Anthony Jeselnik Brings the Funeral Vibes | TigerBelly 297

Sorry, I can't do this. Go in there and now there's a neon sign that says Jeff is behind the piano, yeah, that's up there and I really like it, it's like Eliza uh maz gibrani and then Eliza and I at the end of her performance it's like seeing that sign there it is. that's jeff scott he was the pianist he passed away recently we all love him his family the crowd was fine i went on stage and i must have made 25 jeff scott jokes like i couldn't help it but i tried it as just making fun and i'm sure he would have laughed at all of them, yeah, it went from something like: am I going to get too emotional?

Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah, I hope no one is recording this because I just wish I could. I can't help it, yeah, he, um, that was another devastating one because you know he was there when I started, it was just like he was part of the furniture, he was always there and I loved his work like he was never in a bad mood. . It was never like being out of Jeff's way tonight like he was always excited and loved everyone and everything and was always great to talk to. He was more store than I would say than some of Mitzi's brothers, you know, I mean.

Like he had always been there, it was almost like the building, you know, I mean, kicked him out, that's how he was born, like he was always supposed to be there, so this is the kind of magical boy that you meet and I don't. I even know how he died of a heart attack, I think so, and then there was a yes, yes, yes. The death that really affected me in comedy was that of Brodie Stevens. I think it changed me as a person because it just made me want to be nicer because that's always how I give you a hard time, like I was always teasing you, yeah, like I did with Brody and I tried to do it respectfully because I knew he was very sensitive, yes, but after he died.

It just made me wish I had been even nicer to him and used Brody a lot and always took the time to talk to him and let him have that stream of consciousness thought that he would give me, stand there and take. but it just made me want to be a nicer person in general and this is coming from someone who is very irritable and always has the insult ready yeah, uh, that made me, I think it made me a nicer person, he was, that was the The most devastating thing, I mean, remember the day, do you remember the day, I mean it was, I say this because you know he did our podcast, yeah, I love him, I'm the one who brought him to the comedy store back in the day, um, ya You know.

A lot of people know this, but Brody was an animal whisperer, as I remember when he came to the house we had, a foster dog that had been very aggressive and didn't really like men very much. I just got home, I picked up the dog, the dog fell asleep on his lap and that was the first time we saw that dog snuggle next to someone and I wanted to cry, it's like he had so much comfort in his On the way back I thought , oh, he's a different magical being, yeah, you know, I'd believe that. I got an eight one eight tattoo after Brody passed, really?, where it's like a really small one on the back of my arm, uh, him because he was around when I started doing this, so he He was the guy I was from open, I saw him at open mics and then I kept seeing him throughout, he was always part of the comedy for me.

Yeah, and I just saw the ups and downs of him, uh, I can't, it's hard to imagine like LA comedy without him, yeah, it's devastating, man mm-hmm, especially like this, someone gets hit by a truck. I can make a joke that will attack your heart. I had a good life but you go out on your own and that's what really crushes me and I think you know there are a lot of thoughts that you know could have been avoided maybe you even know what I mean I mean I understand the thought. that way, but I also think he lived a long time because of how crazy he was, you know, that's a good point, yeah, that's right, I mean that whole Starbucks event, remember, oh God, and all that, yeah, yeah, yeah, so at the end, Anthony at the end of our podcast we do something called useless advice and people email us like, um, you know the problems and the questions and stuff, and you do your best to respond, It's not necessary if you don't want to, you think I can't handle this, uh, before. before you think this is a curveball in a podcast could you do that thing you were emailing oh uh before we get to that we have two patreon questions for

anthony

the first is from emmanuel leon any good stories from patrice o'neill, you know?

I only met Patrice the one time we did the roast together, we didn't really talk beforehand, you know, we saw each other on stage, he helped me like I told him a joke that totally bombed, but he laughed so much they left him on thing and I made fun of him because I didn't realize what was going on. Mike Tyson was booing so much that I was ready to say: When do I tell Mike Tyson to shut his mouth? Patrice gave it to me. like a joke, he was like I told him this joke and he says there are too many white people to understand that joke, yeah, and I said just be ready for a boo, I'm going, you know, what nobody says is that there are very few blacks and matrices. like what I just helped and then after the barbecue, Patrice was still in that area again, like he had just finished and we came back to the hotel at the same time and talked like we were walking through the lobby towards the elevator. and he wasn't complaining, but he just didn't like the roast, he didn't like that, why did he have to be so mean and all this stuff we talked about for a few minutes and then he walked out? in the elevator and he was like I was a couple floors above him and I was like, you know, I can get him, I don't know this guy, I know he's a legend, I could sit down, I can sit down and talk to him all the time. night, but I'm also tired, I had a few mini drinks like I was going to go to bed, the elevator door was closed and then he left a few months later, I wish I'd gotten to know him more, but uh, oh, obviously, I always did.

