Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Pitch Meeting

So, you have a Star Wars sequel for me, yes sir. I have it in the initial text. We're going to find out that Palpatine is alive again and sent a broadcast to everyone. Oh, Palpatine is back, how is that possible? Well, the dark side. it is a path to many skills that some would consider natural oh, very vague, what does that mean? he was pulling strings this whole time like he was seriously creating snow, yeah we just didn't see it because he was in a basement with strobe lights. It's so strange that we never hinted at this at all, in any way, yeah, uh-huh.

Pretty crazy, but this was always the plan, was it like that? I mean, I mean, yeah, I wouldn't

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t a trilogy without a roadmap, you know, I wouldn't, I didn't do it right, so, so what's up in this? Well you know how in the last Jedi we found out that Rey's parents are nobody, yeah, between that and the broom boy it seemed like maybe we were looking for a hopeful message like the force can be with anyone, you don't have to be. related well, it turns out that Ray is Palpatine's granddaughter oh she is, yeah, yeah, pretty cool, right, that means Palpatine has become intimate, oh my god, yeah, no, I guess so. oh no, oh no, no, oh, I'm imagining you.

It's me and I hate doing it so he first said okay maybe we can move on. I literally wouldn't love anything else. So what happens in the movie? Well, the good guys want to get to Palpatine, but to do that they need to get something okay, but to get that they'll have to go one place and get something else and go somewhere else and get something else okay, that sounds like a lot. of search quests like in a video game, well, people love video games. That's a good point, video games make money, so where do they go?

Well, they go to Burning Man and meet Lando Calrissian. They remember he's from the other movie and he says, "I have a bad feeling about this," he says what he says and Then the good guys will be chased by stormtroopers and end up in a tunnel. Oh, that's not good, it's actually because they find a dagger which is a clue to exactly what they're looking for. Oh wow, what are the odds of ending up there? that exact spot after an astronomical chase, but this is space so it's okay, I can't argue with that, so anyway, Rey heals a giant snake and they get out of there, she heals a snake, what are you talking about ?

Well, you can heal people in animals. by giving them some life force or something I decided Oh suddenly deciding that the force can do things is strict that's how it is anyway this dagger has SIF written on it which only c-3po can understand but can't translate why because of its programming. but really, why extend the plot a bit? Okay, I got you, so they need to go to this other planet to translate it, but Chewie gets captured. Oh no, yeah, and they take him away on a ship, but Rey accidentally blows him up, oh my god, she kills Chewbacca.

That's such a powerful shocking moment that I can't believe it, which is a good thing because it doesn't actually happen. Well, I want this movie to have shocking moments, but I don't really want to deal with the actual shock, so usually you know, undo them immediately oh, really, yeah, then Chewbacca explodes, but it turns out he was on another ship, so he's okay, okay, c-3po gets his memory wiped and has to say goodbye to his friends, but r2 has a backup, so it's okay. Wow King. stabs Kylo Ren but then heals them so it's okay it could have been interesting a planet explodes with the characters we know get out of there somehow so it's okay there weren't many consequences either well when Luke said that no one was really gone. in the last movie I really took it very seriously since you already know a story telling device yes sir it seems like that so both Luke and Han will come to hang out a little sure why not so Anyway, they're going to another planet to meet a Power Ranger that Poe used to date and a little alien named Babu Frick.

Oh, what's your problem? oh well, it's just the cutest little marketing opportunity. I love it, so then they go to rescue Chewie and Huck helps them because it turns out that he is. a spy now Oh interesting, it'll be cool to see how that plays out throughout the movie oh no he dies right away oh he does yeah we'll see you in the last Jedi we turned him into a little baby so I gotta do it. replace them with someone intimidating if you say so i do it then the good guys go to another planet and find out that the dagger points to something they need to get to in order to go somewhere what the dagger tells them where to go yeah it turns out someone did this, like this that if you stand in a very specific place and point it at the remains of the Death Star, it shows you where to go and it turns out that they are standing in that specific place and it turns out that they are standing in that specific place. detects Wow Wow Wow, then Ray finds this GPS that he needs, but then she is confronted by an evil version of herself for about 10 seconds, why does that happen?

