Catwoman - The Worst Superhero Movie Ever Made?

Welcome back to The Worst Superhero Movies Ever Made, a series where I watch bad

superhero

movie

s and decide which one sucks the most. So far in this series, we've only seen one

movie

and it wasn't that bad, so let's dig a little deeper. and we come to a movie that is significantly worse, 2004's Catwoman, and we have a treat today because it's the first time I've seen this movie before today. I didn't know anything about this movie other than some scenes I saw out of context so go honey now very much like daredevil this movie starts with an edgy monologue it all started the day I died they say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die and now that I think about it there are a lot of

superhero

movies that start with a stupid monologue, if you haven't noticed that all the superhero movies of this era just wanted to be like Spider-Man, so

ever

yone is copying Spider-Man , they get an opening narration followed by a slow origin story watching our hero get used to his new powers it's the same movie the difference is we actually like Spider-Man let's be honest no one really wanted a Catwoman movie the fact That she had a movie before Wonder Woman is kind of funny, especially when you consider the fact that this is just a Catwoman movie, this movie isn't interested in adapting any content from the comics, like we're going outside of the comics. , here are the items that are actually accurate to source material number one, her name is Catwoman, that's a complete list, so yeah, this time no residual comic book knowledge will come into play here.

This movie consists entirely of OC and for this I would like to thank the creator of this movie, a man known simply as Pete from Potosi. I don't know, yeah, anyway, this movie stars Halle Berry, who plays Selina Kyle. Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I've been notified that her name in this movie is actually Patients, Phillips, okay, sure, and since this movie wants to be Spider-Man, really bad Patients. Like a big loser who can't dress herself, she has no guts and can't even walk properly. Oh my god, she's just like me. I love the escapism, as the movie shows us how much of a nerd and virgin loser she is. to see that she's being visited by a magical teleporting ghost cat now, if that's too crazy for you I'll have to tell you that the ghost cat is probably the most normal thing in the movie as she chases the ghost cat that she's climbing up the side stand. a building thinking she's in danger, but oopsie, he teleports away and leaves her up there to die.

I hate what my cat does and this is a good part to mention editing because editing is very interesting to me, it can be easy. It is described as the

worst

thing in the film. What you want is continuity of filming. Is filming continuity for cowards? Half the time people have different facial expressions between cuts, and sometimes when they're doing other things entirely, there are like a dozen cuts a second to remember that notorious clip. from Bohemian Rhapsody where a short scene has like 80 cuts or something ridiculous, yeah well that's basically this entire movie, let's look at this short clip and count how many cuts we can fit in about 15 seconds, oh we're not done yet so anyway, while Patience is trapped on a ledge ready to die, she is rescued by a new character and because the editing is so crazy, the movie makes it look like this guy is going up three floors and breaking into her apartment in about five seconds.

This guy already has superpowers. Because? Isn't the movie about him? Anyway, this guy is our love interest and a quick side note. Did you know that the average person can remember and recognize around 10,000 people in their lifetime, but of those 10,000 we may only remember the names of some of them? them, so what I'm basically trying to say is that you shouldn't get too mad at me if I call this guy a cop for the rest of the movie. I really don't want to waste one of my ten thousand, so anyway they meet cute and she goes back to work in the CGI office building she works in and by the way, while you're looking at this hilariously unnecessary CGI shot of a building that could It would have just been a normal building and no one would have questioned it.

I should probably point out that this movie had a budget of $100 million for comparison, it's the same budget as the second Harry Potter movie that came out two years earlier and it looks about 200 times better in

ever

y aspect. I have no idea what. They spent all that money because I don't think much of it went into the actual movie. This movie also has a lot of things that I can classify as unnecessary. Unnecessary CGI shots. Unnecessary secondary characters and unnecessary moments like this. Sharon Stone. she's talking to her husband and being mean to him and then the scene ends with her teleporting away.