I respected, but yes, no. When he was in New York, he had already been kicked out of all the clubs he was in. Wow, you know he would get into trouble like working in public with people and b2 being too mean, so I. No? I really didn't have it. I wish I had a good Patrice O'Neill story, but I don't think it's great. And then, this is from Douglas Huerta. What kind of comic is Bobby Lee to you? Please prepare yourself. I think Bobby reads, I would describe him as someone who has trouble enjoying how good he is and I'll watch you like destroy and then walk off the stage and I'm cool that bobby and I'm a hack and I'm like I wish You could get out of your own way and just enjoy the good.

You don't have to have a new joke every time. You don't have to think of something that comes to mind every time, like you're amazing. Artist and people love you, if you loved yourself one tenth of what people love you, you would be very happy. I'm trying. You know what average comedian? That's what I like. I feel comfortable. Hey guys, I'm going to take a break real quick. share this amazing sponsor that we use and love you know how we started our own online store with tiger belly and we are doing what we love we are selling products that people want yeah and orders go out pretty fast yeah you know that use shipstation, that's all I know, all I know is that we would have nothing without it.

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We know those things were like someone coming to you after the show and it's like you doing a headlining set. And it's man, you do five that weekend, it might not be the best show and after someone says, thanks, that was great, you say, oh, this wasn't so good, you should have been there last night, yeah, shut up . They don't do it because it's just that it might be the only time they see you and they loved it like some of the shows that I thought were the worst, someone like that is the best experience in my life was watching that show that I've learned just to say. thank you, yeah, I'd be like, "Oh, that woman couldn't shut up or the waiters screwed this up or they made the check like just saying thank you because people really love it and you don't have to get in the way of their enjoyment, yeah, you know, um , yeah, somewhere else, he's not taking the numbers, right, but he's not taking things so personally either.

I want to do that, I think the pandemic is just thinking about my life and I'm like I'm also in therapy and dealing with all this stuff and you know, dealing with the trauma that I grew up with and all that stuff that people don't want to hear, but what I mean is I think in um this episode, I'm glad this happened because There are many things that I have mentioned or that I need, I want to be able to, I want to improve, that I want to, you know, I mean put out these little fires that I want. to make peace with certain people and I just want to like you um I think not, I'm not saying that Anthony changed me on his own, but you did, I shaped you, you shaped me, but I think this was really good. um experience for me because it's like I really want to do these things and um you also helped me get over the fear of climbing you know what I mean and um I want to push myself and I want to work a little bit harder because a lot of you know What I do is that I'm lazy.

Let's get to useless advice. Some hopeless advice with Anthony Castleback. Hi guys, I'm 17 years old and I feel lost. I have had no social life and I watched the world pass by me. I've been trapped in a void I can't escape from for four years, most of the time I feel like the moment Bobby was about to get hit by his father's golf club, scared, confused, frustrated and Tired, the void I like to call is when you. I'm looking for something to feel relief, but everywhere you look you can never find it. I've tried everything but I'm still the same.

I'm still alone in a world and I don't feel part of it like a wolf trying to dress itself. sheep's clothing my question is have you been trapped in a void and if so, when is it more important what you had to say to each other to get out of it? We'll call this guy. You go first. I go first. What's happening? Go ahead, I think. I think you're in a good position, I really do, and just like people who think they've figured this out at 17, they don't have the happiest life. I agree with people, it's like there were people who got jobs right out of college and had like a career and I was so jealous because I struggled for years before I even started doing stand-up and now those people still have those same jobs, yes, and I had like 10 years of misery to get to this where you live an enviable life that if you have it figured out at 17 years old you are wrong, so feeling like a wolf in sheep's clothing or feeling like an imposter is like that a good thing because then you use your 20s to figure out what you want to do and you have unlimited options, but I think I would be scared if I thought I had things figured out or that I had a great social life like if you had work to do but you're 17 .

