburger, chicken and pasta, I'm eating French toast. without reason.

Seafood, steak, ribs and Pillsbury pate! He's doing cartwheels in the background like "haha." They have fish, they have everything, they have Gummiberry juice! You know, cardboard? The dose they drink? They actually have real gummy juice in there! And I ate a lot of food! Oh God! I showed them that my children could gain weight because of some of the foods I ate that night. Then I realized, nonsense! I don't want to be the only kid walking around alone eating all this food, so I have to get along. I look around and see a group of children and I slip into their group like a chameleon.

The next thing that happened was that my new best friend and I were going to all the games together. It was... one of the best nights of my life. They never arrested me, they didn't even know about it. Disney, I have to admit. I quit after a few months, so I no longer work for Disney. But I will say that I know it sounds bad, but working for Disney has been amazing. Amazing experience. And I tell you all that to get to this. If you know someone who looks anything like me, this is what I look like.

Anyone who looks like me, who lives in the Los Angeles or Orlando area, works for Disney and has a valid ID, which they can use to return to Disney property. Please send them this video. In fact, if you know someone who works at Disney, chances are...do you know why? Put this on your Facebook wall, send it to everyone, tweet this. Someone you know, knows someone... knows someone who works at Disney, knows someone who looks like me. And she needs to watch this video. Help your swoozie. Because with a valid ID card, I can return to the property the next time a public school or university rents the park.

Here is my Facebook. Twitter. My space. I even have a tumblr here for all this stuff, okay guys? If you know someone who looks like me, please contact me immediately. It's chicken quesadilla right now, and you haven't lived until you've had Disney-seasoned fries. true story Well, you're done.