Why does this happen well? Because P. Toph said so. Are you going to question him because I won't? Anyway, in this movie the villains have an evil plot where they are making a skin cream that gives people rashes because they are evil and don't care about the suffering of others, even though in theory it will make them lose money. long term, but they don't care because You're evil, so the patients accidentally find out about this and the bad guys try to kill her, wait a minute, how is she casting a shadow? She has her back to the boxes and there's no light behind her, okay, I guess I don't have time to think.

About that, now we're in a chase scene and I'm NOT pining for this video at all, there are so many cuts and then she dies and no I'm not kidding, this time she actually dies, it's pretty funny, but then an army of magic . The ghost cats find her lifeless body and I'm not going to make up the next part. It may seem like I'm making it up, but I'm not. Listen to me. Okay, the ghost cats climb on her body and burp. her to bring her back to life and give her superpowers honestly this is so dumb it's fascinating in these times when a superhero movie isn't accurate enough then people will just riot in the streets there are still people who are angry about that.

The new Spider-Man movies haven't mentioned Uncle Ben enough times, but in the early 2000s you could see a movie where webs were coming out of his skin and no one said anything about it and you could have this movie

made

by a French Filmmaker with a name that's like Oh Catwoman, yes, I could make a movie about a woman who is also a cat. How difficult could it be? Anyway, now that he has superpowers, the movie decides to use this as an excuse to have worse editing. I didn't think it could get any worse, but hey, this movie isn't even a quarter done yet, so I'm open to being surprised a little more right after getting her new cat powers just to show you what she is. infected with the abilities of a cat, she sleeps in her bed like a cat, but then she falls out of bed and doesn't land on her feet, so it doesn't matter, I take it all back, this movie can't be trusted, but other than that For the most part, she has all the powers of a cat, including but not limited to the ability to dress a little nicer, the desire to steal jewelry, the ability to cut and dye her hair, super strength, and confidence to insult his boss.

I'm sorry. Sir, it's not good enough and let me try the remix. Oh, and in case you didn't know, the cat's superpowers also make him pretty good at basketball, so as the first major bonding moment between our main character and his love interest, they have what I can only . Call a one-on-one sexual basketball game in front of a large group of kids and this is the funniest scene in the entire movie. If Evanescent seen from Daredevil is the funniest scene in that movie, I choose this one to represent this. movie, but unlike daredevil, this movie has no brakes, it's non-stop crazy basketball scenes with no time to waste, she has to fight with her neighbors now I say fight, but that's kind of generous, she's more of a public nuisance a social terrorist if you want, oh wait for the fight scenes to end, don't blink, now he's stealing a motorcycle, whose motorcycle is it?

Why does she do it? Don't think about it too much, it doesn't matter, look how many editors we have. Look how expensive this movie is. I'm a ghost ride with her new powers that are only marginally related to cats. Patience decides to not only stop the criminals but also commit the crimes herself afterwards, leading her to make this decision again. Don't know. I'll never know, so please stop asking me. The movie doesn't want to tell me now. She has an irresistible urge to steal jewelry. Now she only likes jewelry. I guess cats like jewelry. Chick. I need you to lend me some jewelry.

Isn't that what birds do? Isn't that a bird thing? Well, I'm not a smart man, so I'm not really going to question it. This movie just does what it wants. He doesn't care if things happen. for a reason and once you start to understand the scene you're just distracted by horrible editing or equally horrible CGI or both look at this I'm showing you right now where did the money go? where did the money go? Patience has committed some crimes, she decides to go online and find out why she has superpowers and I think one of my favorite tropes and bad movies is the main character doing stupid Google searches, cats, women and I've been complaining about all of this. things, but I haven't even mentioned how bad the writing is, hey man, every line in this movie is stupid to the point where I don't even have time to mention them all, so I'm not patient anymore, you guys are patient. and be careful, it's safe to say that everything in this movie is bad, the directing is bad, the editing is bad, the acting is bad, call the police, sometimes the characters can just teleport, like there are a lot of scenes in the that people teleport and I don't.