So you have many options. It's time to do that work and you're not going to romanticize your high school years you're going to like looking for your you're going to turn your life into something great because you know what it was like You don't want to live the best years of your life as a teenager, you want be later and if the best years of your life are at 50, that is a very successful life, you know, even if you are 30 and 40 years old. miserable like that just a kind of hug you get you can be different you can become not like everyone else and that's a gift too like 17 I was very introspective in that sense like when I graduated from high school everyone I took philosophy classes and in high school and you know, I mean reading Sartre and Kierkegaard and all that stuff and right then was when I was also journaling and I was very introspective and I was very, you know, analyzing myself forinside and also outside, he was very sensitive to the outside. world and I, you know, it was also at a time when people like my friends were going to club med or you know, I mean spring break and these white guys were letting you know you know abs and they were on the beach with girls. hot. and you know, meanwhile I'm making tequila, I'm like, you know, working in coffee shops, a little chubby, you know, and like nothing, never, I mean zero, right, I didn't have anything like, you know, but I'm very happy that all that happened because I understood it later in life, you know, I mean, and I went through a lot of dark rehab, you know what I mean and you know, going to meetings at 20 years old and with no money and yeah I didn't have those experiences in 23 I passed by the comedy store and it said open mic night on Sundays, it was 1995.

I went, I just walked by and yet I always thought about doing it and I looked at that sign and I said: do you know what I'm going to do? Do it and I just signed up and it went up, but without all that pain and suffering and all that stuff I don't think I would have done it, no, and now you wouldn't have abs, yeah, yeah, how do you do it? Can I get abs? You definitely can, yes, is it too late? Just like with your posture, you are getting in your own way. You wouldn't want to do the work to get abs.

I would not do it. I want to do the work because it's twofold, it's not even just working out, so you gotta eat right, yeah, yeah, you know, no, don't pressure me, baby, I haven't said anything, I love you, no, no, no . No, I'll get a six pack, I like you, round, I'll be able to do it, abs for me, it's like you've ever seen someone with a very delicate beard, like a special beard where it's like a very fine line all I see , even if it looks good, I'm like I can imagine you in the mirror having to do that every day like a six pack abs, I just think about what you have to do to get it, that's exactly my point.

Like I'm not attracted to gym rats because the amount of effort and the amount of vanity that someone would have to have to perfect a well-groomed appearance is too much for me to handle exactly exactly it's like they're your priorities it's exhausting yeah, yeah, It is there's something like a three pack, I mean that's how it works, it's six packs or nothing, no, you just want a suggestion of a line, yeah, and then the upper part of your abdomen a little bit like a valley and that's it. as one you want to have a strong core, you do it, okay, no, it's not, and this you can, it can be flabby on top, as long as you're like I have back problems, so I do a lot of extra core exercises to keep My back in place but I ain't got a six-pack no way, yeah that's how you feel, not how you look, how do you feel about me?

I told you, even if I really love this, you're my type, I like round thing only when I think of you I only think of dirty arteries and that's what's very worrying if you hadn't said arteries I would I would laugh for the next three days I think in you I think I like to fantasize about just taking something to scrape your arteries and just free that highway like a knife like a knife to, dream about it, my arteries are clogged oh, a lot, so oh, it's okay anyway, That's our program, is there anything else? Okay, are you too?

I want to promote your show, your podcast, yeah, I'm up, we're both into all things comedy now, um, we're all common problems, I have a podcast that I do weekly with my best friend, it's called Jesselnick and Rosenthal's Vanity. . jrvp project uh, we don't have any guests, it's just us, uh, we're just, we've been best friends for the last 25 years, we met in college, he's an NFL analyst and so he has a background in broadcasting and I I'm just kind. To start, we talk about the crazy stories of the week and whatever my latest comedy problem is, but it's very funny, very absurd and, uh, it's hard to describe, but people who like it really like it and I think, wow, fans of this are fans of this. podcast I think I would like, I would like that podcast, Bobby, do you understand that's the cover of the podcast?

Do you know what it refers to? It's a reference to a hip-hop album. No, I do not know. Oh, none of you understand. I feel like I'm close what do you think it is what is ghost face kayla bulletproof wallets wow I'm him I'm my friend greg is he uh his uh his ghost face you know that picture of you though god you're handsome there thanks hey bro me too I'm handsome here, I know, but as long as I'm there, your friend is fine too, he's fine, yes, yes, he's fine, give a round of applause to Anthony Jeselnik.

Thank you very much, thank you for inviting me anytime abroad.