Avengers: Endgame Pitch Meeting

so you have a script of the end of the Avengers for me, yes sir, I do, oh my god, yes, very exciting, so let's start Hawkeye with this family, but they all get dusted, oh god mine, and then we go to space and check. Tony and nebula oh my god oh my god dude do you think you could stop saying oh my god I'm sorry I'm so excited okay so anyway it looks like Tony is about to die because he's left no oxygen and no food, hmm, oh my god? Lord, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but then Captain Marvel shows up and she saves them because she's now working with the Avengers.

Oh, Captain Marvel, huh, so we'll show her

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them and stuff, no, I mean, we already had the infinite war post-credits scene. the post-credits scene and Captain Marvel, so I feel like people know how it got there, but what if people haven't seen those movies? I mean, I'm kidding, this is the most expensive TV show in the world, it's not our fault if people have seen them. I haven't seen the last episode okay yeah good joke sir so what's going to happen when they find out what planet Thanos is on and he's a lot more like Shrek than he used to know people like Shrek and then the Avengers show up and They're like where are the stones and he's like oh yeah, no, I destroyed them oh, that's not good, no, it's not, and then Thor, you know, cuts off his head, does what he now cuts off the head of Thanos and rolls into the corner and is dead.

Wow, well I'm surprised this turned out to be a very short movie, we're going to save a lot of money though oh no it's not done but Thanos is dead yeah we'll fade to black in the words that appear five years after. On screen, yes, it's been five years and everyone is super sad and depressed because all their friends are still dead. Listen, it's extremely important to me to quote the Backstreet Boys as little as possible in my daily life, but I'm going to need you to stop. playing with my heart why is that extremely important to you?

Okay, what will happen next? Well Captain Marvel will be like he's really busy right now and calm down he's pretty rude and then a rat will free Ant-Man from the quantum realm. What will be the key to save everyone. Oh, life-saving rats are tight, yeah, so it turns out Ant-Man was in the quantum realm for five years, but it seemed like five hours to him, oh, pretty cool, yeah, so he's going to see the Avengers . and he's like, hey, time is weird, maybe it's something we can look into, okay, so they're going to see Tony, but he's a daughter now and he says time travel is impossible and this is dumb and no, thanks.

Oh, Tony as a daughter, yes, she is real. adorable, she tells him I love you 3000, how does he think he is the lead singer of Outkast? No, it's just kind of cute. She says it's fine anyway, so Tony will end up changing his mind about helping them and then he'll have to figure out time travel, but she says it's impossible, that'll be hard to do, it'll actually be super easy, it'll barely be an inconvenience, oh really, yes, just try something after washing the dishes and it works immediately. Great, so the Avengers have to get the rest of the team together, oh, very exciting, yeah, so they go find Thor, but now he's fat.

Oh you just opened up a whole new world for cosplayers, yes I did, and Tony will call it The Big Lebowski, that movie starring Jeff Bridges, that's Jeff Bridges who also starred in Iron Man which oh damn, I mean, okay, let's try not to mention too many real world movies, okay, we'll keep it to a minimum, just a couple more references like Back to the Future in Hot Tub Time Machine Hot Tub Time. Machine starring Sebastian Stan ah damn it's bound to happen we love pop culture references but we got all the famous people in these things yeah we do it anyway they have four and I guess they wait for me to come back Captain Marvel, no, she's busy, yes, but don't you like waiting for her to make contact?

It seems like it would be nice to have her around. She is busy. She doesn't have time for this. I mean, she's fine. Anyway, the plan is to go back in time and get Infinity Stones. So time I did it. but the thing is, they have a very limited number of Pym particles, so they have one chance to get it right, why don't they go back in time and steal some more particles? I mean, yeah, they eventually do it, why don't they? They know it right away because then the stakes wouldn't be as high and plus they just want to start right away oh okay, anyway they split up into teams and explore a bunch of old Marvel movies oh it's like fanservice, the movie is exactly what it's going to be.

It will be cool as a rocket and Thor will go to Asgard. It's very exciting, which actually reminds me that we're going to have to bring Natalie Portman back. Oh, what do you need it for? I need you to take a nap. I mean, it will be the most expensive network in the world, but. Okay, cool, so yeah, they have to steal the reality stone from an insider by poking it with a little thing. Okay, and some other Avengers will go to the Battle of New York. There should have been three stones in New York at exactly that moment, but then Loki.

