Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Pitch MeetingMay 30, 2021
so he has a
warssequel for me yes sir i do in the opening text crawl we will find out that palpatine is alive again and he sent a broadcast to everyone. Oh, Palpatine is back, how is that possible? Well the dark side is a pathway to many abilities that some would consider natural oh very vague what does that even mean? he was pulling the strings this whole time like he seriously created snow yeah we just didn't see it because he was in a basement with strobes it's so weird we never hinted at this at all in any way yeah uh huh pretty crazy but this was always the plan, though I mean, I mean, yeah, I wouldn't
start a trilogy without a roadmap, you know I wouldn't do it right, okay, so what happens in this? well you know how in the last jedi we found out that Rey's parents are nobody yeah yeah go into that and the broom guy it seemed like maybe we were looking for a hopeful message like the force can be with anyone, you don't have to be related, well it turns out Ray is Palpatine's granddaughter, oh she's yeah yeah pretty cool right?
So that means Palpatine has let you know intimate, oh my god yeah no I guess so oh no oh no no no oh I'm imagining you so am I and I hate to so first He said that, okay, maybe we can. keep going i literally wouldn't love anything else so what happens in the movie well the good guys want to get to palpatine but to do that they need to get something ok but to get that they'll have to go somewhere and Get something else, go somewhere else and get something else, okay? Sounds like a lot of fetch quests like in a video game, well people love video games, that's a good point, video games make money so where do they go?
The man and they meet Lando Calrissian they remember it's from the other movie that it is and It's like he has a bad feeling about this he says what he says and then the good guys get chased by stormtroopers and end up in a tunnel oh that not good, it's actually because they find a dagger which is a clue to the exact thing they're looking for, oh wow, what are the odds of ending up in that exact spot after an astronomical chase? But this is space, so it's okay. there she heals a snake what are you talking about well you can heal people into animals by giving them some life force or something.
I decided. only c-3po can understand but he can't translate why because of his programming but actually why extend the plot a bit ok ok i got it so they need to go to this other planet to translate but they capture Chewie . oh no yeah and he's being taken away on a ship but rey acci dentally blows him up oh my god she kills Chewbacca that's such a powerful shocking moment I can't believe it well that's good because not really It happens, well, I want this movie to have shocking moments, but I really don't. deal with the actual impact so i usually know to undo them right away oh yeah so Chewbacca blows up but it turns out he was on another ship so okay okay c-3po has his memory wiped and he has you say goodbye to your friends but r2 has a backup so it's okay.
Wow, Rey stabs Kylo Ren, but then he heals them, so he's fine. It could have been interesting. A planet explodes with the characters we meet. alright when luke said no one ever went in the last movie i really took it to heart as you know a narrative device yes sir it appears to be so yes so both luke and han are going to pass the while a little too confident, why not? then they go to another planet to meet a Power R the wrath that Poe used to come out of and a little alien named Babu Frick, oh what's his problem? oh well he is the cutest marketing opportunity.
I love it, so then they go to rescue Chewie and Huck helps them because it turns out that he is now a spy. Oh interesting, it will be great to see how that plays out throughout the film. Oh no, he dies right away. someone intimidating if you say so i do then the good guys go to another planet and find out the dagger points to something they need to go somewhere what the dagger tells them where to go yeah it turns out someone did this thing so yeah you stand in a very specific place and you point to the wreckage of the Death Star, it shows you where you need to go and it turns out they're standing in that specific place and they're just standing in that specific place Wow Wow Wow then Ray finds this GPS thing which she needs, but then she is faced with an evil version of herself for about 10 seconds.
Why is that? So we can show it in the trailer. That's smart. So Rey and Kylo Ren have a fight and Finn is also there for some reason. Finn even in this movie well he sure will be there that sounds good to me he'll also meet other X stormtroopers who defected too oh that's a good drive home the fact that stormtroopers are like real people you know exactly and Finn is going to kill too. a lot of stormtroopers, oh, it is, yeah, he's pretty good at it now, but I guess he doesn't have a choice, so it's kind of a bleak moment when he has to do it.
I don't know, he yells a lot when he kills them Wow I don't know how this guy feels about stormtroopers it's not clear sir he also has a big secret that he's about to tell Ray when he thinks they're going to To die. Oh what is it? I mean she was a major player in the last movie she and Finn kissed at the end yeah but she has to study so she has to study I mean she would have gone on an adventure but she has to study hard to get it right, what about Maz Kanata? getting answers answers about which well in the force awakens have he asked how he got luke's lightsaber and she was like a good question for another time oh yeah that's a good question for sure yeah but probably better for another time huh? did you forget to pay that? off i forgot to pay that ok it happens i mean a lot so anyway ray is going to go face palpatine on this planet called X ago ok and the resistance is going to fight a massive fleet of star destroyers he said Palpatine build so many Star Destroyers and staff them by being off screen for several movies that it works for me, so what ends up happening in Testicle X Does, what did I say?
Well, Palpatine, it's like you know, Rey, if you kill me, my spirit will take over your body. and the n Ben shows up to Palpatine as ooh a force dyad a force dyad a force dyad then he turns into a Dementor and starts sucking the life out of them so things are just happening uh things just are happening, so he throws Ben away. off a cliff oh and then everything gets horrible I mean there are too many enemies in the space battle oh it's going to be hard for the resistance to win now actually it's going to be very easy barely an inconvenience oh yeah i can see just when it seems all hope is lost the hawks will be to your left and a bunch of heroes will show up sorry lando is going to be like we're here and a bunch of heroes show up oh great , and then Palpatine is going to use lightning to attack Rey and he's going to be like I'm the same wow woof woof woof and then Tony is going to be like and I'm Iron Man sorry Ray is going to be like and I'm all the Jedi, I love it, yeah, so he's shooting lightning at it. her and she's blocking it with a lightsaber yeah oh yeah and they're fighting but then she uses two lightsabers and that does the trick.
He is hit with her own lightning. Couldn't he have stopped shooting the beam? him be that guy who beats himself up a lot so Rey dies oh okay but then it turns out Ben isn't dead because falling off things doesn't really mean anything in Star Wars right? and then he transfers some life force to Ray so that she wakes up. Wow well they should kiss what they should have a little kiss well I really don't know if there was a romantic that made them kiss alright so they kiss and then he dies oh he dies oh yeah he transferred the last of his life. force her oh so she can transfer it now well yeah but she doesn't know wild so all the good guys are going to have a big party so much fun and Lando and this ex stormtrooper talk about how she doesn't I don't know where she's from and he's going to be like well let's find out why.
Does that mean it's unclear, sir, either a spinoff affair or you're going to hook up with someone 55 years younger than that? Well, that's either exciting or potentially gross, so overall it sounds great, but one thing is kind of bugging me. With that, sir, we said that Palpatine conveys a message. I just wish we could hear what it was like, oh yeah, I actually had a cool idea about it. Like that
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