So we can show it in the trailer, that's smart, so Rey and Kylo Ren have a fight and Finn is also there for some reason oh yeah, what is Finn doing in this movie? Well, I'm sure he'll be there, that sounds good to me. He will also meet other X stormtroopers who also defected. Oh, it's good to remember the fact that. The stormtroopers are like real people that you know exactly and Finn is also going to kill a bunch of stormtroopers. Oh, it is, yeah, now he's pretty good at it, but I guess he doesn't have a choice, so it's kind of a dark moment when he has to do it.

I don't know, he screams a lot when he kills them. Wow, I don't know how this guy feels about stormtroopers. It's not clear, sir, he also has a big secret that he's about to tell Ray when he thinks they're going to die. Oh, what's not? I don't know, and what about Rose? What's wrong with her? Well, I mean, she was a major player in the last movie, she and Finn kissed at the end, right, yeah, but she has to study, so she has to study, I mean, she would have done it. She went on an adventure, but she really liked studying to do well, so what about Maz Kanata?

Are we going to get answers about what's good about The Force Awakens? Han asked how she got Luke's lightsaber and she was a good question for another. time oh yeah, well that's a good question, sure, yeah, but it's probably better for another time. Did you forget to pay that? I forgot to pay that, okay, it happens, I mean a lot, so anyway, so Ray's going to go confront Palpatine on this. The planet called , what ends up happening in the testicle does X? What did I say? Well, Palpatine is like, you know, Rey, if you kill me, my spirits will take over your body.

I guess that may be one thing and then Ben shows up on Palpatine like ooh, a force dyad, a force dyad of a force dyad, then he becomes a Dementor. and he

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ts taking their lives, so things are just happening, huh, things are just happening, so then he throws Ben off a cliff, oh, and then everything goes horribly, I mean, there are too many enemies in the battle space, oh. man, it's going to be hard for the resistance to win now, actually, it's going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience, oh really, yeah, I can see just when it seems like all hope is lost.

The falcons will be to your left and a group of heroes will appear. sorry, Lando is going to be like we're here and a group of heroes show up, oh, very cool, and then Palpatine is going to use lightning to attack Rey and he's going to be like, "I'm all the same wow wow wow wow and then Tony it's going to be like and I'm Iron Man, how is it going to be Ray, I'm sorry, and I'm all Jedi I love it, yeah, so he shoots a beam at her and she blocks it with a lightsaber, yeah, yeah, and they're fighting. , but then she uses two lightsabers and that does the trick where he gets hit with his own beam couldn't he have just stopped shooting the beam, yeah, but he doesn't, that's his thing, it seems like that one. guy hits himself a lot and then Rey dies, oh okay, but then it turns out Ben isn't dead because falling off things doesn't really mean anything in Star Wars, right, and then he transfers some life force to Ray to Let her wake up.

Wow, well, they should kiss. Well, no. I really don't know that there was a romantic who made them kiss, so they kiss and then he dies, oh, he dies, oh yeah, le. He transferred the last of his life force to her, oh, so she can transfer it back to him now, well, yeah. but she doesn't know Savage, so all the good guys are going to have a really fun big party and Lando and this ex-stormtrooper talk about how she doesn't know where she's from and he'll be like, well, let's find out what she knows. That means it's unclear, sir, whether it's a spin-off affair or he'll hook up with someone 55 years younger than him.

Well, that's either exciting or potentially gross, so what do you think overall? Well, it sounds great, but there's one thing that bothers me. Sir, we said that Palpatine conveys a message. I wish we could hear what it was. Oh yeah, he actually had a pretty good idea about that. Oh, you had it, yes, yes, have you heard of fifteen days? Hi guys, I'm Ryan, I hope you like it.

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