He will manage to grab the tesseract and disappear, oh where will he go? In a fantastic spin-off TV show. Also Black Widow and Hawkeye are going to watch alone, so they have to make all that sacrifice you love for the soul stone, oh yeah, and so Black Widow dies well, thank goodness the team sent two Avengers who love each other, It's a pretty convenient coincidence, so what else happens? Well, Iron Man will build a gauntlet and Hulk will snap his fingers and bring everyone back. It turns out Thanos knows the plan because past nebulae are facing projectors connected to the same Wi-Fi network as the current nebula.

Oh yeah, so they just bombed the Avengers facility. I mean, this turns into a crater. Oh guys, everyone's fine, yeah. no, everyone's fine, yeah, I thought they might be, but then Thanos is waiting outside and he wants the stones because he has a new plan in mind, oh yeah, he's like, well, now I see my 50% decimation thing didn't work so I'm going to kill everyone and start over oh so you took the well developed villain from Infinity War and turned him into the Apocalypse from the latest X-Men movie pretty much yeah everything they built will fall in all that interesting movement, yes, then. it's time for a big final fight things are going to get real oh boy but first Thor uses lightning to braid his beard real quick and then the fight starts oh boy so it's going to be this amazing showdown like the cap will use a mule near Wow Wow and then there's just a cat that's barely standing but is looking down.

Thanos Army oh there will be a big throwaway CGI army of course this is an Avengers movie. I love it and just when it seems like all hope is lost, Doctor Strange opens a portal and goes black. panther walks Oh black panther, how and what does he do to go see Bombay oh, he loves to say that, yeah, and then all the heroes will have these slow, dramatic entrances through all the portals. Wow, how nice that the ghosts don't attack when everyone comes in, yeah, definitely. Let them have a very thoughtful moment, then it's going to be a massive fight, it's going to be like boom boom boom boom pow pow pow that sounds cool, I like the sound of that and all the fights are happening, they need to get the gauntlet in this travel van in the time to place all the stones in their right places, okay, and at a certain point, all the heroines will land in the same place to protect the gauntlet, well, that will be awesome, yeah, it will be cool, I bet.

Why did they do that to protect the glove? Okay, but why did all the heroines land in the same place at the same time? They planned that through their communicators. No, no, of course not. That's nonsense, so it's a coincidence. It just so happens that all the female characters and only the female characters did that simultaneously. I mean, I wouldn't call it a coincidence either, don't get me wrong, it sounds amazing. I'm just trying to understand how and why something like that. would happen on a massive battlefield, well this is what's going to be a cool scene, so I need you to get the logistics out of my hands.

Oh, okay, I'll do great, so anyway, Captain Marvel and the gang have to do it. Take this glove to the truck. Captain Marvel has the gauntlet. Why doesn't he put it on and turn all the bad guys into dust because they're enough? And then Aniss will end up getting her hands on the glove. Oh, yeah, and then, Dr. . strange looks at Tony and does this so he tells him it's time for that ant man and Thanos is nothing but fury oh my god no he's telling Tony this is a 1 in 14 million chance oh he's okay, I understand you, so Tony man must grab everything. the stones without Thanos noticing, so the stones give you a huge surge of power when you put the mondo on, when you take them off, there's no noticeable difference, that's what we're going to do, huh, so Tony snaps his fingers and turns all the bad guys into dust and how does that work exactly like how does Tony know what to do?

What does he do? He just thinks a lot about how he wants to kill all the bad guys and then snaps his fingers so it has the same kind of mental logistics as a birthday wish no no it's nothing like a birthday wish well he just has to wait for him with all your strength and dr. strange I couldn't tell him or it wouldn't come true that sounds like a birthday wish it's not a birthday wish anyway so Tony dies oh so sad and then Captain America has to travel back and put all the stones in the hours exact locations where they were taken from, oh so you have to go to Asgard and stab Natalie Portman with something, yeah I guess, then you have to go to Voir Mir and have a weird conversation with Red Skull and ask him how to get to the children's pool. where do you get the soul stone from, I mean, yeah, I guess he also has to make that situation very awkward anyway, so instead of going back through the time machine, Cap decides to live a full life with Peggy Carter, so he ends up being super old, so he just lived. a full life while Bucky was somewhere being tortured I guess he did know when he kissed Sharon Carter that she's like his niece or something uh uh what happens when he leaves?

Maybe we can't think too much about this and just enjoy it so okay, that sounds good, cool, and that's it, you know, Cap is old Iron Man, he's dead, yeah, but I mean we could go to visit him whenever with the time machine, right, I mean, yeah, but you know, let's not do that, I don't know. He could be a great source of income, at least right? I'm just saying it's possible. I just think it would be nice if character deaths were permanent. You know it takes away from sacrifices if they show up and other things, okay, okay.

Do you agree? Yes, aha, I agree. Hi guys, I'm Ryan. I hope you like that introductory

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