I don't know why it keeps happening the shots are bad there is distracting product placement the action is bad I'm convinced this movie just wants to be bad and in every scene you get something hilarious like Oscar winner Halle Berry acting like a cat Like this That's how the story goes in this movie. Patience finds out about the evil plan to sell bad face cream and then gets killed and then comes back to life but forgets about the face cream for about a third of the movie and then remembers it so she goes back to the cream factory facials but there's a dead guy there so he leaves and decides to just hang out and go on dates without urgency even though he knows the evil plot but I don't know.

I guess you forgot the face cream again. This movie is quite disorienting if you've never been drunk before. I can say with complete honesty that you can watch this movie and you will feel exactly the same. I really didn't mean to make this comparison. It keeps coming up, but this movie is almost exactly the same as Daredevil, which came out a year earlier. The scenes even feel the same. The romantic scenes are the same. The action scenarios are the same. The story leads our hero to be framed for a murder. they don't get engaged, which causes friction between them and their love interest and then the police come after them and wow, if you thought the romantic subplot and the daredevil were bad, it has nothing to do with this movie, the whole relationship between Catwoman and the cop consists of her being a weirdo and he just smiles like an idiot at everything she says or does here, so anyway, like I said before Catwoman gets framed for murder and then caught, the man arrests her, but she's fine, her cat powers allow her to compress her skeleton and slide. the bars of a jail cell because I guess that's how it works now she has to stop Sharon Stone from sending the evil face cream to everyone and it's at this point that I realized that the entire plot hinges on the fact that that everyone must believe. and listen to Sharon Stone's character, she tells everyone, hey, my husband was murdered by Catwoman and everyone believes in her, the only problem is that a simple investigation would prove that Catwoman is innocent, all the patients have to do It's going to the police and saying, hey, the bad guys tried it. to murder me and then the police would go to Sharon Stone's publicly available evil lair and find out what's going on, it's that simple, at any time she could go to them and say, hey, these guys are selling evil face cream and I'm not really trying to hide it either, but no, she doesn't try until she gets caught and she keeps confronting Sharon Stone in multiple scenes, but then at the end of each scene one of them just leaves.

This is the whole movie and it's really dumb, Catwoman. goes somewhere fights someone for a second then they talk and then one of them runs away it happens over and over and over again by the time the final battle happens I didn't even care because Catwoman hasfaced the main villain like four times even. when the cop discovers her evil plan, he decides to go alone with Sharon Stone and threaten her even though he knows she is a murderer, he is a cop, he could call backup, he could report it to his other cop friends, but he doesn't. so she shoots him and yeah, maybe he shouldn't murder cops if he's trying to get away with this evil secret plan, logically he shouldn't be there and logically he shouldn't shoot her, but let's do both, don't think about it too.

It's hard for this movie to depend on you not thinking about anything you're watching. Anyway, Catwoman faces off against Sharon Stone one last time and they have a silly karate fight. Oh, and also Sharon Stone has super strength in this movie because of her evil face cream, yeah. She was going to mention it earlier, but honestly, who cares? It's nonsense, let's kill the main villain and be done with it. I'm sick of this movie, oh sorry, my producer has notified me that all early 2000's superhero movies have to end with a CGI scene. deel hero on the city rooftops oh my god this is not a good movie honestly guys this movie makes Dardevil look like a masterpiece.

I know this is only the second movie we've seen in this series, but I think on a technical level it will be like that. really hard to top this one as one of the

worst

. I'm not really kidding when I say that every aspect of this movie is lacking, but on the one hand, in a strange way, it's kind of endearing, as if, on paper, this movie fails in every aspect. of cinema, but it's also so much fun to watch every moment, it's so crazy you'll probably enjoy it. This movie is hilarious and I can't say the same for other bad superhero movies I've seen because I can tell you with complete transparency that the next movies I cover in this series are not going to be fun to watch, you know the ones I'm talking about, judging by this movie solely for its technical flaws, I'd probably give it a 2 out of 10, but I won't do that because it's too entertaining and it's my number on the list, the scores are done anyway, so we'll give Catwoman a three out of 10.